Burkitt John. Touch of the Nisei

   She looked at him with mixed pity and disgust. “Maybe I should remove the temptation. I will go away--far away. Maybe you’ll find someone else to crouch with.”
   “Why? Am I ugly?”
   “No.”
   “Stupid??”
   “No! Of course not.”
   “Then why not??”
   “You are great for a story or a joke, but the thought of you mounting me makes me sick. Even pity won’t make me crouch for the likes of you. Understand?”
   She turned to leave.
   “You never know how long a single female can make it in this land.”
   “I’ll take my chances.”
   Then, as if on cue, a hyena came up from the grass and growled menacingly. Gamu stood protectively in front of Elanna, then with a snarl chased the hyena off ferociously into the bushes.
   Behind some bushes Gamu began to beat the earth, while Griz’nik began to shriek horribly. Gamu growled and tore into the earth, and Griz’nik made one heart-rending yip, then fell silent. Griz’nik got the rabbit he had cached away and watched with amusement as Gamu minced it in his jaws, soaking his face in blood, then wiping his mane with his paws to bloody them. “Not bad,” Gamu whispered.
   Gamu returned to the shocked Elanna a bloody mess. “I saved you that time. But they will be back, and in greater numbers. You need me. Someday you’ll come to love me.” He nuzzled her, getting a spot of blood on her cheek.
   She shrank from his touch. “If you respect me at all, you’ll keep this locked away inside of you and never mention it again. And unill I’m through my period, I’d really prefer that you sleep apart from me. Stay nearby, but don’t touch me.”
   The icy silence that she began continued for some hours. Gamu was beginning to feel the isolation of his old rogue life coming back on him again, and he was listless and miserable. Finally, when hunger began to set in, he said, “Elanna, it’s time we tried to hunt, don’t you think?”
   “I guess so.”
   She had spoken! Hearing her voice again was a balm for his woes, and he did anything to hold her in conversation, becoming too talkative to seriously stalk prey. Instead they settled for making a new kill by watching the buzzards. Elanna knew how to watch the skies, and she soon spotted the wounded gazelle that had escaped one lion only to fall to another.
   Gamu, who was very hungry, roughly grabbed the shrieking beast by the hindquarters and began to tear into the muscles of its haunch, satisfying his hunger with living flesh.
   “Stop!” Elanna shouted. She drew close to the weakly-panting gazelle and said softly, “Think about Aiheu’s realm. Soon you will be out of pain.” She took the gazelle’s neck between her teeth and cut off its breath. And in a few moments, when the body had slumped into a final slumber, she looked up at Gamu. “What’s with you, anyway?? Can’t you wait for a clean kill? You hunt the way you woo females!”
   The birds began to gather, but Gamu looked up hatefully. He was already angry, and their unwanted company set him off. “Stupid birds! Piss off!”
   The vultures looked at each other, stunned.
   “I said piss off!”
   They took to the air before he had a chance to charge them, but then they circled maddeningly just out of reach of his leaps and shouted at him, “Gamu, Gamu! Naughty boy! We know who you are and we know what you did!”
   He was mortified. He shouted “I’ll pluck you and eat you!”
   “You can’t fly!”
   “And you can’t fly forever! You’ll have to land sooner or later!”
   “Promises, promises! Look at the naughty kitty! Time someone taught him some manners!” They flew off, laughing.
   Gamu stalked back to Elanna who stared at him. “So, what are YOU looking at!”
   “What did they mean? They know who you are and what you did?”
   “It’s between them and me. Besides, how should I know? Maybe he saw Kubali trying to seduce me. Just drop it.”
   She looked away from him. “If you say so.”
   “I didn’t mean to snap. Sorry, my dear. I just hate buzzards, that’s all.”

