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gazing and crazing and blazing at the stars. Compree! She wants her wardrobe
to hear from above by return with cash so as she can buy her Peter Robinson
trousseau and cut a dash with Arty, Bert or possibly Charley Chance (who
knows?) so tolloll Mr Hunker you're too dada for me to dance (so off she
goes !) and that's how half the gels in town has got their bottom drars
while grumpapar he's trying to hitch his braces on to his trars. But old
grum he's not so clean dippy between sweet you and yum (not on your life,
boy! not in those trousers! not by a large jugful!) for someplace on the
sly,where Furphy he isn't by, old grum has his gel number two (bravevow, our
Grum!) and he would like to canoodle her too some part of the time for he is
downright fond of his number one but O he's fair mashed on peaches number
two so that if he could only canoodle the two, chivee chivoo, all three
would feel genuinely happy, it's as simple as A. B. C., the two mixers, we
mean, with their cherrybum chappy (for he is simply shamming dippy) if they
all were afloat in a dreamlifeboat, hugging two by two in his
zoo-doo-you-doo, a tofftoff for thee, missymissy for me and
howcameyou-e'enso for Farber, in his tippy, upindown dippy, tiptoptippy
canoodle, can you? Finny.
Ack, ack, ack. With which clap, trap and soddenment, three to a loaf,
our mutual friends the fender and the bottle at the gate seem to be
implicitly in the same bateau, so to singen, bearing also several of the
earmarks of design, for there is in fact no use in putting a tooth in a
snipery of that sort and the amount of all those sort of things which has
been going on onceaday in and twiceaday out every other nachtistag among all
kinds of promiscious individuals at all ages in private homes and reeboos
publikiss and allover all and elsewhere throughout secular sequence the
country over and overabroad has been particularly stupendous. To be
continued. Federals' Uniteds' Transports' Unions' for Exultations' of
Triumphants' Ecstasies.
But resuming inquiries. Will it ever be next morning the postal
unionist's (officially called carrier's, Letters Scotch, Limited) strange
fate (Fierceendgiddyex he's hight, d.e., the losel that hucks around
missivemaids' gummibacks) to hand in a huge chain envelope, written in seven
divers stages of ink, from blanchessance to lavandaiette, every pothook and
pancrook bespaking the wisherwife, superscribed and subpencilled by yours A
Laughable Party, with afterwite, S.A.G., to Hyde and Cheek, Edenberry,
Dubblenn, WC? Will whatever will be written in lappish language with
inbursts of Maggyer always seem semposed, black looking white and white
guarding black, in that siamixed twoatalk used twist stern swift and jolly
roger? Will it bright upon us, nightle, and we plunging to our plight? Well,
it might now, mircle, so it light. Always and ever till Cox's wife, twice
Mrs Hahn, pokes her beak into the matter with Owen K. after her, to see
whawa smutter after, will this kiribis pouch filled with litterish fragments
lurk dormant in the paunch of that halpbrother of a herm, a pillarbox?
The coffin, a triumph of the illusionist's art, at first blench
naturally taken for a handharp (it is handwarp to tristinguish jubabe from
jabule or either from tubote when all three have just been invened) had been
removed from the hardware premises of Oetzmann and Nephew, a noted house of
the gonemost west, which in the natural course of all things continues to
supply funeral requisites of every needed description. Why needed, though?
Indeed needed (wouldn't you feel like rattanfowl if you hadn't the oscar!)
because the flash brides or bride in their lily boleros one games with at
the Nivynubies' finery ball and your upright grooms that always come right
up with you (and by jingo when they do!) what else in this mortal world, now
ours, when meet there night, mid their nackt, me there naket, made their
nought the hour strikes, would bring them rightcame back in the flesh,
thumbs down, to their orses and their hashes.
To proceed. We might leave that nitrience of oxagiants to take its free
of the air and just analectralyse that very chymerical combination, the
gasbag where the warderworks. And try to pour somour heiterscene up
thealmostfere. In the bottled heliose case continuing, Long Lally Tobkids,
the special, sporting a fine breast of medals, and a conscientious
scripturereader to boot in the brick and tin choorch round the coroner,
swore like a Norewheezian tailliur on the stand before the proper
functionary that he was up against a right querrshnorrt of a mand in the
butcher of the blues who, he guntinued, on last epening after delivering
some carcasses mattonchepps and meatjutes on behalf of Messrs Otto Sands and
Eastman, Limericked, Victuallers, went and, with his unmitigated
astonissment, hickicked at the dun and dorass against all the runes and,
when challenged about the pretended hick (it was kickup and down with him)
on his solemn by the imputant imputed, said simply: I appop pie oath,
Phillyps Captain. You did, as I sostressed before. You are deepknee in
error, sir, Madam Tomkins, let me then tell you, replied with a
gentlewomanly salaam MackPartland, (the meatman's family, and the oldest in
the world except nick, name.) And Phelps was flayful with his peeler. But
his phizz fell.
Now to the obverse. From velveteens to dimities is barely a fivefinger
span and hence these camelback excesses are thought to have been instigated
by one or either of the causing causes of all, those rushy hollow heroines
in their skirtsleeves, be she magretta be she the posque. Oh! Oh! Because it
is a horrible thing to have to say to say to day but one dilalah, Lupita
Lorette, shortly after in a fit of the unexpectednesses drank carbolic with
all her dear placid life before her and paled off while the other soiled
dove that's her sister-in-love, Luperca Latouche, finding one day while
dodging chores that she stripped teasily for binocular man and that her
jambs were jimpjoyed to see each other, the nautchy girly soon found her
fruitful hat too small for her and rapidly taking time,look,she rapidly took
to necking, partying and selling her spare favours in the haymow or in
lumber closets or in the greenawn ad huck (there are certain intimacies in
all ladies' lavastories we just lease to imagination) or in the sweet
churchyard close itself for a bit of soft coal or an array of thin trunks,
serving whom in fine that same hot coney a la Zingara which our own little
Graunya of the chilired cheeks dished up to the greatsire of Oscar, that son
of a Coole. Houri of the coast of emerald, arrah of the lacessive poghue,
Aslim-all-Muslim, the resigned to her surrender, did not she, come
leinster's even, true dotter of a dearmud, (her pitch was Forty Steps and
his perch old Cromwell's Quarters) with so valkirry a licence as sent many a
poor pucker packing to perdition, again and again, ay, and again sfidare
him, tease fido, eh tease fido, eh eh tease fido, toos topples topple, stop,
dug of a dog of a dgiaour, ye! Angealousmei! And did not he, like Arcoforty,
farfar off Bissavolo, missbrand her behaveyous with iridescent huecry of
down right mean false sop lap sick dope? Tawfulsdreck! A reine of the shee,
a shebeen quean, a queen of pranks. A kingly man, of royal mien, regally
robed, exalted be his glory! So gave so take: Now not, not now! He would
just a min. Suffering trumpet! He thought he want. Whath? Hear, O hear,
living of the land! Hungreb, dead era, hark! He hea, eyes ravenous on her
lippling lills. He hear her voi of day gon by. He hears! Zay, zay, zay! But,
by the beer of his profit, he cannot answer. Upterputty till rise and shine!
Nor needs none shaft ne stele from Phenicia or Little Asia to obelise on the
spout, neither pobalclock neither folksstone, nor sunkenness in Tomar's Wood
to bewray how erpressgangs score off the rued. The mouth that tells not will
ever attract the unthinking tongue and so long as the obseen draws theirs
which hear not so long till allearth's dumbnation shall the blind lead the
deaf. Tatcho, tawney yeeklings! The column of lumps lends the pattrin of the
leaves behind us. If violence to life, limb and chattels, often as not, has
been the expression, direct or through an agent male, of womanhid offended,
(ah! ah!), has not levy of black mail from the times the fairies were in it,
and fain for wilde erthe blothoms followed an impressive private reputation
for whispered sins?
Now by memory inspired, turn wheel again to the whole of the wall.
Where Gyant Blyant fronts Peannlueamoore There was once upon a wall and a
hooghoog wall a was and such a wallhole did exist. Ere ore or ire in
Aaarlund. Or you Dair's Hair or you Diggin Mosses or your horde of orts and
oriorts to garble a garthen of Odin and the lost paladays when all the
eddams ended with aves. Armen? The doun is theirs and still to see for
menags if he strikes a lousaforitch and we'll come to those baregazed
shoeshines if you just shoodov a second. And let oggs be good old gaggles
and Isther Estarr play Yesther Asterr. In the drema of Sorestost Areas,
Diseased. A stonehinged gate then was for another thing while the
suroptimist had bought and enlarged that shack under fair rental of one
yearlyng sheep, (prime) value of sixpence, and one small yearlyng goat
(cadet) value of eightpence, to grow old and happy (hogg it and kidd him)
for the reminants of his years; and when everything was got up for the
purpose he put an applegate on the place by no means as some pretext a
bedstead in loo thereof to keep out donkeys (the pigdirt hanging from the
jags to this hour makes that clear) and just thenabouts the iron gape, by
old custom left open to prevent the cats from getting at the gout, was
triplepatlockt on him on purpose by his faithful poorters to keep him inside
probably and possibly enaunter he felt like sticking out his chest too far
and tempting gracious providence by a stroll on the peoplade's eggday,
unused as he was yet to being freely clodded.
