The small man's smile was thin and Jherek knew enough to understand that it was not particularly friendly. Hastily, he said: "My friends — over there!"
   "Ah!" This seemed sufficient explanation. The small man was relieved. "Your hat and coat, sir?"
   Jherek realized that he was supposed to give these items of clothing to the man as some form of surety. Willingly, he dispensed with them, and made his way as quickly as possible to the table where he had seen Jagged.
   But, somehow, Jagged had managed to disappear again.
   A man with a coarse, good-natured face, adorned by a large black moustache, looked up at Jherek enquiringly. "How d'ye do?" he said heartily. "You'd be M. Fromental, from Paris? I'm Harris — and this is Mr. Wells, whom you wrote to me about." He indicated a narrow-faced, slight man, with a scrubby moustache and startlingly bright pale blue eyes. "Wells, this is the agent chap Pinker mentioned. He wants to handle all your work over there."
   "I'm afraid…" began Jherek.
   "Sit down my dear fellow and have some wine." Mr. Harris stood up, shaking his hand warmly, pressing him downwards into a chair. "How are all my good friends in Paris? Zola? I was sorry to hear about poor Goncourt. And how is Daudet, at present? Madame Rattazzi is well, I hope." He winked. "And be sure, when you return, to give my regards to my old friend the Comtesse de Loynes…"
   "The man," said Jherek, "who was sitting across the table from you. Do you know him, Mr. Harris?"
   "He's a contributor to the Review from time to time, like everyone else here. Name of Jackson. Does little pieces on the arts for us."
   "Jackson?"
   "Do you know his stuff? If you want to meet him, I'll be glad to introduce you. But I thought your interest in coming to the Cafe Royale tonight was in talking to H. G. Wells here. He's a rather larger gun, these days, eh, Wells?" Mr. Harris roared with laughter and slapped Mr. Wells on the shoulder. The quieter man smiled wanly, but he was plainly pleased by Harris's description.
   "It's a pity so few of our other regular contributors are here tonight," Harris went on. "Kipling said he'd come, but as usual hasn't turned up. A bit of a dour old dog, y'know. And nothing of Richards for weeks. We thought we were to be blessed by a visitation from Mr. Pett Ridge, too, tonight. All we can offer are Gregory, here, one of our editors." A gangling young man who grinned as, unsteadily, he poured himself another glass of champagne. "And this is our drama critic, name of Shaw." A red-bearded, sardonic looking man with eyes almost as arresting as Mr. Wells's, dressed in a suit of tweeds which seemed far too heavy for the weather, acknowledged the introduction with a grave bow from where he was seated at the far end of the table looking over a bundle of printed papers and occasionally making marks on them with his pen.
   "I am glad to meet all of you, gentlemen," said Jherek Carnelian desperately. "But it is the man — Mr. Jackson, you called him — who I am anxious to speak to."
   "Hear that, Wells?" cried Mr. Harris. "He's not interested in your fanciful flights at all. He wants Jackson. Jackson!" Mr. Harris looked rather blearily about him. "Where's Jackson gone? He'll be delighted to know he's read in Paris, I'm sure. We'll have to put his rates up to a guinea an item if he gets any more famous."
   Mr. Wells was frowning, staring hard at Jherek. When he spoke, his voice was surprisingly high. "You don't look too well, M. Fromental. Have you recently come over?"
   "Very recently," said Jherek. "And my name isn't Fromental. It's Carnelian."
   "Where on earth is Jackson?" Mr. Harris was demanding.
   "We're all a bit drunk," said Mr. Wells to Jherek. "The last of the copy's gone off and Frank always likes to come here to celebrate." He called to Mr. Harris. "Probably gone back to the office, wouldn't you say?"
   "That's it," said Mr. Harris satisfied.
   "Would you kindly refrain from making so much damned noise, Harris!" said the red-headed man at the far end of the table. "I promised these proofs back by tonight. And where's our dinner, by the way?"
   Mr. Wells leaned forward and touched Mr. Harris on the arm. "Are you absolutely sure this chap Fromental's turning up, Harris? I should have left by now. I've some business to attend to."
   "Turning up? He's here, isn't he?"
   "This appears to be a Mr. Carnelian," said Mr. Wells dryly.
   "Oh, really? Well, Fromental will turn up. He's reliable."
   "I didn't think you knew him personally."
   "That's right," Mr. Harris said airily, "but I've heard a lot about him. He's just the man to help you, Wells."
   Mr. Wells seemed sceptical. "Well, I'd better get off, I think."
   "You won't stay to have your supper?" Mr. Harris was disappointed. "There were one or two ideas I wanted to discuss with you."
   "I'll drop round to the office during the week, if that's all right," said Mr. Wells, rising. He took his watch from his waistcoat pocket. "If I get a cab I ought to make it to Charing Cross in time for the nine o'clock train."
   "You're going back to Woking?"
   "To Bromley," said Mr. Wells. "Some business I promised to clear up for my parents."
   "To Bromley, did you say?" Jherek sprang from his chair. "To Bromley, Mr. Wells?"