CHAPTER: A WAR OF ATTRITION

   A lone lion made his way through the grass with the fearful, empty tread of the recently exiled. His old friends, his family, and his familiar grounds were behind him, perhaps forever, but this time he did not seek solace in a new beginning. He bore an extra weight on his shoulders that made his ears a little flatter, his tail a little lower and his step a little slower than most.
   “Oh gods,” he muttered to himself, for he was once again his only audience. “Oh gods, what could I have done? What could I have said differently? I was happy, truly happy and willing to spend my life with her! She wouldn’t even tell me what I did? One moment she loved me, and now she has driven me away, and all I want to do is go to sleep and never have to wake up!”
   Memories of the blissful moments he had spent with Elanna came crowding over him, torturing him in his loneliness. If only Gamu had known what his lie had caused, he would have reveled in perverse satisfaction. Kubali fell to the ground and sobbed. “Oh gods, you’ve taken away everything I lived for! Why not let me die! Oh gods!”
   Unaware of the extent of his mischief, Gamu was busy trying to solidify his claim on Elanna. He felt victory, complete victory, waited for him over the next rise or behind the next rock.
   Gamu alternated fear and tenderness, playing on Elanna’s helplessness and setting himself up as her one salvation. So far it had not resulted in a mating with Elanna, the mark of his absolute and utter destruction of Kubali. Knowing that Kubali had something that had eluded his grasp was more frustrating than his unfulfilled desire.
   She refused him consistently. Once, in the throes of passion, he followed her about with a tense purring in his throat. He reached out with a paw and shoved her rump down, starting to mount her willingly or unwillingly. She turned about smartly and cuffed his face with all her might. As he lay stunned on the ground, she snarled at him. “Touch me there again and I’ll leave scars visible at night!”
   She got very little sleep throughout the next day and night. She was afraid of him, almost as afraid as she was of the hyenas.
   The end of her receptive period offered Elanna some relief from his constant entreaties, but his war of attrition shifted to other fronts. He went from a prospective lover to a caretaker.
   “Lannie, if you will pledge to me, I will find a pride where you can be a queen again. You could hunt with pride sisters again as you once did. You can be respected.”
   It went on subtly, day after day. Like water running across once baked earth, he began to gently, patiently wear gullies in her firm resolve. She did not grow to find him handsome, but she began to submit to his kissing her. She never kissed him back, but Gamu felt that would come with time. “It’s like that hyena game, whatever in hell that little weasel called it.”
   Flush with what he perceived as signs of success, Gamu was more bold in taking leave of Elanna to chat with Griz’nik and keep him apprised of his progress. With a plan that ingenious, Gamu had to brag to someone or he would burst at the seams.
   Never did Gamu pay any head to the circling buzzard overhead who watched--and listened carefully.

CHAPTER: MARKAAAGH’S ERRAND

   Markaaagh saw what he thought was a dying lion. He had a personal preference, hoping it was not Kubali. Despite his professional detachment, he had grown rather fond of the polite, intelligent lion. He lighted next to him, hoping to at least say something to ease his torment at the end.
   “Hey Fuzzy, are you OK?”
   “I’m not ready to be the guest of honor at your dinner party.”
   “For once I’m relieved.” The buzzard regarded him closely. “Where is your lady friend?”
   “Gone. She dumped me.”
   Markaaagh looked surprised and disappointed. “Tell me it ain’t so! Brother, I know how you feel.”
   “How could you?”
   “Oyeghegh left me without so much as a pinfeather.”
   “Oh? I’m sorry.”
   “Of course, I take these things in stride. In my younger days, I was quite the rage among the young ladies, and I still haven’t lost it entirely! Har har!”
   Kubali covered his eyes with a paw.
   “You poor boy, I was happy for you. I was hoping this match would work out. I’m really sorry.”
   Markaaagh trundled across a bit of savanna, flapping his huge wings until he was airborne and could put some distance between himself and the lion. He embraced the buzzard policy of not getting involved with animals he could eat. It was only courting pain and conflict. Still, he felt he had to get to the bottom of this. If only to find some dirt on Gamu that would give him the satisfaction of ripping out his liver when Fuzzy got through with him.
   It took a while. In fact, it took several days. Then by patience and silent soaring, Markaaagh caught Gamu in a bragging mood, talking with a “dead” hyena about his imminent conquest. He heard Gamu tell the story for probably the hundredth time, though it was the first time he could put all the pieces together.
   He had heard enough. “We can eat three day old carcasses, but some things we just can’t stomach.” He smiled a nauseating vulture smile. “Today, greedy gut, you get yours! Drive me off with insults, will ya?? I’ll see you ripped like a gazelle!”
   Markaaagh flew quickly to find the moping lion. He told Kubali what he had heard.
   “You have earned yourself FIRST RIGHTS at my next five kills!”
   Kubali rallied. Suddenly he stood tall and straight and proud. It did Markaaagh’s heart good.

