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noticed at once even before he was introduced when I was in the D B C with
Poldy laughing and trying to listen I was waggling my foot we both ordered 2
teas and plain bread and butter I saw him looking with his two old maids of
sisters when I stood up and asked the girl where it was what do I care with
it dropping out of me and that black closed breeches he made me buy takes
you half an hour to let them down wetting all myself always with some
brandnew fad every other week such a long one I did I forgot my suede gloves
on the seat behind that I never got after some robber of a woman and he
wanted me to put it in the Irish Times lost in the ladies lavatory D B C
Dame street finder return to Mrs Marion Bloom and I saw his eyes on my feet
going out through the turning door he was looking when I looked back and I
went there for tea 2 days after in the hope but he wasnt now how did that
excite him because I was crossing them when we were in the other room first
he meant the shoes that are too tight to walk in my hand is nice like that
if I only had a ring with the stone for my month a nice aquamarine Ill stick
him for one and a gold bracelet I dont like my foot so much still I made him
spend once with my foot the night after Goodwins botchup of a concert so
cold and windy it was well we had that rum in the house to mull and the fire
wasnt black out when he asked to take off my stockings lying on the
hearthrug in Lombard street well and another time it was my muddy boots hed
like me to walk in all the horses dung I could find but of course hes not
natural like the rest of the world that I what did he say I could give 9
points in 10 to Katty Lanner and beat her what does that mean I asked him I
forget what he said because the stoppress edition just passed and the man
with the curly hair in the Lucan dairy thats so polite I think I saw his
face before somewhere I noticed him when I was tasting the butter so I took
my time Bartell dArcy too that he used to make fun of when he commenced
kissing me on the choir stairs after I sang Gounods Ave Maria what are we
waiting for O my heart kiss me straight on the brow and part which is my
brown part he was pretty hot for all his tinny voice too my low notes he was
always raving about if you can believe him I liked the way he used his mouth
singing then he said wasnt it terrible to do that there in a place like that
I dont see anything so terrible about it Ill tell him about that some day
not now and surprise him ay and Ill take him there and show him the very
place too we did it so now there you are like it or lump it he thinks
nothing can happen without him knowing he hadnt an idea about my mother till
we were engaged otherwise hed never have got me so cheap as he did he was 10
times worse himself anyhow begging me to give him a tiny bit cut off my
drawers that was the evening coming along Kenilworth square he kissed me in
the eye of my glove and I had to take it off asking me questions is it
permitted to inquire the shape of my bedroom so I let him keep it as if I
forgot it to think of me when I saw him slip it into his pocket of course
hes mad on the subject of drawers thats plain to be seen always skeezing at
those brazenfaced things on the bicycles with their skirts blowing up to
their navels even when Milly and I were out with him at the open air fete
that one in the cream muslin standing right against the sun so he could see
every atom she had on when he saw me from behind following in the rain I saw
him before he saw me however standing at the corner of the Harolds cross
road with a new raincoat on him with the muffler in the Zingari colours to
show off his complexion-and the brown hat looking slyboots as usual what was
he doing there where hed no business they can go and get whatever they like
from anything at all with a skirt on it and were not to ask any questions
but they want to know where were you where are you going I could feel him
coming along skulking after me his eyes on my neck he had been keeping away
from the house he felt it was getting too warm for him so I half turned and
stopped then he pestered me to say yes till I took off my glove slowly
watching him he said my openwork sleeves were too cold for the rain anything
for an excuse to put his hand anear me drawers drawers the whole blessed
time till I promised to give him the pair off my doll to carry about in his
waistcoat pocket O Maria santissima he did look a big fool dreeping in the
rain splendid set of teeth he had made me hungry to look at them and
beseeched of me to lift the orange petticoat I had on with sunray pleats
that there was nobody he Said hed kneel down in the wet if I didnt so
persevering he would too and ruin his new raincoat you never know what freak
theyd take alone with you theyre so savage for it if anyone was passing so I
lifted them a bit and touched his trousers outside the way I used to Gardner
after with my ring hand to keep him from doing worse where it was too public
I was dying to find out was he circumcised he was shaking like a jelly all
over they want to do everything too quick take all the pleasure out if it
and father waiting all the time for his dinner he told me to say I left my
purse in the butchers and had to go back for it what a Deceiver then he
wrote me that letter with all those words in it how could he have the face
to any woman after his company manners making it so awkward after when we
met asking me have I offended you with my eyelids down of course he saw I
wasnt he had a few brains not like that other fool Henry Doyle he was always
breaking or tearing something in the charades I hate an unlucky man and if I
knew what it meant of course I had to say no for form sake dont understand
you I said and wasnt it natural so it is of course it used to be written up
with a picture of a womans on that wall in Gibraltar with that word I
couldnt find anywhere only for children seeing it too young then writing a
letter every morning sometimes twice a day I liked the way he made love then
he knew the way to take a woman when he sent me the 8 big poppies because
mine was the 8th then I wrote the night he kissed my heart at Dolphins barn
I couldnt describe it simply it makes you feel like nothing on earth but he
never knew how to embrace well like Gardner I hope hell come on Monday as he
said at the same time four I hate people who come at all hours answer the
door you think its the vegetables then its somebody and you all undressed or
the door of the filthy sloppy kitchen blows open the day old frostyface
Goodwin called about the concert in Lombard street and I just after dinner
all flushed and tossed with boiling old stew dont look at me professor I had
to say Im a fright yes but he was a real old gent in his way it was
impossible to be more respectful nobody to say youre out you have to peep
out through the blind like the messengerboy today I thought it was a putoff
first him sending the port and the peaches first and I was just beginning to
yawn with nerves thinking he was trying to make a fool of me when I knew his
tattarrattat at the door he must have been a bit late because it was 1/4
after 3 when I saw the 2 Dedalus girls coming from school I never know the
time even that watch he gave me never seems to go properly Id want to get it
looked after when I threw the penny to that lame sailor for England home and
beauty when I was whistling there is a charming girl I love and I hadnt even
put on my clean shift or powdered myself or a thing then this day week were
to go to Belfast just as well he has to go to Ennis his fathers anniversary
the 27th it wouldnt be pleasant if he did suppose our rooms at the hotel
were beside each other and any fooling went on in the new bed I couldnt tell
him to stop and not bother me with him in the next room or perhaps some
protestant clergyman with a cough knocking on the wall then he wouldnt
believe next day we didnt do something its all very well a husband but you
cant fool a lover after me telling him we never did anything of course he
didnt believe me no its better hes going where he is besides something
always happens with him the time going to the Mallow Concert at Maryborough
ordering boiling soup for the two of us then the bell rang out he walks down
the platform with the soup splashing about taking spoonfuls of it hadnt he
the nerve and the waiter after him making a holy show of us screeching and
confusion for the engine to start but he wouldnt pay till he finished it the
two gentlemen in the 3rd class Carriage said he was quite right so he was
too hes so pigheaded sometimes when he gets a thing into his head a good job
he was able to open the carriage door with his knife or theyd have taken us
on to Cork I suppose that was done out of revenge on him O I love jaunting
in a train or a car with lovely soft cushions I wonder will he take a 1st
class for me he might want to do it in the train by tipping the guard well O
I suppose therell be the usual idiots of men gaping at us with their eyes as
stupid as ever they can possibly be that was an exceptional man that common
workman that left us alone in the carriage that day going to Howth Id like
to find out something about him 1 or 2 tunnels perhaps then you have to look
out of the window all the nicer then coming back suppose I never came back
what would they say eloped with him that gets you on on the stage the last
concert I sang at where its over a year ago when was it St Teresas hall
Clarendon St little chits of missies they have now singing Kathleen Kearney
and her like on account of father being in the army and my singing the
absentminded beggar and wearing a brooch for lord Roberts when I had the map
of it all and Poldy not Irish enough was it him managed it this time I
wouldnt put it past him like he got me on to sing in the Stabat Mater by
going around saying he was putting Lead Kindly Light to music I put him up
to that till the jesuits found out he was a freemason thumping the piano
lead Thou me on copied from some old opera yes and he was going about with
some of them Sinner Fein lately or whatever they call themselves talking his
usual trash and nonsense he says that little man he showed me without the
neck is very intelligent the coming man Griffith is he well he doesnt look
it thats all I can say still it must have been him he knew there was a
boycott I hate the mention of politics after the war that Pretoria and
Ladysmith and Bloemfontein where Gardner Lieut Stanley G 8th Bn 2nd East
Lancs Rgt of enteric fever he was a lovely fellow in khaki and just the
right height over me Im sure he was brave too he said I was lovely the
evening we kissed goodbye at the canal lock my Irish beauty he was pale with
excitement about going away or wed be seen from the road he couldnt stand
properly and I so hot as I never felt they could have made their peace in
the beginning or old oom Paul and the rest of the old Krugers go and fight
it out between them instead of dragging on for years killing any finelooking
men there were with their fever if he was even decently shot it wouldnt have
been so bad I love to see a regiment pass in review the first time I saw the
Spanish cavalry at La Roque it was lovely after looking across the bay from
Algeciras all the lights of the rock like fireflies or those sham battles on
the 15 acres the Black Watch with their kilts in time at the march past the
10th hussars the prince of Wales own or the lancers O the lancers theyre
grand or the Dublins that won Tugela his father made his money over selling
the horses for the cavalry well he could buy me a nice present up in Belfast
after what I gave theyve lovely linen up there or one of those nice kimono
things I must buy a mothball like I had before to keep in the drawer with
them it would be exciting going around with him shopping buying those things
in a new city better leave this ring behind want to keep turning and turning
to get it over the knuckle there or they might bell it round the town in
their papers or tell the police on me but theyd think were married O let
them all go and smother themselves for the fat lot I care he has plenty of
money and hes not a marrying man so somebody better get it out of him if I