O, by the by, lets wee brag of praties, it ought to be always
remembered in connection with what has gone before that there was a
northroomer, Herr Betreffender, out for his zimmer holedigs, digging in
number 32 at the Rum and Puncheon (Branch of Dirty Dick's free house) in
Laxlip (where the Sockeye Sammons were stopping at the time orange fasting)
prior to that, a Kommerzial (Gorbotipacco, he was wreaking like Zentral
Oylrubber) from Osterich, the U.S.E. paying (Gaul save the mark!) II/- in
the week (Gosh, these wholly romads!) of conscience money in the first deal
of Yuly wheil he was, swishing beesnest with blessure,and swobbing broguen
eeriesh myth brockendootsch, making his reporterage on Der Fall Adams for
the Frankofurto Siding, a Fastland payrodicule, and er, consstated that one
h,ad on him the Lynn O'Brien, a meltoned lammswolle, disturbed, and wider he
might the same zurichschicken other he would, with tosend and obertosend
tonnowatters, one monkey's damages become. Now you must know, franksman, to
make a heart of glass, that the game of gaze and bandstand butchery was
merely a Patsy O'Strap tissue of threats and obuses such as roebucks raugh
at pinnacle's peak and after this sort. Humphrey's unsolicited visitor, Davy
or Titus, on a burgley's clan march from the middle west, a hikely excellent
crude man about road who knew his Bullfoost Mountains like a starling bierd,
after doing a long dance untidled to Cloudy Green, deposend his bockstump on
the waityoumaywantme, after having blew some quaker's (for you! Oates!) in
through the houseking's keyhole to attract attention, bleated through the
gale outside which the tairor of his clothes was hogcallering, first, be the
hirsuiter, that he would break his bulsheywigger's head for him, next, be
the heeltapper, that he would break the gage over his lankyduckling head the
same way he would crack a nut with a monkeywrench and, last of all, be the
stirabouter, that he would give him his (or theumperom's or anybloody
else's) thickerthanwater to drink and his bleday steppebrodhar's into the
bucket. He demanded more wood alcohol to pitch in with, alleging that his
granfather's was all taxis and that it was only after ten o'connell, and
this his isbar was a public oven for the sake of irsk irskusky, and then,
not easily discouraged, opened the wrathfloods of his atillarery and went on
at a wicked rate, weathering against him in mooxed metaphores from eleven
thirty to two in the afternoon without even a luncheonette interval for
House, son of Clod, to come out, you jewbeggar, to be Executed Amen.
Earwicker, that patternmind, that paradigmatic ear, receptoretentive as his
of Dionysius, longsuffering although whitening under restraint in the
sititout corner of his conservatory, behind faminebuilt walls, his thermos
flask and ripidian flabel by his side and a walrus whiskerbristle for a
tuskpick, compiled, while he mourned the flight of his wild guineese, a long
list (now feared in part lost) to be kept on file of all abusive names he
was called (we have been compelled for the rejoicement of foinne loidies ind
the humours of Milltown etcetera by Josephine Brewster in the collision
known as Contrastations with Inkermann and so on and sononward, lacies in
loo water, flee, celestials, one clean turv): Firstnighter, Informer, Old
Fruit, Yellow Whigger, Wheatears, Goldy Geit, Bogside Beauty, Yass We've Had
His Badannas, York's Porker, Funnyface, At Baggotty's Bend He Bumped, Grease
with the Butter, Opendoor Ospices, Cainandabler, Ireland's Eighth Wonderful
Wonder, Beat My Price, Godsoilman, Moonface the Murderer, Hoary Hairy Hoax,
Midnight Sunburst, Remove that Bible, Hebdromadary Publocation, Tummer the
Lame the Tyrannous, Blau Clay, Tight before Teatime, Real Your Pantojoke,
Acoustic Disturbance, Thinks He's Gobblasst the Good Dook of Ourguile,
W.D.'s Grace, Gibbering Bayamouth of Dublin, His Farther was a Mundzucker
and She had him in a Growler, Burnham and Bailey, Artist, Unworthy of the
Homely Protestant Religion, Terry Cotter, You're Welcome to Waterfood,
signed the Ribbonmen, Lobsterpot Lardling, All for Arthur of this Town,
Hooshed the Cat from the Bacon, Leathertogs Donald, The Ace and Deuce of
Paupering, O'Reilly's Delights to Kiss the Man behind the Borrel, Magogagog,
Swad Puddlefoot, Gouty Ghibeline, Loose Luther, Hatches Cocks' Eggs, Muddle
the Plan, Luck before Wedlock, I Divorce Thee Husband, Tanner and a Make, Go
to Hellena or Come to Connies, Piobald Puffpuff His Bride, Purged out of
Burke's, He's None of Me Causin, Barebarean, Peculiar Person, Grunt Owl's
Facktotem, Twelve Months Aristocrat, Lycanthrope, Flunkey Beadle Vamps the
Tune Letting on He's Loney, Thunder and Turf Married into Clandorf, Left
Boot Sent on Approval, Cumberer of Lord's Holy Ground, Stodge Arschmann,
Awnt Yuke, Tommy Furlong's Pet Plagues, Archdukon Cabbanger, Last Past the
Post, Kennealey Won't Tell Thee off Nancy's Gown, Scuttle to Cover, Salary
Grab, Andy Mac Noon in Annie's Room, Awl Out, Twitchbratschballs, Bombard
Street Bester, Sublime Porter, A Ban for Le King of the Burgaans and a Bom
for Ye Sur of all the Ruttledges, O'Phelim's Cutprice, And at Number Wan Wan
Wan, What He Done to Castlecostello, Sleeps with Feathers end Ropes, It is
Known who Sold Horace the Rattler, Enclosed find the Sons of Fingal, Swayed
in his Falling, Wants a Wife and Forty of Them, Let Him Do the Fair,
Apeegeequanee Chimmuck, Plowp Goes his Whastle, Ruin of the Small Trader,
He---- Milkinghoneybeaverbrooker, Vee was a Vindner, Sower Rapes, Armenian
Atrocity, Sickfish Bellyup, Edomite,--'Man Devoyd of the Commoner
Characteristics of an Irish Nature, Bad Humborg, Hraabhraab, Coocoohandler,
Dirt, Miching Daddy, Born Burst Feet Foremost, Woolworth's Worst, Easyathic
Phallusaphist, Guilteypig's Bastard, Fast in the Barrel, Boose in the Bed,
Mister Fatmate, In Custody of the Polis, Boawwll's Alocutionist, Deposed,
but anarchistically respectsful of the liberties of the noninvasive
individual, did not respond a solitary wedgeword beyond such sedentarity,
though it was as easy as kissanywhere for the passive resistant in the booth
he was in to reach for the hello gripes and ring up Kimmage Outer 17.67,
because, as the fundamentalist explained, when at last shocked into speech,
touchin his woundid feelins in the fuchsiar the dominican mission for the
sowsealist potty was on at the time and he thought the rowmish devowtion
known as the howly rowsary might reeform ihm, Gonn. That more than
considerably unpleasant bullocky before he rang off drunkishly pegged a few
glatt stones, all of a size, by way of final mocks for his grapes, at the
wicket in support of his words that he was not guilphy but, after he had so
slaunga vollayed, reconnoitring through his semisubconscious the seriousness
of what he might have done had he really polished off his terrible
intentions finally caused him to change the bawling and leave downg the
whole grumus of brookpebbles pangpung and, having sobered up a bit, paces
his groundould diablen lionndub, the flay the flegm, the floedy fleshener,
(purse, purse, pursyfurse, I'll splish the splume of them all!) this
backblocks boor bruskly put out his langwedge and quite quit the paleologic
scene, telling how by his selfdenying ordnance he had left Hyland on the
dissenting table, after exhorting Earwicker or, in slightly modified
phraseology, Messrs or Missrs Earwicker, Seir, his feminisible name of
multitude, to cocoa come outside to Mockerloo out of that for the honour of
Crumlin, with his broody old flishguds, Gog's curse to thim, so as he could
brianslog and burst him all dizzy, you go bail, like Potts Fracture did with
Keddle Flatnose and nobodyatall with Wholyphamous and build rocks over him,
or if he didn't, for two and thirty straws, be Cacao Campbell,he didn't know
what he wouldn't do for him nor nobody else nomore nor him after which,
batell martell, a brisha a milla a stroka a boola, so the rage of Malbruk,
playing on the least change of his manjester's voice, the first heroic
couplet from the fuguall tropical, Opus Elf, Thortytoe: My schemes into
obeyance for This time has had to fall: they bit goodbyte to their thumb
and, his bandol eer his solgier, dripdropdrap on pool or poldier, wishing
the loff a falladelfian in the morning, proceeded with a Hubbleforth slouch
in his slips backwords (Et Cur Heli!) in the directions of the duff and demb
institutions about ten or eleven hundred years lurch away in the moonshiny
gorge of Patself on the Bach. Adyoe!
And thus, with this rochelly exetur of Bully Acre, came to close that
last stage in the siegings round our archicitadel which we would like to
recall, if old Nestor Alexis would wink the worth for us, as Bar-le-Duc and
Dog-an-Doras and Bangen-opZoom.
Yed he med leave to many a door beside of Oxmanswold for so witness his
chambered cairns a cloudletlitter silent that are at browse up hill and down
coombe and on eolithostroton, at Howth or at Coolock or even at Enniskerry,
a theory none too rectiline of the evoluation of human society and a
testament of the rocks from all the dead unto some the living. Olivers lambs
we do call them, skatterlings of a stone, and they shall be gathered unto
him, their herd and paladin, as nubilettes to cumule, in that day hwen, same
the lightning lancer of Azava Arthurhonoured (some Finn, some Finn avant!),
he skall wake from earthsleep, haught crested elmer, in his valle of briers
of Greenman's Rise O, (lost leaders live! the heroes return!) and o'er dun
and dale the Wulverulverlord (protect us!) his mighty horn skall roll,
orland, roll.
For in those deyes his Deyus shall ask of Allprohome and call to himm:
Allprohome! And he make answer: Add some. Nor wink nor wunk. Animadiabolum,
mene credidisti mortuum? Silence was in thy faustive halls, O Truiga, when
thy green woods went dry but there will be sounds of manymirth on the
night's ear ringing when our pantriarch of Comestowntonobble gets the
pullover on his boots.
Liverpoor? Sot a bit of it! His braynes coolt parritch, his pelt nassy,
his heart's adrone, his bluidstreams acrawl, his puff but a piff, his
extremeties extremely so: Fengless, Pawmbroke, Chilblaimend and Baldowl.
Humph is in his doge. Words weigh no no more to him than raindrips to
Rethfernhim. Which we all like. Rain. When we sleep. Drops. But wait until
our sleeping. Drain. Sdops.