CHAPTER: THE CONFRONTATION

   Gamu’s fear campaign had worked too well. Elanna was truly afraid to remain alone for even a moment with hyenas about. If only she had known that the nearby clan was the histrionic attempts of Griz’nik to be seen in several different places in quick succession, using variations on his voice with every territorial yip! He would call out “Ta’bliz!” (Attention!) and answer himself, “Mar roh!” (Yes milord!). The sound of the dark tongue would send chills down Elanna’s spine as she worried about those hyenas. Not used to freeloading off the lions, these were surely hunters of the first order, fierce and coldly efficient.
   When Gamu left her with strict orders to remain behind, he really expected her to stay put. Though it was supposedly for her own good, Gamu’s ordering about was intended to complete his domination of her and to give him free reign to contact Griz’nik for further orders. Without careful coordination with the hyena, Gamu’s main trump card of fear of the hyenas would become worthless, for a frightened lioness can run faster than an angry lion.
   Elanna used all her stalking skills to stay within hearing range of Gamu that she might be a simple shout away if intruders targeted her. Little did she know what she would hear that fateful day!
   Elanna saw Gamu talking to the hyena. She overheard what he was saying.
   Griz’nik was laughing when Gamu told him again about the deception. That Elanna was foolish enough to believe Kubali loved Gamu after making love to her all night!
   She knew that was the hyena that Gamu said he killed. She recognized the voice as one of those that called about her in the night. And she gritted her teeth to keep from crying out.
   Griz’nik asked Gamu what would happen to him when Elanna pledged to him.
   Gamu said, “I was just about to tell you that myself.” He started forward. “Old friend, I had three great ambitions. One was to have her warm my belly. One was to see Kubali dead in the dust. My third wish is of great interest to you. It’s to keep you from ever telling my secrets to Lannie. I’ve practiced your little cries. Ta’bliz! Mar roh! En’khet koi, Roh’mach! In fact, I think I can get along without you.”
   “You’re sending me away??”
   “Clear to whatever hell you believe in.”
   The hyena backed back. “Oh gods, don’t do this! Let me run away, Gamu! Oh gods, don’t hurt me! Please!”
   Griz’nik had backed back into the corner of the small shelter as far as he could go. “I’ll do anything! Oh gods, this is madness! Stop!!”
   Gamu was about to bite the hyena’s neck through when suddenly in burst Elanna.
   “Griz’nik, I should have recognized your smell anywhere! If you want to live, you better tell the truth!”
   Griz’nik urinated freely in his utter panic. “He wanted to kill me! Have mercy and I’ll tell all! Gamu is a cheat and a liar! He invented that story about Kubali being in love with him, and he told Kubali you had betrayed your husband!”
   She raised her face in an agony of extreme hate, roaring to shake the walls of the small cavern. Her eyes glowed red with fierce bloodlust, and she sprang on Gamu. “I’ll kill you, you devil!”
   For all her determination, Gamu was a young adult male, and he outweighed her by half again her bulk. Her claws tore hunks of fur from his mane but barely grazed the skin beneath. He raked her shoulder and easily brought blood.
   Elanna did not really care. If she could only mark him before she died, she could look down from the stars on him and feel revenged. Gamu, who had so often tried to make love to her, was bringing the terrible brunt of his anger on her.
   Then a lion announced his presence with a terrible roar. “Keep your paws off of her!”
   Gamu looked about. It proved to be his undoing. Elanna clubbed Gamu on the back of the head with one massive blow of her paw and sent him sprawling.
   In an instant, Kubali was all over him, battering him and covering him in small cuts and scratches.
   From seemingly nowhere, a gallery of buzzards had gathered to watch the fray. One of them yelled, “Give it to him, Kubali! Tell him who’s the stupid bird NOW!” It was Markaaagh. Somewhere, somehow, Kubali would remember that the bird used his real name. He was “Fuzzy” no longer.
   Kubali wanted to kill Gamu, and with the rival pinned to the ground, he started to inflict a killing bite to the skull. Elanna stopped him.
   “No, honey tree. There are fates worse than death.” She looked at the pathetic lion You wanted to take Taka’s place. So be it.”
   Gamu tried to shake his head “no.”
   She raised her paw and quickly raked his face. He screamed and rolled out from under Kubali, whimpering and putting a paw over the fresh wound that lay where his right eye had once been. “Oh gods! Oh gods!” His back feet dug into the soil and he kicked spasmodically.
   “Now you ARE Taka. Go and never come back, for the next time I see you, I’ll kill you!”
   He scrambled to regain his footing. Tilting his head to one side, he staggered away yammering in the half-darkness of pain that had become his world. If he lived or died, Aiheu would decide.
   Kubali wanted to apologize, and so did Elanna. Neither could get the words out. Instead they nuzzled, wrestled, kissed and rubbed with a desperate intensity. Tears came, and they lasted a long while. The wounds were deep and cruel, but love would heal them all.
   As for Griz’nik, he went away and they never saw him again.
   Kubali touched Elanna’s tear-stained cheeks with his tongue. “We will never be parted again, though all the Makei in hell stand in our way.”
   The buzzards smiled. “Awwww....”
   “I’m so grateful, my friends.” Kubali touched Markaaagh with his paw, something he’d never done before. “How did you know? It was a miracle!”
   “Maybe you’re right.” Markaaagh bowed, then took off, followed shortly by the others.

