follow's person) that is to see, flying cushats out of his ouveralls and
making fesses immodst his forces on the field. Oyeh! Oyeh! When the
prisoner, soaked in methylated, appeared in dry dock, appatently
ambrosiaurealised, like Kersse's Korduroy Karikature, wearing, besides
stains, rents and patches, his fight shirt, straw braces, souwester and a
policeman's corkscrew trowswers, all out of the true (as he had purposely
torn up all his cymtrymanx bespokes in the mamertime), deposing for his
exution with all the fluors of sparse in the royal Irish vocabulary how the
whole padderjagmartin tripiezite suet and all the sulfeit of copperas had
fallen off him quatz unaccountably like the chrystalisations of Alum on Even
while he was trying for to stick fire to himcell, (in feacht he was dripping
as he found upon stripping for a pipkin ofmalt as he feared the coold raine)
it was attempted by the crown (P.C. Robort) to show that King, elois
Crowbar, once known as Meleky, impersonating a climbing boy, rubbed some
pixes of any luvial peatsmoor o'er his face, plucks and pussas, with a
clanetourf as the best means of disguising himself and was to the
middlewhite fair in Mudford of a Thoorsday, feishts of Peeler and Pole,
under the illassumed names of Tykingfest and Rabworc picked by him and
Anthony out of a tellafun book, ellegedly with a pedigree pig (unlicensed)
and a hyacinth. They were on that sea by the plain of Ir nine hundred and
ninetynine years and they never cried crack or ceased from regular
paddlewicking till that they landed their two and a trifling selves, amadst
camel and ass, greybeard and suckling, priest and pauper, matrmatron and
merrymeg, into the meddle of the mudstorm. The gathering, convened by the
Irish Angricultural and Prepostoral Ouraganisations, to help the Irish muck
to look his brother dane in the face and attended thanks to Larry by large
numbers, of christies and jew's totems, tospite of the deluge, was
distinctly of a scattery kind when the ballybricken he could get no good of,
after cockofthewalking through a few fancyfought mains ate some of the
doorweg, the pikey later selling the gentleman ratepayer because she,
Francie's sister, that is to say,ate a whole side of his (the animal's) sty,
on a struggle Street, Qui Sta Troia, in order to pay off, hiss or lick, six
doubloons fifteen arrears of his, the villain's not the rumbler's rent.
Remarkable evidence was given, anon, by an eye, ear, nose and throat
witness, whom Wesleyan chapelgoers suspected of being a plain clothes priest
W.P., situate at Nullnull, Medical Square, who, upon letting down his rice
and peacegreen coverdisk and having been sullenly cautioned against yawning
while being grilled, smiled (he had had a onebumper at parting from Mrs
Molroe in the morning) and stated to his eliciter under his morse
mustaccents (gobbless!) that he slept with a bonafides and that he would be
there to remember the filth of November, hatinaring, rowdy O, which, with
the jiboulees of Juno and the dates of ould lanxiety, was going, please the
Rainmaker, to decembs within the ephemerides of profane history, all one
with Tournay, Yetstoslay and Temorah, and one thing which would
pigstickularly strike a person of such sorely tried observational powers as
Sam, him and Moffat, though theirs not to reason why, the striking thing
about it was that he was patrified to see, hear, taste and smell, as his
time of night, how Hyacinth O'Donnell, B.A., described in the calendar as a
mixer and wordpainter, with part of a sivispacem (Gaeltact for dungfork) on
the fair green at the hour of twenty-four o'clock sought (the bullycassidy
of the friedhoffer!) to sack, sock, stab and slaughter singlehanded another
two of the old kings, Gush Mac Gale and Roaring O'Crian, Jr., both
changelings, unlucalised, of no address and in noncommunicables, between him
and whom, ever since wallops before the Mise of Lewes, bad blood existed on
the ground of the boer's trespass on the bull or because he firstparted his
polarbeeber hair in twoways, or because they were creepfoxed andt
grousuppers over a nippy in a noveletta, or because they could not say
meace, (mute and daft) meathe. The litigants, he said, local congsmen and
donalds, kings of the arans and the dalkeys, kings of mud and tory, even the
goat king of Killorglin, were egged on by their supporters in the shape of
betterwomen with bowstrung hair of Carrothagenuine ruddiness, waving crimson
petties and screaming from Isod's towertop. There were cries from the
thicksets in court and from the macdublins on the bohernabreen of: Mind the
bank from Banagher, Mick, sir! Prodooce O'Donner. Ay! Exhibit his relics!
Bu! Use the tongue mor! Give lip less! But it oozed out in Deadman's Dark
Scenery Court through crossexanimation of the casehardened testis that when
and where that knife of knifes the treepartied ambush was laid (roughly
spouting around half hours 'twixt dusk in dawn, by Waterhose's Meddle
Europeic Time, near Stop and Think, high chief evervirens and only
abfalltree in auld the land) there was not as much light from the widowed
moon as would dim a child's altar. The mixer, accordingly, was bluntly
broached, and in the best basel to boot, as to whether he was one of those
lucky cocks for whom the audible-visible-gnosible-edible world existed. That
he was only too cognitively conatively cogitabundantly sure of it because,
living, loving, breathing and sleeping morphomelosophopancreates, as he most
significantly did, whenever he thought he heard he saw he felt he made a
bell clipperclipperclipperclipper. Whether he was practically sure too of
his lugs and truies names in this king and blouseman business? That he was
pediculously so. Certified? As cad could be. Be lying ! Be the lonee I will.