As the lion,in our teargarten remembers the nenuphars of his Nile
(shall Ariuz forget Arioun or Boghas the baregams of the Marmarazalles from
Marmeniere?) it may be, tots wearsense full a naggin in twentyg have
sigilposted what in our brievingbust, the besieged bedreamt him stil and
solely of those lililiths undeveiled which hat undone him, gone for age, and
knew not the watchful treachers at his wake, and theirs to stay. Fooi, fooi,
chamermissies! Zeepyzoepy, larcenlads! Zijnzijn Zijnzijn! It may be, we
moest ons hasten selves te declareer it, that he reglimmed? presaw? the
fields of heat and yields of wheat where corngold Ysit? shamed and shone. It
may be, we habben to upseek a bitty door our good township's courants want
we knew't, that with his deepseeing insight (had not wishing oftebeen but
good time wasted), within his patriarchal shamanah, broadsteyne 'bove citie
(Twillby! Twillby!) he conscious of enemies, a kingbilly whitehorsed in a
Finglas mill, prayed, as he sat on anxious seat, (kunt ye neat gift mey toe
bout a peer saft eyballds !) during that three and a hellof hours' agony of
silence, ex profundis malorum, and bred with unfeigned charity that his
wordwounder (an engles to the teeth who, nomened Nash of Girahash,would go
anyold where in the weeping world on his mottled belly (the rab, the
kreeponskneed!) for milk, music or married missusses) might,mercy to
providential benevolence's who hates prudencies' astuteness, unfold into the
first of a distinguished dynasty of his posteriors, blackfaced connemaras
not of the fold but elder children of his household, his most besetting of
ideas ( pace his twolve predamanant passions) being the formation, as in
more favoured climes, where the Meadow of Honey is guestfriendly and the
Mountain of Joy receives, of a truly criminal stratum, Ham's cribcracking
yeggs, thereby at last eliminating from all classes and masses with directly
derivative decasualisation: sigarius (sic!) vindicat urbes terrorum
(sicker!): and so, to mark a bank taal she arter, the obedience of the
citizens elp the ealth of the ole.
Now gode. Let us leave theories there and return to here's here. Now
hear. 'Tis gode again. The teak coffin, Pughglasspanelfitted, feets to the
east, was to turn in later, and pitly patly near the porpus, materially
effecting the cause. And this, liever, is the thinghowe. Any number of
conservative public bodies, through a number of select and other committees
having power to add to their number, before voting themselves and himself,
town, port and garrison, by a fit and proper resolution, following a koorts
order of the groundwet, once for all out of plotty existence, as a forescut,
so you maateskippey might to you cuttinrunner on a neuw pack of klerds, made
him, while his body still persisted, their present of a protem grave in
Moyelta of the best Lough Neagh pattern, then as much in demand among
misonesans as the Isle of Man today among limniphobes. Wacht even! It was in
a fairly fishy kettlekerry, after the Fianna's foreman had taken his
handful, enriched with ancient woods and dear dutchy deeplinns mid which
were an old knoll and a troutbeck, vainyvain of her osiery and a chatty
sally with any Wilt or Walt who would ongle her as Izaak did to the tickle
of his rod and watch her waters of her sillying waters of and there now
brown peater arripple (may their quilt gild lightly over his somnolulutent
form!) Whoforyou lies his last, by the wrath of Bog, like the erst curst Hun
in the bed of his treubleu Donawhu.
Best. This wastohavebeen underground heaven, or mole's paradise which
was probably also an inversion of a phallopharos, intended to foster wheat
crops and to ginger up tourist trade (its architecht, Mgr Peurelachasse,
having been obcaecated lest he should petrifake suchanevver while the
contractors Messrs T. A. Birkett and L. O. Tuohalls were made invulnerably
venerable) first in the west, our misterbilder, Castlevillainous, openly
damned and blasted by means of a hydromine, system,Sowan and Belting,
exploded from a reinvented T.N.T. bombingpost up ahoy of eleven and thirty
wingrests (circiter) to sternbooard out of his aerial thorpeto, Auton
Dynamon, contacted with the expectant minefield by tins of improved ammonia
lashed to her shieldplated gunwale, and fused into tripupcables, slipping
through tholse and playing down from the conning tower into the ground
battery fuseboxes, all differing as clocks from keys since nobody appeared
to have the same time of beard, some saying by their Oorlog it was
Sygstryggs to nine, more holding with the Ryan vogt it was Dane to pfife. He
afterwards whaanever his blaetther began to fail off him and his rough bark
was wholly husky and, stoop by stoop, he neared it (wouldmanspare!)
carefully lined the ferroconcrete result with rotproof bricks and mortar,
fassed to fossed, and retired beneath the heptarchy of his towerettes, the
beauchamp, byward, bull and lion, the white, the wardrobe and bloodied, so
encouraging (insteppen, alls als hats beliefd!) additional useful councils
public with hoofd offdealings which were welholden of ladykants te huur out
such as the Breeders' Union, the Guild of Merchants of the Staple et, a.u.c.
to present unto him with funebral pomp, over and above that, a stone slab
with the usual Mac Pelah address of velediction, a very fairworded instance
of falsemeaning adamelegy: We have done ours gohellt with you, Heer
Herewhippit, overgiven it, skidoo!
But t'house and allaboardshoops ! Show coffins, winding sheets, goodbuy
bierchepes, cinerary urns, liealoud blasses, snuffchests, poteentubbs,
lacrimal vases, hoodendoses, reekwaterbeckers, breakmiddles, zootzaks for
eatlust, including upyourhealthing rookworst and meathewersoftened
forkenpootsies and for that matter, javel also, any kind of inhumationary
bric au brac for the adornment of his glasstone honophreum, would, met these
trein of konditiens, naturally follow, halas, in the ordinary course,
enabling that roundtheworlder wandelingswight, did suches pass him, to live
all safeathomely the presenile days of his life of opulence, ancient ere
decrepitude, late lents last lenience, till stuffering stage, whaling away
the whole of the while (hypnos chilia eonion!) lethelulled between explosion
and reexplosion (Donnaurwatteur! Hunderthunder!) from grosskopp to megapod,
embalmed, of grand age, rich in death anticipated.
But abide Zeit's sumonserving, rise afterfall. Blueblitzbolted from
there, knowing the hingeworms of the hallmirks of habitationlesness, buried
burrowing in Gehinnon, to proliferate through all his Unterwealth, seam by
seam, sheol om sheol, and revisit our Uppercrust Sideria of Utilitarios, the
divine one, the hoarder hidden propaguting his plutorpopular progeniem of
pots and pans and pokers and puns from biddenland to boughtenland, the
spearway fore the spoorway.
The other spring offensive on the heights of Abraham may have come
about all quite by accidence, Foughtarundser (for Breedabrooda had at length
presuaded him to have himself to be as septuply buried as the murdered Cian
in Finntown), had not been three monads in his watery grave (what vigilantes
and ridings then and spuitwyne pledges with aardappel frittling!) when
portrifaction, dreyfussed as ever, began to ramp, ramp, ramp, the boys are
parching. A hoodenwinkle gave the signal and a blessing paper freed the
flood. Why did the patrizien make him scares with his gruntens? Because the
druiven were muskating at the door. From both Celtiberian camps (granting at
the onset for the sake of argument that men on the two sides in New South
Ireland and Vetera Uladh, bluemin and pillfaces, during the ferment With the
Pope or On the Pope, had, moors or letts, grant ideas, grunted) all
conditions, poor cons and dives mor, each, of course, on the purely
doffensive since the eternals were owlwise on their side every time, were
drawn toowards their Bellona's Black Bottom, once Woolwhite's Waltz (Ohiboh,
how becrimed, becursekissed and bedumbtoit!) some for want of proper feeding
in youth, others already caught in the honourable act of slicing careers for
family and carvers in conjunction; and, if emaciated nough, the person
garrotted may have suggested to whomever he took the ham of, the plain being
involved in darkness, low cirque waggery, nay, even the first old wugger of
himself in the flesh, whiggissimus incarnadined, when falsesighted by the
ifsuchhewas bully on the hill for there had circulated freely fairly among
his opposition the feeling that in so hibernating Massa Ewacka, who,
previous to that demidetached life, had been known of barmicidal days, cook
said, between soups and savours, to get outside his own length of rainbow
trout and taerts atta tarn as no man of woman born, nay could, like the
great crested brebe, devour his threescoreten of roach per lifeday, ay, and
as many minnow a minute (the big mix, may Gibbet choke him !) was, like the
salmon of his ladderleap all this time of totality secretly and by suckage
feeding on his own misplaced fat.
Ladies did not disdain those pagan ironed times of the firs; city
(called after the ugliest Danadune) when a frond was a friend inneed to
carry, as earwigs do their dead, their soil to the earthball where indeeth
we shall calm decline, our legacy unknown. Venuses were gigglibly
temptatrix, vulcans guffawably eruptious and the whole wives' world frockful
of fickles. Fact, any human inyon you liked any erenoon or efter would take
her bare godkin out, or an even pair of hem, (lugod ! lugodoo !) and
prettily pray with him (or with em even) everyhe to her taste, long for
luck, tapette and tape petter and take pettest of all. (Tip!) Wells she'd
woo and wills she's win but how the deer knowed where she'd marry! Arbour,
bucketroom, caravan, ditch? Coach, carriage, wheelbarrow, dungcart?
Kate Strong, a widow (Tiptip!)--she pulls a lane picture for us, in a
dreariodreama setting, glowing and very vidual, of old dumplan as she nosed
it, a homelike cottage of elvanstone with droppings of biddies, stinkend
pusshies, moggies' duggies, rotten witchawubbles, festering rubbages and
beggars' bullets, if not worse, sending salmofarious germs in gleefully
through the smithereen panes--Widow Strong, then, as her weaker had turned
him to the wall (Tiptiptip!), did most all the scavenging from good King
Hamlaugh's gulden dayne though her lean besom cleaned but sparingly and her
bare statement reads that, there being no macadamised sidetracks on those
old nekropolitan nights in, barring a footbatter, Bryant's Causeway,
bordered with speedwell, white clover and sorrel a wood knows, which left
off, being beaten, where the plaintiff was struck, she left down, as
scavengers, who will be scavengers must, her filthdump near the Serpentine
in Phornix Park (at her time called Finewell's Keepsacre but later
tautaubapptossed Pat's Purge), that dangerfield circling butcherswood where
fireworker oh flaherty engaged a nutter of castlemallards and ah for archer
stunned's turk, all over which fossil footprints, bootmarks, fingersigns,
elbowdints, breechbowls, a. s. o. were all successively traced of a most
envolving description. What subtler timeplace of the weald than such
wolfsbelly castrament to will hide a leabhar from Thursmen's brandihands or
a loveletter, lostfully hers, that would be lust on Ma, than then when
ructions ended, than here where race began: and by four hands of forethought
the first babe of reconcilement is laid in its last cradle of hume sweet
hume. Give over it! And no more of it! So pass the pick for child sake! O
men!
For hear Allhighest sprack for krischnians as for propagana fidies and
his nuptial eagles sharped their beaks of prey: and every morphyl man of us,
pome by pome, falls back into this terrine: as it was let it be, says he!