CHAPTER: THE MESSENGER

   After Gamu left, the next few weeks passed in a deep river of joy. Rosy dawns nuzzled golden days. Golden days fondled purple evenings. Purple evenings kissed silver stars. Moonlit nights died on the breast of rosy dawns. Day by day, moment by moment, Kubali and Elanna felt their love grow and deepen in breathless beauty. His large paw would gently caress her cheek and turn her deep, soft eyes to face his, and he would draw close and nuzzle her. Times were lean for the two rouges, but safe in the embrace of their love no hint of their low status could intrude on their perfect happiness. Elanna lay with her head on Kubali’s soft mane and closed her eyes. There she would have been content to stay forever with his strong arm about her shoulder.
   Then one night a lioness came and complicated their private dream.
   She appeared through the grass one night as the two were bedded together. Instantly, their heads rose up in surprise to look at the visitor.
   “Kubali, is that you?”
   “Well, uh, yes. Should I know you?”
   The lioness just smiled, “Don’t you remember the one who gave you milk?”
   Kubali stared at her. “Debara?”
   The lioness nodded and smiled, moving towards him, “It’s been a while, Honey Tree.”
   Kubali rose up and nuzzled his old nurse. But he looked into her eyes, concerned. “What are you doing out here far from home? Have you left my father?”
   Debara shook her head. “Your father sent me to look for you.” Tears formed in her eyes. “Honey Tree, I have some bad news.”
   “Dad’s not dying is he??” Kubali lifted her drooping chin gently with his paw. “Nursie, surely not Dad??”
   “Not your Dad. It’s your brother. He’s dead.”
   Kubali took a step backward and sat with a plop, stunned. “Oh my gods!”
   Elanna came and sat next to him, rubbing her cheek against his, kissing away his tears. “Poor darling!”
   “How did it happen, Debbie?”
   “He was hunting with the lionesses. Your father begged him not to go, but you know your brother--he felt more at ease hunting than learning to rule.”
   Kubali looked down. “At least he died doing something he enjoyed.” He half-closed his eyes as Elanna nuzzled him and turned to paw her cheek.
   Debara sighed softly. “Kubali, you’re our only hope. Could you forget the past and come back with me?”
   “Well sure. But what about the lionesses? Aren’t they still angry?”
   Debara stroked his mane gently. “You are our only hope of keeping the pride...you must come back. The others have accepted this.” She smiled softly, “My daughter can’t wait to see you.”
   “Penzi wants me back?”
   Debara chuckled. “She is your betrothed....and you were never that much of a trouble maker...” She bated him gently, “just a normal little brat.”
   “That bad, huh? Well I’ve mellowed out somewhat.”
   He could feel Elanna’s tenseness. “Yeah, about that betrothal. Debara, this is Elanna. If I am to come back, she must join me. A lot has happened in the last few weeks. Time and trials change people. Debara, Lannie and I have--well--shared our comforts. I love her. I can make no plans for the future that don’t include her--you do understand, don’t you?”
   Debara nodded. “You never led Penzi on. You never told her that you loved her. But Honey Tree, she DOES love you, and she HAS told you. If you love me at all, be gentle with her.”
   “I DO love you.”
   “I know.” Debara nuzzled him softly. “The King will be pleased to see you, and I’m sure he’ll understand. Don’t worry yourself, dear. It’s better if you let me speak to Penzi before you announce.”
   Kubali nuzzled Elanna softly, “Come on love. We are going home. You will be my queen and together we will rule the land. You will be my Ka, my conscience.”
   Elanna whispered to him softly, “What about Penzi? Can you face her?”
   “She will understand.”
   “Are you sure they will accept me?” Elanna looked genuinely fearful. “I’ve been alone before--a stranger surrounded by crowds. I don’t know if I could end my life that way.”
   “Lannie, we either come or go as a pair. I love my father and I want to help him, but some things are more important than titles and power. Things like love and decency.”
   Debara looked at Elanna and kissed her cheek. “Honey Tree, you are good for him. I grieve for my daughter’s loss, but I can’t help liking you.”