It was Morbus O' Somebody? A'Quite. Szerday's Son? A satyr in weddens. And
how did the greeneyed mister arrive at the B.A.? That it was like his poll.
A crossgrained trapper with murty odd oogs, awflorated ares, inquiline nase
and a twithcherous mouph? He would be. Who could bit you att to a
tenyerdfuul when aastalled? Ballera jobbera. Some majar bore too? Iguines.
And with tumblerous legs, redipnominated Helmingham Erchenwyne Rutter Egbert
Crumwall Odin Maximus Esme Saxon Esa Vercingetorix Ethelwulf Rupprecht
Ydwalla Bentley Osmund Dysart Yggdrasselmann? Holy Saint Eiffel, the very
phoenix! It was Chudley Magnall once more between the deffodates and the
dumb scene? The two childspies waapreesing him auza de Vologue but the
renting of his rock was from the three wicked Vuncouverers Forests bent down
awhits, arthou sure? Yubeti, Cumbilum comes! One of the oxmen's
thingabossers, hvad? And had he been refresqued by the founts of bounty
playing there -- is -- a -- pain -- aleland in Long's gourgling barral? A
loss of Lordedward and a lack of sirphilip a surgeonet showeradown could
suck more gargling bubbles out of the five lamps in Portterand's praise.
Wirrgeling and maries? As whose wouldn't, laving his leaftime in Blackpool.
But, of course, he could call himself Tem, too, if he had time to? You butt
he could anytom. When he pleased? Win and place. A stoker temptated by
evesdripping aginst the driver who was a witness as well? Sacred avatar, how
the devil did they guess it! Two dreamyums in one dromium? Yes and no error.
And both as like as a duel of lentils? Peacisely. So he was pelted out of
the coram populo, was he? Be the powers that be he was. The prince in
principel should not expose his person? Macchevuole! Rooskayman kamerad?
Sooner Gallwegian he would say. Not unintoxicated, fair witness? Drunk as a
fishup. Askt to whether she minded whither he smuked? Not if he barkst into
phlegms. Anent his ajaciulations to his Crosscann Lorne, cossa? It was corso
in cursu on coarser again. The gracious miss was we not doubt sensible how
yellowatty on the forx was altered? That she esually was, O'Dowd me not! As
to his religion, if any? It was the see-you-Sunday sort. Exactly what he
meant by a pederast prig? Bejacob's, just a gent who prayed his lent. And if
middleclassed. portavorous was a usual beast? Bynight as useful as a vomit
to a shorn man. If he had rognarised dtheir gcourts marsheyls? Dthat nday in
ndays he had. Lindendelly, coke or skilllies spell me gart without a gate?
Harlyadrope. The grazing rights (Mrs Magistra Martinetta) expired with the
expiry of the goat's sire, if they were not mistaken? That he exactly could
not tell the worshipfuls but his mother-in-waders had the recipis for the
price of the coffin and that he was there to tell them that herself was the
velocipede that could tell them kitcat. A maundarin tongue in a pounderin
jowl? Father ourder about the mathers of prenanciation. Distributary
endings? And we recommends. Quare hircum? No answer. Unde gentium fe . . . ?
No ah. Are you not danzzling on the age of a vulcano? Siar, I am deed. And
how olld of him? He was intendant to study pulu. Which was meant in a shirt
of two shifts macoghamade or up Finn, threehatted ladder? That a head in
thighs under a bush at the sunface would bait a serpent to a millrace
through the heather. Arm bird colour defdum ethnic fort perharps? Sure and
glomsk handy jotalpheson as well. Hokey jasons, then, in a pigeegeeses? On a
pontiff's order as ture as there's an ital on atac. As a gololy bit to joss?
Leally and tululy. But, why this hankowchaff and whence this second tone,
son-yet-sun? He had the cowtaw in his buxers flay of face. So this that
Solasistras, setting odds evens at defiance, took the laud from Labouriter?
What displaced Tob, Dilke and Halley, not been greatly in love with the
game. And, changing the venders, from the king's head to the republican's
arms, as to the pugnaxities evinxed from flagfall to antepost during the
effrays round fatherthyme's beckside and the regents in the plantsown
raining, with the skiddystars and the morkernwindup, how they appealed to
him then? That it was wildfires night on all the bettygallaghers.
Mickmichael's soords shrieking shrecks through the wilkinses and
neckanicholas' toastingforks pricking prongs up the tunnybladders. Let there
be fight? And there was. Foght. On the site of the Angel's, you said?
Guinney's Gap, he said, between what they said and the pussykitties. In the
middle of the garth, then? That they mushn't toucht it. The devoted couple
was or were only two disappainted solicitresses on the job of the
unfortunate class on Saturn's mountain fort? That was about it, jah! And
Camellus then said to Gemellus: I should know you? Parfaitly. And Gemellus
then said to Camellus: Yes, your brother? Obsolutely. And if it was all
about that, egregious sir? About that and the other. If he was not alluding
to the whole in the wall? That he was when he was not eluding from the whole
of the woman. Briefly, how such beginall finally struck him now? Like the
crack that bruck the bank in Multifarnham. Whether he fell in with what they
meant? Cursed that he suppoxed he did. Thos Thoris, Thomar's Thom? The
rudacist rotter in Roebuckdom. Surtopical? And subhuman. If it was, in
yappanoise language, ach bad clap? Oo! Ah! Augs and ohrs with Rhian O'kehley
to put it tertianly, we wrong? Shocking! Such as turly pearced our really's
that he might, that he might never, that he might never that night? Treely
and rurally.
