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Sarabi nuzzled him. "There are times your own mother couldn't love you, " she said. "This is not one of them. Forget the prophesy--I liked you better the way you were, when you trusted me."
"I trust you now, " Taka said, beginning to groom his mane again. "I don't think you'd ever WANT to hate me. But things can happen--bad things."
"Like what?"
"I don't know what kind of things, but you know. I mean, maybe I'll do something really stupid and you wouldn't love me anymore."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm coming of age, the time when a lion goes out into The Big World to make his fortune. Other than food and water, I have one need. Love, Sassie. Right now, Mom and Dad still love me. Maybe not as much as Muffy, but they do. And you love me, don't you?"
"Yes! How many times do I have to tell you??"
"Once, " Taka said quietly. He put his left paw on her shoulder. He could feel her tremble. "It's time we stated our intentions. I want you."
"We are not of age, " Sarabi said. "Not in their eyes at least. It is corban. They would never agree to this."
"Then don't ask them to, " Taka said. "If you will always love me, pledge to me. I won't ask more until you come to me of your own free will. But we'll go away together. We'll leave tonight at high moon."
"I’m honored, really, " Sarabi said. "But how are you so sure you will want me as your lioness? I mean we’re friends, but do you really know what you want?"
He put his left paw on her shoulder once more and let it fondle her strong, shapely form. "Our love could move Heaven and Earth, " he whispered seductively. "It would spread like ripples in a pond, growing, spreading, deepening. You know I want you. When you look at me, when you touch me, I want you. Sarabi, look at me. You know I want you."
She felt his eyes meet hers. It was what lionesses call ‘The Look’. "I believe you." She tore herself away from The Look and glanced down at the ground. "You will be Prince Consort. It is foolish to go away when you are wanted here. It is safe here--out there in The Big World it is so uncertain. We have to think about our children."
"There is only one certainty I want, " Taka said with barely suppressed passion. "Before the gods, before the stars, before the assembled host I swear to give you my protection, my love, and my comfort forever." He looked at her pleadingly, like a small cub who's afraid of the dark. "Come on, Sarabi. Say it."
She started to hold her paw out to touch his. It trembled. She put it down. In the intensity of the moment she could not speak.
A painful moment passed. Taka's face changed visibly--it was like watching him die. "I understand, " he said. "You are only a small lioness in a big world. How could you hope to fight destiny?" His ears laid back dejectedly and his tail hung limply. “It would be better for all of us if I left. I want to be remembered with some kindness—maybe a little regret for what might have been. And it might have been fine, Sassie.”
Sarabi felt her eyes mist up. He trotted off into the bush without another word.
Though his essence still hung in the air, he was gone. Tears began to roll down her cheeks. “May the gods be with you.”
SCENE: FRIENDS IN UNLIKELY PLACES
SCENE: THE CONFRONTATION
SCENE: THE MANTLEMENT CEREMONY
SCENE: SARABI’S NEWS
SCENE: THE ULTIMATUM
SCENE: THE ILLNESS
"I trust you now, " Taka said, beginning to groom his mane again. "I don't think you'd ever WANT to hate me. But things can happen--bad things."
"Like what?"
"I don't know what kind of things, but you know. I mean, maybe I'll do something really stupid and you wouldn't love me anymore."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm coming of age, the time when a lion goes out into The Big World to make his fortune. Other than food and water, I have one need. Love, Sassie. Right now, Mom and Dad still love me. Maybe not as much as Muffy, but they do. And you love me, don't you?"
"Yes! How many times do I have to tell you??"
"Once, " Taka said quietly. He put his left paw on her shoulder. He could feel her tremble. "It's time we stated our intentions. I want you."
"We are not of age, " Sarabi said. "Not in their eyes at least. It is corban. They would never agree to this."
"Then don't ask them to, " Taka said. "If you will always love me, pledge to me. I won't ask more until you come to me of your own free will. But we'll go away together. We'll leave tonight at high moon."
"I’m honored, really, " Sarabi said. "But how are you so sure you will want me as your lioness? I mean we’re friends, but do you really know what you want?"
He put his left paw on her shoulder once more and let it fondle her strong, shapely form. "Our love could move Heaven and Earth, " he whispered seductively. "It would spread like ripples in a pond, growing, spreading, deepening. You know I want you. When you look at me, when you touch me, I want you. Sarabi, look at me. You know I want you."
She felt his eyes meet hers. It was what lionesses call ‘The Look’. "I believe you." She tore herself away from The Look and glanced down at the ground. "You will be Prince Consort. It is foolish to go away when you are wanted here. It is safe here--out there in The Big World it is so uncertain. We have to think about our children."
"There is only one certainty I want, " Taka said with barely suppressed passion. "Before the gods, before the stars, before the assembled host I swear to give you my protection, my love, and my comfort forever." He looked at her pleadingly, like a small cub who's afraid of the dark. "Come on, Sarabi. Say it."
She started to hold her paw out to touch his. It trembled. She put it down. In the intensity of the moment she could not speak.
A painful moment passed. Taka's face changed visibly--it was like watching him die. "I understand, " he said. "You are only a small lioness in a big world. How could you hope to fight destiny?" His ears laid back dejectedly and his tail hung limply. “It would be better for all of us if I left. I want to be remembered with some kindness—maybe a little regret for what might have been. And it might have been fine, Sassie.”
Sarabi felt her eyes mist up. He trotted off into the bush without another word.
Deep in the heart is a land of shadows,
Its a place of sighs and tears
That’s where the lost dreams and hopes forsaken
Tend to end up through the years.
Oh, but they don’t go down easy, no, they do not meekly go,
To that graveyard for high expectations where the
broken dreams lie low!
They cry for attention and they seek intervention
till they shake your very soul.
You may try to bury what your heart can’t carry,
but it won’t stay in the hole.
Heavy the heart of the disappointed,
Long the empty path of night;
That is the fate of the broken-hearted,
When the darkness steals the light.
Sarabi watched him draw further and further away until he was a small speck of tawny among the brush. Panic seized her, and she found her tongue. "Taka! Wait! I'll do it! " Apparently he did not hear any voices but those in his head. "Taka! "
Oh, but they don’t go down easy, no, they do not meekly go,
To that graveyard for high expectations where the
broken dreams lie low!
They cry for attention and they seek intervention
till they shake your very soul.
You may try to bury what your heart can’t carry,
but it won’t stay in the hole!
Though his essence still hung in the air, he was gone. Tears began to roll down her cheeks. “May the gods be with you.”
SCENE: FRIENDS IN UNLIKELY PLACES
Taka was leaving the Pride Lands without even the traditional blessing. He had never learned to hunt, secure that he would always have a home. Now he left for the river valley. He took a small comfort knowing where he was going he would need no hunting skills, and no place to rest his head. Perhaps with the kings of old among the stars he could look down and see his beloved across the vault of heaven. Would she marry? Would she have beautiful cubs whose smiles warm the very heart of Aiheu? Would she remember his love through the years?
Finally he stood on the brink of the river valley. On the threshold of death, his life blood coursed through his veins and his heart beat like a hammer. Not far from where he stood was a sheer drop-off, the kind of place where a lion could fall and fall without suffering on the craggy slopes, and then just stop. Just stop--what a thought. Would it hurt? Would it have time to hurt? Would it make a difference how he landed? He would know very soon.
“Lord Aiheu, creator of the universe, I stand far from the rest, alone for I am dying. Forgive the many hurts I have caused. The night is coming when the breath you gave me will return to the heavens.” He dropped his formal prayers, and cried, “Gods, help me! I’m afraid. Let it be quick. Aiheu abamami! ” His legs tensed for the final spring into oblivion.
Just when he was about to plunge to his death, he heard the death cry of a gazelle, and turned. He could see a lone hyena panting, pulling the hide off a fresh kill. Through his deep grief, he felt hunger. Even if he chose to die, he must not die hungry. “Aiheu provides.”
Glad to experience one last pleasure before he died, he ran to the kill, baring his teeth. The hyena, a female, backed back. He glared at her, the first hyena he'd ever seen close up. Something about her took him by surprise. Down one side of her face were horrible scars, and the eye was missing. He stared at the horrible wound, stunned by the thought that in this way she was just like him, only she was blind on one side. And somehow he noticed how she was staring at his eye. For several quiet moments, they stood there and looked at each other.
"I have young, my lord, " she said at last. "Have pity on poor Fabana. When you are gone, we must go on living."
"Indeed, " he said. "There is enough for all. I am...." he hesitated to say it aloud. "I would rather not die hungry."
"What happened to yours? Your old man do that?"
"What?"
"Your eye. You lions think we are crude, " she said. "Not good enough for the Pride Lands. But we don't drive off our sons into the cruelty of the unknown. We love them. Tell me, stranger, have you ever heard of a hyena jumping to his death?"