And it is as though where Agni araflammed and Mithra monished and Shiva slew
as mayamutras the obluvial waters of our noarchic memory withdrew, windingly
goharksome, to some hastyswasty timberman torchpriest, flamenfan, the ward
of the wind that lightened the fire that lay in the wood that Jove bolt, at
his rude word. Posidonius O'Fluctuary! Lave that bloody stone as it is! What
are you doing your dirty minx and his big treeblock way up your path? Slip
around, you, by the rare of the ministers'! And, you, take that barrel back
where you got it, Mac Shane's, and go the way your old one went,
Hatchettsbury Road! And gish! how they gushed away, the pennyfares, a whole
school for scamper, with their sashes flying sish behind them, all the
little pirlypettes! Issy-la-Chapelle! Any lucans, please?
Yes, the viability of vicinals if invisible is invincible. And we are
not trespassing on his corns either. Look at all the plotsch! Fluminian! If
this was Hannibal's walk it was Hercules' work. And a hungried thousand of
the unemancipated slaved the way. The mausoleum lies behind us (O Adgigasta,
multipopulipater!) and there are milestones in their cheadmilias faultering
along the tramestrack by Brahm and Anton Hermes! Per omnibus secular
seekalarum. Amain. But the past has made us this present of a rhedarhoad. So
more boher O'Connell! Though rainyhidden, you're rhinohide. And if he's not
a Romeo you may scallop your hat. Wereupunder in the fane of Saint Fiacre !
Halte !
It was hard by the howe's there, plainly on this disoluded and a buchan
cold spot, rupestric then, resurfaced that now is, that Luttrell sold if
Lautrill bought, in the saddle of the Brennan's (now Malpasplace?) pass,
versts and versts from true civilisation, not where his dreams top their
traums halt (Beneathere! Benathere!) but where livland yontide meared with
the wilde, saltlea with flood, that the attackler, a cropatkin, though under
medium and between colours with truly native pluck, engaged the Adversary
who had more in his eye than was less to his leg but whom for plunder sake,
he mistook in the heavy rain to be Oglethorpe or some other ginkus, Parr
aparrently, to whom the headandheelless chickenestegg bore some
Michelangiolesque resemblance, making use of sacrilegious languages to the
defect that he would challenge their hemosphores to exterminate them but he
would cannonise the b -- y b -- r's life out of him and lay him out
contritely as smart as the b--r had his b--y nightprayers said, three
patrecknocksters and a couplet of hellmuirries (tout est sacr pour un
sacreur, femme ... barbe ou homme-nourrice) at the same time, so as to plugg
well let the blubbywail ghoats out of him, catching holst of an oblong bar
he had and with which he usually broke furnitures he rose the stick at him.
The boarder incident prerepeated itself. The pair (whethertheywere
Nippoluono engaging Wei-Ling-Taou or de Razzkias trying to reconnoistre the
general Boukeleff, man may not say), struggled apairently for some
considerable time, (the cradle rocking equally to one and oppositely from
the other on its law of capture and recapture), under the All In rules
around the booksafe, fighting like purple top and tipperuhry Swede,
(Secremented Servious of the Divine Zeal !) and in the course of their
tussle the toller man, who had opened his bully bowl to beg, said to the
miner who was carrying the worm (a handy term for the portable distillery
which consisted of three vats, two jars and several bottles though we
purposely say nothing of the stiff, both parties having an interest in the
spirits): Let me go, Pautheen! I hardly knew ye. Later on, after the
solstitial pause for refleshmeant, the same man (or a different and younger
him of the same ham) asked in the vermicular with a very oggly
chew-chin-grin: Was six victolios fifteen pigeon takee offa you, tell he me,
stlongfella, by picky-pocky ten to foul months behindaside? There were some
further collidabanter and severe tries to convert for the best part of an
hour and now a woden affair in the shape of a webley (we at once recognise
our old friend Ned of so many illortemporate letters) fell from the intruser
who, as stuck as that cat to that mouse in that tube of that christchurch
organ, (did the imnage of Girl Cloud Pensive flout above them light young
charm, in ribbons and pigtail?) whereupon became friendly and, saying not
his shirt to tear, to know wanted, joking and knobkerries, all aside laying,
if his change companion who stuck still to the invention of his strongbox,
with a tenacity corrobberating their mutual tenitorial rights, happened to
have the loots change of a tenpound crickler about him at the moment,
addling that hap so, he would pay him back the six vics odd, do you see, out
of that for what was taken on the man of samples last Yuni or Yuly, do you
follow me, Capn? To this the other, Billi with the Boule, who had mummed and
mauled up to that (for he was hesitency carried to excelcism) rather
amusedly replied: Woowoo would you be grossly surprised, Hill, to learn
that, as it so happens, I honestly have not such a thing as the loo, as the
least chance of a tinpanned crackler anywhere about me at the present
mohomoment but I believe I can see my way, as you suggest, it being Yuletide
or Yuddanfest and as it's mad nuts, son, for you when it's hatter's hares,
mon, for me, to advance you something like four and sevenpence between
hopping ar_d trapping which you might just as well have, boy baches, to buy
J. J. and S. with. There was a minute silence before memory's fire's
rekindling and then. Heart alive ! Which at very first wind of gay gay and
whiskwigs wick's ears pricked up, the starving gunman, strike him pink,
became strangely calm and forthright sware by all his lards porsenal that
the thorntree of sheol might ramify up his Sheofon to the lux apointlex but
he would go good to him suntime marx my word fort, for a chip off the old
Flint, (in the Nichtian glossery which purveys aprioric roots for
aposteriorious tongues this is nat language at any sinse of the world and
one might as fairly go and kish his sprogues as fail to certify whether the
wartrophy eluded at some lives earlier was that somethink like a jug, to
what, a coctable) and remarxing in languidoily, seemingly much more highly
pleased than tongue could tell at this opening of a lifetime and the
foretaste of the Dun Bank pearlmothers and the boy to wash down which he
would feed to himself in the Ruadh Cow at Tallaght and then into the Good
Woman at Ringsend and after her inat Conway's Inn at Blackrock and, first to
fall, cursed be all, where appetite would keenest be, atte, funeral fare or
fun fain real, Adam and Eve's in Quantity Street by the grace of gamy queen
Tailte, her will and testament: You stunning little southdowner! I'd know
you anywhere, Declaney, let me truthfully tell you in or out of the
lexinction of life and who the hell else, be your blanche patch on the boney
part! Goalball I've struck this daylit dielate night of nights, by golly! My
hat, you have some bully German grit, sundowner! He spud in his faust
(axin); he toped the raw best (pardun); he poked his pick (a tip is a tap):
and he tucked his friend's leave.And, with French hen or the portlifowlium
of hastes and leisures, about to continue that,the queer mixture exchanged
the pax in embrace or poghue puxy as practised between brothers of the same
breast, hillelulia, killelulia, allenalaw, and, having ratified before the
god of the day their torgantruce which belittlers have schmallkalled the
treatyng to cognac, turning his fez menialstrait in the direction of Moscas,
he first got rid of a few mitsmillers and hurooshoos and levanted off with
tubular jurbulance at a bull's run over the assback bridge,spitting his
teeths on rooths,with the seven and four in danegeld and their humoral
hurlbat or other uncertain weapon of lignum vitae, but so evermore
rhumanasant of a toboggan poop, picked up to keep some crowplucking
appointment with some rival rialtos anywheres between Pearidge and the
Littlehorn while this poor delaney, who they left along with the confederate
fender behind and who albeit ballsbluffed, bore up wonderfully wunder all of
it with a whole number of plumsized contusiums, plus alasalah bruised
coccyx, all over him, reported the occurance in the best way he could, to
the flabbergaze of the whole lab, giving the Paddybanners the military
salute as for his exilicy's the O'Daffy, in justifiable hope that, in
nobiloroman review of the hugely sitisfactuary conclusium of their
negotiations and the jugglemonkysh agripment deinderivative, some lotion or
fomentation of poppyheads would be jennerously exhibited to the parts, at
the nearest watchhouse in Vicar Lane, the white ground of his face all
covered with digonally redcrossed nonfatal mammalian blood as proofpositive
of the seriousness of his character and that he was bleeding in self
defience (stanch it!) from the nostrils, lips, pavilion and palate, while
some of his hitter's hairs had been pulled off his knut's head by Colt
though otherwise his allround health appeared to be middling along as it
proved most fortunate that not one of the two hundred and six bones and five
hundred and one muscles in his corso was a whit the whorse for her whacking.
Herwho?
Nowthen, leaving clashing ash, brawn and muscle and brassmade to oust
earthernborn and rockcrystal to wreck isinglass but wurming along gradually
for our savings backtowards motherwaters so many miles from bank and Dublin
stone (olympiading even till the eleventh dynasty to reach that
thuddysickend Hamlaugh) and to the question of boney's unlawfully obtaining
a pierced paraflamme and claptrap fireguard there crops out the still more
salient point of the politish leanings and town pursuits of our forebeer, El
Don De Dunelli, (may his ship thicked stick in the bottol of the river and
all his crewsers stock locked in the burral of the seas!) who, when within
the black of your toenail, sir, of being mistakenly ambushed by one of the
uddahveddahs, and as close as made no matter, mam, to being kayoed offhand
when the hyougono heckler with the Peter the Painter wanted to hole him, was
consistently practising the first of the primary and imprescriptible
liberties of the pacific subject by circulating (be British, boys to your
bellybone and chuck a chum a chance!) alongst one of our umphrohibited
semitary thrufahrts, open to buggy and bike, to walk, Wellington Park road,
with the curb or quaker's quacknostrum under his auxter and his alpenstuck
in his redhand, a highly commendable exercise, or, number two of our acta
legitima plebeia, on the brink (beware to baulk a man at his will!) of
taking place upon a public seat, to what, bare by Butt's, most easterly (but
all goes west!) of blackpool bridges, as a public protest and naturlikevice,
without intent to annoy either, being praisegood thankfully for the
wrathbereaved ringdove and the fearstung boaconstrictor and all the more
right jollywell pleased, which he was, at having other people's weather.