Bladyughfoulmoecklenburgwhurawhorascortastrumpapornanennykocksapastippata --
ppatupperstrippuckputtanach, eh? You have it alright.
Meirdreach an Oincuish ! But a new complexion was put upon the matter
when to the perplexedly uncondemnatory bench (whereon punic judgeship strove
with penal law) the senior king of all, Pegger Festy, as soon as the outer
layer of stucckomuck had been removed at the request of a few live jurors,
declared in a loudburst of poesy, through his Brythonic interpreter on his
oath, mhuith peisth mhuise as fearra bheura muirre hriosmas, whereas take
notice be the relics of the bones of the story bouchal that was ate be
Cliopatrick (the sow) princess of parked porkers, afore God and all their
honours and king's commons that, what he would swear to the Tierney of
Dundalgan or any other Tierney, yif live thurkells folloged him about sure
that was no steal and that, nevertheless, what was deposited from that
eyebold earbig noseknaving gutthroat, he did not fire a stone either before
or after he was born down and up to that time. And, incidentalising that
they might talk about Markarthy or they might walk to Baalastartey or they
might join the nabour party and come on to Porterfeud this the sockdologer
had the neck to endorse with the head bowed on him over his outturned
noreaster by protesting to his lipreaders with a justbeencleaned
barefacedness, abeam of moonlight's hope, in the same trelawney what he
would impart, pleas bench. to the Llwyd Josus and the gentlemen in Jury's
and the four of Masterers who had been all those yarns yearning for that
good one about why he left Dublin, that, amreeta beaker coddling doom, as an
Inishman was as good as any cantonnatal, if he was to parish by the market
steak before the dorming of the mawn, he skuld never ask to see sight or
light of this world or the other world or any either world, of Tyrenan-Og,
as true as he was there in that jackabox that minute, or wield or wind (no
thanks t'yous !) the inexousthausthible wassailhorn tot of iskybaush the
hailth up the wailth of the endknown abgod of the fire of the moving way of
the hawks with his heroes in Warhorror if ever in all his exchequered career
he up or lave a chancery hand to take or throw the sign of a mortal stick or
stone at man, yoelamb or salvation army either before or after being
puptised down to that most holy and every blessed hour. Here, upon the
halfkneed castleknocker's attempting kithoguishly to lilt his holymess the
paws and make the sign of the Roman Godhelic faix, (Xaroshie, zdrst!--in his
excitement the laddo had broken exthro Castilian into which the whole
audience perseguired and pursuited him olla podrida) outbroke much
yellachters from owners in the heall (Ha!) in which, under the mollification
of methaglin, the testifighter reluctingly, but with ever so ladylike
indecorum, joined. (Ha! Ha!)
The hilariohoot of Pegger's Windup cumjustled as neatly with the
tristitone of the Wet Pinter's as were they isce et ille equals of
opposites, evolved by a onesame power of nature or of spirit, iste, as the
sole condition and means of its himundher manifestation and polarised for
reunion by the symphysis of their antipathies. Distinctly different were
their duasdestinies. Whereas the maidies of the bar, (a pairless trentene, a
lunarised score) when the eranthus myrrmyrred: Show'm the Posed: fluttered
and flattered around the willingly pressed, nominating him for the swiney
prize, complimenting him, the captivating youth, on his having all his
senses about him, stincking thyacinths through his curls (O feen! O deur!)
and bringing busses to his cheeks, their masculine Oirisher Rose (his neece
cleur!), and legando round his nice new neck for him and pizzicagnoling his
woolywags, with their dindy dandy sugar de candy mechree me postheen flowns
courier to belive them of all his untiring young dames and send treats in
their times. Ymen. But it was not unobserved of those presents, their
worships, how, of one among all, her deputised to defeme him by the Lunar
Sisters' Celibacy Club, a lovelooking leapgirl, all all alonely, Gentia
Gemma of the Makegiddyculling Reeks, he, wan and pale in his unmixed
admiration, seemed blindly, mutely, tastelessly, tactlessly, innamorate with
heruponhim in shining aminglement, the shaym of his hisu shifting into the
shimmering of her hers, (youthsy, beautsy, hee's her chap and shey'll tell
memmas when she gays whom) till the wild wishwish of her sheeshea melted
most musically mid Ihe dark deepdeep of his shayshaun.
And whereas distracted (for was not just this in effect which had just
caused that the effect of that which it had caused to occur?) the four
justicers laid their wigs together, Untius, Muncius, Punchus and Pylax but
could do no worse than promulgate their standing verdict of Nolans Brumans
whereoneafter King, having murdered all the English he knew, picked out his
pockets and left the tribunal scotfree, trailing his Tommeylommey's tunic in
his hurry, thereinunder proudly showing off the blink patch to his britgits
to prove himself (an't plase yous!) a rael genteel. To the Switz
bobbyguard's curial but courtlike: Commodore valley O hairy, Arthre
jennyrosy?: the firewaterloover returted with such a vinesmelling fortytudor
ages rawdownhams tanyouhide as would the latten stomach even of a tumass
equinous (we were prepared for the chap's clap cap, the accent, but, took us
as, by surprise and now we're geshing it like gush gash from a burner!) so
that all the twofromthirty advocatesses within echo, pulling up their briefs
at the krigkry: Shun the Punman!: safely and soundly soccered that fenemine
Parish Poser, (how dare he!) umprumptu rightoway hames, much to his thanks,
gratiasagam, to all the wrong donatrices, biss Drinkbattle's Dingy Dwellings
where (for like your true venuson Esau he was dovetimid as the dears at
Bottome) he shat in (zoo), like the muddy goalbind who he was (dun), the
chassetitties belles conclaiming: You and your gift of your gaft of your
garbage abaht our Farvver! and gaingridando: Hon! Verg! Nau! Putor! Skam!