   Mr. Wells was amused. "Why, yes. D'you know it?"
   "You are going now?"
   "Yes."
   "I have been trying to get to Bromley for — well, for a very long time. Might I accompany you?"
   "Certainly." Mr. Wells laughed. "I never heard of anyone who was eager to visit Bromley before. Most of us are only too pleased to get away from it. Come on, then, Mr. Carnelian. We'll have to hurry!"

11. A Conversation on Time Machines and Other Topics

   Although Mr. Wells's spirits seemed to have lifted considerably after he had left the Cafe Royale, he did not speak much until they had left the cab and were safely seated in a second class carriage which smelled strongly of smoke. At the ticket office Jherek had been embarrassed when he was expected to pay for his fare, but Wells, generously supposing him to have no English money, had paid for them both. Now he sat panting in one corner while Jherek sat opposite him in the other. Jherek took a wondering curiosity in the furnishings of the carriage. They were not at all as he had imagined them. He noted little stains and tears in the upholstery and assured himself that he would reproduce them faithfully at the next opportunity.
   "I am extremely grateful to you, Mr. Wells. I had begun to wonder if I should ever find Bromley."
   "You have friends there, have you?"
   "One friend, yes. A lady. Perhaps you know her?"
   "I know one or two people still, in Bromley."
   "Mrs. Amelia Underwood?"
   Mr. Wells frowned, shook his head and began to pack tobacco into his pipe. "No, I'm afraid not. What part does she live in?"
   "Her address is 23 Collins Avenue."
   "Ah, yes. One of the newer streets. Bromley's expanded a lot since I was a lad."
   "You know the street?"
   "I think so, yes. I'll put you on your way, don't worry." Mr. Wells sat back with his eyes twinkling. "Typical of old Harris to confuse you with someone else he'd never met. For some reason he hates to admit that he doesn't know someone. As a result he claims to know people he's absolutely no acquaintance with, they hear that he's spoken of them as if they were his dearest friends, get offended and won't have anything to do with him!" Mr. Wells's voice was high-pitched, bubbling, animated. "I'm inclined to be a bit in awe of him, none the less. He's ruined half-a-dozen papers, but still publishes some of the best stuff in London — and he gave me a chance I needed. You write for the French papers do you, Mr. Carnelian?"
   "Well, no…" said Jherek, anxious not to have a repetition of his previous experience, when he had told the absolute truth and had been thoroughly disbelieved. "I travel a little."
   "In England?"
   "Oh, yes."
   "And where have you visited so far?"
   "Just the 19th century," said Jherek.
   Mr. Wells plainly thought he had misheard Jherek, then his smile broadened. "You've read my book!" he said ebulliently. "You travel in time, do you, sir?"
   "I do," said Jherek, relieved to be taken seriously for once.
   "And you have a time machine?" Mr. Wells's eyes twinkled again.
   "Not now," Jherek told him. "In fact, I'm looking for one, for I won't be able to use the method by which I arrived, to return. I'm from the future, you see, not the past."
   "I see," said Mr. Wells gravely. The train had begun to move off. Jherek looked at identical smoke-grimed roof after identical smoke-grimed roof illumined by the gas-lamps.
   "The houses all seem to be very similar and closely packed," he said. "They're rather different to those I saw earlier."
   "Near the Cafe Royale? Yes, well you won't have slums in your age, of course."
   "Slums?" said Jherek. "I don't think so." He was enjoying the jogging motion of the train. "This is great fun."
   "Not quite like your monorails, eh?" said Mr. Wells.
   "No," said Jherek politely. "Do you know Mr. Jackson, Mr. Wells? The man who left when I arrived."
   "I've seen him once or twice. Had the odd chat with him. He seems interesting. But I visit the Saturday Review 's offices very infrequently — usually when Harris insists on it. He needs to see his contributors from time to time, to establish their reality, I think." Mr. Wells smiled in anticipation of his next remark. "Or perhaps to establish his own."
   "You don't know where he lives in London?"
   "You'll have to ask Harris that, I'm afraid."
   "I'm not sure I'll have the chance now. As soon as I find Mrs. Underwood we'll have to start looking for a time machine. Would you know where to find one, Mr. Wells?"
   Mr. Wells's reply was mysterious. "In here," he said, tapping his forehead with his pipestem. "That's where I found mine."
   "You built your own?"
   "You could say that."
   "They are not common in this period, then?"
   "Not at all common. Indeed, some critics have accused me of being altogether too imaginative in my claims. They consider my inventions not sufficiently rooted in reality."
   "So time machines are just starting to catch on?"
   "Well, mine seems to be catching on quite well. I'm beginning to get quite satisfactory results, although very few people expected it to go at first."
   "You wouldn't be prepared to build me one, would you, Mr. Wells?"
   "I'm afraid I'm more of a theorist than a practical scientist," Mr. Wells told him. "But if you build one and have any success, be sure to let me know."
   "The only one I travelled in broke. There was evidence, by the way, to suggest that it came from a period two thousand years before this one. So perhaps you are actually re -discovering time travel."