could find out whether he likes me I looked a bit washy of course when I
looked close in the handglass powdering a mirror never gives you the
expression besides scrooching down on me like that all the time with his big
hipbones hes heavy too with his hairy chest for this heat always having to
lie down for them better for him put it into me from behind the way Mrs
Mastiansky told me her husband made her like the dogs do it and stick out
her tongue as far as ever she could and he so quiet and mild with his
tingating either can you ever be up to men the way it takes them lovely
stuff in that blue suit he had on and stylish tie and socks with the skyblue
silk things on them hes certainly welloff I know by the cut his clothes have
and his heavy watch but he was like a perfect devil for a few minutes after
he came back with the stop press tearing up the tickets and swearing blazes
because he lost 20 quid he said he lost over that outsider that won and half
he put on for me on account of Lenehans tip cursing him to the lowest pits
that sponger he was making free with me after the Glencree dinner coming
back that long joult over the featherbed mountain after the lord Mayor
looking at me with his dirty eyes Val Dillon that big heathen I first
noticed him at dessert when I was cracking the nuts with my teeth I wished I
could have picked every morsel of that chicken out of my fingers it was so
tasty and browned and as tender as anything only for I didnt want to eat
everything on my plate those forks and fishslicers were hallmarked silver
too I wish I had some I could easily have slipped a couple into my muff when
I was playing with them then always hanging out of them for money in a
restaurant for the bit you put down your throat we have to be thankful for
our mangy cup of tea itself as a great compliment to be noticed the way the
world is divided in any case if its going to go on I want at least two other
good chemises for one thing and but I dont know what kind of drawers he
likes none at all I think didnt he say yes and half the girls in Gibraltar
never wore them either naked as God made them that Andalusian singing her
Manola she didnt make much secret of what she hadnt yes and the second pair
of silkette stockings is laddered after one days wear I could have brought
them back to Lewers this morning and kick up a row and made that one change
them only not to upset myself and run the risk of walking into him and
ruining the whole thing and one of those kidfitting corsets Id want
advertised cheap in the Gentlewoman with elastic gores on the hips he saved
the one I have but thats no good what did they say they give a delightful
figure line 11/6 obviating that unsightly broad appearance across the lower
back to reduce flesh my belly is a bit too big Ill have to knock off the
stout at dinner or am I getting too fond of it the last they sent from
ORourkes was as flat as a pancake he makes his money easy Larry they call
him the old mangy parcel he sent at Xmas a cottage cake and a bottle of
hogwash he tried to palm off as claret that he couldnt get anyone to drink
God spare his spit for fear hed die of the drouth or I must do a few
breathing exercises I wonder is that antifat any good might overdo it thin
ones are not so much the fashion now garters that much I have the violet
pair I wore today thats all he bought me out of the cheque he got on the
first O no there was the face lotion I finished the last of yesterday that
made my skin like new I told him over and over again get that made up in the
same place and dont forget it God only knows whether he did after all I said
to him Ill know by the bottle anyway if not I suppose Ill only have to wash
in my piss like beeftea or chickensoup with some of that opoponax and violet
I thought it was beginning to look coarse or old a bit the skin underneath
is much finer where it peeled off there on my finger after the burn its a
pity it isnt all like that and the four paltry handkerchiefs about 6/- in
all sure you cant get on in this world without style all going in food and
rent when I get it Ill lash it around I tell you in fine style I always want
to throw a handful of tea into the pot measuring and mincing if I buy a pair
of old brogues itself do you like those new shoes yes how much were they Ive
no clothes at all the brown costume and the skirt and jacket and the one at
the cleaners 3 whats that for any woman cutting up this old hat and patching
up the other the men wont look at you and women try to walk on you because
they know youve no man then with all the things getting dearer every day for
the 4 years more I have of life up to 35 no Im what am I at all Ill be 33 in
September will I what O well look at that Mrs Galbraith shes much older than
me I saw her when I was out last week her beautys on the wane she was a
lovely woman magnificent head of hair on her down to her waist tossing it
back like that like Kitty OShea in Grantham street 1st thing I did every
morning to look across see her combing it as if she loved it and was full of
it pity I only got to know her the day before we left and that Mrs Langtry
the Jersey Lily the prince of Wales was in love with I suppose hes like the
first man going the roads only for the name of a king theyre all made the
one way only a black mans Id like to try a beauty up to what was she 45
there was some funny story about the jealous old husband what was it all and
an oyster knife he went no he made her wear a kind of a tin thing around her
and the prince of Wales yes he had the oyster knife cant be true a thing
like that like some of those books he brings me the works of Master Francois
somebody supposed to be a priest about a child born out of her ear because
her bumgut fell out a nice word for any priest to write and her a-e as if
any fool wouldnt know what that meant I hate that pretending of all things
with the old blackguards face on him anybody can see its not true and that
Ruby and Fair Tyrants he brought me that twice I remember when I came to
page 50 the part about where she hangs him up out of a hook with a cord
flagellate sure theres nothing for a woman in that all invention made up
about he drinking the champagne out of her slipper after the ball was over
like the infant Jesus In the crib at Inchicore in the Blessed Virgins arms
sure no woman could have a child that big taken out of her and I thought
first it came out of her side because how could she go to the chamber when
she wanted to and she a rich lady of course she felt honoured H. R. H. he
was in Gibraltar the year I gas born I bet he found lilies there too where
he planted the tree he planted more than that in his time he might have
planted me too if hed come a bit sooner then I wouldnt be here as I am he
ought to chuck that Freeman with the paltry few shillings he knocks out of
it and go into an office or something where hed get regular pay or a bank
where they could put him up on a throne to count the money all the day of
course he prefers plottering about the house so you cant stir with him any
side whats your programme today I wish hed even smoke a pipe like father to
get the smell of a man or pretending to be mooching about for advertisements
when he could have been in Mr Cuffes still only for what he did then sending
me to try and patch it up I could have got him promoted there to be the
manager he gave me a great mirada once or twice first he was as stiff as the
mischief really and truly Mrs Bloom only I felt rotten simply with the old
rubbishy dress that I lost the leads out of the tails with no cut in it but
theyre coming into fashion again I bought it simply to please him I knew it
was no good by the finish pity I changed my mind of going to Todd and Burns
as I said and not Lees it was just like the shop itself rummage sale a lot
of trash I hate those rich shops get on your nerves nothing kills me
altogether only he thinks he knows a great lot about a womans dress and
cooking mathering everything he can scour off the shelves into it if I went
by his advices every blessed hat I put on does that suit me yes take that
thats alright the one like a wedding cake standing up miles off my head he
said suited me or the dishcover one coming down on my backside on pins and
needles about the shop girl in that place in Grafton street I had the
misfortune to bring him into and she as insolent as ever she could be with
her smirk saying Im afraid were giving you too much trouble whats she there
for but I stared it out of her yes he was awfully stiff and no wonder but he
changed the second time he looked Poldy pigheaded as usual like the soup but
I could see him looking very hard at my chest when he stood up to open the
door for me it was nice of him to show me out in any case Im extremely sorry
Mrs Bloom believe me without making it too marked the first time after him
being insulted and me being supposed to be his wife I just half smiled I
know my chest was out that way at the door when he said Im extremely sorry
and Im sure you were
yes I think he made them a bit firmer sucking them like that so long be
made me thirsty titties he calls them I had to laugh yes this one anyhow
stiff the nipple gets for the least thing Ill get him to keep that up and
Ill take those eggs beaten up with marsala fatten them out for him what are
all those veins and things curious the way its made 2 the same in case of
twins theyre supposed to represent beauty placed up there like those statues
in the museum one of them pretending to hide it with her hand are they so
beautiful of course compared with what a man looks like with his two bags
full and his other thing hanging down out of him or sticking up at you like
a hatrack no wonder they hide it with a cabbageleaf the woman is beauty of
course thats admitted when he said I could pose for a picture naked to some
rich fellow in Holles street when he lost the job in Helys and I was selling
the clothes and strumming in the coffee palace would I be like that bath of
the nymph with my hair down yes only shes younger or Im a little like that
dirty bitch in that Spanish photo he has the nymphs used they go about like
that I asked him that disgusting Cameron highlander behind the meat market
or that other wretch with the red head behind the tree where the statue of
the fish used to be when I was passing pretending he was pissing standing
out for me to see it with his babyclothes up to one side the Queens own they
were a nice lot its well the Surreys relieved them theyre always trying to
show it to you every time nearly I passed outside the mens greenhouse near
the Harcourt street station just to try some fellow or other trying to catch
my eye or if it was 1 of the 7 wonders of the world O and the stink of those
rotten places the night coming home with Poldy after the Comerfords party
oranges and lemonade to make you feel nice and watery I went into 1 of them
it was so biting cold I couldnt keep it when was that 93 the canal was
frozen yes it was a few months after a pity a couple of the Camerons werent
there to see me squatting in the mens place meadero I tried to draw a
picture of it before I tore it up like a sausage or something I wonder
theyre not afraid going about of getting a kick or a bang or something there
and that word met something with hoses in it and he came out with some
jawbreakers about the incarnation he never can explain a thing simply the
way a body can understand then he goes and burns the bottom out of the pan
all for his Kidney this one not so much theres the mark of his teeth still
where he tried to bite the nipple I had to scream out arent they fearful
trying to hurt you I had a great breast of milk with Milly enough for two
what was the reason of that he said I could have got a pound a week as a wet
nurse all swelled out the morning that delicate looking student that stopped
in No 28 with the Citrons Penrose nearly caught me washing through the
window only for I snapped up the towel to my face that was his studenting
hurt me they used to weaning her till he got doctor Brady to give me the
Belladonna prescription I had to get him to suck them they were so hard he
said it was sweeter and thicker than cows then he wanted to milk me into the