CHAPTER: ON THE TRAIL

   The three of them walked most of the day. Debara led the way, with Kubali behind her, and Elanna bringing up the tail. Elanna thought of her new future with Kubali. The horrible secret of her torn body played on her mind. She couldn’t give him a son, so if she did become his queen, the line would end with him. She had been afraid of telling him her secret, worried that he might leave her. Now she was depriving more than a husband. She was risking the future of a pride.
   She looked up, watching the two catch up on the missing months. She sighed softly, unheard. How could she admit to him that the light would never shine in her eyes?
   Almost without warning, Debara was next to her. Elanna’s head raised up to look at her. “What’s the matter, Elanna?”
   Elanna just shook her head, “Nothing, just...things...thoughts running through my head.”
   Debara nuzzled her shoulder gently, something that made Elanna jump back slightly. It had been so long since she had felt the affection of another lioness. “We are pride sisters now, Elanna. We’ll help each other. Don’t be afraid.” She batted at Elanna’s shoulder gently. “Don’t think just because you are the future queen, that you have to stay apart from of us.”
   Elanna looked at her, her smile becoming wider at the thought of actually being a part of a pride. She rubbed Debara back and murmured, “You really don’t know how much that means to me.”
   Debara chuckled, “A word of advice, just keep your distance from my daughter for a few days. She is bound to be slightly disappointed.”
   Elanna nodded, “Will she be mad at me?”
   “Most likely, but don’t you worry none, I will keep her under control. She is my daughter after all. Now, let’s hear more about you. I hear you taught this little brat to respect lionesses?”
   Elanna just shrugged. “We met after my old mate was killed and my old pride drove me out. Though we’ve had a few problems, Kubali has shown me unconditional love, and together we made it through.” She smiled softly to Debara. “I thought my life was over. Kubali showed me that I had more to live for, and more to love for.”
   Debara laughed softly, “It’s funny how time heals these wounds. Bless you, Elanna. You saved our pride. You don’t know what it’s like to see everything you love crumbling around you.”
   “Yes I do, Honey Tree.”
   Elanna was about ready to continue to tell Debara more about the time she had spent with Kubali, but soon it was interrupted by a roar of a lioness. Debara returned the roar and looked to the two, “Come on, they have just hunted. If we are quick, we can make it before the meal is gone.”
   With that, the group picked up there pace and, coming into a clearing, ran into the pride, gathered around a kill. Elanna looked over the group, subconsciously moving closer to Kubali. Kubali nuzzled her softly and smiled to the group. Debara looked to the group, “I have brought back the son of our king.” She smiled to the group, “and a new member to our pride.” She motioned to Elanna, “This is Elanna, the lioness who taught our prince some humility.”
   The king stepped forward. “Kubali? My son? Against all hope, I see you again!”
   “Dad, I came as soon as I heard about Ababu. Was it--quick?” When the king hung his head and sobbed, Kubali rushed forward and nuzzled him. “Oh, dad!”
   “Can you forgive me for my mistakes, my son?”
   “Can you forgive me for my mistakes, father?”
   “I have lost one son, but I have found the other. Let us bury the past, my boy.”
   After a few moments a young lioness stepped forward to the two. The King smiled once more. “Kubali, there’s someone that wants to see you.”
   The young lioness moved to nuzzle Kubali. “It has been a long time, my prince.”
   “As has it for me, Penzi.” Kubali replied, not really returning the nuzzle. Penzi looked at him curiously.
   Debara coughed a bit, seeing Elanna getting a bit timid. “Sire, may I speak to you and my daughter in private please?” Penzi and the King looked to Debara curiously.
   The king nodded. “Of course Debara.” He looked to his son and Elanna, motioning to the kill. “No doubt that it has been a long journey--you two nourish yourselves and then we will talk.”
   Kubali started to walk towards the kill, but Elanna stayed where she was. He looked back, “Come on dear...you look hungry.” Timidly she moved next to Kubali to the kill. The lioness make a hole for the two as they approach, some mumbles exchanged between the members of the group. Looking between the kill and Elanna, Kubali ripped off a piece for the two and drug it a little ways off from the group. There, the two eat quietly, not sure what to say to each other.