   "What a splendid notion, Mr. Carnelian. It's rare for me to meet someone with your particular quality of imagination. You should write the idea into a story for your Parisian readers. You'd be a rival to M. Verne in no time!"
   Jherek hadn't quite followed him. "I can't write," he said. "Or read."
   "No true Eloi should be able to read or write." Mr. Wells puffed on his pipe, peering out of the window. The train now ran past wider-spaced houses in broader streets as if some force at the centre of the city had the power to condense the buildings, as clay is condensed by centrifugal force as it is whirled on the potter's wheel. Jherek was hard put to think of any explanation and finally dismissed the problem. How, after all, could he expect to understand Dawn Age aesthetics as it were overnight?
   "It's a shame you aren't doing my translations, M. Carnelian, you'd do a better job, I suspect, than some. You could even improve on the existing books!"
   Again unable to follow the animated words of the young man, Jherek Carnelian gave up, merely nodding.
   "Still, it wouldn't do to let oneself get too far-fetched, I suppose," Mr. Wells said thoughtfully. "People often ask me where I get my incredible ideas. They think I'm deliberately sensational. They don't seem to realize that the ideas seem very ordinary to me."
   "Oh, they seem exceptionally ordinary to me, also!" said Jherek, eager to agree.
   "Do you think so?" piped. H. G. Wells a little coldly.
   "Here we are, Mr. Carnelian. This is your fabulous Bromley. We seem to be the only visitors at this time of night." Mr. Wells opened the carriage door and stepped out onto the platform. The station was lit by oil-lamps which flickered in a faint breeze. At the far end of the train a man in uniform put a whistle to his lips and blew a shrill blast, waving a green flag. Mr. Wells closed the door behind them and the train began to move out of the station. They walked past boxes full of flowers, past a white-painted fence, until they came to the exit. Here an old man accepted the tickets Mr. Wells handed him. They crossed the station precinct and entered a street full of two-story houses. A few gas-lamps lit the street. From somewhere nearby a horse trotted past. A couple of children were playing around one of the lamps. Jherek and Mr. Wells turned a corner.
   "This is the High Street," Mr. Wells informed him. "I was born here, you know. It hasn't changed that much, though Bromley itself has expanded. It's pretty much a suburb of London now."
   "Ah," murmured Jherek.
   "There's Medhurst's," Mr. Wells pointed towards a darkened shop-front, "and that's where Atlas House used to be. It was never much of a success, my father's china shop. There's the old Bell , where most of the profits were spent. Cooper's the tailors, seems to have gone out of business. Woodall's fish-shop…" He chuckled. "For a time, you know, this was Heaven for me. Then it was Hell. Now, it's merely Purgatory."
   "Why have you come back, Mr. Wells?"
   "Business of my father's to clear up. I'll stop at the Rose and Crown and go back in the morning. It doesn't do any harm for a writer to take a look at his roots occasionally. I've come a long way since Bromley and Up Park. I've been very lucky, I suppose."
   "And so have I been lucky, Mr. Wells, in meeting you." Jherek was almost ecstatic. "Bromley!" he breathed.
   "You must be this town's first tourist, Mr. Carnelian."
   "Thank you," Jherek said vaguely.
   "Now," said Mr. Wells, "I'll put you on your way to Collins Avenue, then I'll head for the Rose and Crown before they begin to wonder what's happened to me."
   Mr. Wells escorted him through several streets, where the hedges were extremely high and the houses much newer looking, until they paused on a corner of one tree-lined, gas-lit road. "Here we are in darkest semi-detached land," Mr. Wells announced. "Collins Avenue, see?"
   He pointed out a sign which Jherek couldn't read.
   "And where would Number Twenty Three be?"
   "Well, I'd say about half-way up — let's see — on this side of the road. Yes — can you see it — right by that lamp."
   "You're very kind, Mr. Wells. In a few moments I shall be re-united with my lost love! I have crossed thousands of centuries to be at her side! I have disproved the Morphail Theorem! I have dared the dangerous and surging seas of Time! At last, at least, I near the end of my arduous quest for Bromley!" Jherek took Mr. Wells by the shoulders and kissed him firmly upon the forehead. "And it is thanks to you , Mr. Wells, my dear!"
   Mr. Wells backed away, perhaps a trifle nervously. "Glad to have been of insistence — um — assistance to you, Mr. Carnelian. Now I really must rush." And he turned and began to walk rapidly back in the direction they had come from.
   Jherek was too happy to notice any change in Mr. Wells's manner. He strode with buoyant steps along the pavement of Collins Avenue. He reached a gate of curly cast iron. He jumped over it and walked up a crazy-paving path to the door of a red-brick Gothic villa not at all unlike the one Mrs. Underwood had had him build for her at the End of Time.
   He knew what to do, for she had trained him well. He found the bell. He tugged it. He removed his top hat, wishing that he had remembered to bring some flowers with him. He studied, in admiration, the stained glass lilies set into the top half of the door.
   There came a movement from within the house and at last the door was opened, but not by Mrs. Underwood. A rather young girl stood there. She wore black, with a white cap and a white apron. She looked at Jherek Carnelian with a mixture of surprise, curiosity and contempt.