"No, I don't think I have." He quickly changed the topic. "You say you're a mother. Where are your cubs? They must eat too. I won't hurt them. I'm only a danger to myself these days."
"I can tell." She called softly behind her. "Shenzi. Banzai. Edward. It's all right. Come on out."
Three pups came out of the brush and stared at the lion. Taka had never seen young hyenas before. The small female looked as their mother must have once.
"My name is Taka, " he said quietly. "Don't be afraid." He lay his large bulk down like a huge sphinx. When he looked less threatening, the pups came over and cautiously sniffed of him. “So this one is Edward. What does it mean?”
“It is the name of a man. He saved me when I was a pup. My parents were killed in a brush fire. Feel along my neck.”
Taka carefully ran his large paw along her throat. He felt a gap where there was no fur.
“The collar, ” she said. “I was tied to a tree with a rope. That’s something like a vine, but stronger.”
“Then he was cruel to you?”
“No, but his dog was. One day name calling was not enough, and the whelp did this to me.” She turned her scar to face Taka. “I killed him. That’s why the man drove me away. But I do not forget that he saved my life, so I named my first born Edward.”
“You have saved my life. I’m not sure I could work up the nerve a second time.” He looked at her pleadingly. “Please do not drive me away.”
"Your troubles aren't not so bad, ” she said. “Many lions come through this just fine. Someday you will find security and love."
"But I already had, or I thought I did. You don't know how I have suffered."
"When you have eaten, tell me."
Taka attacked the carcass with desperation, but after the first few bites took the edge off his hunger, his wisdom took over. He stopped while there were still some choice portions and insisted that Fabana finish it.
“My father, Ahadi—you’ve heard about him, haven’t you?”
“He’s the Lion King, isn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“That makes you the Prince then?” She gasped.
“No, Prince Consort.”
“Oh, that explains a lot.” She shook her head. “I didn’t think a prince would want to kill himself. I take it you don’t get along with your brother?”
“Actually I like my brother. He’s not very clever, but his heart is in the right place.”
She clucked her tongue. “Then that leaves one possibility. You have a girl. I bet she’s stiffed you for the Prince, hasn’t she?”
“No.” He had quickly denied it, but it didn’t seem that impossible. “This isn’t just any lioness and it isn’t just another girl problem.”
“That’s what they all say.”
“Yes, but there’s a curse behind this. Evil spirits. Makedde was treating me for this eye problem when his brother Rafiki tried to tell my future.”
“Rafiki! ” She stopped eating. “Lord, honey, you just got to tell me all about this. Evil spirits you say? A curse?”
For well on an hour or more he poured out his heart to her, and as he did, he watched her nod her head gravely once in a while. It made him cry to tell it, but they were tears of healing, and he felt much better.
Out of lion manners, he waited to hear her story. But she would not talk of herself much. One thing she would say—Jalkort, the father of her cubs was dead, killed unjustly for the murder of the Princess Avina. “He ate after she had died, but of all the foolish things he’s done, he did not murder your Aunt. Someday I must face the King and plead his case.”
“Though he is already dead? What will you accomplish?”
“He was my husband.”
“You are a romantic, ” Taka said, kissing her cheek. “If I was in trouble, I wouldn’t mind having you on my side. Perhaps I can arrange a meeting.”
Fabana felt compassion for Taka and taught him all of the pass phrases and signs that would let him pass safely through her lands. But most importantly, she gave him some advice that would change his path forever. "I know the mandrill of which you speak. He told my fortune too. He said that I would meet friends in unexpected places, but they would turn on me in my hour of need. You have not turned on me. My advice is to forget the prophesy--it is a piece of nonsense that has cost you dearly. Apologize to your lover. Kiss your mother. Make your father proud of you. And remember old Fabana. If you do become King someday, teach your children that we all have a heart and soul under our different hides.” She pulled her pups close to her. “Lift the ban for their sakes."
Finally he stood on the brink of the river valley. On the threshold of death, his life blood coursed through his veins and his heart beat like a hammer. Not far from where he stood was a sheer drop-off, the kind of place where a lion could fall and fall without suffering on the craggy slopes, and then just stop. Just stop--what a thought. Would it hurt? Would it have time to hurt? Would it make a difference how he landed? He would know very soon.
“Lord Aiheu, creator of the universe, I stand far from the rest, alone for I am dying. Forgive the many hurts I have caused. The night is coming when the breath you gave me will return to the heavens.” He dropped his formal prayers, and cried, “Gods, help me! I’m afraid. Let it be quick. Aiheu abamami! ” His legs tensed for the final spring into oblivion.
Just when he was about to plunge to his death, he heard the death cry of a gazelle, and turned. He could see a lone hyena panting, pulling the hide off a fresh kill. Through his deep grief, he felt hunger. Even if he chose to die, he must not die hungry. “Aiheu provides.”
Glad to experience one last pleasure before he died, he ran to the kill, baring his teeth. The hyena, a female, backed back. He glared at her, the first hyena he'd ever seen close up. Something about her took him by surprise. Down one side of her face were horrible scars, and the eye was missing. He stared at the horrible wound, stunned by the thought that in this way she was just like him, only she was blind on one side. And somehow he noticed how she was staring at his eye. For several quiet moments, they stood there and looked at each other.
"I have young, my lord, " she said at last. "Have pity on poor Fabana. When you are gone, we must go on living."
"Indeed, " he said. "There is enough for all. I am...." he hesitated to say it aloud. "I would rather not die hungry."
"What happened to yours? Your old man do that?"
"What?"
"Your eye. You lions think we are crude, " she said. "Not good enough for the Pride Lands. But we don't drive off our sons into the cruelty of the unknown. We love them. Tell me, stranger, have you ever heard of a hyena jumping to his death?"
"No, I don't think I have." He quickly changed the topic. "You say you're a mother. Where are your cubs? They must eat too. I won't hurt them. I'm only a danger to myself these days."
"I can tell." She called softly behind her. "Shenzi. Banzai. Edward. It's all right. Come on out."
Three pups came out of the brush and stared at the lion. Taka had never seen young hyenas before. The small female looked as their mother must have once.
"My name is Taka, " he said quietly. "Don't be afraid." He lay his large bulk down like a huge sphinx. When he looked less threatening, the pups came over and cautiously sniffed of him. “So this one is Edward. What does it mean?”
“It is the name of a man. He saved me when I was a pup. My parents were killed in a brush fire. Feel along my neck.”
Taka carefully ran his large paw along her throat. He felt a gap where there was no fur.
“The collar, ” she said. “I was tied to a tree with a rope. That’s something like a vine, but stronger.”
“Then he was cruel to you?”
“No, but his dog was. One day name calling was not enough, and the whelp did this to me.” She turned her scar to face Taka. “I killed him. That’s why the man drove me away. But I do not forget that he saved my life, so I named my first born Edward.”
“You have saved my life. I’m not sure I could work up the nerve a second time.” He looked at her pleadingly. “Please do not drive me away.”
"Your troubles aren't not so bad, ” she said. “Many lions come through this just fine. Someday you will find security and love."
"But I already had, or I thought I did. You don't know how I have suffered."
"When you have eaten, tell me."
Taka attacked the carcass with desperation, but after the first few bites took the edge off his hunger, his wisdom took over. He stopped while there were still some choice portions and insisted that Fabana finish it.
“My father, Ahadi—you’ve heard about him, haven’t you?”
“He’s the Lion King, isn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“That makes you the Prince then?” She gasped.
“No, Prince Consort.”
“Oh, that explains a lot.” She shook her head. “I didn’t think a prince would want to kill himself. I take it you don’t get along with your brother?”
“Actually I like my brother. He’s not very clever, but his heart is in the right place.”
She clucked her tongue. “Then that leaves one possibility. You have a girl. I bet she’s stiffed you for the Prince, hasn’t she?”
“No.” He had quickly denied it, but it didn’t seem that impossible. “This isn’t just any lioness and it isn’t just another girl problem.”
“That’s what they all say.”
“Yes, but there’s a curse behind this. Evil spirits. Makedde was treating me for this eye problem when his brother Rafiki tried to tell my future.”
“Rafiki! ” She stopped eating. “Lord, honey, you just got to tell me all about this. Evil spirits you say? A curse?”
For well on an hour or more he poured out his heart to her, and as he did, he watched her nod her head gravely once in a while. It made him cry to tell it, but they were tears of healing, and he felt much better.
Out of lion manners, he waited to hear her story. But she would not talk of herself much. One thing she would say—Jalkort, the father of her cubs was dead, killed unjustly for the murder of the Princess Avina. “He ate after she had died, but of all the foolish things he’s done, he did not murder your Aunt. Someday I must face the King and plead his case.”
“Though he is already dead? What will you accomplish?”
“He was my husband.”
“You are a romantic, ” Taka said, kissing her cheek. “If I was in trouble, I wouldn’t mind having you on my side. Perhaps I can arrange a meeting.”