Schams! Shames!
And so it all ended. Artha kama dharma moksa. Ask Kavya for the kay.
And so everybody heard their plaint and all listened to their plause. The
letter! The litter! And the soother the bitther! Of eyebrow pencilled, by
lipstipple penned. Borrowing a word and begging the question and stealing
tinder and slipping like soap. From dark Rasa Lane a sigh and a weep, from
Lesbia Looshe the beam in her eye, from lone Coogan Barry his arrow of song,
from Sean Kelly's anagrim a blush at the name, from I am the Sullivan that
trumpeting tramp, from Suffering Dufferin the Sit of her Style, from
Kathleen May Vernon her Mebbe fair efforts, from Fillthepot Curran his
scotchlove machreether, from hymn Op. 2 Phil Adolphos the weary O, the
leery, O, from Samyouwill Leaver or Damyouwell Lover thatjolly old molly bit
or that bored saunter by, from Timm Finn again's weak tribes, loss of
strenghth to his sowheel, from the wedding on the greene, agirlies, the
gretnass of joyboys, from Pat Mullen, Tom Mallon, Dan Meldon, Don Maldon a
slickstick picnic made in Moate by Muldoons. The solid man saved by his
sillied woman. Crackajolking away like a hearse on fire. The elm that
whimpers at the top told the stone that moans when stricken. Wind broke it.
Wave bore it. Reed wrote of it. Syce ran with it. Hand tore it and wild went
war. Hen trieved it and plight pledged peace. It was folded with cunning,
sealed with crime, uptied by a harlot, undone by a child. It was life but
was it fair? It was free but was it art? The old hunks on the hill read it
to perlection. It made ma make merry and sissy so shy and rubbed some shine
off Shem and put some shame into Shaun. Yet Una and Ita spill famine with
drought and Agrippa, the propastored, spells tripulations in his threne. Ah,
furchte fruchte, timid Danaides! Ena milo melomon, frai is frau and swee is
too, swee is two when swoo is free, ana mala woe is we! A pair of
sycopanties with amygdaleine eyes, one old obster lumpky pumpkin and three
meddlars on their slies. And that was how framm Sin fromm Son, acity arose,
finfin funfun, a sitting arrows. Now tell me, tell me, tell me then!
What was it?
A .......... !
? ..........0! So there you are now there they were, when all was over
again, the four with them, setting around upin their judges' chambers, in
the muniment room, of their marshalsea, under the suspices of Lally, around
their old traditional tables of the law like Somany Solans to talk it over
rallthesameagain. Well and druly dry. Suffering law the dring. Accourting to
king's evelyns. So help her goat and kiss the bouc. Festives and highajinks
and jintyaun and her beetyrossy bettydoaty and not to forget now a'duna
o'darnel. The four of them and thank court now there were no more of them.
So pass the push for port sake. Be it soon. Ah ho! And do you remember,
Singabob, the badfather, the same, the great Howdoyoucallem, and his old
nickname, Dirty Daddy Pantaloons, in his monopoleums, behind the war of the
two roses, with Michael Victory, the sheemen's preester, before he caught
his paper dispillsation from the poke, old Minace and Minster York? Do I
mind? I mind the gush off the mon like Ballybock manure works on a
tradewinds day. And the O'Moyly gracies and the O'Briny rossies chaffing him
bluchface and playing him pranks. How do you do, todo, North Mister? Get
into my way! Ah dearome forsailoshe! Gone over the bays! When ginabawdy
meadabawdy! Yerra, why would he heed that old gasometer with his hooping
coppin and his dyinboosycough and all the birds of the southside after her,
Minxy Cunningham, their dear divorcee darling, jimmies and jonnies to be her
jo? Hold hard. There's three other corners to our isle's cork float. Sure,
'tis well I can telesmell him H2 C E3 that would take a township's breath
away! Gob and I nose him too well as I do meself, heaving up the Kay Wall by
the 32 to II with his limelooking horsebags full of sesameseed, the
Whiteside Kaffir, and his sayman's effluvium and his scentpainted voice,
puffing out his thundering big brown cabbage! Pa! Thawt I'm glad a gull for
his pawsdeen fiunn! Goborro, sez he, Lankyshied! Gobugga ye, sez I! O
breezes! I sniffed that lad long before anyone. It was when I was in my
farfather out at the west and she and myself, the redheaded girl,
firstnighting down Sycomore Lane. Fine feelplay we had of it mid the
kissabetts frisking in the kool kurkle dusk of the lushiness. My perfume of
the pampas, says she (meaning me) putting out her netherlights, and I'd
sooner one precious sip at your pure mountain dew than enrich my
acquaintance with that big brewer's belch.
And so they went on, the fourbottle men, the analists, unguam and
nunguam and lunguam again, their anschluss about her whosebefore and his
whereafters and how she was lost away away in the fern and how he was
founded deap on deep in anear, and the rustlings and the twitterings and the
raspings and the snappings and the sighings and the paintings and the
ukukuings and the (hist!) the springapartings and the (hast!) the
bybyscuttlings and all the scandalmunkers and the pure craigs that used to
be (up) that time living and lying and rating and riding round Nunsbelly
Square. And all the buds in the bush. And the laughing jackass. Harik!