   "Yus?"
   "This is Twenty Three Collins Avenue, Bromley, Kent, England, 1896?"
   "It is."
   "The residence of the beautiful Mrs. Amelia Underwood?"
   "It's the Underwood residence right enough. What's your business?"
   "I have come to see Mrs. Underwood. Is she within?"
   "What's the name?"
   "Carnelian. Tell her that Jherek Carnelian is here to take her back to their love-nest."
   "Gor blimey!" said the young girl. "It's a bloomin' loony!"
   "I do not follow you."
   "You'd better not try, mister. Be off wiv yer! Garn! Mrs. Underwood'll 'ave the p'lice on yer wiv talk like that!" She tried to close the door, but Jherek was already partly inside. "Mrs. Underwood's a respectable lady! Shove off — go on !"
   "I am really at a loss," said Jherek mildly, "to understand why you should have become so excited." Baffled, he still refused to budge. "Please tell Mrs. Underwood that I am here."
   "Oh, lor! Oh, lor!" cried the girl. " 'Ave a bit o' sense, will yer! You'll get yerself arrested! There's a good chap — be on yer way and we'll say no more about it."
   "I have come for Mrs. Underwood," Jherek said firmly. "I don't know why you should wish to stop me from seeing her. Perhaps I have offended one of your customs? I was convinced that I had done everything right. If there is something I should do — some convention I should follow — point it out, point it out. I have no desire to be rude."
   "Rude! Oh, lor!" And turning her head she shouted back into the hall. "Mum! Mum! There's a maniac outside. I can't 'old him all be meself!"
   A door opened. The hallway grew lighter. A figure in a dress of maroon velvet appeared.
   "Mrs. Underwood!" cried Jherek. "Mrs. Amelia Underwood! It is I, Jherek Carnelian, returned to claim you for my own!"
   Mrs. Underwood was as beautiful as ever, but even as he watched she grew gradually paler and paler. She leaned against the wall, her hand rising to her face. Her lips moved, but no sound issued from them.
   "Help me, mum!" begged the maid, retreating into the hall. "I can't manage 'im be meself. You know 'ow strong these loonies can be!"
   "I have returned, Mrs. Underwood. I have returned!"
   "You —" He could barely hear the words. "You — were hanged , Mr. Carnelian. By the neck, until dead."
   "Hanged? In the time machine, you mean? I thought you said you would go with me. I waited. You were evidently unable to join me. So I came back."
   "C-came back!"
   He pushed his way past the shivering maid. He stretched out his arms to embrace the woman he loved.
   She put a pale hand to a pale forehead. There was a certain wild, distracted look in her eyes and she seemed to be talking to herself.
   "My experiences — too much — knew I had not recovered properly — brain fever…"
   And before he could take her to him she had collapsed upon the red and black Moorish-patterned carpet.

12. The Awful Dilemma of Mrs. Amelia Underwood

   "Now look wot you've gorn an' done!" said the little maid accusingly. "Ain't you ashamed of yerself?"
   "How could I have made her swoon?"
   "You frightened 'er somefink crool — jest like you frightened me ! All that dirty talk!"
   Jherek kneeled beside Mrs. Amelia Underwood, patting ineffectually at her limp hands.
   "You promise you won't do nuffink nasty an' I'll go an' get some water an' sal volatile ," said the girl, looking at him warily.
   "Nasty? I?"
   "Oo, yore a cool one!" The girl's tone was half-chiding, half-admiring as she left the hall through a door under the staircase, but she no longer seemed to regard him as a complete menace. She returned very quickly, holding a glass of water in one hand and a small green bottle in the other. "Stand back," she said firmly. She joined Jherek on the floor, lifted Mrs. Underwood's head under one arm and put the bottle to her nose. Mrs. Underwood moaned.
   "Yore very lucky indeed," the maid said, "that Mr. Underwood's at 'is meeting. But 'e'll be back soon enough. Then you'll be in trouble!"
   Mrs. Underwood opened her eyes. When she saw Jherek, she closed them again. And again she moaned, but this time it seemed that she moaned with despair.
   "Have no fear," whispered Jherek. "I will have you away from all this as soon as you have recovered."
   Her voice, when she managed to speak, was quite controlled. "Where have you been, Mr. Carnelian, if you were not hanged?"
   "Been? In my own age, of course. The age you love. Where we were happy."
   "I am happy here , Mr. Carnelian, with my husband, Mr. Underwood."
   "Of course. But you are not as happy as you would be with me."
   She took a sip from the glass of water, brushed the smelling salts aside, and began to get to her feet. Jherek and the maid helped her. She walked slowly into the sitting room, a rather understated version of the one Jherek had created for her. The harmonium, he noticed, did not have nearly so many stops as the one he had made, and the aspidistra was not as vibrant; neither was the quality of the antimacassars all it could have been. But the smell was better. It was fuller, staler.
   Carefully she seated herself in one of the large armchairs near the fireplace. Jherek remained standing. She said to the girl:
   "You may go, Maude Emily."
   "Go, miss?"