Fabana felt compassion for Taka and taught him all of the pass phrases and signs that would let him pass safely through her lands. But most importantly, she gave him some advice that would change his path forever. "I know the mandrill of which you speak. He told my fortune too. He said that I would meet friends in unexpected places, but they would turn on me in my hour of need. You have not turned on me. My advice is to forget the prophesy--it is a piece of nonsense that has cost you dearly. Apologize to your lover. Kiss your mother. Make your father proud of you. And remember old Fabana. If you do become King someday, teach your children that we all have a heart and soul under our different hides.” She pulled her pups close to her. “Lift the ban for their sakes."
SCENE: THE CONFRONTATION
Sarabi was in tears when Mufasa found her. He nuzzled her affectionately and turned to face her when she looked away. "Sassie, tell me about it."
"It's Taka. He's gone."
"What do you mean by gone?"
"Gone. He's left the Pride Lands. He begged me to come with him, and I thought about it. Now I wish I had. He's out there alone, Muffy! He's kind and gentle, but he doesn't know a thing about life in The Big World."
It came as a complete surprise to Mufasa, though he believed her at once. "Did he say where he was going?"
"No. He just left."
"Sassie, don't cry. I know how much you love him. We all love him. Maybe when he cools off, he'll come home."
"Do you think so? Do you really think so?"
"Yes. But it may be a long while. He's a proud lion."
She looked down. "What will I do? I always thought it would be Taka and I--just the two of us and our cubs. What's left for me? I will grow old alone and unloved like poor Barata."
Mufasa felt a lump gathering in his throat. "Sassie, I'm going to tell you something, and it's going to sound awful under the circumstances." He looked her in the eyes. "I didn't want to get in my brother's way. But things have changed, and I have to say this or I'll burst."
"Is it what I think it is?"
"Probably." He nuzzled her gently. "Oh gods, Sassie, I feel like such a wretch! Like the lowest thing that ever crawled out from under a stone. But I love you. I've always loved you. There were times I would have given anything if you loved me instead of Taka. But I don't want to lose my brother or hurt him in any way. All my life I’ve felt like I was being torn in two directions. I can’t bear to lose both of you. Don't hate me for being truthful."
"I don't." She nuzzled him. "I've always known how you felt. You can't hide a thing like that."
"Maybe you don't love me the way I love you. At least you like me, don't you? I mean, I'll make sure you always have what you need. I'll take care of you. If you'll be my mate, I'll do anything for you--anything."
"Even forgive Taka?"
"You make it sound so hard. He’s my brother. I want him to come home."
"I need time to think about it, " Sarabi said.
Mufasa nodded. "Of course."
Excusing herself, Sarabi rose and padded away slowly. She wandered through the tall grass of the savanna alone with her thoughts. Everything had been simple once. Love had been a cub once, but now it was a lioness. A lioness who chooses as she wills the lion to desire and the lion to pity.
Now she was acutely aware that her love for Taka was a beautiful sisterly love, but one that did not need or even want to be expressed in passion. On the other hand, Muffy stirred feelings in her that were new and a little frightening, but very wonderful. Ever since Rafiki had whispered his advice to her, Sarabi said nothing to Mufasa but observed him carefully. She was flattered, honored, and even a little sad to think how he yearned for her but said nothing. Now he was gentle and kind, and he came to her with honest longing. She could hardly resist. She hardly wanted to. She desired him as she had never needed Taka, and it filled her with shame. Shame that if anyone had worked to earn her love, it had been Taka. Shame that her love could not be earned. Shame to think how she would destroy him when he found out.
Pity for Taka filled her. She strained to tell the difference between pity and love. Was there really such a gulf, that her heart so quick to cry at his bumps and scrapes could not beat in time with his? Is it really so different to be with one lion or the other? Can she not learn to love when her wild heart is tamed with vows? Can she feel the heat his ardor and not be warmed?
She tried to think of Taka coming to her in the shadows, flush with the expectations of his wedding night. She heard his quiet voice with an edge of passion asking, “Are you ready, beloved? Are you ready?” She imagined herself looking into his eyes the way they looked the last time he saw her, deep and longing. “I am ready.” Her heart raced, but it was fear, not desire. “No, I’m not ready! ” she said aloud. “I don’t want him! Not that way! Oh gods, he would know! ” She collapsed in the grass, sobbing. "Aiheu help me, I love them both, but I don’t want to marry Taka—I’d almost rather die! " She opened her eyes, seeing the savanna through a blurred film of tears. She blinked as a shadow passed overhead. Looking up, she saw Ahadi's majordomo gliding by.
She hunched over, praying he wouldn't see her down here, crying like a hungry cub. With relief, she saw him heading away towards the river. She felt lucky; his sharp eyesight rarely missed anything on the ground.
She started to head back home, but paused, thinking. His sharp eyesight rarely missed anything, even Taka! He could find Taka! Galvanized into action, she burst from her hiding place and sprinted after him, trying to keep him in sight. "Zazu! Wait! "
High above her, the hornbill sped toward the river, the wind whistling past his ears dulling any sounds that might have reached him. Gliding down to a smooth landing, he paced over to the river's edge, eager to begin his noontime ritual. In a quiet spot in the shade of the reeds, he took in a deep breath, stretched his wings, and dipped one foot in the water. “Sheesh! ” He pulled out his leg quickly. “Perfect.”
He backed up a few steps, took a flying leap, and after a few powerful strokes of his wings, folded and dropped like a stone into the cold water.
“Ooo-hoo-HOOO! ” He splashed about until he got used to the frigid tide. It felt good in the oppressive heat. Singing, he splashed about, soaking himself from his primaries clear through to the down.
“What’cha doing?”
“Who? What?” Zazu shook off his head and looked at the youth. “Oh, I’m just tidying up.”
“I thought you were in trouble.”
“Hardly.” Zazu laughed.
The small ball of feathers looked back unblinking.
“Was there something else?”
“Gee, that’s a big beak. What are you?”
“I’m a hornbill.”
“I like hornbills.”
“Thank you.” He smiled. “Best run along or you’ll get splashed. Hornbills do a lot of that”
Pushing along the bottom with his feet and flapping his wings, Zazu made it back to the bank with a great deal of effort. He fanned his wings to shake off diamond droplets, and began to use his beak with surprising finesse to preen his feathers. The show was over, and the gosling went back to its mother to fish for prawns.
It was nearly time to gather the mid-day news for Ahadi. In return for his services, Zazu lived a safe life. He could pick the choicest fruits from the trees where predators made their stealthy living, for he was corban--off limits--to all who would enjoy a well-fed hornbill.
When he was nearly dry enough to take off, a lioness came out of the bush. “Zazu! Thank heavens you’re still here.”
“Sarabi! Good morning.”
“It’s NOT a good morning, ” she said with distress. “When you make your rounds, tell me if you see Taka. He’s run off, and I’m worried about him.”
“Run off, you say? That whining little imp? I didn’t think he had the nerve.” He rubbed his eyes. “I wouldn’t worry about him. He’ll come back when he’s had a taste of the bush.”
“Zazu! I know you don’t like him, but you do like me, don’t you?”
“Of course I do. I value your friendship highly.”
“And you like Mufasa, don’t you?” She didn’t even wait for an answer. “Listen, it’s important for Muffy and I to know where he is. Besides, that would be some real news for the King. Akase is going crazy worrying about him.”
“I’ll get right on it.”
Zazu spread his wings and in a moment he was up beyond the tops of the trees, headed off to make his rounds.
“Good luck! ”
"It's Taka. He's gone."
"What do you mean by gone?"
"Gone. He's left the Pride Lands. He begged me to come with him, and I thought about it. Now I wish I had. He's out there alone, Muffy! He's kind and gentle, but he doesn't know a thing about life in The Big World."
It came as a complete surprise to Mufasa, though he believed her at once. "Did he say where he was going?"
"No. He just left."
"Sassie, don't cry. I know how much you love him. We all love him. Maybe when he cools off, he'll come home."
"Do you think so? Do you really think so?"
"Yes. But it may be a long while. He's a proud lion."
She looked down. "What will I do? I always thought it would be Taka and I--just the two of us and our cubs. What's left for me? I will grow old alone and unloved like poor Barata."
Mufasa felt a lump gathering in his throat. "Sassie, I'm going to tell you something, and it's going to sound awful under the circumstances." He looked her in the eyes. "I didn't want to get in my brother's way. But things have changed, and I have to say this or I'll burst."
"Is it what I think it is?"
"Probably." He nuzzled her gently. "Oh gods, Sassie, I feel like such a wretch! Like the lowest thing that ever crawled out from under a stone. But I love you. I've always loved you. There were times I would have given anything if you loved me instead of Taka. But I don't want to lose my brother or hurt him in any way. All my life I’ve felt like I was being torn in two directions. I can’t bear to lose both of you. Don't hate me for being truthful."
"I don't." She nuzzled him. "I've always known how you felt. You can't hide a thing like that."