   After the meal, the two groomed each other, getting more looks from the other lionesses. Elanna could feel these stares as they bore into her soul, but she had been through so much with Kubali, there was no reason for them to hide their affections to other. Soon after the meal was finished, the king, Debara and her daughter reappeared. Penzi walked near her mother, her mood showing that she had heard the news of Elanna as her tail and head were hung low.
   The king stepped to his son and Elanna and spoke, “Members of the pride...I have an announcement. It has come to my attention that this lionesses and this lion...” He motioned to Kubali and Elanna. “...Have fallen in love while my son was away. Although he does have a betrothed here...and against my better judgment...I am willing to allow Elanna to become his queen as reward for watching over my son.”
   Penzi looked at the two, obviously disappointed in her loss, but walked over to them, “I wish you two a long life together.” She nuzzled Elanna gently. “Take good care of him, as I will still love him.”
   Elanna smiled back and return the rub, relieved at her good fortune of being accepted into the pride. Slowly the other lionesses approach the group and introduce themselves. Most of them hovered around Kubali, remarking how well mannered he had become. Every so often, one of them would break away from the prince to introduce themselves to Elanna. Elanna felt it hard to try to keep names and faces together, and she fumbled with it for a bit. By the end of the night, though, she was becoming more comfortable and started making small talk to the other members. How she had longed for this, to actually have friends to speak to. How she missed it in her old pride, when Taka would keep her away from the other lionesses or the other lionesses wouldn’t approach her. Finally, as the night drew to the end, the king approached her.
   “May I speak to you...alone.”
   Elanna looked back to Kubali, who was involved in another conversation. Quietly she walked with the king a short distance away. “Yes, my king?”
   The king asked her about her intentions and the time she spent with Kubali. “I understand how bad it is to be alone, and I’m grateful for everything you’ve done. Really I am. But now it’s time for him to take on his responsibilities. I wish you would reconsider becoming Kubali’s queen.”
   Elanna just looked at him stunned. “But sire...you said...”
   The lion cut her off, “I know what I said...and I won’t force anything. But, you must understand that I have to ask this of you. Penzi is his betrothed and I’m afraid if you marry him, what might befall these lands. I can’t force you to let him go because you did help him. You brought him back to me. Still, I must look after my lands.” He looked at her softly, “You have helped him so much...help him again by letting him go. Let him go, but do not tell him we had this talk. I promise I will reward you if you will do this.”
   “Like...” she said speculatively.
   “There is another male...and he is approaching his mantlement. It would make him...his mother...and me very happy to see a lioness pledge to him. You can be that lioness as a reward for you good deeds.”
   Elanna laughed softly, “Sire...no insult intended...but I can’t do that. Many lionesses don’t find true love once in her life. Even fewer lionesses find it twice. I would be tempting faith to try for three times.” She looked down, “I love him...he gave me life when I thought my life had ended.”
   “Then show your appreciation of that by letting him find his place in the circle.”
   She looked at him, almost distastefully, “I can’t leave him...I’m sorry.”
   “I’m afraid. The gods will be upset because the betrothal is broken. It does not tide well to turn your back on the prompting of the gods. Elanna, I like you--I really do. But I have raised my son over days, weeks, and months. I don’t want him to be hurt.”
   “Then don’t break his heart. Can’t you see that we’re like leaves in the wind? Why didn’t the gods interfere then? Instead, against all odds, our love has survived and grown.”
   He sighed a bit, “Yes, Elanna. I can see that you are past controlling your feelings. So be it. I will not interfere.” He moved and nuzzled her. “If it is from you that the heir comes, you are my daughter and I will shelter and love you. Welcome to the pride.”
   She tensed at the nuzzle but returned it, feeling more relieved, “Thank you, sire. I will not mention this to Kubali.”
   He smiled, “Thank you. Now enjoy your husband.” With that, they separated and she walked back to be by Kubali’s side.