   "Yes, dear. Mr. Carnelian, though a stranger to our customs, is not dangerous. He is from abroad."
   "Aeow!" said Maude Emily, considerably relieved and illumined, satisfied now that she had an explanation which covered everything. "Well, I'm sorry about the mistake then, sir." She made something of a curtsey and left.
   "She's a good-hearted girl, but not very well trained," said Mrs. Underwood apologetically. "You know the difficulties one has getting — but, of course, you would not know. She has only been with us a fortnight and has broken almost every scrap of china in the house, but she means well. We got her from a Home, you know."
   "A home?"
   "A Home. A Girl's Home. Something like a Reformatory. The idea is not to punish them but to train them for some useful occupation in Life. Usually, of course, they go into Service."
   The word had a faintly familiar ring to it. "Cannon fodder!" said Jherek. "A shilling a day!" He felt at something of a loss.
   "I had forgotten," she said. "Forgive me. You know so little about our society."
   "On the contrary," he said. "I know even more than before. When we return, Mrs. Underwood, you will be surprised at how much I have learned."
   "I do not intend to return to your decadent age, Mr. Carnelian."
   There was an icy quality in her voice which he found disturbing.
   "I was only too happy to escape," she continued. Then a little more kindly, "Not, of course, that you weren't the soul of hospitality, after your fashion. I shall always be grateful to you for that, Mr. Carnelian. I had begun to convince myself that I had dreamed most of what took place…"
   "Dreamed that you loved me?"
   "I did not tell you I loved you, Mr. Carnelian."
   "You indicated…"
   "You misread my —"
   "I cannot read at all. I thought you would teach me."
   "I mean that you misinterpreted something I might have said. I was not myself, that time in the garden. It was fortunate that I was snatched away before we … Before we did anything we should both regret."
   He was not perturbed. "You love me. I know you do. In your letter —"
   "I love Mr. Underwood. He is my husband."
   "I shall be your husband."
   "It is not possible."
   "Anything is possible. When I return, my power rings…"
   "It is not what I meant, Mr. Carnelian."
   "We could have real children," he said coaxingly.
   "Mr. Carnelian!" Her colour had returned at last.
   "You are beautiful," he said.
   "Please, Mr. Carnelian."
   He sighed with pleasure. "Very beautiful."
   "I shall have to ask you to leave. As it is, my husband will be returning shortly, from his meeting. I shall have to explain that you are an old friend of my father's — that he met your family when he was a missionary in the South Seas. It will be a lie, and I hate to lie. But it will save both our feelings. Say as little as possible."
   "You know that you love me," he announced firmly. "Tell him that. You will leave with me now."
   "I will do no such thing! Already there has been difficulty — my appearance in court — the potential scandal. Mr. Underwood is not an over-imaginative man, but he became quite suspicious at one point…"
   "Suspicious?"
   "Of the story I was forced to concoct, to try to save you, Mr. Carnelian, from the noose."
   "Noose of what?"
   A note of desperation entered her voice. "How, by the way, did you manage to escape death and come here?"
   "I did not know death threatened! I suppose it is always a risk in time travel, though. I came here thanks to the help of a kindly, mechanical old creature called Nurse. I had been trying for some while to find a means of returning to 1896 so that we might be reunited. A happy accident led to a succession of events which finally resulted in my arrival here, in Collins Avenue. Do you know a Mr. Wells?"
   "No. Did he claim to know me?"
   "No. He was on some business of his father's at the Rose and Crown . He was telling me that he invented time machines. A hobby, I gather. He does not manufacture them, but leaves that to others. I had meant to ask him for the name of a craftsman who could build one for us. It will make our return much easier."
   "Mr. Carnelian, I have returned — for good. This is my home."
   He looked critically about him. "It is smaller than our home. It has a trace or two more authenticity, I'll grant you, but it lacks a certain life, wouldn't you say? Perhaps I should not mention Mr. Underwood's failings, but it would seem to me he could have given you a little more." He lost interest in the subject and began to feel in his pockets, to see if he had brought something which could be a gift, but all he had was the deceptor-gun Nurse had handed back to him shortly before he had begun his journey. "I know that you like bunches of flowers and water closets and so forth (you see, I have remembered every detail of what you told me) but I forgot to make some flowers, and a water closet, of course, might have proved too bulky an object to carry through time. However," and he had a revelation as he began to tug off his nicest power ring, a ruby, "if you would accept this, I would be more than happy."
   "I cannot accept gifts of any sort from you, Mr. Carnelian. How should I explain it to my husband?"
   "Explain that I had given you something? Would that be necessary?"
   "Oh, please, please go!" She started as she heard a movement in the passage outside. "It is he!" She stared wildly around the room. "Remember," she said in an urgent whisper, "what I told you."
   "I will try, but I don't understand…"
   The door of the sitting room opened and a man of average height entered.