tea well hes beyond everything I declare somebody ought to put him in the
budget if I only could remember the one half of the things and write a book
out of it the works of Master Poldy yes and its so much smoother the skin
much an hour he was at them Im sure by the clock like some kind of a big
infant I had at me they want everything in their mouth all the pleasure
those men get out of a woman I can feel his mouth O Lord I must stretch
myself I wished he was here or somebody to let myself go with and come again
like that I feel all fire inside me or if I could dream it when he made me
spend the 2nd time tickling me behind with his finger I was coming for about
5 minutes with my legs round him I had to hug him after O Lord I wanted to
shout out all sorts of things fuck or shit or anything at all only not to
look ugly or those lines from the strain who knows the way hed take it you
want to feel your way with a man theyre not all like him thank God some of
them want you to be so nice about it I noticed the contrast he does it and
doesnt talk I gave my eyes that look with my hair a bit loose from the
tumbling and my tongue between my lips up to him the savage brute Thursday
Friday one Saturday two Sunday three O Lord I cant wait till Monday
frseeeeeeeefronnnng train somewhere whistling the strength those
engines have in them like big giants and the water rolling all over and out
of them all sides like the end of Loves old sweet synnnng the poor men that
have to be out all the night from their wives and families in those roasting
engines stifling it was today Im glad I burned the half of those old
Freemans and Photo bits leaving things like that lying around hes getting
very careless and threw the rest of them up in the W C Ill get him to cut
them tomorrow for me instead of having them there for the next year to get a
few pence for them have him asking wheres last Januarys paper and all those
old overcoats I bundled out of the hall making the place hotter than it is
the rain was lovely just after my beauty sleep I thought it was going to get
like Gibraltar my goodness the heat there before the levanter came on black
as night and the glare of the rock standing up in it like a big giant
compared with their 3 Rock mountain they think is so great with the red
sentries here and there the poplars and they all whitehot and the mosquito
nets and the smell of the rainwater in those tanks watching the sun all the
time weltering down on you faded all that lovely frock fathers friend Mrs
Stanhope sent me from the B Marche Paris what a shame my dearest Doggerina
she wrote on what she was very nice whats this her other name was just a P C
to tell you I sent the little present have just had a jolly warm bath and
feel a very clean dog now enjoyed it wogger she called him wogger wd give
anything to be back in Gib and hear you sing in old Madrid or Waiting
Concone is the name of those exercises he bought me one of those new some
word Icouldn't make out shawls amusing things but tear for the least thing
still theyre lovely I think dont you will always think of the lovely teas we
had together scrumptious currant scones and raspberry wafers I adore well
now dearest Doggerina be sure and write soon kind she left out regards to
your father also Captain Grove with love yrs affly x x x x x she didnt look
a bit married just like a girl he was years older than her wogger he was
awfully fond of me when he held down the wire with his foot for me to step
over at the bullfight at La Linea when that matador Gomez was given the
bulls ear clothes we have to wear whoever invented them expecting you to
walk up Killiney hill then for example at that picnic all staysed up you
cant do a blessed thing in them in a crowd run or jump out of the way thats
why I was afraid when that other ferocious old Bull began to charge the
banderillos with the sashes and the 2 things in their hats and the brutes of
men shouting bravo toro sure the women were as bad in their nice white
mantillas ripping all the whole insides out of those poor horses I never
heard of such a thing in all my life yes he used to break his heart at me
taking off the dog barking in bell lane poor brute and it sick what became
of them ever I suppose theyre dead long ago the 2 of them its like all
through a mist makes you feel so old I made the scones of course I had
everything all to myself then a girl Hester we used to compare our hair mine
was thicker than hers she showed me how to settle it at the back when I put
it up and whats this else how to make a knot on a thread with the one hand
we were like cousins what age was I then the night of the storm I slept in
her bed she had her arms round me then we were fighting in the morning with
the pillow what fun he was watching me whenever he got an opportunity at the
band on the Alameda esplanade when I was with father and Captain Grove I
looked up at the church first and then at the windows then down and our eyes
met I felt something go through me like all needles my eyes were dancing I
remember after when I looked at myself in the glass hardly recognised myself
the change I had a splendid skin from the sun and the excitement like a rose
I didn't get a wink of sleep it wouldnt have been nice on account of her but
I could have stopped it in time she gave me the Moonstone to read that was
the first I read of Wilkie Collins East Lynne I read and the shadow of
Ashlydyat Mrs Henry Wood Henry Dunbar by that other woman I lent him
afterwards with Mulveys photo in it so as he see I wasnt without and Lord
Lytton Eugene Aram Molly bawn she gave me by Mrs Hungerford on account of
the name I dont like books with a Molly in them like that one he brought me
about the one from Flanders a whore always shoplifting anything she could
cloth and stuff and yards of it this blanket is too heavy on me thats better
I havent even one decent nightdress this thing gets all rolled up under me
besides him and his fooling thats better I used to be weltering then in the
heat my shift drenched with the sweat stuck in the cheeks of my bottom on
the chair when I stood up they were so fattish and firm when I got up on the
sofa cushions to see with my clothes up and the bugs tons of them at night
and the mosquito nets I couldnt read a line Lord how long ago it seems
centuries of course they never come back and she didnt put her address right
on it either she may have noticed her wogger people were always going away
and we never I remember that day with the waves and the boats with their
high heads rocking and the swell of the ship those Officers uniforms on
shore leave made me seasick he didnt say anything he was very serious I had
the high buttoned boots on and my skirt was blowing she kissed me six or
seven times didnt I cry yes I believe I did or near it my lips were
taittering when I said goodbye she had a Gorgeous wrap of some special kind
of blue colour on her for the voyage made very peculiarly to one side like
and it was extremely pretty it got as dull as the devil after they went I
was almost planning to run away mad out of it somewhere were never easy
where we are father or aunt or marriage waiting always waiting to guiiiide
him toooo me waiting nor speeeed his flying feet their damn guns bursting
and booming all over the shop especially the Queens birthday and throwing
everything down in all directions if you didnt open the windows when general
Ulysses Grant whoever he was or did supposed to be some great fellow landed
off the ship and old Sprague the consul that was there from before the flood
dressed up poor man and he in mourning for the son then the same old
reveille in the morning and drums rolling and the unfortunate poor devils of
soldiers walking about with messtins smelling the place more than the old
longbearded jews in their jellibees and levites assembly and sound clear and
gunfire for the men to cross the lines and the warden marching with his keys
to lock the gates and the bagpipes and only Captain Groves and father
talking about Rorkes drift and Plevna and sir Garnet Wolseley and Gordon at
Khartoum lighting their pipes for them everytime they went out drunken old
devil with his grog on the windowsill catch him leaving any of it picking
his nose trying to think of some other dirty story to tell up in a corner
but he never forgot himself when I was there sending me out of the room on
some blind excuse paying his compliments the Bushmills whisky talking of
course but hed do the same to the next woman that came along I supposed he
died of galloping drink ages ago the days like years not a letter from a
living soul except the odd few I posted to myself with bits of paper in them
so bored sometimes I could fight with my nails listening to that old Arab
with the one eye and his heass of an instrument singing his heah heah aheah
all my compriments on your hotchapotch of your heass as bad as now with the
hands hanging off me looking out of the window if there was a nice fellow
even in the opposite house that medical in Holles street the nurse was after
when I put on my gloves and hat at the window to show I was going out not a
notion what I meant arent they thick never understand what you say even youd
want to print it up on a big poster for them not even if you shake hands
twice with the left he didnt recognise me either when I half frowned at him
outside Westland row chapel where does their great intelligence come in Id
like to know grey matter they have it all in their tail if you ask me those
country gougers up in the City Arms intelligence they had a damn sight less
than the bulls and cows they were selling the meat and the coalmans bell
that noisy bugger trying to swindle me with the wrong bill he took out of
his hat what a pair of paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend any broken
bottles for a poor man today and no visitors or post ever except his cheques
or some advertisement like that wonderworker they sent him addressed dear
Madam only his letter and the card from Milly this morning see she wrote a
letter to him who did I get the last letter from O Mrs Dwenn now whatever
possessed her to write after so many years to know the recipe I had for
pisto madrileno Floey Dillon since she wrote to say she was married to a
very rich architect if Im to believe all I hear with a villa and eight rooms
her father was an awfully nice man he was near seventy always good humour
well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie theres the pyannyer that was a solid
silver coffee service he had too on the mahogany sideboard then dying so far
away I hate people that have always their poor story to tell everybody has
their own troubles that poor Nancy Blake died a month ago of acute pneumonia
well I didnt know her so well as all that she was Floeys friend more than
mine its a bother having to answer he always tells me the wrong things and
no stops to say like making a speech your sad bereavement sympathy I always
make that mistake and newphew with 2 double yous in I hope hell write me a
longer letter the next time if its a thing he really likes me O thanks be to
the great God I got somebody to give me what I badly wanted to put some
heart up into me youve no chances at all in this place like you used long
ago I wish somebody would write me a love-letter his wasnt much and I told
him he could write what he liked yours ever Hugh Boylan in Old Madrid silly
women believe love is sighing I am dying still if he wrote it I suppose
thered be some truth in it true or no it fills up your whole day and life
always something to think about every moment and see it all around you like
a new world I could write the answer in bed to let him imagine me short just
a few words not those long crossed letters Atty Dillon used to write to the
fellow that was something in the four courts that jilted her after out of
the ladies letterwriter when I told her to say a few simple words he could
twist how he liked not acting with precipit precipitancy with equal candour
the greatest earthly happiness answer to a gentlemans proposal affirmatively
my goodness theres nothing else its all very fine for them but as for being
a woman as soon as youre old they might as well throw you out in the bottom
of the ash pit.