But to return to the atlantic and Phenitia Proper. As if that were not
to be enough for anyone but little headway, if any, was made in solving the
wasnottobe crime cunundrum when a child of Maam, Festy King, of a family
long and honourably associated with the tar and feather industries, who gave
an address in old plomansch Mayo of the Saxons in the heart of a foulfamed
potheen district, was subsequently haled up at the Old Bailey on the calends
of Mars, under an incompatibly framed indictment of both the counts (from
each equinoxious points of view, the one fellow's fetch being the other
to hear from above by return with cash so as she can buy her Peter Robinson
trousseau and cut a dash with Arty, Bert or possibly Charley Chance (who
knows?) so tolloll Mr Hunker you're too dada for me to dance (so off she
goes !) and that's how half the gels in town has got their bottom drars
while grumpapar he's trying to hitch his braces on to his trars. But old
grum he's not so clean dippy between sweet you and yum (not on your life,
boy! not in those trousers! not by a large jugful!) for someplace on the
sly,where Furphy he isn't by, old grum has his gel number two (bravevow, our
Grum!) and he would like to canoodle her too some part of the time for he is
downright fond of his number one but O he's fair mashed on peaches number
two so that if he could only canoodle the two, chivee chivoo, all three
would feel genuinely happy, it's as simple as A. B. C., the two mixers, we
mean, with their cherrybum chappy (for he is simply shamming dippy) if they
all were afloat in a dreamlifeboat, hugging two by two in his
zoo-doo-you-doo, a tofftoff for thee, missymissy for me and
howcameyou-e'enso for Farber, in his tippy, upindown dippy, tiptoptippy
canoodle, can you? Finny.
Ack, ack, ack. With which clap, trap and soddenment, three to a loaf,
our mutual friends the fender and the bottle at the gate seem to be
implicitly in the same bateau, so to singen, bearing also several of the
earmarks of design, for there is in fact no use in putting a tooth in a
snipery of that sort and the amount of all those sort of things which has
been going on onceaday in and twiceaday out every other nachtistag among all
kinds of promiscious individuals at all ages in private homes and reeboos
publikiss and allover all and elsewhere throughout secular sequence the
country over and overabroad has been particularly stupendous. To be
continued. Federals' Uniteds' Transports' Unions' for Exultations' of
Triumphants' Ecstasies.
But resuming inquiries. Will it ever be next morning the postal
unionist's (officially called carrier's, Letters Scotch, Limited) strange
fate (Fierceendgiddyex he's hight, d.e., the losel that hucks around
missivemaids' gummibacks) to hand in a huge chain envelope, written in seven
divers stages of ink, from blanchessance to lavandaiette, every pothook and
pancrook bespaking the wisherwife, superscribed and subpencilled by yours A
Laughable Party, with afterwite, S.A.G., to Hyde and Cheek, Edenberry,
Dubblenn, WC? Will whatever will be written in lappish language with
inbursts of Maggyer always seem semposed, black looking white and white
guarding black, in that siamixed twoatalk used twist stern swift and jolly
roger? Will it bright upon us, nightle, and we plunging to our plight? Well,
it might now, mircle, so it light. Always and ever till Cox's wife, twice
Mrs Hahn, pokes her beak into the matter with Owen K. after her, to see
whawa smutter after, will this kiribis pouch filled with litterish fragments
lurk dormant in the paunch of that halpbrother of a herm, a pillarbox?
The coffin, a triumph of the illusionist's art, at first blench
naturally taken for a handharp (it is handwarp to tristinguish jubabe from
jabule or either from tubote when all three have just been invened) had been
removed from the hardware premises of Oetzmann and Nephew, a noted house of
the gonemost west, which in the natural course of all things continues to
supply funeral requisites of every needed description. Why needed, though?
Indeed needed (wouldn't you feel like rattanfowl if you hadn't the oscar!)
because the flash brides or bride in their lily boleros one games with at
the Nivynubies' finery ball and your upright grooms that always come right
up with you (and by jingo when they do!) what else in this mortal world, now
ours, when meet there night, mid their nackt, me there naket, made their
nought the hour strikes, would bring them rightcame back in the flesh,
thumbs down, to their orses and their hashes.
To proceed. We might leave that nitrience of oxagiants to take its free
of the air and just analectralyse that very chymerical combination, the
gasbag where the warderworks. And try to pour somour heiterscene up
thealmostfere. In the bottled heliose case continuing, Long Lally Tobkids,
the special, sporting a fine breast of medals, and a conscientious
scripturereader to boot in the brick and tin choorch round the coroner,
swore like a Norewheezian tailliur on the stand before the proper
functionary that he was up against a right querrshnorrt of a mand in the
butcher of the blues who, he guntinued, on last epening after delivering
some carcasses mattonchepps and meatjutes on behalf of Messrs Otto Sands and
Eastman, Limericked, Victuallers, went and, with his unmitigated
astonissment, hickicked at the dun and dorass against all the runes and,
when challenged about the pretended hick (it was kickup and down with him)
on his solemn by the imputant imputed, said simply: I appop pie oath,
Phillyps Captain. You did, as I sostressed before. You are deepknee in
error, sir, Madam Tomkins, let me then tell you, replied with a
gentlewomanly salaam MackPartland, (the meatman's family, and the oldest in
the world except nick, name.) And Phelps was flayful with his peeler. But
his phizz fell.
Now to the obverse. From velveteens to dimities is barely a fivefinger
span and hence these camelback excesses are thought to have been instigated
by one or either of the causing causes of all, those rushy hollow heroines
in their skirtsleeves, be she magretta be she the posque. Oh! Oh! Because it
is a horrible thing to have to say to say to day but one dilalah, Lupita
Lorette, shortly after in a fit of the unexpectednesses drank carbolic with
all her dear placid life before her and paled off while the other soiled
dove that's her sister-in-love, Luperca Latouche, finding one day while
dodging chores that she stripped teasily for binocular man and that her
jambs were jimpjoyed to see each other, the nautchy girly soon found her
fruitful hat too small for her and rapidly taking time,look,she rapidly took
to necking, partying and selling her spare favours in the haymow or in
lumber closets or in the greenawn ad huck (there are certain intimacies in
all ladies' lavastories we just lease to imagination) or in the sweet
churchyard close itself for a bit of soft coal or an array of thin trunks,
serving whom in fine that same hot coney a la Zingara which our own little
Graunya of the chilired cheeks dished up to the greatsire of Oscar, that son
of a Coole. Houri of the coast of emerald, arrah of the lacessive poghue,
Aslim-all-Muslim, the resigned to her surrender, did not she, come
leinster's even, true dotter of a dearmud, (her pitch was Forty Steps and
his perch old Cromwell's Quarters) with so valkirry a licence as sent many a
poor pucker packing to perdition, again and again, ay, and again sfidare
him, tease fido, eh tease fido, eh eh tease fido, toos topples topple, stop,
dug of a dog of a dgiaour, ye! Angealousmei! And did not he, like Arcoforty,
farfar off Bissavolo, missbrand her behaveyous with iridescent huecry of
down right mean false sop lap sick dope? Tawfulsdreck! A reine of the shee,
a shebeen quean, a queen of pranks. A kingly man, of royal mien, regally
robed, exalted be his glory! So gave so take: Now not, not now! He would
just a min. Suffering trumpet! He thought he want. Whath? Hear, O hear,
living of the land! Hungreb, dead era, hark! He hea, eyes ravenous on her
lippling lills. He hear her voi of day gon by. He hears! Zay, zay, zay! But,
by the beer of his profit, he cannot answer. Upterputty till rise and shine!
Nor needs none shaft ne stele from Phenicia or Little Asia to obelise on the
spout, neither pobalclock neither folksstone, nor sunkenness in Tomar's Wood
to bewray how erpressgangs score off the rued. The mouth that tells not will
ever attract the unthinking tongue and so long as the obseen draws theirs
which hear not so long till allearth's dumbnation shall the blind lead the
deaf. Tatcho, tawney yeeklings! The column of lumps lends the pattrin of the
leaves behind us. If violence to life, limb and chattels, often as not, has
been the expression, direct or through an agent male, of womanhid offended,
(ah! ah!), has not levy of black mail from the times the fairies were in it,
and fain for wilde erthe blothoms followed an impressive private reputation
for whispered sins?
Now by memory inspired, turn wheel again to the whole of the wall.
Where Gyant Blyant fronts Peannlueamoore There was once upon a wall and a
hooghoog wall a was and such a wallhole did exist. Ere ore or ire in
Aaarlund. Or you Dair's Hair or you Diggin Mosses or your horde of orts and
oriorts to garble a garthen of Odin and the lost paladays when all the
eddams ended with aves. Armen? The doun is theirs and still to see for
menags if he strikes a lousaforitch and we'll come to those baregazed
shoeshines if you just shoodov a second. And let oggs be good old gaggles
and Isther Estarr play Yesther Asterr. In the drema of Sorestost Areas,
Diseased. A stonehinged gate then was for another thing while the
suroptimist had bought and enlarged that shack under fair rental of one
yearlyng sheep, (prime) value of sixpence, and one small yearlyng goat
(cadet) value of eightpence, to grow old and happy (hogg it and kidd him)
for the reminants of his years; and when everything was got up for the
purpose he put an applegate on the place by no means as some pretext a
bedstead in loo thereof to keep out donkeys (the pigdirt hanging from the
jags to this hour makes that clear) and just thenabouts the iron gape, by
old custom left open to prevent the cats from getting at the gout, was
triplepatlockt on him on purpose by his faithful poorters to keep him inside
probably and possibly enaunter he felt like sticking out his chest too far
and tempting gracious providence by a stroll on the peoplade's eggday,
unused as he was yet to being freely clodded.