   Mr. Underwood wore a pair of pince-nez upon his nose. His hay-coloured hair was parted firmly in the middle. His high, white collar pressed mercilessly into his pink neck and the knot of his tie was so tight and small as to be almost microscopic. He was unbuttoning his jacket with the air of a man removing protective clothing in an environment which might not be altogether safe. Precisely, he put down a black book he had carried in with him. Precisely, he raised his eyebrows and, with precision, brushed back a hair which had strayed loose from his perfectly symmetrical moustache. "Good evening," he said with only a hint of enquiry. He acknowledged the presence of his wife. "My dear."
   "Good evening, Harold. Harold, this is Mr. Carnelian. He has just come from the Antipodes, where his father and mine, as you might recall, were missionaries."
   "Carnelian? An unusual name, sir. Yet, as I remember, the same as that felon's who…"
   "His brother," said Mrs. Underwood. "I was commiserating with him as you entered."
   "A dreadful business," Mr. Underwood glanced at a newspaper on the sideboard with the eye of a hunter who sees his quarry disappearing from bowshot. He sighed and perhaps he smiled. "My wife was very brave, you know, in offering to speak for the defence. Great risk of scandal. I was only telling Mr. Griggs, at the Bible Meeting tonight, that if we all had such courage in following the teachings of our conscience we might come considerably closer to the gates of the Kingdom of Heaven."
   "Ha, ha," said Mrs. Underwood. "You are very kind, Harold. I only did my duty."
   "We do not all have your fortitude, my dear. She is an admirable woman, is she not, Mr. Carnelian?"
   "Without doubt," said Jherek feelingly. He stared with unashamed curiosity at his rival. "The most wonderful woman in your world — in any world, Mr. Underwood."
   "Um, yes," said Mr. Underwood. "You are, of course, grateful for the sacrifice she made. Your enthusiasm is understandable…"
   "Sacrifice?" Jherek turned to Mrs. Underwood. "I was not aware that this society practised such rites? Whom did you…?"
   "You have been away from England a long time, sir?" asked Mr. Underwood.
   "This is my second visit," Jherek told him.
   "Aha!" Mr. Underwood seemed satisfied by the explanation. "In the darkest depths of the jungle, eh? Bringing light to the savage mind."
   "I was in a forest…" said Jherek.
   "He only recently heard of his brother's sad fate," broke in Mrs. Underwood.
   Jherek could not understand why she kept interrupting them. He felt he was getting on quite well with Mr. Underwood; getting on rather better, in truth, than he had expected.
   "Have you offered Mr. Carnelian some refreshment, my dear?" Mr. Underwood's pince-nez glinted as he looked about the room. "We are, needless to say, teetotallers here, Mr. Carnelian. But if you would care for some tea…?"
   Mrs. Underwood pulled enthusiastically at a bell-rope. "What a good idea!" she cried.
   Maude Emily appeared almost immediately and was instructed to bring tea and biscuits for the three of them. She looked from Mr. Underwood to Jherek Carnelian and back again. The look was significant and cause the faintest expression of panic in Mrs. Underwood's otherwise resolutely set features.
   "Tea!" said Jherek as Maude Emily left. "I don't believe I've ever had it. Or did we —"
   This time, inadvertently, Mr. Underwood came to his wife's rescue. "Never had tea, what? Oh, then this is a treat you cannot miss! You must spend most of your time away from civilization, Mr. Carnelian."
   "From this one, yes."
   Mr. Underwood removed his pince-nez. From his pocket he took a large, white handkerchief. He polished the pince-nez. "I take your meaning, sir," he said gravely. "Who are we to accuse the poor savage of his lack of culture, when we live in such Godless times ourselves?"
   "Godless? I was under the impression that this was a Religious Age."
   "Mr. Carnelian, you are misinformed, I fear. Your faith is allowed to blossom unchecked, no doubt, as you sit in some far-off native hut, with only your Bible and Our Lord for company. But the distractions one has to contend with in this England of ours are enough to make one give up altogether and look to the consolations of the High Church. Why," his voice dropped, "I knew a man, a resident of Bromley, who came very close once to turning towards Rome ."
   "He could not find Bromley?" Jherek laughed, glad that he and Mr. Underwood were getting on so well. "I had a great deal of trouble myself. If I had not met a Mr. Wells at a place called, as I remember, the Cafe Royale, I should still be looking for it!"
   " The Cafe Royale! " hissed Mr. Underwood, in much the same tone as he had said "Rome." He replaced his pince-nez and stared hard at Jherek Carnelian.
   "I had become lost…" Jherek began to explain.
   "Who has not, before he enters the door of that gateway to the underworld?"
   "…and met someone who had lived in Bromley."
   "No longer, I trust?"
   "So I gathered."
   Mr. Underwood breathed a sigh of relief. "Mr. Carnelian," he said, "you would do well to remember the fate of your poor brother. Doubtless he was as innocent as you when he first came to London. I beg you to remember that not for nothing has it been called Satan's Own City!"
   "Who would this Mr. Satan be?" asked Jherek conversationally. "You see, I was re-creating the city and it would be useful to have the advice of one who…"
   "Maude Emily!" sang Mrs. Underwood, as if greeting the sight of land after many days in an open boat. "The tea!" She turned to them. "The tea is here!"