Mulveys was the first when I was in bed that morning and Mrs Rubio
brought it in with the coffee she stood there standing when I asked her to
hand me and I pointing at them I couldnt think of the word a hairpin to open
it with ah horquilla disobliging old thing and it staring her in the face
with her switch of false hair on her and vain about her appearance ugly as
she was near 80 or a 100 her face a mass of wrinkles with all her religion
domineering because she never could get over the Atlantic fleet coming in
half the ships of the world and the Union Jack flying with all her
carabineros because 4 drunken English sailors took all the rock from them
and because I didnt run into mass often enough in Santa Maria to please her
with her shawl up on her except when there was a marriage on with all her
miracles of the saints and her black blessed virgin with the silver dress
and the sun dancing 3 times on Easter Sunday morning and when the priest was
going by with the bell bringing the vatican to the dying blessing herself
for his Majestad an admirer he signed it I near jumped out of my skin I
wanted to pick him up when I saw him following me along the Calle Real in
the shop window then he tipped me just in passing I never thought hed write
making an appointment I had it inside my petticoat bodice all day reading it
up in every hole and corner while father was up at the drill instructing to
find out by the handwriting or the language of stamps singing I remember
shall I wear a white rose and I wanted to put on the old stupid clock to
near the time he was the first man kissed me under the Moorish wall my
sweetheart when a boy it never entered my head what kissing meant till he
put his tongue in my mouth his mouth was sweetlike young I put my knee up to
him a few times to learn the way what did I tell him I was engaged for fun
to the son of a Spanish nobleman named Don Miguel de la Flora and he
believed that I was to be married to him in 3 years time theres many a true
word spoken in jest there is a flower that bloometh a few things I told him
true about myself just for him to be imagining the Spanish girls he didnt
like I suppose one of them wouldnt have him I got him excited he crushed all
the flowers on my bosom he brought me he couldnt count the pesetas and the
perragordas till I taught him Cappoquin he came from he said on the
Blackwater but it was too short then the day before he left May yes it was
May when the infant king of Spain was born Im always like that in the spring
Id like a new fellow every year up on the tiptop under the rockgun near
OHaras tower I told him it was struck by lightning and all about the old
Barbary apes they sent to Clapham without a tail careering all over the show
on each others back Mrs Rubio said she was a regular old rock scorpion
robbing the chickens out of Inces farm and throw stones at you if you went
anear he was looking at me I had that white blouse on open at the front to
encourage him as much as I could without too openly they were just beginning
to be plump I said I was tired we lay over the firtree cove a wild place I
suppose it must be the highest rock in existence the galleries and casemates
and those frightful rocks and Saint Michaels cave with the icicles or
whatever they call them hanging down and ladders all the mud plotching my
boots Im sure thats the way down the monkeys go under the sea to Africa when
they die the ships out far like chips that was the Malta boat passing Yes
the sea and the sky you could do what you liked lie there for ever he
caressed them outside they love doing that its the roundness there I was
leaning over him with my white ricestraw hat to take the newness out of it
the left side of my face the best my blouse open for his last day
transparent kind of shirt he had I could see his chest pink he wanted to
touch mine with his for a moment but I wouldn't let him he was awfully put
out first for fear you never know consumption or leave me with a child
embarazada that old servant Ines told me that one drop even if it got into
you at all after I tried with the Banana but I was afraid it might break and
get lost up in me somewhere yes because they once took something down out of
a woman that was up there for years covered with limesalts theyre all mad to
get in there where they come out of youd think they could never get far
enough up and then theyre done with you in a way till the next time yes
because theres a wonderful feeling there all the time so tender how did we
finish it off yes O yes I pulled him off into my handkerchief pretending not
to be excited but I opened my legs I wouldnt let him touch me inside my
petticoat I had a skirt opening up the side I tortured the life out of him
first tickling him I loved rousing that dog in the hotel rrrsssst
awokwokawok his eyes shut and a bird flying below us he was shy all the same
I liked him like that morning I made him blush a little when I got over him
that way when I unbuttoned him and took his out and drew back the skin it
had a kind of eye in it theyre all Buttons men down the middle on the wrong
side of them Molly darling he called me what was his name Jack Joe Harry
Mulvey was it yes I think a lieutenant he was rather fair he had a laughing
kind of a voice so I went around to the whatyoucallit everything was
whatyoucallit moustache had he he said hed come back Lord its just like
yesterday to me and if I was married hed do it to me and I promised him yes
faithfully Id let him block me now flying perhaps hes dead or killed or a
Captain or admiral its nearly 20 years if I said firtree cove he would if he
came up behind me and put his hands over my eyes to guess who I might
recognise him hes young still about 40 perhaps hes married some girl on the
black water and is quite changed they all do they havent half the character
a woman has she little knows what I did with her beloved husband before he
ever dreamt of her in broad daylight too in the sight of the whole world you
might say they could have put an article about it in the Chronicle I was a
bit wild after when I blew out the old bag the biscuits were in from Benady
Bros and exploded it Lord what a bang all the woodcocks and pigeons
screaming coming back the same way that we went over middle hill round by
the old guardhouse and the jews burial place pretending to read out the
Hebrew on them I wanted to fire his pistol he said he hadnt one he didnt
know what to make of me with his peaked cap on that he always wore crooked
as often as I settled it straight H M S Calypso swinging my hat that old
Bishop that spoke off the altar his long preach about womans higher
functions about girls now riding the bicycle and wearing peak caps and the
new woman bloomers God send him sense and me more money I suppose theyre
called after him I never thought that would be my name Bloom when I used to
write it in print to see how it looked on a visiting card or practising for
the butcher and oblige M Bloom youre looking blooming Josie used to say
after I married him well its better than Breen or Briggs does brig or those
awful names with bottom in them Mrs Ramsbottom or some other kind of a
bottom Mulvey I wouldnt go mad about either or suppose I divorced him Mrs
Boylan my mother whoever she was might have given me a nicer name the Lord
knows after the lovely one she had Lunita Laredo the fun we had running
along Willis road to Europa point twisting in and out all round the other
side of Jersey they were shaking and dancing about in my blouse like Millys
little ones now when she runs up the stairs I loved looking down at them I
was jumping up at the pepper trees and the white poplars pulling the leaves
off and throwing them at him he went to India he was to write the voyages
those men have to make to the ends of the world and back its the least they
Poldy laughing and trying to listen I was waggling my foot we both ordered 2
teas and plain bread and butter I saw him looking with his two old maids of
sisters when I stood up and asked the girl where it was what do I care with
it dropping out of me and that black closed breeches he made me buy takes
you half an hour to let them down wetting all myself always with some
brandnew fad every other week such a long one I did I forgot my suede gloves
on the seat behind that I never got after some robber of a woman and he
wanted me to put it in the Irish Times lost in the ladies lavatory D B C
Dame street finder return to Mrs Marion Bloom and I saw his eyes on my feet
going out through the turning door he was looking when I looked back and I
went there for tea 2 days after in the hope but he wasnt now how did that
excite him because I was crossing them when we were in the other room first
he meant the shoes that are too tight to walk in my hand is nice like that
if I only had a ring with the stone for my month a nice aquamarine Ill stick
him for one and a gold bracelet I dont like my foot so much still I made him
spend once with my foot the night after Goodwins botchup of a concert so
cold and windy it was well we had that rum in the house to mull and the fire
wasnt black out when he asked to take off my stockings lying on the
hearthrug in Lombard street well and another time it was my muddy boots hed
like me to walk in all the horses dung I could find but of course hes not
natural like the rest of the world that I what did he say I could give 9
points in 10 to Katty Lanner and beat her what does that mean I asked him I
forget what he said because the stoppress edition just passed and the man
with the curly hair in the Lucan dairy thats so polite I think I saw his
face before somewhere I noticed him when I was tasting the butter so I took
my time Bartell dArcy too that he used to make fun of when he commenced
kissing me on the choir stairs after I sang Gounods Ave Maria what are we
waiting for O my heart kiss me straight on the brow and part which is my
brown part he was pretty hot for all his tinny voice too my low notes he was
always raving about if you can believe him I liked the way he used his mouth
singing then he said wasnt it terrible to do that there in a place like that
I dont see anything so terrible about it Ill tell him about that some day
not now and surprise him ay and Ill take him there and show him the very
place too we did it so now there you are like it or lump it he thinks
nothing can happen without him knowing he hadnt an idea about my mother till
we were engaged otherwise hed never have got me so cheap as he did he was 10
times worse himself anyhow begging me to give him a tiny bit cut off my
drawers that was the evening coming along Kenilworth square he kissed me in
the eye of my glove and I had to take it off asking me questions is it
permitted to inquire the shape of my bedroom so I let him keep it as if I
forgot it to think of me when I saw him slip it into his pocket of course
hes mad on the subject of drawers thats plain to be seen always skeezing at
those brazenfaced things on the bicycles with their skirts blowing up to
their navels even when Milly and I were out with him at the open air fete