CHAPTER: THE DREAM

   It had been a few nights since they had rejoined the pride. She was making new friends and had even been on a very successful hunt with them. That was the best, she thought, having ‘sisters’ again. She could see the young male that she would have pledged to, watching over her. It wasn’t really bad, she thought. She liked have a bit of attention on her and not be it for bad reasons.
   Other things did bother her, however. Although the king had accepted her into the pride as his daughter, he still didn’t go out of his way to be friendly to her. Same thing with Penzi. She had mentioned this to Debara and she just shrug it off, “Don’t worry, Elanna,” she would say. “They will get friendlier to you with time. Just wait till you bear the Prince cubs. You will become everyone’s darling then. Who can resist a mother and her young cubs?”
   They might have told Penzi that she could just wait for him--when Elanna was gone, she could be there to console Kubali. They gossip about her. Did she really tell the whole truth? Was Taka really that bad? Might she have had something to do with Scar's death? Of course they don't mean it mean, but they do wonder about these things. Maybe one of them gets put up to ask her none too discretely. Awkwardly, in fact. Maybe this triggers the nightmare.
   The most disturbing event happened during her sleep. As she was cuddled with Kubali, she feel asleep. She woke up in a dream, to see the land as it was under Taka. The lionesses all looked thin and the lands were parched. She went to Kubali to talk to thing. He turned to look at her, but it wasn’t Kubali’s face that she saw...it was Taka’s...his faced marred by the scar. She gasped and turned suddenly away from, only to come face to face with the king.
   “See what you did, daughter? See what you did by your selfishness. You condemned these lands to this horror. If only you would had accepted my offer, this land would not be in this shape. That young lion that I had offered to you...he was the first to die.”
   Elanna gasped. “No! Not again! Oh gods, was the curse on me instead?? Was it me all along??”
   Suddenly, Elanna’s eyes flew open as she panted heavily against Kubali’s side. Her eyes scanned the area, just to see the peaceful scene she had seen before she feel asleep. Kubali’s eyes slowly opened and looked at her, “Dear?”
   She turned to look at him, her breath calming down, “I’m all right...go back to sleep.”
   He nuzzled her softly, “Bad dream?”
   She purred softly and nodded. “Yes...but I can’t really talk about it. I’ll be fine, love.”
   He yawned and gave her cheek a quick lick. “All right dear...if you say so. I’ll be right here if you need me.”
   She did not fall asleep, however. Her mind raced of thoughts of the king’s word to her. Would this land fall into a drought because of me? Would Aiheu punish us all for my selfish love? What if he knew that I could never give him a cub? Now I’m not only ruining his future, but the future of a pride.
   That last thought stung her deeply. She could never be his queen because of that. There would be no continue of the line beyond him. She looked down and sigh. She would have to leave him...give him a chance to have a future. She nuzzled against him, knowing it would be their last night together. He grunted with satisfaction, feeling her warmth against his body.
   The next morning came quickly and she looked at him, fondling his mane like she did the first night. “Thank you for all of the things you gave me.”
   He woke up slowly, purring at the fondle. “Thank me for what love?”
   She looked at him sadly. “For all of the times we were together.” She sighed, building up her courage. “Love...I have to go.”
   His head shot up instantly. “What? Why?” he stammered.
   She continued to fondle him gently. “Dear...I have kept a horrible secret from you...something you must hear before you take me as your queen.”
   His tongue licked at her paw. “Whatever it is...you will always be my queen.”
   “Dear...I can’t have cubs.”
   He looked at her stunned. “What?”
   “Taka gave me cubs one time, but it was not to be. The cubs came out dead...along with any chances of me having anymore.”
   He shook his head. “I don’t care...I love you. You will still be my queen.”
   “And what about the pride? Without me being able to have cubs, you will have no heir. Your line will end.”
   He licked her check softly. “I don’t care about being king...I care about you.”
   “But you are prince, and a prince must someday be a king. You must not think about yourself. You must think of your pride.” She rose up slowly, giving him a soft lick. “Look for me when you join the stars. Part of you will always be with me, and I will not forget you.” With that, she slowly began to walk off.
   Kubali rose up also, following her. “I’m coming with you...I give this up for you.”
   She turned quickly, “No...you can’t. You must stay here and be king.” Kubali froze as she continued, “Tell your father and Debara thank you for welcoming me.” She moved back to him and gave him another nuzzle. “Tell Penzi that she will get a loving mate.”
   “Elanna...please.”
   “Before when we parted it was because of a secret, a lie, or a misunderstanding. This time I am completely certain in what I’m doing. This time it’s the truth that must split us apart. You know what will happen if I remain. Your father will discover that I am barren, and he will drive me off. I will tell him so myself before I let you throw away everything Aiheu meant you to have. Besides, it is Penzi that really loves you. I just wanted a little companionship.”
   “Don’t say that!”
   “But it’s true! I like you well enough, and you’re a very good lover as far as that goes. But I’m just not in love with you. Penzi is, and your feelings for her could be returned.”
   “But Elanna! I know it’s not so! I know you love me! I felt your body tremble next to mine! Oh gods, you can’t tell me that was all an act!”
   She kissed him gently. “That does not matter now. You gave me back my self respect. We were together when we needed each other. Now you need Penzi and she needs you.”
   “And what do you need??”
   “I need to face my past. I need to go some place where you can’t come. Darling, if you love me, let me go. Please??”
   “Say you love me first.”
   She looked at him, eyes moist with tears. “I won’t lie to you. I am a ripped gazelle, and my heart is being slowly eaten.” She came and kissed his cheek quickly, then turned and trotted away into the grass. A short distance off, she heard his mournful roar. She fell to the ground and sobbed.