   "Ah, the tea," said Mr. Underwood, but he was frowning as he mulled over Jherek's latest words. Even Jherek had the idea that he had somehow said the wrong thing, in spite of being so careful — not that he felt there was very much point in Mrs. Underwood's deception. All he needed to do, really, was to explain the problem to Mr. Underwood (who plainly did not share his passion for Mrs. Underwood) and Mr. Underwood would accept that he, Jherek, was likely to be far happier with Mrs. Underwood. Mr. Underwood could remain here (with Maude Emily, perhaps) and Mrs. Underwood would leave with him, Jherek.
   As Maude Emily poured the tea and Mrs. Underwood stood near the fireplace fiddling with a small lace handkerchief and Mr. Underwood peered through his pince-nez as if to make sure that Maude Emily poured the correct amount of tea into each cup, Jherek said:
   "I expect you are happy here, aren't you, Maude Emily, with Mr. Underwood?"
   "Yes, sir," she said in a small voice.
   "And you are happy with Maude Emily, Mr. Underwood?"
   Mr. Underwood waved a hand and moved his lips, indicating that he was as happy with her as he felt he had to be.
   "Splendid," said Jherek.
   A silence followed. He was handed a tea-cup.
   "What do you think?" Mr. Underwood had become quite animated as he watched Jherek sip. "There are those who shun the use of tea, claiming that it is a stimulant we can well do without." He smiled bleakly. "But I'm afraid we should not be human if we did not have our little sins, eh? Is it good, Mr. Carnelian?"
   "Very nice," said Jherek. "Actually, I have had it before. But we called it something different. A longer name. What was it, Mrs. Underwood?"
   "How should I know, Mr. Carnelian." She spoke lightly, but she was glaring at him.
   "Lap something," said Jherek. "Sou something."
   "Lap-san-sou-chong! Ah, yes. A great favourite of yours, my dear, is it not? China tea."
   "There!" said Jherek beaming by way of confirmation.
   "You have met my wife before, Mr. Carnelian?"
   "As children," said Mrs. Underwood. "I explained it to you, Harold."
   "You surely were not given tea to drink as children?"
   "Of course not," she replied.
   "Children?" Jherek's mind had been on other things, but now he brightened. "Children? Do you plan to have any children, Mr. Underwood?"
   "Unfortunately." Mr. Underwood cleared his throat. "We have not so far been blessed…"
   "Something wrong?"
   "Ah, no…"
   "Perhaps you haven't got the hang of making them by the straightforward old-fashioned method? I must admit it took me a while to work it out. You know," Jherek turned to make sure that Mrs. Underwood was included in the conversation, "finding what goes in where and so forth!"
   "Nnng," said Mrs. Underwood.
   "Good heavens!" Mr. Underwood still had his tea-cup poised half-way to his lips. For the first time, since he had entered the room, his eyes seemed to live.
   Jherek's body shook with laughter. "It involved a lot of research. My mother, the Iron Orchid, explained what she knew and, in the long run, when we had pooled the information, was able to give me quite a lot of practical experience. She has always been interested in new ideas for love-making. She told me that while genuine sperm had been used in my conception, otherwise the older method had not been adhered to. Once she got the thing worked out, however (and it involved some minor biological transformations) she told me that she had rarely enjoyed love-making in the conventional ways more. Is anything the matter, Mr. Underwood? Mrs. Underwood?"
   "Sir," said Mr. Underwood, addressing Jherek with cool reluctance, "I believe you to be mad. In charity, I must assume that you and your brother are cursed with that same disease of the brain which sent him to the gallows."
   "My brother?" Jherek frowned. Then he winked at Mrs. Underwood. "Oh, yes, my brother…"
   Mrs. Underwood, breathing heavily, sat down suddenly upon the rug, while Maude Emily had her lips together, had gone very red in the face, and was making strange, strangled noises.
   "Why did you come here? Oh, why did you come here?" murmured Mrs. Underwood from the floor.
   "Because I love you, as you know," explained Jherek patiently. "You see, Mr. Underwood," he began confidentially, "I wish to take Mrs. Underwood away with me."
   "Indeed?" Mr. Underwood presented to Jherek a peculiarly glassy and crooked grin. "And what, might I ask, do you intend to offer my wife, Mr. Carnelian?"
   "Offer? Gifts? Yes, well," again he felt in his pockets but again could find nothing but the deceptor-gun. He drew it out. "This?"
   Mr. Underwood flung his hands into the air.

13. Strange Events in Bromley One Night in the Summer of 1896

   "Spare them," said Mr. Underwood. "Take me, if you must!"
   "But I don't want you, Mr. Underwood," Jherek said reasonably, gesturing with the gun. "Though it is kind of you to offer. It is Mrs . Underwood I want. She loves me, you see, and I love her."
   "Is this true, Amelia?"
   Dumbly, she shook her head.
   "You have been conducting a liaison of some sort with this man?"
   "That's the word I was trying to think of," said Jherek.