O, by the by, lets wee brag of praties, it ought to be always
remembered in connection with what has gone before that there was a
northroomer, Herr Betreffender, out for his zimmer holedigs, digging in
number 32 at the Rum and Puncheon (Branch of Dirty Dick's free house) in
Laxlip (where the Sockeye Sammons were stopping at the time orange fasting)
prior to that, a Kommerzial (Gorbotipacco, he was wreaking like Zentral
Oylrubber) from Osterich, the U.S.E. paying (Gaul save the mark!) II/- in
the week (Gosh, these wholly romads!) of conscience money in the first deal
of Yuly wheil he was, swishing beesnest with blessure,and swobbing broguen
eeriesh myth brockendootsch, making his reporterage on Der Fall Adams for
the Frankofurto Siding, a Fastland payrodicule, and er, consstated that one
h,ad on him the Lynn O'Brien, a meltoned lammswolle, disturbed, and wider he
might the same zurichschicken other he would, with tosend and obertosend
tonnowatters, one monkey's damages become. Now you must know, franksman, to
make a heart of glass, that the game of gaze and bandstand butchery was
merely a Patsy O'Strap tissue of threats and obuses such as roebucks raugh
at pinnacle's peak and after this sort. Humphrey's unsolicited visitor, Davy
or Titus, on a burgley's clan march from the middle west, a hikely excellent
crude man about road who knew his Bullfoost Mountains like a starling bierd,
after doing a long dance untidled to Cloudy Green, deposend his bockstump on
the waityoumaywantme, after having blew some quaker's (for you! Oates!) in
through the houseking's keyhole to attract attention, bleated through the
gale outside which the tairor of his clothes was hogcallering, first, be the
hirsuiter, that he would break his bulsheywigger's head for him, next, be
the heeltapper, that he would break the gage over his lankyduckling head the
same way he would crack a nut with a monkeywrench and, last of all, be the
stirabouter, that he would give him his (or theumperom's or anybloody
else's) thickerthanwater to drink and his bleday steppebrodhar's into the
bucket. He demanded more wood alcohol to pitch in with, alleging that his
granfather's was all taxis and that it was only after ten o'connell, and
this his isbar was a public oven for the sake of irsk irskusky, and then,
not easily discouraged, opened the wrathfloods of his atillarery and went on
at a wicked rate, weathering against him in mooxed metaphores from eleven
thirty to two in the afternoon without even a luncheonette interval for
House, son of Clod, to come out, you jewbeggar, to be Executed Amen.
Earwicker, that patternmind, that paradigmatic ear, receptoretentive as his
of Dionysius, longsuffering although whitening under restraint in the
sititout corner of his conservatory, behind faminebuilt walls, his thermos
flask and ripidian flabel by his side and a walrus whiskerbristle for a
tuskpick, compiled, while he mourned the flight of his wild guineese, a long
list (now feared in part lost) to be kept on file of all abusive names he
was called (we have been compelled for the rejoicement of foinne loidies ind
the humours of Milltown etcetera by Josephine Brewster in the collision
known as Contrastations with Inkermann and so on and sononward, lacies in
loo water, flee, celestials, one clean turv): Firstnighter, Informer, Old
Fruit, Yellow Whigger, Wheatears, Goldy Geit, Bogside Beauty, Yass We've Had
His Badannas, York's Porker, Funnyface, At Baggotty's Bend He Bumped, Grease
with the Butter, Opendoor Ospices, Cainandabler, Ireland's Eighth Wonderful
Wonder, Beat My Price, Godsoilman, Moonface the Murderer, Hoary Hairy Hoax,
Midnight Sunburst, Remove that Bible, Hebdromadary Publocation, Tummer the
Lame the Tyrannous, Blau Clay, Tight before Teatime, Real Your Pantojoke,
Acoustic Disturbance, Thinks He's Gobblasst the Good Dook of Ourguile,
W.D.'s Grace, Gibbering Bayamouth of Dublin, His Farther was a Mundzucker
and She had him in a Growler, Burnham and Bailey, Artist, Unworthy of the
Homely Protestant Religion, Terry Cotter, You're Welcome to Waterfood,
signed the Ribbonmen, Lobsterpot Lardling, All for Arthur of this Town,
Hooshed the Cat from the Bacon, Leathertogs Donald, The Ace and Deuce of
Paupering, O'Reilly's Delights to Kiss the Man behind the Borrel, Magogagog,
Swad Puddlefoot, Gouty Ghibeline, Loose Luther, Hatches Cocks' Eggs, Muddle
the Plan, Luck before Wedlock, I Divorce Thee Husband, Tanner and a Make, Go
to Hellena or Come to Connies, Piobald Puffpuff His Bride, Purged out of
Burke's, He's None of Me Causin, Barebarean, Peculiar Person, Grunt Owl's
Facktotem, Twelve Months Aristocrat, Lycanthrope, Flunkey Beadle Vamps the
Tune Letting on He's Loney, Thunder and Turf Married into Clandorf, Left
Boot Sent on Approval, Cumberer of Lord's Holy Ground, Stodge Arschmann,
Awnt Yuke, Tommy Furlong's Pet Plagues, Archdukon Cabbanger, Last Past the
Post, Kennealey Won't Tell Thee off Nancy's Gown, Scuttle to Cover, Salary
Grab, Andy Mac Noon in Annie's Room, Awl Out, Twitchbratschballs, Bombard
Street Bester, Sublime Porter, A Ban for Le King of the Burgaans and a Bom
for Ye Sur of all the Ruttledges, O'Phelim's Cutprice, And at Number Wan Wan
Wan, What He Done to Castlecostello, Sleeps with Feathers end Ropes, It is
Known who Sold Horace the Rattler, Enclosed find the Sons of Fingal, Swayed
in his Falling, Wants a Wife and Forty of Them, Let Him Do the Fair,
Apeegeequanee Chimmuck, Plowp Goes his Whastle, Ruin of the Small Trader,
He---- Milkinghoneybeaverbrooker, Vee was a Vindner, Sower Rapes, Armenian
Atrocity, Sickfish Bellyup, Edomite,--'Man Devoyd of the Commoner
Characteristics of an Irish Nature, Bad Humborg, Hraabhraab, Coocoohandler,
Dirt, Miching Daddy, Born Burst Feet Foremost, Woolworth's Worst, Easyathic
Phallusaphist, Guilteypig's Bastard, Fast in the Barrel, Boose in the Bed,
Mister Fatmate, In Custody of the Polis, Boawwll's Alocutionist, Deposed,
but anarchistically respectsful of the liberties of the noninvasive
individual, did not respond a solitary wedgeword beyond such sedentarity,
though it was as easy as kissanywhere for the passive resistant in the booth
he was in to reach for the hello gripes and ring up Kimmage Outer 17.67,
because, as the fundamentalist explained, when at last shocked into speech,
touchin his woundid feelins in the fuchsiar the dominican mission for the
sowsealist potty was on at the time and he thought the rowmish devowtion
known as the howly rowsary might reeform ihm, Gonn. That more than
considerably unpleasant bullocky before he rang off drunkishly pegged a few
glatt stones, all of a size, by way of final mocks for his grapes, at the
wicket in support of his words that he was not guilphy but, after he had so
slaunga vollayed, reconnoitring through his semisubconscious the seriousness
of what he might have done had he really polished off his terrible
intentions finally caused him to change the bawling and leave downg the
whole grumus of brookpebbles pangpung and, having sobered up a bit, paces
his groundould diablen lionndub, the flay the flegm, the floedy fleshener,
(purse, purse, pursyfurse, I'll splish the splume of them all!) this
backblocks boor bruskly put out his langwedge and quite quit the paleologic
scene, telling how by his selfdenying ordnance he had left Hyland on the
dissenting table, after exhorting Earwicker or, in slightly modified
phraseology, Messrs or Missrs Earwicker, Seir, his feminisible name of
multitude, to cocoa come outside to Mockerloo out of that for the honour of
Crumlin, with his broody old flishguds, Gog's curse to thim, so as he could
brianslog and burst him all dizzy, you go bail, like Potts Fracture did with
Keddle Flatnose and nobodyatall with Wholyphamous and build rocks over him,
or if he didn't, for two and thirty straws, be Cacao Campbell,he didn't know
what he wouldn't do for him nor nobody else nomore nor him after which,
batell martell, a brisha a milla a stroka a boola, so the rage of Malbruk,
playing on the least change of his manjester's voice, the first heroic
couplet from the fuguall tropical, Opus Elf, Thortytoe: My schemes into
obeyance for This time has had to fall: they bit goodbyte to their thumb
and, his bandol eer his solgier, dripdropdrap on pool or poldier, wishing
the loff a falladelfian in the morning, proceeded with a Hubbleforth slouch
in his slips backwords (Et Cur Heli!) in the directions of the duff and demb
institutions about ten or eleven hundred years lurch away in the moonshiny
gorge of Patself on the Bach. Adyoe!
And thus, with this rochelly exetur of Bully Acre, came to close that
last stage in the siegings round our archicitadel which we would like to
recall, if old Nestor Alexis would wink the worth for us, as Bar-le-Duc and
Dog-an-Doras and Bangen-opZoom.
Yed he med leave to many a door beside of Oxmanswold for so witness his
chambered cairns a cloudletlitter silent that are at browse up hill and down
coombe and on eolithostroton, at Howth or at Coolock or even at Enniskerry,
a theory none too rectiline of the evoluation of human society and a
testament of the rocks from all the dead unto some the living. Olivers lambs
we do call them, skatterlings of a stone, and they shall be gathered unto
him, their herd and paladin, as nubilettes to cumule, in that day hwen, same
the lightning lancer of Azava Arthurhonoured (some Finn, some Finn avant!),
he skall wake from earthsleep, haught crested elmer, in his valle of briers
of Greenman's Rise O, (lost leaders live! the heroes return!) and o'er dun
and dale the Wulverulverlord (protect us!) his mighty horn skall roll,
orland, roll.
For in those deyes his Deyus shall ask of Allprohome and call to himm:
Allprohome! And he make answer: Add some. Nor wink nor wunk. Animadiabolum,
mene credidisti mortuum? Silence was in thy faustive halls, O Truiga, when
thy green woods went dry but there will be sounds of manymirth on the
night's ear ringing when our pantriarch of Comestowntonobble gets the
pullover on his boots.
Liverpoor? Sot a bit of it! His braynes coolt parritch, his pelt nassy,
his heart's adrone, his bluidstreams acrawl, his puff but a piff, his
extremeties extremely so: Fengless, Pawmbroke, Chilblaimend and Baldowl.
Humph is in his doge. Words weigh no no more to him than raindrips to
Rethfernhim. Which we all like. Rain. When we sleep. Drops. But wait until
our sleeping. Drain. Sdops.