that one in the cream muslin standing right against the sun so he could see
every atom she had on when he saw me from behind following in the rain I saw
him before he saw me however standing at the corner of the Harolds cross
road with a new raincoat on him with the muffler in the Zingari colours to
show off his complexion-and the brown hat looking slyboots as usual what was
he doing there where hed no business they can go and get whatever they like
from anything at all with a skirt on it and were not to ask any questions
but they want to know where were you where are you going I could feel him
coming along skulking after me his eyes on my neck he had been keeping away
from the house he felt it was getting too warm for him so I half turned and
stopped then he pestered me to say yes till I took off my glove slowly
watching him he said my openwork sleeves were too cold for the rain anything
for an excuse to put his hand anear me drawers drawers the whole blessed
time till I promised to give him the pair off my doll to carry about in his
waistcoat pocket O Maria santissima he did look a big fool dreeping in the
rain splendid set of teeth he had made me hungry to look at them and
beseeched of me to lift the orange petticoat I had on with sunray pleats
that there was nobody he Said hed kneel down in the wet if I didnt so
persevering he would too and ruin his new raincoat you never know what freak
theyd take alone with you theyre so savage for it if anyone was passing so I
lifted them a bit and touched his trousers outside the way I used to Gardner
after with my ring hand to keep him from doing worse where it was too public
I was dying to find out was he circumcised he was shaking like a jelly all
over they want to do everything too quick take all the pleasure out if it
and father waiting all the time for his dinner he told me to say I left my
purse in the butchers and had to go back for it what a Deceiver then he
wrote me that letter with all those words in it how could he have the face
to any woman after his company manners making it so awkward after when we
met asking me have I offended you with my eyelids down of course he saw I
wasnt he had a few brains not like that other fool Henry Doyle he was always
breaking or tearing something in the charades I hate an unlucky man and if I
knew what it meant of course I had to say no for form sake dont understand
you I said and wasnt it natural so it is of course it used to be written up
with a picture of a womans on that wall in Gibraltar with that word I
couldnt find anywhere only for children seeing it too young then writing a
letter every morning sometimes twice a day I liked the way he made love then
he knew the way to take a woman when he sent me the 8 big poppies because
mine was the 8th then I wrote the night he kissed my heart at Dolphins barn
I couldnt describe it simply it makes you feel like nothing on earth but he
never knew how to embrace well like Gardner I hope hell come on Monday as he
said at the same time four I hate people who come at all hours answer the
door you think its the vegetables then its somebody and you all undressed or
the door of the filthy sloppy kitchen blows open the day old frostyface
Goodwin called about the concert in Lombard street and I just after dinner
all flushed and tossed with boiling old stew dont look at me professor I had
to say Im a fright yes but he was a real old gent in his way it was
impossible to be more respectful nobody to say youre out you have to peep
out through the blind like the messengerboy today I thought it was a putoff
first him sending the port and the peaches first and I was just beginning to
yawn with nerves thinking he was trying to make a fool of me when I knew his
tattarrattat at the door he must have been a bit late because it was 1/4
after 3 when I saw the 2 Dedalus girls coming from school I never know the
time even that watch he gave me never seems to go properly Id want to get it
looked after when I threw the penny to that lame sailor for England home and
beauty when I was whistling there is a charming girl I love and I hadnt even
put on my clean shift or powdered myself or a thing then this day week were
to go to Belfast just as well he has to go to Ennis his fathers anniversary
the 27th it wouldnt be pleasant if he did suppose our rooms at the hotel
were beside each other and any fooling went on in the new bed I couldnt tell
him to stop and not bother me with him in the next room or perhaps some
protestant clergyman with a cough knocking on the wall then he wouldnt
believe next day we didnt do something its all very well a husband but you
cant fool a lover after me telling him we never did anything of course he
didnt believe me no its better hes going where he is besides something
always happens with him the time going to the Mallow Concert at Maryborough
ordering boiling soup for the two of us then the bell rang out he walks down
the platform with the soup splashing about taking spoonfuls of it hadnt he
the nerve and the waiter after him making a holy show of us screeching and
confusion for the engine to start but he wouldnt pay till he finished it the
two gentlemen in the 3rd class Carriage said he was quite right so he was
too hes so pigheaded sometimes when he gets a thing into his head a good job
he was able to open the carriage door with his knife or theyd have taken us
on to Cork I suppose that was done out of revenge on him O I love jaunting
in a train or a car with lovely soft cushions I wonder will he take a 1st
class for me he might want to do it in the train by tipping the guard well O
I suppose therell be the usual idiots of men gaping at us with their eyes as
stupid as ever they can possibly be that was an exceptional man that common
workman that left us alone in the carriage that day going to Howth Id like
to find out something about him 1 or 2 tunnels perhaps then you have to look
out of the window all the nicer then coming back suppose I never came back
what would they say eloped with him that gets you on on the stage the last
concert I sang at where its over a year ago when was it St Teresas hall
Clarendon St little chits of missies they have now singing Kathleen Kearney
and her like on account of father being in the army and my singing the
absentminded beggar and wearing a brooch for lord Roberts when I had the map
of it all and Poldy not Irish enough was it him managed it this time I
wouldnt put it past him like he got me on to sing in the Stabat Mater by
going around saying he was putting Lead Kindly Light to music I put him up
to that till the jesuits found out he was a freemason thumping the piano
lead Thou me on copied from some old opera yes and he was going about with
some of them Sinner Fein lately or whatever they call themselves talking his
usual trash and nonsense he says that little man he showed me without the
neck is very intelligent the coming man Griffith is he well he doesnt look
it thats all I can say still it must have been him he knew there was a
boycott I hate the mention of politics after the war that Pretoria and
Ladysmith and Bloemfontein where Gardner Lieut Stanley G 8th Bn 2nd East
Lancs Rgt of enteric fever he was a lovely fellow in khaki and just the
right height over me Im sure he was brave too he said I was lovely the
evening we kissed goodbye at the canal lock my Irish beauty he was pale with
excitement about going away or wed be seen from the road he couldnt stand
properly and I so hot as I never felt they could have made their peace in
the beginning or old oom Paul and the rest of the old Krugers go and fight
it out between them instead of dragging on for years killing any finelooking
men there were with their fever if he was even decently shot it wouldnt have
been so bad I love to see a regiment pass in review the first time I saw the
Spanish cavalry at La Roque it was lovely after looking across the bay from
Algeciras all the lights of the rock like fireflies or those sham battles on
the 15 acres the Black Watch with their kilts in time at the march past the
10th hussars the prince of Wales own or the lancers O the lancers theyre
grand or the Dublins that won Tugela his father made his money over selling
the horses for the cavalry well he could buy me a nice present up in Belfast
after what I gave theyve lovely linen up there or one of those nice kimono
things I must buy a mothball like I had before to keep in the drawer with
them it would be exciting going around with him shopping buying those things
in a new city better leave this ring behind want to keep turning and turning
to get it over the knuckle there or they might bell it round the town in
their papers or tell the police on me but theyd think were married O let
them all go and smother themselves for the fat lot I care he has plenty of
money and hes not a marrying man so somebody better get it out of him if I
could find out whether he likes me I looked a bit washy of course when I
looked close in the handglass powdering a mirror never gives you the
expression besides scrooching down on me like that all the time with his big
hipbones hes heavy too with his hairy chest for this heat always having to
lie down for them better for him put it into me from behind the way Mrs
Mastiansky told me her husband made her like the dogs do it and stick out
her tongue as far as ever she could and he so quiet and mild with his
tingating either can you ever be up to men the way it takes them lovely
stuff in that blue suit he had on and stylish tie and socks with the skyblue
silk things on them hes certainly welloff I know by the cut his clothes have
and his heavy watch but he was like a perfect devil for a few minutes after
he came back with the stop press tearing up the tickets and swearing blazes
because he lost 20 quid he said he lost over that outsider that won and half
he put on for me on account of Lenehans tip cursing him to the lowest pits
that sponger he was making free with me after the Glencree dinner coming
back that long joult over the featherbed mountain after the lord Mayor
looking at me with his dirty eyes Val Dillon that big heathen I first
noticed him at dessert when I was cracking the nuts with my teeth I wished I
could have picked every morsel of that chicken out of my fingers it was so
tasty and browned and as tender as anything only for I didnt want to eat
everything on my plate those forks and fishslicers were hallmarked silver
too I wish I had some I could easily have slipped a couple into my muff when
I was playing with them then always hanging out of them for money in a
restaurant for the bit you put down your throat we have to be thankful for
our mangy cup of tea itself as a great compliment to be noticed the way the
world is divided in any case if its going to go on I want at least two other
good chemises for one thing and but I dont know what kind of drawers he
likes none at all I think didnt he say yes and half the girls in Gibraltar
never wore them either naked as God made them that Andalusian singing her
Manola she didnt make much secret of what she hadnt yes and the second pair