   "I don't believe you are that murderer's brother at all." Mr. Underwood remembered to keep his hands firmly above his head. "Somehow you have escaped the gallows — and you, Amelia, seem to have played a part in thwarting justice. I felt at the time…"
   "No, Harold. I have nothing to be ashamed of — or, at least, very little … If I tried to explain what had happened to me one night, when…"
   "One night, yes? When?"
   "I was abducted."
   "By this man?"
   "No, that came later. Oh, dear! I told you nothing, Harold, because I knew it would be impossible for you to believe. It would have put a burden upon you that I knew you should not have to bear."
   "The burden of truth, Amelia, is always easier to bear than the burden of deceit."
   "I was carried into our world's most distant future. How, I cannot explain. There I met Mr. Carnelian, who was kind to me. I did not expect ever to return here, but return I did — to the same moment in which I had left. I decided that I had had a particularly vivid dream. Then I learned of Mr. Carnelian's appearance in our time — he was being tried for murder."
   "So he is the same man!"
   "I felt it my duty to help him. I knew that he could not be guilty. I tried to prove that he was insane so that his life, at least, would be spared. My efforts, however, were fruitless. They were not helped by Mr. Carnelian's naive insistence upon a truth which none could be expected to believe. He was sentenced to death. The last I knew, he had perished through the usual auspices of the Law."
   "Preposterous," said Mr. Underwood. "I can see that I have been an absolute fool. If you are not as mad as he, then you are guilty of the most unholy deception ever practised by an erring wife upon her trusting husband." Mr. Underwood was trembling. He ran a hand across his head, disturbing his hair. He loosened his tie. "Well, luckily the Bible is very clear on such matters. You must go, of course. You must leave my house, Amelia, and thank Our Lord Jesus Christ for the New Testament and its counsels. If we lived in Old Testament times, your punishment would not be so lenient!"
   "Harold, please, you are distraught, I can see. If you will try to listen to Mr. Carnelian's story…"
   "Ha! Must I listen to his ravings any further, before he kills me?"
   "Kill you?" said Jherek mildly. "Is that what you want, Mr. Underwood? I'd willingly do anything to help…"
   "Oh!"
   Jherek saw Maude Emily leaving the room. Perhaps she had become so bored with the conversation. He was certainly having quite a lot of difficulty understanding Mr. Underwood, whose voice was shaking so much, and pitched so high at times, that the words were distorted.
   "I will do nothing to stand in your way," Mr. Underwood told him. "Take her and leave, if that is what you want. She has told you she loves you?"
   "Oh, yes. In a letter."
   "A letter! Amelia?"
   "I wrote a letter, but…"
   "So you are foolish, as well as treacherous. To think that, under my own roof, I supported such a creature. I had thought you upright. I had thought you a true Christian. Why, Amelia, I admired you. Admired you, it seems, for what was merely your disguise, a cloak of hypocrisy."
   "Oh, Harold, how can you believe such things? If you knew the lengths to which I went to defend my —"
   "Honour? Really, my dear, you must consider me a pretty poor sort of brain, if you think you can continue any further with your charade!"
   "Well," said Jherek cheerfully, wishing that Mr. Underwood would make his meaning clearer, but glad that the main problem had been cleared up, "shall we be off, Mrs. Underwood?"
   "I cannot, Mr. Carnelian. My husband is not himself. The shock of your appearance and of your — your language. I know that you do not mean badly, but the disruption you are causing is much worse than I feared. Mr. Carnelian — please put the gun back in your pocket!"
   He slipped it into its old place. "I was going to offer it in exchange. As I understood…"
   "You understand nothing at all, Mr. Carnelian. It would be best if you left…"
   "Leave with him, Amelia. I insist upon it." Mr. Underwood lowered his hands, drew out his pocket handkerchief and, with a precise, thoughtful air, glancing often at the white cloth, mopped his brow. "It is what you both want, is it not? Your freedom. Oh, I gladly give it to you. You pollute the sanctity of my home!"
   "Harold, I can scarcely believe the vehemence — you have always preached charity. You are normally so calm !"
   "Should I be calm, now?"
   "I suppose not, but…"
   "All my life I have lived by certain principles — principles I understood you to share. Must I join you in throwing them aside? Your father, the Reverend Mr. Vernon, once warned me that you were overly inclined to high spirits. When we married, I found no sign of that side of your character and assumed that the sober business of being a good wife had driven it from you. Instead, it was buried. And not very deeply, either!"
   "I fear, Harold, that it is you who are mad!"
   He turned his back on them. "Go!"
   "You will regret this, Harold. You know you will."
   "Regret my wife conducting a liaison under my own roof with a convicted murderer? Yes!" He laughed without humour. "I suppose I shall!"
   Jherek took Mrs. Underwood's arm. "Shall we be off?"
   Her imploring eyes were still upon her husband, but she allowed Jherek to lead her to the door.
   And then they were in the peace of Collins Avenue. Jherek realized that Mrs. Underwood was disturbed by the parting.
   "I think Mr. Underwood accepted the situation very well, don't you? There you are, you see, all your fears, Mrs. Underwood, were groundless. The truth is always worth telling. Mr. Underwood said as much. Perhaps he did not behave as gracefully as one might have hoped, but still…"