"Maybe you don't love me the way I love you. At least you like me, don't you? I mean, I'll make sure you always have what you need. I'll take care of you. If you'll be my mate, I'll do anything for you--anything."
"Even forgive Taka?"
"You make it sound so hard. He’s my brother. I want him to come home."
"I need time to think about it, " Sarabi said.
Mufasa nodded. "Of course."
Excusing herself, Sarabi rose and padded away slowly. She wandered through the tall grass of the savanna alone with her thoughts. Everything had been simple once. Love had been a cub once, but now it was a lioness. A lioness who chooses as she wills the lion to desire and the lion to pity.
Now she was acutely aware that her love for Taka was a beautiful sisterly love, but one that did not need or even want to be expressed in passion. On the other hand, Muffy stirred feelings in her that were new and a little frightening, but very wonderful. Ever since Rafiki had whispered his advice to her, Sarabi said nothing to Mufasa but observed him carefully. She was flattered, honored, and even a little sad to think how he yearned for her but said nothing. Now he was gentle and kind, and he came to her with honest longing. She could hardly resist. She hardly wanted to. She desired him as she had never needed Taka, and it filled her with shame. Shame that if anyone had worked to earn her love, it had been Taka. Shame that her love could not be earned. Shame to think how she would destroy him when he found out.
Pity for Taka filled her. She strained to tell the difference between pity and love. Was there really such a gulf, that her heart so quick to cry at his bumps and scrapes could not beat in time with his? Is it really so different to be with one lion or the other? Can she not learn to love when her wild heart is tamed with vows? Can she feel the heat his ardor and not be warmed?
She tried to think of Taka coming to her in the shadows, flush with the expectations of his wedding night. She heard his quiet voice with an edge of passion asking, “Are you ready, beloved? Are you ready?” She imagined herself looking into his eyes the way they looked the last time he saw her, deep and longing. “I am ready.” Her heart raced, but it was fear, not desire. “No, I’m not ready! ” she said aloud. “I don’t want him! Not that way! Oh gods, he would know! ” She collapsed in the grass, sobbing. "Aiheu help me, I love them both, but I don’t want to marry Taka—I’d almost rather die! " She opened her eyes, seeing the savanna through a blurred film of tears. She blinked as a shadow passed overhead. Looking up, she saw Ahadi's majordomo gliding by.
She hunched over, praying he wouldn't see her down here, crying like a hungry cub. With relief, she saw him heading away towards the river. She felt lucky; his sharp eyesight rarely missed anything on the ground.
She started to head back home, but paused, thinking. His sharp eyesight rarely missed anything, even Taka! He could find Taka! Galvanized into action, she burst from her hiding place and sprinted after him, trying to keep him in sight. "Zazu! Wait! "
High above her, the hornbill sped toward the river, the wind whistling past his ears dulling any sounds that might have reached him. Gliding down to a smooth landing, he paced over to the river's edge, eager to begin his noontime ritual. In a quiet spot in the shade of the reeds, he took in a deep breath, stretched his wings, and dipped one foot in the water. “Sheesh! ” He pulled out his leg quickly. “Perfect.”
He backed up a few steps, took a flying leap, and after a few powerful strokes of his wings, folded and dropped like a stone into the cold water.
“Ooo-hoo-HOOO! ” He splashed about until he got used to the frigid tide. It felt good in the oppressive heat. Singing, he splashed about, soaking himself from his primaries clear through to the down.
“Mai-sie, Mai-sie,
Your eyes are driving me cra-zy,
Pluck a dai-sy,
Ask it if I am true.
A goose with her goslings watched with harmless amusement. One of the goslings swam over and had to stare a little more closely.
“You’ll pull off the fragrant petals,
And watch as each one settles,
I love you so, and off we’ll go,
To a paradise made for two.”
“What’cha doing?”
“Who? What?” Zazu shook off his head and looked at the youth. “Oh, I’m just tidying up.”
“I thought you were in trouble.”
“Hardly.” Zazu laughed.
The small ball of feathers looked back unblinking.
“Was there something else?”
“Gee, that’s a big beak. What are you?”
“I’m a hornbill.”
“I like hornbills.”
“Thank you.” He smiled. “Best run along or you’ll get splashed. Hornbills do a lot of that”
Pushing along the bottom with his feet and flapping his wings, Zazu made it back to the bank with a great deal of effort. He fanned his wings to shake off diamond droplets, and began to use his beak with surprising finesse to preen his feathers. The show was over, and the gosling went back to its mother to fish for prawns.
It was nearly time to gather the mid-day news for Ahadi. In return for his services, Zazu lived a safe life. He could pick the choicest fruits from the trees where predators made their stealthy living, for he was corban--off limits--to all who would enjoy a well-fed hornbill.
When he was nearly dry enough to take off, a lioness came out of the bush. “Zazu! Thank heavens you’re still here.”
“Sarabi! Good morning.”
“It’s NOT a good morning, ” she said with distress. “When you make your rounds, tell me if you see Taka. He’s run off, and I’m worried about him.”
“Run off, you say? That whining little imp? I didn’t think he had the nerve.” He rubbed his eyes. “I wouldn’t worry about him. He’ll come back when he’s had a taste of the bush.”
“Zazu! I know you don’t like him, but you do like me, don’t you?”
“Of course I do. I value your friendship highly.”
“And you like Mufasa, don’t you?” She didn’t even wait for an answer. “Listen, it’s important for Muffy and I to know where he is. Besides, that would be some real news for the King. Akase is going crazy worrying about him.”
“I’ll get right on it.”
Zazu spread his wings and in a moment he was up beyond the tops of the trees, headed off to make his rounds.
“Good luck! ”
SCENE: THE MANTLEMENT CEREMONY
The next morning, the green plain of the Pride Lands was covered by zebras, antelopes, elephants, giraffes, and many other peoples who pushed and shoved for the best position. Zazu, the King's majordomo, strutted about nervously. He had never spoken before such a huge audience before. King Ahadi looked drained, though he kept up appearances. Queen Akase had a difficult time sitting still beside her husband. She stared into space.
Sarabi and Elanna were wards of the queen, and were invited to sit with the royal family. It was especially a comfort for Sarabi to be next to Akase and smell the familiar smell of her milk mother.
“Zazu, ” Sarabi asked quietly, “Have you seen Taka?”
“I’m sorry. I’ve put out word all over, but I’m afraid he’s long gone.”
“Oh.” She bowed her head.
“Even Gopa the stork hasn’t seen him, and nothing escapes Gopa. But I can fly out past the boundary if you wish. After the ceremony of course.”
“It won’t be necessary.”
Akase motioned her over and nuzzled her affectionately. “You are such a comfort to me. You were his milk sister, and how many times as I nursed you I thought of you as my own little girl, as if I had carried you.”
“I felt it, ” Sarabi said, resting her head on Akase’s shoulder. “Tell me the truth--should I have gone with Taka?”
Akase purred. “No, my child. It is sad enough to lose a son without losing a daughter. And I feel you will be my daughter before the day is out.”
Mufasa got the nod from his father, and started out toward the end of the spur to meet the crowd. But first he paused by Sarabi and smiled to see how gentle she looked leaning on Akase. “My last cubhood thought will be of you, ” he said. “And the first thought as a lion will be of you. Sassie, would you rest your head on me some time?” She looked deep into his eyes and her chin trembled. “Muffy, ” she purred, “My beloved.”
Mufasa walked to the end of the promontory. A brief, dim memory came back to him. “Old Makedde, ” he thought. “Was I so small that he could hold me up?” He smiled, and looked over the crowd. It was good to be back where it had all started.
Zazu shouted, "Long live Prince Mufasa, son of King Ahadi! "
The crowd bowed and scraped. Zebras whinnied, elephants trumpeted, and antelopes stomped their hooves. It only stopped when Zazu spread his wings.
The King met his son at the tip of Pride Rock. "Let all within the sound of my voice know that my son is coming fast on the path of his forefathers. Look, he bears the sign."
Akase took Ahadi's place. "Look down o gods and bless my son who is now a lion." She shuddered visibly. "And bless my son Taka, wherever he is. Hear a mother’s prayer and have mercy on him."
A hush fell over the sward. The zebras looked at one another and the elephants shook their head. Akase stood on the tip of the Pride Rock with a certain dignity, but a deep sadness that bowed her head and stooped her shoulders. They waited for her to say something, anything. One of the zebra mares nuzzled her foal. The leopards bowed their heads and Bhetu the bat-eared fox howled mournfully. Ahadi came out and kissed his mate, leading her back to a sanctuary of private grief. Zazu dismissed the crowd with a quick blessing, and they stalked quietly away, aware that something very bad had happened.
Mufasa left the peak, and headed back to the cave where he had spent his cubhood. "So I am a lion now."