of silkette stockings is laddered after one days wear I could have brought
them back to Lewers this morning and kick up a row and made that one change
them only not to upset myself and run the risk of walking into him and
ruining the whole thing and one of those kidfitting corsets Id want
advertised cheap in the Gentlewoman with elastic gores on the hips he saved
the one I have but thats no good what did they say they give a delightful
figure line 11/6 obviating that unsightly broad appearance across the lower
back to reduce flesh my belly is a bit too big Ill have to knock off the
stout at dinner or am I getting too fond of it the last they sent from
ORourkes was as flat as a pancake he makes his money easy Larry they call
him the old mangy parcel he sent at Xmas a cottage cake and a bottle of
hogwash he tried to palm off as claret that he couldnt get anyone to drink
God spare his spit for fear hed die of the drouth or I must do a few
breathing exercises I wonder is that antifat any good might overdo it thin
ones are not so much the fashion now garters that much I have the violet
pair I wore today thats all he bought me out of the cheque he got on the
first O no there was the face lotion I finished the last of yesterday that
made my skin like new I told him over and over again get that made up in the
same place and dont forget it God only knows whether he did after all I said
to him Ill know by the bottle anyway if not I suppose Ill only have to wash
in my piss like beeftea or chickensoup with some of that opoponax and violet
I thought it was beginning to look coarse or old a bit the skin underneath
is much finer where it peeled off there on my finger after the burn its a
pity it isnt all like that and the four paltry handkerchiefs about 6/- in
all sure you cant get on in this world without style all going in food and
rent when I get it Ill lash it around I tell you in fine style I always want
to throw a handful of tea into the pot measuring and mincing if I buy a pair
of old brogues itself do you like those new shoes yes how much were they Ive
no clothes at all the brown costume and the skirt and jacket and the one at
the cleaners 3 whats that for any woman cutting up this old hat and patching
up the other the men wont look at you and women try to walk on you because
they know youve no man then with all the things getting dearer every day for
the 4 years more I have of life up to 35 no Im what am I at all Ill be 33 in
September will I what O well look at that Mrs Galbraith shes much older than
me I saw her when I was out last week her beautys on the wane she was a
lovely woman magnificent head of hair on her down to her waist tossing it
back like that like Kitty OShea in Grantham street 1st thing I did every
morning to look across see her combing it as if she loved it and was full of
it pity I only got to know her the day before we left and that Mrs Langtry
the Jersey Lily the prince of Wales was in love with I suppose hes like the
first man going the roads only for the name of a king theyre all made the
one way only a black mans Id like to try a beauty up to what was she 45
there was some funny story about the jealous old husband what was it all and
an oyster knife he went no he made her wear a kind of a tin thing around her
and the prince of Wales yes he had the oyster knife cant be true a thing
like that like some of those books he brings me the works of Master Francois
somebody supposed to be a priest about a child born out of her ear because
her bumgut fell out a nice word for any priest to write and her a-e as if
any fool wouldnt know what that meant I hate that pretending of all things
with the old blackguards face on him anybody can see its not true and that
Ruby and Fair Tyrants he brought me that twice I remember when I came to
page 50 the part about where she hangs him up out of a hook with a cord
flagellate sure theres nothing for a woman in that all invention made up
about he drinking the champagne out of her slipper after the ball was over
like the infant Jesus In the crib at Inchicore in the Blessed Virgins arms
sure no woman could have a child that big taken out of her and I thought
first it came out of her side because how could she go to the chamber when
she wanted to and she a rich lady of course she felt honoured H. R. H. he
was in Gibraltar the year I gas born I bet he found lilies there too where
he planted the tree he planted more than that in his time he might have
planted me too if hed come a bit sooner then I wouldnt be here as I am he
ought to chuck that Freeman with the paltry few shillings he knocks out of
it and go into an office or something where hed get regular pay or a bank
where they could put him up on a throne to count the money all the day of
course he prefers plottering about the house so you cant stir with him any
side whats your programme today I wish hed even smoke a pipe like father to
get the smell of a man or pretending to be mooching about for advertisements
when he could have been in Mr Cuffes still only for what he did then sending
me to try and patch it up I could have got him promoted there to be the
manager he gave me a great mirada once or twice first he was as stiff as the
mischief really and truly Mrs Bloom only I felt rotten simply with the old
rubbishy dress that I lost the leads out of the tails with no cut in it but
theyre coming into fashion again I bought it simply to please him I knew it
was no good by the finish pity I changed my mind of going to Todd and Burns
as I said and not Lees it was just like the shop itself rummage sale a lot
of trash I hate those rich shops get on your nerves nothing kills me
altogether only he thinks he knows a great lot about a womans dress and
cooking mathering everything he can scour off the shelves into it if I went
by his advices every blessed hat I put on does that suit me yes take that
thats alright the one like a wedding cake standing up miles off my head he
said suited me or the dishcover one coming down on my backside on pins and
needles about the shop girl in that place in Grafton street I had the
misfortune to bring him into and she as insolent as ever she could be with
her smirk saying Im afraid were giving you too much trouble whats she there
for but I stared it out of her yes he was awfully stiff and no wonder but he
changed the second time he looked Poldy pigheaded as usual like the soup but
I could see him looking very hard at my chest when he stood up to open the
door for me it was nice of him to show me out in any case Im extremely sorry
Mrs Bloom believe me without making it too marked the first time after him
being insulted and me being supposed to be his wife I just half smiled I
know my chest was out that way at the door when he said Im extremely sorry
and Im sure you were
yes I think he made them a bit firmer sucking them like that so long be
made me thirsty titties he calls them I had to laugh yes this one anyhow
stiff the nipple gets for the least thing Ill get him to keep that up and
Ill take those eggs beaten up with marsala fatten them out for him what are
all those veins and things curious the way its made 2 the same in case of
twins theyre supposed to represent beauty placed up there like those statues
in the museum one of them pretending to hide it with her hand are they so
beautiful of course compared with what a man looks like with his two bags
full and his other thing hanging down out of him or sticking up at you like
a hatrack no wonder they hide it with a cabbageleaf the woman is beauty of
course thats admitted when he said I could pose for a picture naked to some
rich fellow in Holles street when he lost the job in Helys and I was selling
the clothes and strumming in the coffee palace would I be like that bath of
the nymph with my hair down yes only shes younger or Im a little like that
dirty bitch in that Spanish photo he has the nymphs used they go about like
that I asked him that disgusting Cameron highlander behind the meat market
or that other wretch with the red head behind the tree where the statue of
the fish used to be when I was passing pretending he was pissing standing
out for me to see it with his babyclothes up to one side the Queens own they
were a nice lot its well the Surreys relieved them theyre always trying to
show it to you every time nearly I passed outside the mens greenhouse near
the Harcourt street station just to try some fellow or other trying to catch
my eye or if it was 1 of the 7 wonders of the world O and the stink of those
rotten places the night coming home with Poldy after the Comerfords party
oranges and lemonade to make you feel nice and watery I went into 1 of them
it was so biting cold I couldnt keep it when was that 93 the canal was
frozen yes it was a few months after a pity a couple of the Camerons werent
there to see me squatting in the mens place meadero I tried to draw a
picture of it before I tore it up like a sausage or something I wonder
theyre not afraid going about of getting a kick or a bang or something there
and that word met something with hoses in it and he came out with some
jawbreakers about the incarnation he never can explain a thing simply the
way a body can understand then he goes and burns the bottom out of the pan
all for his Kidney this one not so much theres the mark of his teeth still
where he tried to bite the nipple I had to scream out arent they fearful
trying to hurt you I had a great breast of milk with Milly enough for two
what was the reason of that he said I could have got a pound a week as a wet
nurse all swelled out the morning that delicate looking student that stopped
in No 28 with the Citrons Penrose nearly caught me washing through the
window only for I snapped up the towel to my face that was his studenting
hurt me they used to weaning her till he got doctor Brady to give me the
Belladonna prescription I had to get him to suck them they were so hard he
said it was sweeter and thicker than cows then he wanted to milk me into the
tea well hes beyond everything I declare somebody ought to put him in the
budget if I only could remember the one half of the things and write a book
out of it the works of Master Poldy yes and its so much smoother the skin
much an hour he was at them Im sure by the clock like some kind of a big
infant I had at me they want everything in their mouth all the pleasure
those men get out of a woman I can feel his mouth O Lord I must stretch
myself I wished he was here or somebody to let myself go with and come again
like that I feel all fire inside me or if I could dream it when he made me
spend the 2nd time tickling me behind with his finger I was coming for about
5 minutes with my legs round him I had to hug him after O Lord I wanted to
shout out all sorts of things fuck or shit or anything at all only not to
look ugly or those lines from the strain who knows the way hed take it you
want to feel your way with a man theyre not all like him thank God some of
them want you to be so nice about it I noticed the contrast he does it and
doesnt talk I gave my eyes that look with my hair a bit loose from the