As the lion,in our teargarten remembers the nenuphars of his Nile
(shall Ariuz forget Arioun or Boghas the baregams of the Marmarazalles from
Marmeniere?) it may be, tots wearsense full a naggin in twentyg have
sigilposted what in our brievingbust, the besieged bedreamt him stil and
solely of those lililiths undeveiled which hat undone him, gone for age, and
knew not the watchful treachers at his wake, and theirs to stay. Fooi, fooi,
chamermissies! Zeepyzoepy, larcenlads! Zijnzijn Zijnzijn! It may be, we
moest ons hasten selves te declareer it, that he reglimmed? presaw? the
fields of heat and yields of wheat where corngold Ysit? shamed and shone. It
may be, we habben to upseek a bitty door our good township's courants want
we knew't, that with his deepseeing insight (had not wishing oftebeen but
good time wasted), within his patriarchal shamanah, broadsteyne 'bove citie
(Twillby! Twillby!) he conscious of enemies, a kingbilly whitehorsed in a
Finglas mill, prayed, as he sat on anxious seat, (kunt ye neat gift mey toe
bout a peer saft eyballds !) during that three and a hellof hours' agony of
silence, ex profundis malorum, and bred with unfeigned charity that his
wordwounder (an engles to the teeth who, nomened Nash of Girahash,would go
anyold where in the weeping world on his mottled belly (the rab, the
kreeponskneed!) for milk, music or married missusses) might,mercy to
providential benevolence's who hates prudencies' astuteness, unfold into the
first of a distinguished dynasty of his posteriors, blackfaced connemaras
not of the fold but elder children of his household, his most besetting of
ideas ( pace his twolve predamanant passions) being the formation, as in
more favoured climes, where the Meadow of Honey is guestfriendly and the
Mountain of Joy receives, of a truly criminal stratum, Ham's cribcracking
yeggs, thereby at last eliminating from all classes and masses with directly
derivative decasualisation: sigarius (sic!) vindicat urbes terrorum
(sicker!): and so, to mark a bank taal she arter, the obedience of the
citizens elp the ealth of the ole.
Now gode. Let us leave theories there and return to here's here. Now
hear. 'Tis gode again. The teak coffin, Pughglasspanelfitted, feets to the
east, was to turn in later, and pitly patly near the porpus, materially
effecting the cause. And this, liever, is the thinghowe. Any number of
conservative public bodies, through a number of select and other committees
having power to add to their number, before voting themselves and himself,
town, port and garrison, by a fit and proper resolution, following a koorts
order of the groundwet, once for all out of plotty existence, as a forescut,
so you maateskippey might to you cuttinrunner on a neuw pack of klerds, made
him, while his body still persisted, their present of a protem grave in
Moyelta of the best Lough Neagh pattern, then as much in demand among
misonesans as the Isle of Man today among limniphobes. Wacht even! It was in
a fairly fishy kettlekerry, after the Fianna's foreman had taken his
handful, enriched with ancient woods and dear dutchy deeplinns mid which
were an old knoll and a troutbeck, vainyvain of her osiery and a chatty
sally with any Wilt or Walt who would ongle her as Izaak did to the tickle
of his rod and watch her waters of her sillying waters of and there now
brown peater arripple (may their quilt gild lightly over his somnolulutent
form!) Whoforyou lies his last, by the wrath of Bog, like the erst curst Hun
in the bed of his treubleu Donawhu.
Best. This wastohavebeen underground heaven, or mole's paradise which
was probably also an inversion of a phallopharos, intended to foster wheat
crops and to ginger up tourist trade (its architecht, Mgr Peurelachasse,
having been obcaecated lest he should petrifake suchanevver while the
contractors Messrs T. A. Birkett and L. O. Tuohalls were made invulnerably
venerable) first in the west, our misterbilder, Castlevillainous, openly
damned and blasted by means of a hydromine, system,Sowan and Belting,
exploded from a reinvented T.N.T. bombingpost up ahoy of eleven and thirty
wingrests (circiter) to sternbooard out of his aerial thorpeto, Auton
Dynamon, contacted with the expectant minefield by tins of improved ammonia
lashed to her shieldplated gunwale, and fused into tripupcables, slipping
through tholse and playing down from the conning tower into the ground
battery fuseboxes, all differing as clocks from keys since nobody appeared
to have the same time of beard, some saying by their Oorlog it was
Sygstryggs to nine, more holding with the Ryan vogt it was Dane to pfife. He
afterwards whaanever his blaetther began to fail off him and his rough bark
was wholly husky and, stoop by stoop, he neared it (wouldmanspare!)
carefully lined the ferroconcrete result with rotproof bricks and mortar,
fassed to fossed, and retired beneath the heptarchy of his towerettes, the
beauchamp, byward, bull and lion, the white, the wardrobe and bloodied, so
encouraging (insteppen, alls als hats beliefd!) additional useful councils
public with hoofd offdealings which were welholden of ladykants te huur out
such as the Breeders' Union, the Guild of Merchants of the Staple et, a.u.c.
to present unto him with funebral pomp, over and above that, a stone slab
with the usual Mac Pelah address of velediction, a very fairworded instance
of falsemeaning adamelegy: We have done ours gohellt with you, Heer
Herewhippit, overgiven it, skidoo!
But t'house and allaboardshoops ! Show coffins, winding sheets, goodbuy
bierchepes, cinerary urns, liealoud blasses, snuffchests, poteentubbs,
lacrimal vases, hoodendoses, reekwaterbeckers, breakmiddles, zootzaks for
eatlust, including upyourhealthing rookworst and meathewersoftened
forkenpootsies and for that matter, javel also, any kind of inhumationary
bric au brac for the adornment of his glasstone honophreum, would, met these
trein of konditiens, naturally follow, halas, in the ordinary course,
enabling that roundtheworlder wandelingswight, did suches pass him, to live
all safeathomely the presenile days of his life of opulence, ancient ere
decrepitude, late lents last lenience, till stuffering stage, whaling away
the whole of the while (hypnos chilia eonion!) lethelulled between explosion
and reexplosion (Donnaurwatteur! Hunderthunder!) from grosskopp to megapod,
embalmed, of grand age, rich in death anticipated.
But abide Zeit's sumonserving, rise afterfall. Blueblitzbolted from
there, knowing the hingeworms of the hallmirks of habitationlesness, buried
burrowing in Gehinnon, to proliferate through all his Unterwealth, seam by
seam, sheol om sheol, and revisit our Uppercrust Sideria of Utilitarios, the
divine one, the hoarder hidden propaguting his plutorpopular progeniem of
pots and pans and pokers and puns from biddenland to boughtenland, the
spearway fore the spoorway.
The other spring offensive on the heights of Abraham may have come
about all quite by accidence, Foughtarundser (for Breedabrooda had at length
presuaded him to have himself to be as septuply buried as the murdered Cian
in Finntown), had not been three monads in his watery grave (what vigilantes
and ridings then and spuitwyne pledges with aardappel frittling!) when
portrifaction, dreyfussed as ever, began to ramp, ramp, ramp, the boys are
parching. A hoodenwinkle gave the signal and a blessing paper freed the
flood. Why did the patrizien make him scares with his gruntens? Because the
druiven were muskating at the door. From both Celtiberian camps (granting at
the onset for the sake of argument that men on the two sides in New South
Ireland and Vetera Uladh, bluemin and pillfaces, during the ferment With the
Pope or On the Pope, had, moors or letts, grant ideas, grunted) all
conditions, poor cons and dives mor, each, of course, on the purely
doffensive since the eternals were owlwise on their side every time, were
drawn toowards their Bellona's Black Bottom, once Woolwhite's Waltz (Ohiboh,
how becrimed, becursekissed and bedumbtoit!) some for want of proper feeding
in youth, others already caught in the honourable act of slicing careers for
family and carvers in conjunction; and, if emaciated nough, the person
garrotted may have suggested to whomever he took the ham of, the plain being
involved in darkness, low cirque waggery, nay, even the first old wugger of
himself in the flesh, whiggissimus incarnadined, when falsesighted by the
ifsuchhewas bully on the hill for there had circulated freely fairly among
his opposition the feeling that in so hibernating Massa Ewacka, who,
previous to that demidetached life, had been known of barmicidal days, cook
said, between soups and savours, to get outside his own length of rainbow
trout and taerts atta tarn as no man of woman born, nay could, like the
great crested brebe, devour his threescoreten of roach per lifeday, ay, and
as many minnow a minute (the big mix, may Gibbet choke him !) was, like the
salmon of his ladderleap all this time of totality secretly and by suckage
feeding on his own misplaced fat.
Ladies did not disdain those pagan ironed times of the firs; city
(called after the ugliest Danadune) when a frond was a friend inneed to
carry, as earwigs do their dead, their soil to the earthball where indeeth
we shall calm decline, our legacy unknown. Venuses were gigglibly
temptatrix, vulcans guffawably eruptious and the whole wives' world frockful
of fickles. Fact, any human inyon you liked any erenoon or efter would take
her bare godkin out, or an even pair of hem, (lugod ! lugodoo !) and
prettily pray with him (or with em even) everyhe to her taste, long for
luck, tapette and tape petter and take pettest of all. (Tip!) Wells she'd
woo and wills she's win but how the deer knowed where she'd marry! Arbour,
bucketroom, caravan, ditch? Coach, carriage, wheelbarrow, dungcart?
Kate Strong, a widow (Tiptip!)--she pulls a lane picture for us, in a
dreariodreama setting, glowing and very vidual, of old dumplan as she nosed
it, a homelike cottage of elvanstone with droppings of biddies, stinkend
pusshies, moggies' duggies, rotten witchawubbles, festering rubbages and
beggars' bullets, if not worse, sending salmofarious germs in gleefully
through the smithereen panes--Widow Strong, then, as her weaker had turned
him to the wall (Tiptiptip!), did most all the scavenging from good King
Hamlaugh's gulden dayne though her lean besom cleaned but sparingly and her
bare statement reads that, there being no macadamised sidetracks on those
old nekropolitan nights in, barring a footbatter, Bryant's Causeway,
bordered with speedwell, white clover and sorrel a wood knows, which left
off, being beaten, where the plaintiff was struck, she left down, as
scavengers, who will be scavengers must, her filthdump near the Serpentine
in Phornix Park (at her time called Finewell's Keepsacre but later
tautaubapptossed Pat's Purge), that dangerfield circling butcherswood where
fireworker oh flaherty engaged a nutter of castlemallards and ah for archer
stunned's turk, all over which fossil footprints, bootmarks, fingersigns,
elbowdints, breechbowls, a. s. o. were all successively traced of a most
envolving description. What subtler timeplace of the weald than such
wolfsbelly castrament to will hide a leabhar from Thursmen's brandihands or
a loveletter, lostfully hers, that would be lust on Ma, than then when
ructions ended, than here where race began: and by four hands of forethought
the first babe of reconcilement is laid in its last cradle of hume sweet
hume. Give over it! And no more of it! So pass the pick for child sake! O
men!
For hear Allhighest sprack for krischnians as for propagana fidies and
his nuptial eagles sharped their beaks of prey: and every morphyl man of us,
pome by pome, falls back into this terrine: as it was let it be, says he!