CHAPTER: SO CLOSE, YET SO FAR

   The heat started to build as the sun rose in the sky. A lone lioness walked through the golden savanna, unsure where to go.
   Her future looked bright just the day before, but now she was alone again. She had been with Kubali for so long, she had forgotten what it felt like to be alone. Looking around, all she could see was the flowing grass. Not only was she alone...she was lost.
   She continued to walk, desperate to find her way back to where she was. She continued to look for any sign of a jutting rock that signaled her childhood home. Her mind now set...it was time to face her punishment. If they accepted her back, at least she would have companions. If not...she would join her long lost husband.
   The problem was trying to find her old home. She had been walking for nearly a full day, and her legs were starting to buckle under her. It had been a few days since her last good meal, so hunger started to return to her body. Finally, after she had walked as far as she could, her body gave out and collapsed the ground.
   Her stomach protested, but she tried to put that in the back of her mind as she did with the memory of her husband. Her aching limbs seemed to make a sigh of relief as her weight now spread over her whole body. She laid her head down on the ground and mumbled softly, “Hunt tomorrow...” She was soon asleep.
   Her sleep was restless. Her first night in a long time with out someone next to her was troublesome. She missed the warmth of Kubali’s body and she missed the safety she felt when next to him, her head buried in the soft hair of his mane. How she wished she could be next to him, but deep down she knew it wasn’t meant to be.
   Aiheu had other plans for her, but what? She wanted to be in a group--she hated being a rogue. The fear of what her old pride still felt about her preyed on her mind...the hyena’s warning rang in her ears. “They’ll rip you!”
   She woke the next day, not really feeling refreshed at all. She rose out of the grasses and yawned, looking around. She looked into the sky, seeing them. “Can it be the same group,” she wondered aloud. She wasn’t going to take the chance that they weren’t and began to move towards the circling birds. In a few minutes, she caught up with the group and smiled.
   “Hello Markaaagh.”
   The buzzard pulled his head out of a impala carcass and looked to the lioness, “well...if it isn’t Fuzzy’s mate. Har har!”
   She smiled slightly, remembering how he hated that name. “Yeah...it’s me.” She moved to the carcass. “Is the deal still in place...because I could really use some food.”
   Markaaagh flapped a bit out of the way. “Of course.” He looked around, noticing the absence. “So...where is he? After you two routed that lion, I thought you two wouldn’t be more than a step away from each other. Don’t you love him enough to stay with him?”
   She sighed slightly, taking a bit of meat from the carcass, “I love him too much to stay with him.” She gulped down the slightly aging meat and sighed, reaching for some more.
   “Eat up, Honey Tree! You are delirious!” The vulture moved closer to her. “If there is anything you need that I can get, I will offer it to you. Our old agreement still stands.”
   She looked at the vulture, her nose wrinkling slightly at the familiar foul smell. “I do need one thing. Do you know of a place called ‘Pride Rock’?”
   He seemed to go in thought for a moment and shook his head, “No...I’m sorry...can’t say I ever heard of it. But I don’t usually talk to them what can talk back. Har har! Maybe if you describe it, I might know where it is.”
   Elanna described to the vulture about the lion pride that lived there, the huge rock the dominated the skyline, and about the terrible drought that over took the land. Markaaagh took some time and nodded, “I know where that is...had some fine pickings a while back, but now it’s lean times for us.” He smiled only how a vulture can. “Not that they’re sorry to see us go.”
   “Can you show me the way?”
   He just chuckled. “Of course...we were heading that way anyway. Times may be good for the lions there, but there is always something for us to eat there. Har har!”
   She just smiled. “Oh thank you...”
   After she had a bit of meat and let the vultures feed on the remaining portion of the carcass, they started to make their way towards her old homelands. After a walk that took the better part of the day, she finally saw it...the jutting stone of Pride Rock.

CHAPTER: IN THE SHADOW

   Through the walk...the thoughts that haunted her dreams came back. Would she be accepted back or be killed for her husband’s crime? She finally reached the stream that marked the border of her lands...the lands of her family. She stopped...the small trail of water becoming a huge stone wall blocking her quest. Markaaagh noticed her balking and flew down to meet her. “Is this not where you want to be, Missy?”
   “No...this is it.” She slowly scanned the sky...and something caught her eyes. It was a small bird...flying from the rock. To her horror it was coming right towards her. It must be Zazu, she thought. How could she face him after what Taka had done to him? He would tell the king immediately and the hunting party would be formed to go after her. She gasped loudly and shook. “No...I can’t stay here.”
   The buzzard just looked at her, “what...what is it?”
   Without answering, she turned quickly and ran into the grass, leaving the flock of buzzards in complete confusion as she disappeared.
   Heart pounding and sweet dripping from her brow, Elanna put more distance between her and her home. She had stood so close to going back to her old life...and yet. It was the doubt in her mind about how she would be greeted that made her run.
   The thought of being alone ran through her mind also. Now it would be for good. She couldn’t go home...and she definitely could not go back to Kubali. The feelings were just too strong for her to be anything but his mate.
   The urgency of getting away soon faded and she slowed down to a slow trot. She looked around the surround area to get her bearings. Her gaze fell back to where she came from. Only the very tip of Pride Rock was barely visible over the golden grass. She dropped her head and continued to walk away slowly, until Pride Rock was nothing more than a memory.
   The day slowly faded away as the sun set in the west. Not seeing anyone coming after her, she figured it was safe for her to lie down and try to rest her aching muscles some. She flopped into the grass, disappearing from sight. She sighed, thinking of her future. Now, even the vultures wouldn’t talk to her. She was truly alone...or was she?