"You are my lion now, " Sarabi answered. She came from the deep shadows to meet him. He gathered his nerve and put his paw paw on her left shoulder. She answered with a deep purr. It could only mean one thing.
Mufasa said "Before the gods, before the stars, before the assembled host I swear to give you my protection, my life, and my comfort forever."
She trembled and nuzzled him affectionately. "Till the last beat of my heart, to the last breath I sigh, our lives are one, so help me gods."
"Bless you, Sassie. I'll love you forever."
“Let us go someplace alone, ” Sarabi whispered.
“Right now?” Mufasa whispered back. “Are you sure you want this?”
“Yes.” She kissed him. “Once Taka needed me, but now he needs something I can’t give him. I hope he finds it.” She nuzzled him and added, “Let me be selfish, Muffy. Let me think of myself for once. Give me what I need. Love me. Let me feel your breath on my cheek.”
“Sassie, ” he whispered passionately. “To love you for a moment and then die, I would have no regrets.”
Mufasa nodded at his parents and Ahadi winked back. “Have fun, kids. There’s a nice walk to the mirror pool in the cleft of the rock. You could watch the fish swim.”
When Mufasa led his timid new wife out of the cave, Ahadi whispered to Akase, “Thank the Gods. Sarabi is a good lioness, and she has made the right decision. Taka is a good boy, and clever, but he is so immature. Besides, it’s just like Rafiki says--Muffy really loves her.”
“Did he tell you that too? He’s a meddlesome old ape, but he has a heart from the gods.” She shook her head. “I hate to agree with you, husband, but you are right about Taka.” She sighed. “Do you ever think we’ll see him again?
“Probably not while we’re alive, old girl. He’s proud, that one. Proud and stubborn.”
“Then go after him, ” Akase said.
“Go after him? Where? This is no antelope hunt. His tracks cover every square paw of the Pride Lands. I’m not a god, you know.”
“You don’t have to tell me that, ” she said in a feeble attempt at humor. “But if you don’t look for him, I will.”
“Akase! You must be careful! I can’t have you leaving the Pride Lands. I’ve already lost a son—must I lose his mother as well?”
“Then come with me.”
“I’m not sure it will do any good. But we owe him that much at least.”
Just then, Zazu came excitedly into the cave. "Good news, everyone! You'll never guess! " He bowed deeply. "Your Majesties, Taka is coming back! I've spotted him in the brush and he's headed this way! "
“That is good news for us, ” Ahadi said. “I only hope it will be good news for him.”
Sarabi and Elanna were wards of the queen, and were invited to sit with the royal family. It was especially a comfort for Sarabi to be next to Akase and smell the familiar smell of her milk mother.
“Zazu, ” Sarabi asked quietly, “Have you seen Taka?”
“I’m sorry. I’ve put out word all over, but I’m afraid he’s long gone.”
“Oh.” She bowed her head.
“Even Gopa the stork hasn’t seen him, and nothing escapes Gopa. But I can fly out past the boundary if you wish. After the ceremony of course.”
“It won’t be necessary.”
Akase motioned her over and nuzzled her affectionately. “You are such a comfort to me. You were his milk sister, and how many times as I nursed you I thought of you as my own little girl, as if I had carried you.”
“I felt it, ” Sarabi said, resting her head on Akase’s shoulder. “Tell me the truth--should I have gone with Taka?”
Akase purred. “No, my child. It is sad enough to lose a son without losing a daughter. And I feel you will be my daughter before the day is out.”
Mufasa got the nod from his father, and started out toward the end of the spur to meet the crowd. But first he paused by Sarabi and smiled to see how gentle she looked leaning on Akase. “My last cubhood thought will be of you, ” he said. “And the first thought as a lion will be of you. Sassie, would you rest your head on me some time?” She looked deep into his eyes and her chin trembled. “Muffy, ” she purred, “My beloved.”
Mufasa walked to the end of the promontory. A brief, dim memory came back to him. “Old Makedde, ” he thought. “Was I so small that he could hold me up?” He smiled, and looked over the crowd. It was good to be back where it had all started.
Zazu shouted, "Long live Prince Mufasa, son of King Ahadi! "
The crowd bowed and scraped. Zebras whinnied, elephants trumpeted, and antelopes stomped their hooves. It only stopped when Zazu spread his wings.
The King met his son at the tip of Pride Rock. "Let all within the sound of my voice know that my son is coming fast on the path of his forefathers. Look, he bears the sign."
Akase took Ahadi's place. "Look down o gods and bless my son who is now a lion." She shuddered visibly. "And bless my son Taka, wherever he is. Hear a mother’s prayer and have mercy on him."
A hush fell over the sward. The zebras looked at one another and the elephants shook their head. Akase stood on the tip of the Pride Rock with a certain dignity, but a deep sadness that bowed her head and stooped her shoulders. They waited for her to say something, anything. One of the zebra mares nuzzled her foal. The leopards bowed their heads and Bhetu the bat-eared fox howled mournfully. Ahadi came out and kissed his mate, leading her back to a sanctuary of private grief. Zazu dismissed the crowd with a quick blessing, and they stalked quietly away, aware that something very bad had happened.
Mufasa left the peak, and headed back to the cave where he had spent his cubhood. "So I am a lion now."
"You are my lion now, " Sarabi answered. She came from the deep shadows to meet him. He gathered his nerve and put his paw paw on her left shoulder. She answered with a deep purr. It could only mean one thing.
Mufasa said "Before the gods, before the stars, before the assembled host I swear to give you my protection, my life, and my comfort forever."
She trembled and nuzzled him affectionately. "Till the last beat of my heart, to the last breath I sigh, our lives are one, so help me gods."
"Bless you, Sassie. I'll love you forever."
“Let us go someplace alone, ” Sarabi whispered.
“Right now?” Mufasa whispered back. “Are you sure you want this?”
“Yes.” She kissed him. “Once Taka needed me, but now he needs something I can’t give him. I hope he finds it.” She nuzzled him and added, “Let me be selfish, Muffy. Let me think of myself for once. Give me what I need. Love me. Let me feel your breath on my cheek.”
“Sassie, ” he whispered passionately. “To love you for a moment and then die, I would have no regrets.”
Mufasa nodded at his parents and Ahadi winked back. “Have fun, kids. There’s a nice walk to the mirror pool in the cleft of the rock. You could watch the fish swim.”
When Mufasa led his timid new wife out of the cave, Ahadi whispered to Akase, “Thank the Gods. Sarabi is a good lioness, and she has made the right decision. Taka is a good boy, and clever, but he is so immature. Besides, it’s just like Rafiki says--Muffy really loves her.”
“Did he tell you that too? He’s a meddlesome old ape, but he has a heart from the gods.” She shook her head. “I hate to agree with you, husband, but you are right about Taka.” She sighed. “Do you ever think we’ll see him again?
“Probably not while we’re alive, old girl. He’s proud, that one. Proud and stubborn.”
“Then go after him, ” Akase said.
“Go after him? Where? This is no antelope hunt. His tracks cover every square paw of the Pride Lands. I’m not a god, you know.”
“You don’t have to tell me that, ” she said in a feeble attempt at humor. “But if you don’t look for him, I will.”
“Akase! You must be careful! I can’t have you leaving the Pride Lands. I’ve already lost a son—must I lose his mother as well?”
“Then come with me.”
“I’m not sure it will do any good. But we owe him that much at least.”
Just then, Zazu came excitedly into the cave. "Good news, everyone! You'll never guess! " He bowed deeply. "Your Majesties, Taka is coming back! I've spotted him in the brush and he's headed this way! "
“That is good news for us, ” Ahadi said. “I only hope it will be good news for him.”
SCENE: SARABI’S NEWS
Taka was devastated by his loss. It was too much for him to accept completely, and he constantly watched for opportunities to get Sarabi alone. Such chances were few, for Muffy fawned on her day and night, smitten with a love both deep and selfless. And Sarabi was not the passive subject of his advances. She nuzzled her mate for no obvious reason, played games of hide and go seek with passion at stake, and would lie against him with her head buried in the softness of his mane. When the lionesses would talk as they gathered for the hunt, her every other word was Muffy this and Muffy that. Their attraction was healthy and strong, and those who knew her said she would have the light in her eyes soon enough.
Once Sarabi enjoyed Taka’s company. Now she tried to avoid him. He had met her at the watering hole and begged her to come away with him. Once he’d waited for her to come back from the kill and put his paw on her left shoulder in front of the other lionesses. She was terrified that Muffy would overhear some of his remarks and try to satisfy the demands of honor. Taka misunderstood her warnings as concern for “their relationship, ” and began to block out the evidence of her strong attraction to Muffy. To him, she was trapped in a marriage she did not want, trying to protect her true love from the wrath of a jealous husband or outraged gods.
Sarabi tried to disenchant him from that fantasy. He only believed more strongly than ever in her love. A brave, fragile thing of beauty that would try to turn his affections to another rather than have him killed by his own brother. At first it was easy for Taka to cling to this story and make his rejection bearable. In a way, it made her more beautiful and desirable to him, and he suffered greatly over it.