Harik! Harik! The rose is white in the darik! And Sunfella's nose has got
rhinoceritis from haunting the roes in the parik! So all rogues lean to
rhyme. And contradrinking themselves about Lillytrilly law pon hilly and Mrs
Niall of the Nine Corsages and the old markiss their besterfar, and, arrah,
sure there was never a marcus at all at all among the manlies and dear Sir
Armoury, queer Sir Rumoury, and the old house by the churpelizod, and all
the goings on so very wrong long before when they were going on retreat, in
the old gammeldags, the four of them, in Milton's Park under lovely Father
Whisperer and making her love with his stuffstuff in the languish of flowers
and feeling to find was she mushymushy, and wasn't that vely both of them,
the saucicissters, a drahereen o machree !, and (peep !) meeting waters most
improper (peepette!) ballround the garden, trickle trickle trickle triss,
please, miman, may I go flirting? farmers gone with a groom and how they
used her, mused her, licksed her and cuddled. I differ with ye ! Are you
sure of yourself now? You're a liar, excuse me! I will not and you're
another! And Lully holding their breach of the peace for them. Pool loll
Lolly! To give and to take! And to forego the pasht! And all will be
forgotten! Ah ho! It was too too bad to be falling out about her kindness
pet and the shape of O O O O O O O O Ourang's time. Well, all right, Lelly.
And shakeahand. And schenkusmore. For Craig sake. Be it suck.
Well?
Well, even should not the framing up of such figments in the evidential
order bring the true truth to light as fortuitously as a dim seer's setting
of a starchart might (heaven helping it!) uncover the nakedness of an
unknown body in the fields of blue or as forehearingly as the sibspeeches of
all mankind have foliated (earth seizing them!) from the root of some
funner's stotter all the soundest sense to be found immense our special
mentalists now holds (securus iudicat orbis terrarum) that by such playing
possum our hagious curious encestor bestly saved his brush with his
posterity, you, charming coparcenors, us, heirs of his tailsie. Gundogs of
all breeds were beagling with renounced urbiandorbic bugles, hot to run him,
given law, on a scent breasthigh, keen for the worry. View! From his holt
outratted across the Juletide's genial corsslands of Humfries Chase from
Mullinahob and Peacockstown, then bearing right upon Tankardstown, the
outlier, a white noelan which Mr Loewensteil Fitz Urse's basset beaters had
first misbadgered for a bruin of some swart, led bayers the run, then
through Raystown and Horlockstown and, louping the loup, to Tankardstown
again. Ear canny hare for doubling through Cheeverstown they raced him,
through Loughlinstown and Nutstown to wind him by the Boolies. But from the
good turn when he last was lost, check, upon Ye Hill of Rut in full winter
coat with ticker pads, pointing for his rooming house his old nordest in his
rolltoproyal hessians a deaf fuchser's volponism hid him close in covert,
miraculously ravenfed and buoyed up, in rumer, reticule, onasum and
abomasum, upon (may Allbrewham have his mead!) the creamclotted sherriness
of cinnamon syllabub, Mikkelraved, Nikkelsaved. Hence hounds hied home.
Preservative perseverance in the reeducation of his intestines was the
rebuttal by whilk he sort of git the big bulge on the whole bunch of
spasoakers, dieting against glues and gravies, in that sometime prestreet
protown. Vainly violence, virulence and vituperation sought wellnigh utterly
to attax and abridge, to derail and depontify, to enrate and inroad, to
ongoad and unhume the great shipping mogul and underlinen overlord.
But the spoil of hesitants, the spell of hesitency. His atake is it
ashe, tittery taw tatterytail, hasitense humponadimply, heyheyheyhey a
winceywencky.
Assembly men murmured. Reynard is slow!
One feared for his days. Did there yawn? 'Twas his stommick. Eruct? The
libber. A gush? From his visuals. Pung? Delivver him, orelode! He had laid
violent hands on himself, it was brought in Fugger's Newsletter, lain down,
all in,fagged out, with equally melancholy death. For the triduum of
Saturnalia his goatservant had paraded hiz willingsons in the Forum while
the jenny infanted the lass to be greeted raucously (the Yardstated) with
houx and epheus and measured with missiles too from a hundred of manhood and
a wimmering of weibes. Big went the bang: then wildewide was quiet: a
report: silence: last Fama put it under ether. The noase or the loal had
dreven him blem, blem, stun blem. Sparks flew. He had fled again (open
shunshema!) this country of exile, sloughed off,sidleshomed via the
subterranean shored with bedboards, stowed away and ankered in a dutch
bottom tank, the Arsa, hod S.S. Finlandia, and was even now occupying, under
an islamitic newhame in his seventh generation, a physical body Cornelius
Magrath's (badoldkarakter, commonorrong canbung) in Asia Major, where as
Turk of the theater (first house all flatty: the king, eleven sharps) he had
bepiastered the buikdanseuses from the opulence of his omnibox while as arab
at the streetdoor he bepestered the bumbashaws for the alms of a para's
pence. Wires hummed. Peacefully general astonishment assisted by
regrettitude had put a term till his existence: he saw the family saggarth,
resigned, put off his remainders, was recalled and scrapheaped by the Maker.