tumbling and my tongue between my lips up to him the savage brute Thursday
Friday one Saturday two Sunday three O Lord I cant wait till Monday
frseeeeeeeefronnnng train somewhere whistling the strength those
engines have in them like big giants and the water rolling all over and out
of them all sides like the end of Loves old sweet synnnng the poor men that
have to be out all the night from their wives and families in those roasting
engines stifling it was today Im glad I burned the half of those old
Freemans and Photo bits leaving things like that lying around hes getting
very careless and threw the rest of them up in the W C Ill get him to cut
them tomorrow for me instead of having them there for the next year to get a
few pence for them have him asking wheres last Januarys paper and all those
old overcoats I bundled out of the hall making the place hotter than it is
the rain was lovely just after my beauty sleep I thought it was going to get
like Gibraltar my goodness the heat there before the levanter came on black
as night and the glare of the rock standing up in it like a big giant
compared with their 3 Rock mountain they think is so great with the red
sentries here and there the poplars and they all whitehot and the mosquito
nets and the smell of the rainwater in those tanks watching the sun all the
time weltering down on you faded all that lovely frock fathers friend Mrs
Stanhope sent me from the B Marche Paris what a shame my dearest Doggerina
she wrote on what she was very nice whats this her other name was just a P C
to tell you I sent the little present have just had a jolly warm bath and
feel a very clean dog now enjoyed it wogger she called him wogger wd give
anything to be back in Gib and hear you sing in old Madrid or Waiting
Concone is the name of those exercises he bought me one of those new some
word Icouldn't make out shawls amusing things but tear for the least thing
still theyre lovely I think dont you will always think of the lovely teas we
had together scrumptious currant scones and raspberry wafers I adore well
now dearest Doggerina be sure and write soon kind she left out regards to
your father also Captain Grove with love yrs affly x x x x x she didnt look
a bit married just like a girl he was years older than her wogger he was
awfully fond of me when he held down the wire with his foot for me to step
over at the bullfight at La Linea when that matador Gomez was given the
bulls ear clothes we have to wear whoever invented them expecting you to
walk up Killiney hill then for example at that picnic all staysed up you
cant do a blessed thing in them in a crowd run or jump out of the way thats
why I was afraid when that other ferocious old Bull began to charge the
banderillos with the sashes and the 2 things in their hats and the brutes of
men shouting bravo toro sure the women were as bad in their nice white
mantillas ripping all the whole insides out of those poor horses I never
heard of such a thing in all my life yes he used to break his heart at me
taking off the dog barking in bell lane poor brute and it sick what became
of them ever I suppose theyre dead long ago the 2 of them its like all
through a mist makes you feel so old I made the scones of course I had
everything all to myself then a girl Hester we used to compare our hair mine
was thicker than hers she showed me how to settle it at the back when I put
it up and whats this else how to make a knot on a thread with the one hand
we were like cousins what age was I then the night of the storm I slept in
her bed she had her arms round me then we were fighting in the morning with
the pillow what fun he was watching me whenever he got an opportunity at the
band on the Alameda esplanade when I was with father and Captain Grove I
looked up at the church first and then at the windows then down and our eyes
met I felt something go through me like all needles my eyes were dancing I
remember after when I looked at myself in the glass hardly recognised myself
the change I had a splendid skin from the sun and the excitement like a rose
I didn't get a wink of sleep it wouldnt have been nice on account of her but
I could have stopped it in time she gave me the Moonstone to read that was
the first I read of Wilkie Collins East Lynne I read and the shadow of
Ashlydyat Mrs Henry Wood Henry Dunbar by that other woman I lent him
afterwards with Mulveys photo in it so as he see I wasnt without and Lord
Lytton Eugene Aram Molly bawn she gave me by Mrs Hungerford on account of
the name I dont like books with a Molly in them like that one he brought me
about the one from Flanders a whore always shoplifting anything she could
cloth and stuff and yards of it this blanket is too heavy on me thats better
I havent even one decent nightdress this thing gets all rolled up under me
besides him and his fooling thats better I used to be weltering then in the
heat my shift drenched with the sweat stuck in the cheeks of my bottom on
the chair when I stood up they were so fattish and firm when I got up on the
sofa cushions to see with my clothes up and the bugs tons of them at night
and the mosquito nets I couldnt read a line Lord how long ago it seems
centuries of course they never come back and she didnt put her address right
on it either she may have noticed her wogger people were always going away
and we never I remember that day with the waves and the boats with their
high heads rocking and the swell of the ship those Officers uniforms on
shore leave made me seasick he didnt say anything he was very serious I had
the high buttoned boots on and my skirt was blowing she kissed me six or
seven times didnt I cry yes I believe I did or near it my lips were
taittering when I said goodbye she had a Gorgeous wrap of some special kind
of blue colour on her for the voyage made very peculiarly to one side like
and it was extremely pretty it got as dull as the devil after they went I
was almost planning to run away mad out of it somewhere were never easy
where we are father or aunt or marriage waiting always waiting to guiiiide
him toooo me waiting nor speeeed his flying feet their damn guns bursting
and booming all over the shop especially the Queens birthday and throwing
everything down in all directions if you didnt open the windows when general
Ulysses Grant whoever he was or did supposed to be some great fellow landed
off the ship and old Sprague the consul that was there from before the flood
dressed up poor man and he in mourning for the son then the same old
reveille in the morning and drums rolling and the unfortunate poor devils of
soldiers walking about with messtins smelling the place more than the old
longbearded jews in their jellibees and levites assembly and sound clear and
gunfire for the men to cross the lines and the warden marching with his keys
to lock the gates and the bagpipes and only Captain Groves and father
talking about Rorkes drift and Plevna and sir Garnet Wolseley and Gordon at
Khartoum lighting their pipes for them everytime they went out drunken old
devil with his grog on the windowsill catch him leaving any of it picking
his nose trying to think of some other dirty story to tell up in a corner
but he never forgot himself when I was there sending me out of the room on
some blind excuse paying his compliments the Bushmills whisky talking of
course but hed do the same to the next woman that came along I supposed he
died of galloping drink ages ago the days like years not a letter from a
living soul except the odd few I posted to myself with bits of paper in them
so bored sometimes I could fight with my nails listening to that old Arab
with the one eye and his heass of an instrument singing his heah heah aheah
all my compriments on your hotchapotch of your heass as bad as now with the
hands hanging off me looking out of the window if there was a nice fellow
even in the opposite house that medical in Holles street the nurse was after
when I put on my gloves and hat at the window to show I was going out not a
notion what I meant arent they thick never understand what you say even youd
want to print it up on a big poster for them not even if you shake hands
twice with the left he didnt recognise me either when I half frowned at him
outside Westland row chapel where does their great intelligence come in Id
like to know grey matter they have it all in their tail if you ask me those
country gougers up in the City Arms intelligence they had a damn sight less
than the bulls and cows they were selling the meat and the coalmans bell
that noisy bugger trying to swindle me with the wrong bill he took out of
his hat what a pair of paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend any broken
bottles for a poor man today and no visitors or post ever except his cheques
or some advertisement like that wonderworker they sent him addressed dear
Madam only his letter and the card from Milly this morning see she wrote a
letter to him who did I get the last letter from O Mrs Dwenn now whatever
possessed her to write after so many years to know the recipe I had for
pisto madrileno Floey Dillon since she wrote to say she was married to a
very rich architect if Im to believe all I hear with a villa and eight rooms
her father was an awfully nice man he was near seventy always good humour
well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie theres the pyannyer that was a solid
silver coffee service he had too on the mahogany sideboard then dying so far
away I hate people that have always their poor story to tell everybody has
their own troubles that poor Nancy Blake died a month ago of acute pneumonia
well I didnt know her so well as all that she was Floeys friend more than
mine its a bother having to answer he always tells me the wrong things and
no stops to say like making a speech your sad bereavement sympathy I always
make that mistake and newphew with 2 double yous in I hope hell write me a
longer letter the next time if its a thing he really likes me O thanks be to
the great God I got somebody to give me what I badly wanted to put some
heart up into me youve no chances at all in this place like you used long
ago I wish somebody would write me a love-letter his wasnt much and I told
him he could write what he liked yours ever Hugh Boylan in Old Madrid silly
women believe love is sighing I am dying still if he wrote it I suppose
thered be some truth in it true or no it fills up your whole day and life
always something to think about every moment and see it all around you like
a new world I could write the answer in bed to let him imagine me short just
a few words not those long crossed letters Atty Dillon used to write to the
fellow that was something in the four courts that jilted her after out of
the ladies letterwriter when I told her to say a few simple words he could
twist how he liked not acting with precipit precipitancy with equal candour
the greatest earthly happiness answer to a gentlemans proposal affirmatively
my goodness theres nothing else its all very fine for them but as for being
a woman as soon as youre old they might as well throw you out in the bottom
of the ash pit.