Then one day her love for Muffy took tangible form inside her. She came to him that morning, nuzzled him, and called him “father, ” and with tears of joy he kissed her and called her “mother.” Ahadi and Akase were the next to know, but then she went to tell Taka she was with child. This was more of a duty she had to perform, and she took no joy in it.
He stared silently at the ground for a moment, then looked at her. “So you are with his child. Where has the time gone.”
“I hope you are glad for me.”
“I could be glad for us.” He reached out with his left paw and touched her shoulder.
“I wish you wouldn’t do that.” She backed up. “Muffy would use you for a throw rug. Besides, I’m expecting. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Taka, it’s over between us. Can’t you see that?”
“Because your child is forming inside you? Sassie, it could be our child. I love you so much, and I would love your cubs so much. I can’t just give up on you. No one has ever loved you the way I do. I cannot blame Muffy for wanting you. I couldn’t blame any lion for wanting you. But you loved me back. I waited for you, I prayed for you, I was prepared to turn my back on family and friends for you, even the gods themselves.”
She was shocked. “Don’t you fear the gods?”
“The gods?” Taka uttered a short, mocking laugh. “If there are any gods, they hate me. They have let this curse eat away at me and done nothing to stop it.” His eyes bored into hers. “You are my god now. You and the child inside you. I would worship you. I would bring you sacrifices. Sassie, look at me! ”
“Stop it! I’m not going anywhere with you. I love you like a brother—a spoiled little brother that has his good moments. I thought I could also learn to love your breath on my cheek, but it will not happen. Muffy is the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of as I fall asleep. When he touches me, I tremble. You never made me feel that way.”
His jaw clenched. “I don’t want to hear this.”
“You NEED to hear this! He and I are in love. I pitied you, and wanted to make you happy. But you are aggravating, dependent, selfish, and obnoxious, and those are some of your LESS irritating qualities. If I’d married you, that would not have changed. But thank the gods I narrowly escaped making the biggest mistake of my life.”
Taka took in a short gasp. The dream was shattered forever. He gaped at her, unable to speak for several seconds. “Well then, ” he said bitterly, “it seems I ran away at a very convenient time. I hope you two will be happy together.” He started away.
“Wait, Taka! I don’t know what made me say those awful things.”
“What awful things, Sarabi?” He gave her a withering glance. “I’m the one that loves you, you said. Taka, when you grow up, I want to marry you, you said. And that little crack about how I wouldn’t survive the wedding night. Well I almost didn’t.” She backed away a step as he stalked towards her. “While his breath perfumed your dainty little cheek as you so delicately put it, I was planning my own death.”
She put a paw to her mouth, horrified.
“You didn’t know why I ran away, did you Sassie. I ran away to blot you out forever. I thought you were worth a little plunge off a cliff. Now at least I know why I didn’t.” He nodded to himself. “Some higher power spared me so I could learn you weren’t worth it.”
She cuffed him across the face. “Get out! ”
He turned and walked off. Taka often went out alone, and no one in the pride knew where. He took a haunch from a zebra and headed off toward the elephant graveyard.
Fabana the hyena was waiting for him. She had a sense about these things.
“Fay, it’s good to see you again.”
“What is it this time, Scar?”
“She has the light in her eyes. His child.” He didn’t have to fill in more details, for she heard from him regularly.
The pups were older, and they recognized him. “What’cha got today, Uncle Scar?”
“Zebra. Do you like that, Banzai?”
“It’s my favorite! ”
“Food is his favorite diet, ” Fabana said, as the pups began to tug over favorite scraps. “There is good in you, Scar. You are a true son of Roh’kash.”
“Roh’kash?”
She looked surprised. “Didn’t your mother teach you about the Creator?”
“Oh, you mean Aiheu.”
She smiled indulgently. “Perhaps.”
“Tell me, Fay. Why do the gods let a foolish curse uttered by a shaman slowly eat away everything I cared for? I mean, doesn’t Aiheu—or Roh’kash—whatever—have power over an evil spirit? I find my one path to possible fame and glory blocked by a little furball—and just you wait, it will be male, for it seems the gods have turned their back on me.”
“Don’t say that in front of my pups, ” she said. “It is wicked to speak ill of the gods, even if you are a heathen.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. It just feels that way sometimes.”
“Perhaps you should pray about it. I think God hears all prayers, no matter the name.”
“And you think I haven’t? For about two moons, I was practically a shaman.” He raised an eyebrow. “Tell me, Fay. This Roh’kash of yours. Does he tell us to forgive our enemies, or does he give us power to conquer them?”
“What a foolish question! God is just. He will smite those who harm his children. You are made in his image, therefore if you would be just, you must destroy injustice.”
He smiled. “So that is it.” He pondered the enormity of that statement. “Poor fool that I am. All this time God has stood ready to help me, but I have turned away his gifts one by one! You must teach me more about Roh’kash--he could really be a friend of mine. And in the meanwhile I must stop reacting and start acting. Get me an audience with your leaders, my dear. If God is on our side, who will dare oppose us?”
Once Sarabi enjoyed Taka’s company. Now she tried to avoid him. He had met her at the watering hole and begged her to come away with him. Once he’d waited for her to come back from the kill and put his paw on her left shoulder in front of the other lionesses. She was terrified that Muffy would overhear some of his remarks and try to satisfy the demands of honor. Taka misunderstood her warnings as concern for “their relationship, ” and began to block out the evidence of her strong attraction to Muffy. To him, she was trapped in a marriage she did not want, trying to protect her true love from the wrath of a jealous husband or outraged gods.
Sarabi tried to disenchant him from that fantasy. He only believed more strongly than ever in her love. A brave, fragile thing of beauty that would try to turn his affections to another rather than have him killed by his own brother. At first it was easy for Taka to cling to this story and make his rejection bearable. In a way, it made her more beautiful and desirable to him, and he suffered greatly over it.
Then one day her love for Muffy took tangible form inside her. She came to him that morning, nuzzled him, and called him “father, ” and with tears of joy he kissed her and called her “mother.” Ahadi and Akase were the next to know, but then she went to tell Taka she was with child. This was more of a duty she had to perform, and she took no joy in it.
He stared silently at the ground for a moment, then looked at her. “So you are with his child. Where has the time gone.”
“I hope you are glad for me.”
“I could be glad for us.” He reached out with his left paw and touched her shoulder.
“I wish you wouldn’t do that.” She backed up. “Muffy would use you for a throw rug. Besides, I’m expecting. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Taka, it’s over between us. Can’t you see that?”
“Because your child is forming inside you? Sassie, it could be our child. I love you so much, and I would love your cubs so much. I can’t just give up on you. No one has ever loved you the way I do. I cannot blame Muffy for wanting you. I couldn’t blame any lion for wanting you. But you loved me back. I waited for you, I prayed for you, I was prepared to turn my back on family and friends for you, even the gods themselves.”
She was shocked. “Don’t you fear the gods?”
“The gods?” Taka uttered a short, mocking laugh. “If there are any gods, they hate me. They have let this curse eat away at me and done nothing to stop it.” His eyes bored into hers. “You are my god now. You and the child inside you. I would worship you. I would bring you sacrifices. Sassie, look at me! ”
“Stop it! I’m not going anywhere with you. I love you like a brother—a spoiled little brother that has his good moments. I thought I could also learn to love your breath on my cheek, but it will not happen. Muffy is the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of as I fall asleep. When he touches me, I tremble. You never made me feel that way.”
His jaw clenched. “I don’t want to hear this.”
“You NEED to hear this! He and I are in love. I pitied you, and wanted to make you happy. But you are aggravating, dependent, selfish, and obnoxious, and those are some of your LESS irritating qualities. If I’d married you, that would not have changed. But thank the gods I narrowly escaped making the biggest mistake of my life.”
Taka took in a short gasp. The dream was shattered forever. He gaped at her, unable to speak for several seconds. “Well then, ” he said bitterly, “it seems I ran away at a very convenient time. I hope you two will be happy together.” He started away.
“Wait, Taka! I don’t know what made me say those awful things.”
“What awful things, Sarabi?” He gave her a withering glance. “I’m the one that loves you, you said. Taka, when you grow up, I want to marry you, you said. And that little crack about how I wouldn’t survive the wedding night. Well I almost didn’t.” She backed away a step as he stalked towards her. “While his breath perfumed your dainty little cheek as you so delicately put it, I was planning my own death.”
She put a paw to her mouth, horrified.
“You didn’t know why I ran away, did you Sassie. I ran away to blot you out forever. I thought you were worth a little plunge off a cliff. Now at least I know why I didn’t.” He nodded to himself. “Some higher power spared me so I could learn you weren’t worth it.”