Chirpings crossed. An infamous private ailment (vulgovarioveneral) had
claimed endright, closed his vicious circle, snap. Jams jarred. He had
walked towards the middle of an ornamental lilypond when innebriated up to
the point where braced shirts meet knickerbockers, as wangfish daring the
buoyant waters, when rodmen's firstaiding hands had rescued un from very
possibly several feel of demifrish water. Mush spread. On Umbrella Street
where he did drinks from a pumps a kind workman, Mr Whitlock, gave him a
piece of wood. What words of power were made fas between them, ekenames and
auchnomes, acnomina ecnumina? That, O that, did Hansard tell us, would gar
ganz Dub's ear wag in every pub of all the citta! Batty believes a baton
while Hogan hears a hod yet Heer prefers a punsil shapner and Cope and Bull
go cup and ball. And the Cassidy--Craddock rome and reme round e'er a wiege
ne'er a waage is still immer and immor awagering over it,a cradle with a
care in it or a casket with a kick behind. Toties testies quoties questies.
The war is in words and the wood is the world. Maply me, willowy we, hickory
he and yew yourselves. Howforhim chirrupeth evereachbird! From golddawn
glory to glowworm gleam. We were lowquacks did we not tacit turn. Elsewere
there here no concern of the Guinnesses. But only the ruining of the rain
has heard. Estout pourporteral ! Cracklings cricked. A human pest cycling
(pist!) and recycling (past!) about the sledgy streets, here he was (pust!)
again! Morse nuisance noised. He was loose at large and (Oh baby!) might be
anywhere when a disguised exnun, of huge standbuild and masculine manners in
her fairly fat forties, Carpulenta Gygasta, hattracted hattention by
harbitrary conduct with a homnibus. Aerials buzzed to coastal listeners of
an oertax bror collector's budget, fullybigs, sporran, tie, tuft, tabard and
bloody antichill cloak, its tailor's (Baernfather's) tab reading V.P.H.,
found nigh Scaldbrothar's Hole, and divers shivered to think what kaind of
beast, wolves, croppis's or fourpenny friars, had devoured him. C. W. cast
wide. Hvidfinns lyk, drohneth svertgleam, Valkir lockt. On his pinksir's
postern, the boys had it, at Whitweekend had been nailed an inkedup name and
title, inscribed in the national cursives, accelerated, regressive,
filiform, turreted and envenomoloped in piggotry: Move up. Mumpty! Mike room
for Rumpty! By order, Nickekellous Plugg; and this go, no pentecostal jest
about it, how gregarious his race soever or skilful learned wise cunning
knowledgable clear profound his saying fortitudo fraught or prudentiaproven,
were he chief, count, general, fieldmarshal, prince, king or Myles the
Slasher in his person, with a moliamordhar mansion in the Breffnian empire
and a place of inauguration on the hill of Tullymongan, there had been real
murder, of the rayheallach royghal raxacraxian variety, the MacMahon chaps,
it was, that had done him in. On the fidd of Verdor the rampart combatants
had left him lion with his dexter handcoup wresterected in a pureede paumee
bloody proper. Indeed not a few thick and thin wellwishers, mostly of the
clontarfminded class, (Colonel John Bawle O'Roarke, fervxamplus), even
ventured so far as to loan or beg copies of D. Blayncy's trilingual
triweekly, Scatterbrains' Aftening Posht,so as to make certain sure onetime
and be satisfied of their quasicontribusodalitarian's having become
genuinely quite beetly dead whether by land whither by water. Transocean
atalaclamoured him; The latter! The latter! Shall their hope then be silent
or Macfarlane lack of lamentation? He lay under leagues of it in deep
Bartholoman's Deep.
Achdung! Pozor! Attenshune! Vikeroy Besights Smucky Yung Pigeschoolies.
Tri Paisdinernes Eventyr Med Lochlanner Fathach I Fiounnisgehaven.
Bannalanna Bangs Ballyhooly Out Of Her Buddaree Of A Bullavogue.
But, their bright little contemporaries notwithstanding, on the
morrowing morn of the suicidal murder of the unrescued expatriate, aslike as
asnake comes sliduant down that oaktree onto the duke of beavers, (you may
have seen some liquidamber exude exotic from a balsam poplar at
Parteen-a-lax Limestone. Road and cried Abies Magnifica! not, noble fir?) a
quarter of nine, imploring his resipiency, saw the infallible spike of
smoke's jutstiff punctual from the seventh gable of our Quintus Centimachus'
porphyroid buttertower and then thirsty p.m. with oaths upon his lastingness
(En caecos harauspices ! Annos longos patimur !) the lamps of maintenance,
beaconsfarafield innerhalf the zuggurat, all brevetnamed, the wasting
wyvern, the tawny of his mane, the swinglowswaying bluepaw, the outstanding
man, the lolllike lady, being litten for the long (O land, how long!)
lifesnight, with suffusion of fineglass transom and leadlight panes.
Wherefore let it hardly by any being thinking be said either or thought
that the prisoner of that sacred edifice, were he an Ivor the Boneless or an
Olaf the Hide, was at his best a onestone parable, a rude breathing on the
void of to be, a venter hearing his own bauchspeech in backwords, or, more
strictly, but tristurned initials, the cluekey to a worldroom beyond the
roomwhorld, for scarce one, or pathetically few of his dode canal
sammenlivers cared seriously or for long to doubt with Kurt Iuld van Dijke
(the gravitational pull perceived by certain fixed residents and the capture
of uncertain comets chancedrifting through our system suggesting an
authenticitatem of his aliquitudinis) the canonicity of his existence as a
tesseract. Be still, O quick! Speak him dumb! Hush ye fronds of Ulma!
Dispersal women wondered. Was she fast?