And it is as though where Agni araflammed and Mithra monished and Shiva slew
as mayamutras the obluvial waters of our noarchic memory withdrew, windingly
goharksome, to some hastyswasty timberman torchpriest, flamenfan, the ward
of the wind that lightened the fire that lay in the wood that Jove bolt, at
his rude word. Posidonius O'Fluctuary! Lave that bloody stone as it is! What
are you doing your dirty minx and his big treeblock way up your path? Slip
around, you, by the rare of the ministers'! And, you, take that barrel back
where you got it, Mac Shane's, and go the way your old one went,
Hatchettsbury Road! And gish! how they gushed away, the pennyfares, a whole
school for scamper, with their sashes flying sish behind them, all the
little pirlypettes! Issy-la-Chapelle! Any lucans, please?
Yes, the viability of vicinals if invisible is invincible. And we are
not trespassing on his corns either. Look at all the plotsch! Fluminian! If
this was Hannibal's walk it was Hercules' work. And a hungried thousand of
the unemancipated slaved the way. The mausoleum lies behind us (O Adgigasta,
multipopulipater!) and there are milestones in their cheadmilias faultering
along the tramestrack by Brahm and Anton Hermes! Per omnibus secular
seekalarum. Amain. But the past has made us this present of a rhedarhoad. So
more boher O'Connell! Though rainyhidden, you're rhinohide. And if he's not
a Romeo you may scallop your hat. Wereupunder in the fane of Saint Fiacre !
Halte !
It was hard by the howe's there, plainly on this disoluded and a buchan
cold spot, rupestric then, resurfaced that now is, that Luttrell sold if
Lautrill bought, in the saddle of the Brennan's (now Malpasplace?) pass,
versts and versts from true civilisation, not where his dreams top their
traums halt (Beneathere! Benathere!) but where livland yontide meared with
the wilde, saltlea with flood, that the attackler, a cropatkin, though under
medium and between colours with truly native pluck, engaged the Adversary
who had more in his eye than was less to his leg but whom for plunder sake,
he mistook in the heavy rain to be Oglethorpe or some other ginkus, Parr
aparrently, to whom the headandheelless chickenestegg bore some
Michelangiolesque resemblance, making use of sacrilegious languages to the
defect that he would challenge their hemosphores to exterminate them but he
would cannonise the b -- y b -- r's life out of him and lay him out
contritely as smart as the b--r had his b--y nightprayers said, three
patrecknocksters and a couplet of hellmuirries (tout est sacr pour un
sacreur, femme ... barbe ou homme-nourrice) at the same time, so as to plugg
well let the blubbywail ghoats out of him, catching holst of an oblong bar
he had and with which he usually broke furnitures he rose the stick at him.
The boarder incident prerepeated itself. The pair (whethertheywere
Nippoluono engaging Wei-Ling-Taou or de Razzkias trying to reconnoistre the
general Boukeleff, man may not say), struggled apairently for some
considerable time, (the cradle rocking equally to one and oppositely from
the other on its law of capture and recapture), under the All In rules
around the booksafe, fighting like purple top and tipperuhry Swede,
(Secremented Servious of the Divine Zeal !) and in the course of their
tussle the toller man, who had opened his bully bowl to beg, said to the
miner who was carrying the worm (a handy term for the portable distillery
which consisted of three vats, two jars and several bottles though we
purposely say nothing of the stiff, both parties having an interest in the
spirits): Let me go, Pautheen! I hardly knew ye. Later on, after the
solstitial pause for refleshmeant, the same man (or a different and younger
him of the same ham) asked in the vermicular with a very oggly
chew-chin-grin: Was six victolios fifteen pigeon takee offa you, tell he me,
stlongfella, by picky-pocky ten to foul months behindaside? There were some
further collidabanter and severe tries to convert for the best part of an
hour and now a woden affair in the shape of a webley (we at once recognise
our old friend Ned of so many illortemporate letters) fell from the intruser
who, as stuck as that cat to that mouse in that tube of that christchurch
organ, (did the imnage of Girl Cloud Pensive flout above them light young
charm, in ribbons and pigtail?) whereupon became friendly and, saying not
his shirt to tear, to know wanted, joking and knobkerries, all aside laying,
if his change companion who stuck still to the invention of his strongbox,
with a tenacity corrobberating their mutual tenitorial rights, happened to
have the loots change of a tenpound crickler about him at the moment,
addling that hap so, he would pay him back the six vics odd, do you see, out
of that for what was taken on the man of samples last Yuni or Yuly, do you
follow me, Capn? To this the other, Billi with the Boule, who had mummed and
mauled up to that (for he was hesitency carried to excelcism) rather
amusedly replied: Woowoo would you be grossly surprised, Hill, to learn
that, as it so happens, I honestly have not such a thing as the loo, as the
least chance of a tinpanned crackler anywhere about me at the present
mohomoment but I believe I can see my way, as you suggest, it being Yuletide
or Yuddanfest and as it's mad nuts, son, for you when it's hatter's hares,
mon, for me, to advance you something like four and sevenpence between
hopping ar_d trapping which you might just as well have, boy baches, to buy
J. J. and S. with. There was a minute silence before memory's fire's
rekindling and then. Heart alive ! Which at very first wind of gay gay and
whiskwigs wick's ears pricked up, the starving gunman, strike him pink,
became strangely calm and forthright sware by all his lards porsenal that
the thorntree of sheol might ramify up his Sheofon to the lux apointlex but
he would go good to him suntime marx my word fort, for a chip off the old
Flint, (in the Nichtian glossery which purveys aprioric roots for
aposteriorious tongues this is nat language at any sinse of the world and
one might as fairly go and kish his sprogues as fail to certify whether the
wartrophy eluded at some lives earlier was that somethink like a jug, to
what, a coctable) and remarxing in languidoily, seemingly much more highly
pleased than tongue could tell at this opening of a lifetime and the
foretaste of the Dun Bank pearlmothers and the boy to wash down which he
would feed to himself in the Ruadh Cow at Tallaght and then into the Good
Woman at Ringsend and after her inat Conway's Inn at Blackrock and, first to
fall, cursed be all, where appetite would keenest be, atte, funeral fare or
fun fain real, Adam and Eve's in Quantity Street by the grace of gamy queen
Tailte, her will and testament: You stunning little southdowner! I'd know
you anywhere, Declaney, let me truthfully tell you in or out of the
lexinction of life and who the hell else, be your blanche patch on the boney
part! Goalball I've struck this daylit dielate night of nights, by golly! My
hat, you have some bully German grit, sundowner! He spud in his faust
(axin); he toped the raw best (pardun); he poked his pick (a tip is a tap):
and he tucked his friend's leave.And, with French hen or the portlifowlium
of hastes and leisures, about to continue that,the queer mixture exchanged
the pax in embrace or poghue puxy as practised between brothers of the same
breast, hillelulia, killelulia, allenalaw, and, having ratified before the
god of the day their torgantruce which belittlers have schmallkalled the
treatyng to cognac, turning his fez menialstrait in the direction of Moscas,
he first got rid of a few mitsmillers and hurooshoos and levanted off with
tubular jurbulance at a bull's run over the assback bridge,spitting his
teeths on rooths,with the seven and four in danegeld and their humoral
hurlbat or other uncertain weapon of lignum vitae, but so evermore
rhumanasant of a toboggan poop, picked up to keep some crowplucking
appointment with some rival rialtos anywheres between Pearidge and the
Littlehorn while this poor delaney, who they left along with the confederate
fender behind and who albeit ballsbluffed, bore up wonderfully wunder all of
it with a whole number of plumsized contusiums, plus alasalah bruised
coccyx, all over him, reported the occurance in the best way he could, to
the flabbergaze of the whole lab, giving the Paddybanners the military
salute as for his exilicy's the O'Daffy, in justifiable hope that, in
nobiloroman review of the hugely sitisfactuary conclusium of their
negotiations and the jugglemonkysh agripment deinderivative, some lotion or
fomentation of poppyheads would be jennerously exhibited to the parts, at
the nearest watchhouse in Vicar Lane, the white ground of his face all
covered with digonally redcrossed nonfatal mammalian blood as proofpositive
of the seriousness of his character and that he was bleeding in self
defience (stanch it!) from the nostrils, lips, pavilion and palate, while
some of his hitter's hairs had been pulled off his knut's head by Colt
though otherwise his allround health appeared to be middling along as it
proved most fortunate that not one of the two hundred and six bones and five
hundred and one muscles in his corso was a whit the whorse for her whacking.
Herwho?
Nowthen, leaving clashing ash, brawn and muscle and brassmade to oust
earthernborn and rockcrystal to wreck isinglass but wurming along gradually
for our savings backtowards motherwaters so many miles from bank and Dublin
stone (olympiading even till the eleventh dynasty to reach that
thuddysickend Hamlaugh) and to the question of boney's unlawfully obtaining
a pierced paraflamme and claptrap fireguard there crops out the still more
salient point of the politish leanings and town pursuits of our forebeer, El
Don De Dunelli, (may his ship thicked stick in the bottol of the river and
all his crewsers stock locked in the burral of the seas!) who, when within
the black of your toenail, sir, of being mistakenly ambushed by one of the
uddahveddahs, and as close as made no matter, mam, to being kayoed offhand
when the hyougono heckler with the Peter the Painter wanted to hole him, was
consistently practising the first of the primary and imprescriptible
liberties of the pacific subject by circulating (be British, boys to your
bellybone and chuck a chum a chance!) alongst one of our umphrohibited
semitary thrufahrts, open to buggy and bike, to walk, Wellington Park road,
with the curb or quaker's quacknostrum under his auxter and his alpenstuck
in his redhand, a highly commendable exercise, or, number two of our acta
legitima plebeia, on the brink (beware to baulk a man at his will!) of
taking place upon a public seat, to what, bare by Butt's, most easterly (but
all goes west!) of blackpool bridges, as a public protest and naturlikevice,
without intent to annoy either, being praisegood thankfully for the
wrathbereaved ringdove and the fearstung boaconstrictor and all the more
right jollywell pleased, which he was, at having other people's weather.
But to return to the atlantic and Phenitia Proper. As if that were not
to be enough for anyone but little headway, if any, was made in solving the
wasnottobe crime cunundrum when a child of Maam, Festy King, of a family
long and honourably associated with the tar and feather industries, who gave
an address in old plomansch Mayo of the Saxons in the heart of a foulfamed
potheen district, was subsequently haled up at the Old Bailey on the calends
of Mars, under an incompatibly framed indictment of both the counts (from
each equinoxious points of view, the one fellow's fetch being the other