She cuffed him across the face. “Get out! ”
He turned and walked off. Taka often went out alone, and no one in the pride knew where. He took a haunch from a zebra and headed off toward the elephant graveyard.
Fabana the hyena was waiting for him. She had a sense about these things.
“Fay, it’s good to see you again.”
“What is it this time, Scar?”
“She has the light in her eyes. His child.” He didn’t have to fill in more details, for she heard from him regularly.
The pups were older, and they recognized him. “What’cha got today, Uncle Scar?”
“Zebra. Do you like that, Banzai?”
“It’s my favorite! ”
“Food is his favorite diet, ” Fabana said, as the pups began to tug over favorite scraps. “There is good in you, Scar. You are a true son of Roh’kash.”
“Roh’kash?”
She looked surprised. “Didn’t your mother teach you about the Creator?”
“Oh, you mean Aiheu.”
She smiled indulgently. “Perhaps.”
“Tell me, Fay. Why do the gods let a foolish curse uttered by a shaman slowly eat away everything I cared for? I mean, doesn’t Aiheu—or Roh’kash—whatever—have power over an evil spirit? I find my one path to possible fame and glory blocked by a little furball—and just you wait, it will be male, for it seems the gods have turned their back on me.”
“Don’t say that in front of my pups, ” she said. “It is wicked to speak ill of the gods, even if you are a heathen.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. It just feels that way sometimes.”
“Perhaps you should pray about it. I think God hears all prayers, no matter the name.”
“And you think I haven’t? For about two moons, I was practically a shaman.” He raised an eyebrow. “Tell me, Fay. This Roh’kash of yours. Does he tell us to forgive our enemies, or does he give us power to conquer them?”
“What a foolish question! God is just. He will smite those who harm his children. You are made in his image, therefore if you would be just, you must destroy injustice.”
He smiled. “So that is it.” He pondered the enormity of that statement. “Poor fool that I am. All this time God has stood ready to help me, but I have turned away his gifts one by one! You must teach me more about Roh’kash--he could really be a friend of mine. And in the meanwhile I must stop reacting and start acting. Get me an audience with your leaders, my dear. If God is on our side, who will dare oppose us?”
SCENE: THE ULTIMATUM
For a while, Taka stopped his self-pitying behavior. Ironically, it was not a welcome change, for Taka’s helplessness was his one endearing quality to most of the lionesses. With his secret new faith, he needed no pity, nor did he inspire it. He swaggered about aggressively, the most devout believer in his own great destiny.
Mufasa carried himself with a certain dignity. He never begged nor pleaded, yet he got everything he wanted. Perhaps that is what Sarabi liked in him. Perhaps she liked a firm paw and a touch of mischief.
Taka went to the cistern in Pride Rock where the rain would collect in pools. He sought to satisfy at least one of his thirsts before the day was over. The small fish seemed to taunt him, swimming about slowly as he looked down into the crystal recesses of the stone. His steady lapping set up rings that spread across the surface, breaking up his reflection. Still, he could see another tawny feature coming up beside him. Even before he looked up, he knew his timing was excellent.
“The water is fresh as a spring rain, Sarabi.”
“Taka, it’s you.”
He looked up and smiled warmly. “Aren’t you looking beautiful today.”
“Well, uh, thank you.”
He looked back down and resumed drinking. She joined him in a moment when it was obvious he was not about to leave. From time to time he looked over at her, then he finally stopped drinking and wiped his muzzle with a large paw. “I was just thinking about the old times. You were always so protective of me. It used to make Muffy so angry when you’d fawn over me. I didn’t know how fond he was of you. If I had, I wouldn’t have taken you for granted. I would have been better to you.”
“Well that’s in the past now.”
“Is it?” He smiled disarmingly. “I still make you feel uncomfortable. I miss having you look in my eyes without feeling like something bad is going to happen. You have beautiful eyes. God, how I miss them.” He cast his glance away. “Now we almost never talk, and you’d always rather be someplace else doing anything else. Sassie, I miss you. You are my milk sister. I’d just want to know that you still like me.”
“Of course I still like you. If you’d behave yourself, I wouldn’t be afraid to show it.”
“Afraid??” Taka caught himself, laughed self-consciously, and said, “Why my dear Sassie, there is not a lion worthy of the name that could look at you and not feel his heart race a little. That’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s just that your eyes are fresh flowers wet with morning dew. When I see them, they make me happy. I love the way you look, the way you smell, the way you move. Who doesn’t?”
“You’re very sweet, Taka, ” she said guardedly. “But there are other lionesses in this Pride that are equally pretty. You should meet one. You should get to know her well. I want you to be happy the way Muffy and I are happy. I really do.”
“There are other lionesses, ” Taka said softly. “Someone may think they are as pretty as you, but Sassie, not one of them has ever cried when I was hurt. Not one of them ever showed me kindness. Not one of them came to me in my dreams. It was only you, always you. Muffy has been a good brother and you have been a good friend. But gods, every time he makes love to you, I want to die. I just want to die! ” He bit his lip so hard that a small drop of blood stained his fur.
“Taka! ” she said firmly. “Get a grip on yourself! When you find yourself a lioness, we can be friends. Friends, Taka, the way we were as cubs. When you act like this, you frighten me. I don’t trust you. If you want a lioness to love you, you have to love her and make her feel special. Find someone that needs to feel special, and fill that need.”
“You just don’t get it, do you?” Taka stalked away. “I can’t get you out of my head. Sassie, you’re killing me from the inside.”
He settled into the shadow of a kopje to find respite from the sun, and he started to stretch out for a nap. Then another lion passed by. It was Ahadi.
“Walk with me, son.”
Ahadi headed slowly, silently up the winding trail that led to the promontory on Pride Rock. Instead of going into the cave, he headed up the finger of stone and at its peak sat in regal silence. Taka reached him shortly and sat next to his father.
“Lay your head on my mane, ” Ahadi purred.
Reluctantly, Taka did so. “Why did you want to see me?”
“I’m your father. Do I need a reason?”
Apparently he did not, for they sat together for a long while as the faint breeze stirred their manes together. A few soft clouds sailed by on an azure sea, and borne up on silent wings, a fish eagle lofted by majestically, undisputed lord of the air. For a few moments, two kings in their own right saw each other; the eagle dipped his wing, and Ahadi waved his paw. Taka began to relax as his tensions slowly ebbed away on the wind. He could hear his father’s steady pulse under the deep mantle of soft fur, and feel his sleek ribs rise and fall with the tides of his breath. It was a safe and comfortable feeling that stirred sleeping memories from the shadows of his mind.
“Once I said that you could tell me anything when you were good and ready.” Ahadi nuzzled Taka gently. “I have grown weary of waiting, son. You are troubled, trapped by your own feelings. You need to confide in me.”
“I’m fine. Really I am.”
“It must be terrible to suffer as you have suffered for Sarabi.”
“But father, I’m not suffering for Sarabi.”
“You’re not?” Ahadi sighed. “Muffy used to twitch his tail when he lied. You always wrinkle your nose. A father knows these things. Now I ask you, do I sound angry?”
“No, sir.”
“But I do sound worried, don’t I?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I am very worried. Your mother and I want you to be happy. We also want Muffy to be happy. It’s getting harder to wish you both what you want, when all you want is what Muffy has.” Ahadi took his large paw and gave Taka a pat. “He loves you, son. He’s your brother. I’m happy for him, and I want you to be happy for him. And what’s more, I want him to be happy for you. Do you know what I’m trying to say?”
“I think so.”
“Son, I love you. You were always so wise and sensitive. Whomever you marry will be fortunate. She will treasure every moment with you, my son. You think about romance and dream about it, but these are only shadows. Step into the light. Sarabi has talked with your mother and I, and we know all about what you’ve been up to.”
Taka stiffened. “Oh my gods.”
“Don’t worry. She hasn’t breathed a word to Muffy and neither shall we. She didn’t want to hurt you. In fact, she’s very sad about the whole situation, and she feels guilty about disappointing you. Akase and I are both convinced you should find yourself another lioness as quickly as possible.”
“But I don’t want another lioness. She’s all I ever wanted. She was my kingdom. Muffy had one, but he had to take mine too.” He began to cry. “She loved me, Dad. She said so.”
Ahadi sighed and touched his cheek with his tongue. “It will be easier on you at your age if you have an outlet for all these strong, new feelings. I understand how you want Sarabi, but son, you cannot have her. Grieve for your loss--go have a good cry over it, then go on with your life. Elanna has had her eye on you for quite a while. If you would just open your eyes, you’d know that. And you might want to talk with Rafiki and see what the spirits have to say--and don’t tell me how he has it in for you, I don’t want to hear it.” He turned to face Taka eye to eye. “I’m going to give you three moons—a whole season. You have that long to become serious with someone else.”
“Or?”
“If you don’t, I’ll have to do something to protect Muffy and Sassie from constant harassment. You’ll get a commoner’s mantlement and I’ll send you off into The Big World.”