Do tell us all about. As we want to hear allabout. So tellus tellas
allabouter. The why or whether she looked alottylike like ussies and whether
he had his wimdop like themses shut? Notes and queries, tipbids and answers,
the laugh and the shout, the ards and downs. Now listed to one aneither and
liss them down and smoothen out your leaves of rose. The war is o'er. Wimwim
wimwim! Was it Unity Moore or Estella Swifte or Varina Fay or Quarta
Quaedam? Toemaas, mark oom for yor ounckel! Pigeys, hold op med yer leg!
Who, but who (for second time of asking) was then the scourge of the parts
about folkrich Lucalizod it was wont to be asked, as, in ages behind of the
Homo Capite Erectus, what price Peabody's money, or, to put it bluntly,
whence is the herringtons' white cravat, as, in epochs more cainozoic, who
struck Buckley though nowadays as thentimes every schoolfilly of sevenscore
moons or more who knowher intimologies and every colleen bawl aroof and
every redflammelwaving warwife and widowpeace upon Dublin Wall for ever
knows as yayas is yayas how it was Buckleyself (we need no blooding paper to
tell it neither) who struck and the Russian generals, da! da!, instead of
Buckley who was caddishly struck by him when be herselves. What fullpried
paulpoison in the spy of three castles or which hatefilled smileyseller? And
that such a vetriol of venom, that queen's head affranchisant, a quiet
stinkingplaster zeal could cover, prepostered or postpaid! The loungelizards
of the pumproom had their nine days' ~er, and pratschkats at their
platschpails too and holenpolendom beside, Szpaszpas Szpissmas, the
zhanyzhonies, when, still believing in her owenglass, when izarres were
twinklins, that the upper reaches of her mouthless face and her impermanent
waves were the better half of her, one nearer him, dearer than all, first
warming creature of his early morn, bondwoman of the man of the house, and
murrmurr of all the mackavicks, she who had given his eye for her bed and a
tooth for a child till one one and one ten and one hundred again, O me and O
ye ! cadet and prim, the hungray and anngreen (and if she is older now than
her teeth she has hair that is younger than thighne, my dear!) she who
shuttered him after his fall and waked him widowt sparing and gave him keen
and made him able and held adazillahs to each arche of his noes, she who
will not rast her from her running to seek him till, with the help of the
okeamic, some such time that she shall have been after hiding the crumbends
of his enormousness in the areyou lookingfor Pearlfar sea, (ur, uri, uria!)
stood forth, burnzburn the gorggony old danworld, in gogor's name, for
gagar's sake, dragging the countryside in her train, finickin here and
funickin there, with her louisequean's brogues and her culunder buzzle and
her litde bolero boa and all and two times twenty curlicornies for her
headdress, specks on her eyeux, and spudds on horeilles and a circusfix
riding her Parisienne's cockneze, a vaunt her straddle from Equerry Egon,
when Tinktink in the churchclose clinked Steploajazzyma Sunday, Sola, with
pawns, prelates and pookas pelotting in her piecebag, for Handiman the
Chomp, Esquoro, biskbask, to crush the slander's head.
Wery weeny wight, plead for Morandmor! Notre Dame de la Ville, mercy of
thy balmheartzyheat! Ogrowdnyk's beyond herbata tay, wort of the drogist.
Bulk him no bulkis. And let him rest, thou wayfarre, and take no gravespoil
from him! Neither mar his mound! The bane of Tut is on it. Ware! But there's
a little lady waiting and her name is A.L.P. And you'll agree. She must be
she. For her holden heirheaps hanging down her back. He spenth his strenth
amok haremscarems. Poppy Narancy, Giallia, Chlora, Marinka, Anileen, Parme.
And ilk a those dames had her rainbow huemoures yet for whilko her whims but
he coined a cure. Tifftiff today, kissykissy tonay and agelong pine
tomauranna. Then who but Crippled-with-Children would speak up for
Dropping-with-Sweat?

Sold him her lease of ninenineninetee,
Tresses undresses so dyedyedaintee,
Goo, the groot gudgeon, gulped it all.
Hoo was the C. O. D.?
Bum !

At Island Bridge she met her tide.
Attabom, attabom, attabombomboom!
The Fin had a flux and his Ebba a ride.
Attabom, attabom, attabombomboom!
We're all up to the years in hues and cribies.
That's what she's done for wee!
Woe!

Nomad may roam with Nabuch but let naaman laugh at Jordan! For we, we
have taken our sheet upon her stones where we have hanged our hearts in her
trees; and we list, as she bibs us, by the waters of babalong.

    Chapter 5



In the name of Annah the Allmaziful, the Everliving, the Bringer of
Plurabilities, haloed be her eve, her singtime sung, her rill be run,
unhemmed as it is uneven!