Mulveys was the first when I was in bed that morning and Mrs Rubio
brought it in with the coffee she stood there standing when I asked her to
hand me and I pointing at them I couldnt think of the word a hairpin to open
it with ah horquilla disobliging old thing and it staring her in the face
with her switch of false hair on her and vain about her appearance ugly as
she was near 80 or a 100 her face a mass of wrinkles with all her religion
domineering because she never could get over the Atlantic fleet coming in
half the ships of the world and the Union Jack flying with all her
carabineros because 4 drunken English sailors took all the rock from them
and because I didnt run into mass often enough in Santa Maria to please her
with her shawl up on her except when there was a marriage on with all her
miracles of the saints and her black blessed virgin with the silver dress
and the sun dancing 3 times on Easter Sunday morning and when the priest was
going by with the bell bringing the vatican to the dying blessing herself
for his Majestad an admirer he signed it I near jumped out of my skin I
wanted to pick him up when I saw him following me along the Calle Real in
the shop window then he tipped me just in passing I never thought hed write
making an appointment I had it inside my petticoat bodice all day reading it
up in every hole and corner while father was up at the drill instructing to
find out by the handwriting or the language of stamps singing I remember
shall I wear a white rose and I wanted to put on the old stupid clock to
near the time he was the first man kissed me under the Moorish wall my
sweetheart when a boy it never entered my head what kissing meant till he
put his tongue in my mouth his mouth was sweetlike young I put my knee up to
him a few times to learn the way what did I tell him I was engaged for fun
to the son of a Spanish nobleman named Don Miguel de la Flora and he
believed that I was to be married to him in 3 years time theres many a true
word spoken in jest there is a flower that bloometh a few things I told him
true about myself just for him to be imagining the Spanish girls he didnt
like I suppose one of them wouldnt have him I got him excited he crushed all
the flowers on my bosom he brought me he couldnt count the pesetas and the
perragordas till I taught him Cappoquin he came from he said on the
Blackwater but it was too short then the day before he left May yes it was
May when the infant king of Spain was born Im always like that in the spring
Id like a new fellow every year up on the tiptop under the rockgun near
OHaras tower I told him it was struck by lightning and all about the old
Barbary apes they sent to Clapham without a tail careering all over the show
on each others back Mrs Rubio said she was a regular old rock scorpion
robbing the chickens out of Inces farm and throw stones at you if you went
anear he was looking at me I had that white blouse on open at the front to
encourage him as much as I could without too openly they were just beginning
to be plump I said I was tired we lay over the firtree cove a wild place I
suppose it must be the highest rock in existence the galleries and casemates
and those frightful rocks and Saint Michaels cave with the icicles or
whatever they call them hanging down and ladders all the mud plotching my
boots Im sure thats the way down the monkeys go under the sea to Africa when
they die the ships out far like chips that was the Malta boat passing Yes
the sea and the sky you could do what you liked lie there for ever he
caressed them outside they love doing that its the roundness there I was
leaning over him with my white ricestraw hat to take the newness out of it
the left side of my face the best my blouse open for his last day
transparent kind of shirt he had I could see his chest pink he wanted to
touch mine with his for a moment but I wouldn't let him he was awfully put
out first for fear you never know consumption or leave me with a child
embarazada that old servant Ines told me that one drop even if it got into
you at all after I tried with the Banana but I was afraid it might break and
get lost up in me somewhere yes because they once took something down out of
a woman that was up there for years covered with limesalts theyre all mad to
get in there where they come out of youd think they could never get far
enough up and then theyre done with you in a way till the next time yes
because theres a wonderful feeling there all the time so tender how did we
finish it off yes O yes I pulled him off into my handkerchief pretending not
to be excited but I opened my legs I wouldnt let him touch me inside my
petticoat I had a skirt opening up the side I tortured the life out of him
first tickling him I loved rousing that dog in the hotel rrrsssst
awokwokawok his eyes shut and a bird flying below us he was shy all the same
I liked him like that morning I made him blush a little when I got over him
that way when I unbuttoned him and took his out and drew back the skin it
had a kind of eye in it theyre all Buttons men down the middle on the wrong
side of them Molly darling he called me what was his name Jack Joe Harry
Mulvey was it yes I think a lieutenant he was rather fair he had a laughing
kind of a voice so I went around to the whatyoucallit everything was
whatyoucallit moustache had he he said hed come back Lord its just like
yesterday to me and if I was married hed do it to me and I promised him yes
faithfully Id let him block me now flying perhaps hes dead or killed or a
Captain or admiral its nearly 20 years if I said firtree cove he would if he
came up behind me and put his hands over my eyes to guess who I might
recognise him hes young still about 40 perhaps hes married some girl on the
black water and is quite changed they all do they havent half the character
a woman has she little knows what I did with her beloved husband before he
ever dreamt of her in broad daylight too in the sight of the whole world you
might say they could have put an article about it in the Chronicle I was a
bit wild after when I blew out the old bag the biscuits were in from Benady
Bros and exploded it Lord what a bang all the woodcocks and pigeons
screaming coming back the same way that we went over middle hill round by
the old guardhouse and the jews burial place pretending to read out the
Hebrew on them I wanted to fire his pistol he said he hadnt one he didnt
know what to make of me with his peaked cap on that he always wore crooked
as often as I settled it straight H M S Calypso swinging my hat that old
Bishop that spoke off the altar his long preach about womans higher
functions about girls now riding the bicycle and wearing peak caps and the
new woman bloomers God send him sense and me more money I suppose theyre
called after him I never thought that would be my name Bloom when I used to
write it in print to see how it looked on a visiting card or practising for
the butcher and oblige M Bloom youre looking blooming Josie used to say
after I married him well its better than Breen or Briggs does brig or those
awful names with bottom in them Mrs Ramsbottom or some other kind of a
bottom Mulvey I wouldnt go mad about either or suppose I divorced him Mrs
Boylan my mother whoever she was might have given me a nicer name the Lord
knows after the lovely one she had Lunita Laredo the fun we had running
along Willis road to Europa point twisting in and out all round the other
side of Jersey they were shaking and dancing about in my blouse like Millys
little ones now when she runs up the stairs I loved looking down at them I
was jumping up at the pepper trees and the white poplars pulling the leaves
off and throwing them at him he went to India he was to write the voyages
those men have to make to the ends of the world and back its the least they