“Father! ”
“I mean it, too. It would hurt your mother and I, but we have others to think of besides ourselves. Muffy is a good lion, and he will be your King someday. He has a right to expect loyalty from his own brother. If you can’t give it, you must go out in The Big World, where you’ll either be responsible or be carrion. Taka, you’re not a cub anymore.”
Mufasa carried himself with a certain dignity. He never begged nor pleaded, yet he got everything he wanted. Perhaps that is what Sarabi liked in him. Perhaps she liked a firm paw and a touch of mischief.
Taka went to the cistern in Pride Rock where the rain would collect in pools. He sought to satisfy at least one of his thirsts before the day was over. The small fish seemed to taunt him, swimming about slowly as he looked down into the crystal recesses of the stone. His steady lapping set up rings that spread across the surface, breaking up his reflection. Still, he could see another tawny feature coming up beside him. Even before he looked up, he knew his timing was excellent.
“The water is fresh as a spring rain, Sarabi.”
“Taka, it’s you.”
He looked up and smiled warmly. “Aren’t you looking beautiful today.”
“Well, uh, thank you.”
He looked back down and resumed drinking. She joined him in a moment when it was obvious he was not about to leave. From time to time he looked over at her, then he finally stopped drinking and wiped his muzzle with a large paw. “I was just thinking about the old times. You were always so protective of me. It used to make Muffy so angry when you’d fawn over me. I didn’t know how fond he was of you. If I had, I wouldn’t have taken you for granted. I would have been better to you.”
“Well that’s in the past now.”
“Is it?” He smiled disarmingly. “I still make you feel uncomfortable. I miss having you look in my eyes without feeling like something bad is going to happen. You have beautiful eyes. God, how I miss them.” He cast his glance away. “Now we almost never talk, and you’d always rather be someplace else doing anything else. Sassie, I miss you. You are my milk sister. I’d just want to know that you still like me.”
“Of course I still like you. If you’d behave yourself, I wouldn’t be afraid to show it.”
“Afraid??” Taka caught himself, laughed self-consciously, and said, “Why my dear Sassie, there is not a lion worthy of the name that could look at you and not feel his heart race a little. That’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s just that your eyes are fresh flowers wet with morning dew. When I see them, they make me happy. I love the way you look, the way you smell, the way you move. Who doesn’t?”
“You’re very sweet, Taka, ” she said guardedly. “But there are other lionesses in this Pride that are equally pretty. You should meet one. You should get to know her well. I want you to be happy the way Muffy and I are happy. I really do.”
“There are other lionesses, ” Taka said softly. “Someone may think they are as pretty as you, but Sassie, not one of them has ever cried when I was hurt. Not one of them ever showed me kindness. Not one of them came to me in my dreams. It was only you, always you. Muffy has been a good brother and you have been a good friend. But gods, every time he makes love to you, I want to die. I just want to die! ” He bit his lip so hard that a small drop of blood stained his fur.
“Taka! ” she said firmly. “Get a grip on yourself! When you find yourself a lioness, we can be friends. Friends, Taka, the way we were as cubs. When you act like this, you frighten me. I don’t trust you. If you want a lioness to love you, you have to love her and make her feel special. Find someone that needs to feel special, and fill that need.”
“You just don’t get it, do you?” Taka stalked away. “I can’t get you out of my head. Sassie, you’re killing me from the inside.”
He settled into the shadow of a kopje to find respite from the sun, and he started to stretch out for a nap. Then another lion passed by. It was Ahadi.
“Walk with me, son.”
Ahadi headed slowly, silently up the winding trail that led to the promontory on Pride Rock. Instead of going into the cave, he headed up the finger of stone and at its peak sat in regal silence. Taka reached him shortly and sat next to his father.
“Lay your head on my mane, ” Ahadi purred.
Reluctantly, Taka did so. “Why did you want to see me?”
“I’m your father. Do I need a reason?”
Apparently he did not, for they sat together for a long while as the faint breeze stirred their manes together. A few soft clouds sailed by on an azure sea, and borne up on silent wings, a fish eagle lofted by majestically, undisputed lord of the air. For a few moments, two kings in their own right saw each other; the eagle dipped his wing, and Ahadi waved his paw. Taka began to relax as his tensions slowly ebbed away on the wind. He could hear his father’s steady pulse under the deep mantle of soft fur, and feel his sleek ribs rise and fall with the tides of his breath. It was a safe and comfortable feeling that stirred sleeping memories from the shadows of his mind.
“Once I said that you could tell me anything when you were good and ready.” Ahadi nuzzled Taka gently. “I have grown weary of waiting, son. You are troubled, trapped by your own feelings. You need to confide in me.”
“I’m fine. Really I am.”
“It must be terrible to suffer as you have suffered for Sarabi.”
“But father, I’m not suffering for Sarabi.”
“You’re not?” Ahadi sighed. “Muffy used to twitch his tail when he lied. You always wrinkle your nose. A father knows these things. Now I ask you, do I sound angry?”
“No, sir.”
“But I do sound worried, don’t I?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I am very worried. Your mother and I want you to be happy. We also want Muffy to be happy. It’s getting harder to wish you both what you want, when all you want is what Muffy has.” Ahadi took his large paw and gave Taka a pat. “He loves you, son. He’s your brother. I’m happy for him, and I want you to be happy for him. And what’s more, I want him to be happy for you. Do you know what I’m trying to say?”
“I think so.”
“Son, I love you. You were always so wise and sensitive. Whomever you marry will be fortunate. She will treasure every moment with you, my son. You think about romance and dream about it, but these are only shadows. Step into the light. Sarabi has talked with your mother and I, and we know all about what you’ve been up to.”
Taka stiffened. “Oh my gods.”
“Don’t worry. She hasn’t breathed a word to Muffy and neither shall we. She didn’t want to hurt you. In fact, she’s very sad about the whole situation, and she feels guilty about disappointing you. Akase and I are both convinced you should find yourself another lioness as quickly as possible.”
“But I don’t want another lioness. She’s all I ever wanted. She was my kingdom. Muffy had one, but he had to take mine too.” He began to cry. “She loved me, Dad. She said so.”
Ahadi sighed and touched his cheek with his tongue. “It will be easier on you at your age if you have an outlet for all these strong, new feelings. I understand how you want Sarabi, but son, you cannot have her. Grieve for your loss--go have a good cry over it, then go on with your life. Elanna has had her eye on you for quite a while. If you would just open your eyes, you’d know that. And you might want to talk with Rafiki and see what the spirits have to say--and don’t tell me how he has it in for you, I don’t want to hear it.” He turned to face Taka eye to eye. “I’m going to give you three moons—a whole season. You have that long to become serious with someone else.”
“Or?”
“If you don’t, I’ll have to do something to protect Muffy and Sassie from constant harassment. You’ll get a commoner’s mantlement and I’ll send you off into The Big World.”
“Father! ”
“I mean it, too. It would hurt your mother and I, but we have others to think of besides ourselves. Muffy is a good lion, and he will be your King someday. He has a right to expect loyalty from his own brother. If you can’t give it, you must go out in The Big World, where you’ll either be responsible or be carrion. Taka, you’re not a cub anymore.”
SCENE: THE ILLNESS
A week had passed. For Taka it was an awkward time, frought with frustration and embarrasment. He began to talk to different lionesses, but he found discouragement at every corner. Oddly enough, he avoided Elanna, despite what his father had said. Elanna was Sarabi’s sister, and those sisters shared everything.
He felt uncomfortable around his parents because of what he thought they had been discussing behind his back. But while his mother acted perfectly normal, his father had acted really strange, not just with him but with everyone. Taka began to wonder if Ahadi had other problems. Indeed, some of the lionesses came to him wanting to know what was wrong with the King.
Ahadi was cranky and prone to disagreement. Akase made excuses for him, saying he was just “under the weather.” She urged him to see Rafiki, but he just dismissed her concerns as a lot of “foolish nonsense, ” and asked her to be a “good little thing.”
Taka was too preoccupied to really notice his father’s health. He had padded quietly into the small grassy patch by the southern face of Pride Rock when he saw Muffy lying on his back next to Sarabi. They had not spotted him, so he froze and listened.
He felt uncomfortable around his parents because of what he thought they had been discussing behind his back. But while his mother acted perfectly normal, his father had acted really strange, not just with him but with everyone. Taka began to wonder if Ahadi had other problems. Indeed, some of the lionesses came to him wanting to know what was wrong with the King.
Ahadi was cranky and prone to disagreement. Akase made excuses for him, saying he was just “under the weather.” She urged him to see Rafiki, but he just dismissed her concerns as a lot of “foolish nonsense, ” and asked her to be a “good little thing.”
Taka was too preoccupied to really notice his father’s health. He had padded quietly into the small grassy patch by the southern face of Pride Rock when he saw Muffy lying on his back next to Sarabi. They had not spotted him, so he froze and listened.