Her untitled mamafesta memorialising the Mosthighest has gone by many
names at disjointed times. Thus we hear of, The Augusta Angustissimost for
Old Seabeastius' Salvation, Rockabill Booby in the Wave Trough, Here's to
the Relicts of All Decencies, Anna Stessa's Rise to Notice, Knickle Down
Duddy Gunne and Arishe Sir Cannon, My Golden One and My Selver Wedding,
Amoury Treestam and Icy Siseule, Saith a Sawyer til a Strame, Ik dik
dopedope et tu mihimihi, Buy Birthplate for a Bite, Which of your Hesterdays
Mean Ye to Morra? Hoebegunne the Hebrewer Hit Waterman the Brayned, Arcs in
His Ceiling Flee Chinx on the Flur, Rebus de Hibernicis, The Crazier
Letters, Groans of a Britoness, Peter Peopler Picked a Plot to Pitch his
Poppolin, An Apology for a Big (some such nonoun as Husband or husboat or
hosebound is probably understood for we have also the plutherplethoric My
Hoonsbood Hansbaad's a Journey to Porthergill gone and He Never Has the
Hour), Ought We To Visit Him? For Ark see Zoo, Cleopater's Nedlework
Ficturing Aldborougham on the Sahara with the Coombing of the Cammmels and
the Parlourmaids of Aegypt, Cock in the Pot for Father, Placeat Vestrae, A
New Cure for an Old Clap, Where Portentos they'd Grow Gonder how I'd Wish I
Woose a Geese; Gettle Nettie, Thrust him not, When the Myrtles of Venice
Played to Bloccus's Line, To Plenge Me High He Waives Chiltern on Friends,
Oremunds Queue Visits Amen Mart, E'en Tho' I Granny a-be He would Fain Me
Cuddle, Twenty of Chambers, Weighty Ten Beds and a Wan Ceteroom, I Led the
Life, Through the Boxer Coxer Rising in the House with the Golden Stairs,
The Following Fork, He's my O'Jerusalem and I'm his Po, The Best in the
West, By the Stream of Zemzem under Zigzag Hill, The Man That Made His
Mother in the Marlborry Train, Try Our Taal on a Taub, The Log of Anny to
the Base All, Nopper Tipped a Nappiwenk to his Notylytl Dantsigirls, Prszss
Orel Orel the King of Orlbrdsz, Intimier Minnelisp of an Extorreor
Monolothe, Drink to Him, My Juckey, and Dhoult Bemine Thy Winnowing Sheet, I
Ask You to Believe I was his Mistress, He Can Explain, From Victrolia
Nuancee to Allbart Noahnsy, Da's a Daisy so Guimea your Handsel too, What
Barbaras Done to a Barrel Organ Before the Rank, Tank and Bonnbtail, Huskvy
Admortal, What Jumbo made to Jalice and what Anisette to Him, Ophelia's
Culpreints, Hear Hubty Hublin, My Old Dansh, I am Older northe Rogues among
Whisht I Slips and He Calls Me his Dual of Ayessha, Suppotes a
Ventriliquorst Merries a Corpse, Lapps for Finns This Funnycoon's Week, How
the Buckling Shut at Rush in January, Look to the Lady, From the Rise of the
Dudge Pupublick to the Fall of the Potstille, Of the Two Ways of Opening the
Mouth, I have not Stopped Water Where It Should Flow and I Know the
Twentynine Names of Attraente, The Tortor of Tory Island Traits Galasia like
his Milchcow, From Abbeygate to Crowalley Through a Lift in the Lude, Smocks
for Their Graces and Me Aunt for Them Clodshoppers, How to Pull a Good
Horuscoup even when Oldsire is Dead to the World, Inn the Gleam of Waherlow,
Fathe He's Sukceded to My Esperations, Thee Steps Forward, Two Stops Back,
My Skin Appeals to Three Senses and My Curly Lips Demand Columbkisses; Gage
Street on a Crany's Savings, Them Lads made a Trion of Battlewatschers and
They Totties a Doeit of Deers, In My Lord's Bed by One Whore Went Through
It, Mum It is All Over, Cowpoyride by Twelve Acre Terriss in the Unique
Estates of Amessican, He Gave me a Thou so I serve Him with Thee, Of all the
Wide Torsos in all the Wild Glen, O'Donogh, White Donogh, He's Hue to Me
Cry, I'm the Stitch in his Baskside You'd be Nought Without Mom, To Keep the
Huskies off the Hustings and Picture Pets from Lifting Shops, Norsker
Torsker Find the Poddle, He Perssed Me Here with the Ardour of a
Tonnoburkes, A Boob Was Weeping This Mower was Reaping, O'Loughlin, Up from
the Pit of my Stomach I Swish you the White of the Mourning, Inglo-Andeen
Medoleys from Tommany Moohr, The Great Polynesional Entertrainer Exhibits
Ballantine Brautchers with the Link of Natures, The Mimic of Meg Neg end the
Mackeys, Entered as the Lastest Pigtarial and My Pooridiocal at
Stitchioner's Hall, Siegfield Follies and or a Gentlehomme's Faut Pas, See
the First Book of Jealesies Pessim, The Suspended Sentence, A Pretty Brick
Story for Childsize Heroes, As Lo Our Sleep, I Knew I'd Got it in Me so Thit
settles That, Thonderbalt Captain Smeth and La Belle Sauvage Pocahonteuse,
Way for Wet Week Welikin's Douchka Marianne, The Last of the Fingallians, It
Was Me Egged Him on to the Stork Exchange and Lent my Dutiful Face to His
Customs, Chee Chee Cheels on their China Miction, Pickedmeup Peters,
Lumptytumtumpty had a Big Fall, Pimpimp Pimpimp, Measly Ventures of Two Lice
and the Fall of Fruit, The Fokes Family Interior, If my Spreadeagles Wasn't
so Tight I'd Loosen my Cursits on that Bunch of Maggiestraps, Allolosha
Popofetts and Howke Cotchme Eye, Seen Aples and Thin Dyed, i big U to
Beleaves from Love and Mother, Fine's Fault was no Felon, Exat Delvin Renter
Life,The Flash that Flies from Vuggy's Eyes has Set Me Hair On Fire, His is
the House that Malt Made, Divine Views from Back to the Front, Abe to Sare
Stood Icyk Neuter till Brahm Taulked Him Common Sex, A Nibble at Eve Will
That Bowal Relieve, Allfor Guineas, Sounds and Compliments Libidous, Seven