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and then having his powers taken away from him because of a practical joke
by my previous mentor. My mentor had been killed before he could lift the
joke. Now Aahz just had to wait for the joke to wear off and his powers to
come back, which he said would take more time than I wanted to think about.
Aahz unfolded the magik map and laid it on the top of a rock so we
could all study it.
The town of Evade was clearly marked as our starting point, with a road
leading from it to a town called Baker. In Baker two roads split off to two
other towns, then two roads left each of those towns. Eventually a few of
the roads led to Dodge, where it was marked that the treasure was.
Where Glenda was heading.
But was the golden-milk-giving cow there? I was betting it wasn't. I
was betting the map would change when we reached Baker. And then keep on
changing with every city after that until we finally found the right city.
Glenda was going to be angry, and it served her right. I didn't want to
see what Aahz would do to her the next time he saw her. Pervects are not to
be messed with, and she had left him to die on a frozen planet. What he
would do to her wasn't going to be pretty.
"So we're back needing horses," Aahz said, tracing along the distances
between the towns. Then he looked at me. "Unless you think your flying spell
is good enough here to work for us."
Flying wasn't the strongest of my magik, but it was one of the things
Aahz had trained me to do first. It had saved us from a hanging and a few
other tight spots in our last few adventures. But I wasn't sure if I could
lift all three of us and carry us any distance.
"I can try," I said, wishing I hadn't said those words the moment I
heard them come out of my mouth.
"Concentrate," Aahz said, going into teacher mode. "Search for your
lines of power and use them, pull them in, let them flow through you."
"You can do it, Skeeve," Tanda said.
I wasn't so sure. Each place had power lines, invisible things that all
magicians got their energy from. Some places, like the area of the cabin in
Vortex #6 were jam-packed with power. Back at the cabin I could have flown
fifty people, but here there wasn't much magik power. In fact, it seemed
almost empty.
I stretched out my mind, holding onto the power that I could feel, and
then concentrating on bringing it in and using it to lift all three of us. A
moment later we all were off the ground and into the hot air.
"Not too high," Aahz warned. "Keep us just three or four paces off the
ground."
I was glad to do that, because it was easier. And much safer to boot. I
lowered all three of us back to a position just above the top of the
boulders and held us there for a few moments to make sure I could do it,
then I lowered us back to where we had started.
When I let us go I could feel the energy drain away. I was sweating and
short of breath and needed a drink of water, but at least I had done it.
"Nice job," Tanda said, handing me a canister of water. "How long do
you think you could keep that up?" Aahz asked, watching me with a look that
I knew meant he could see through any extra bragging I might try.
"Honestly, I don't know," I said after I took a long drink of the
wonderfully cold liquid. "With rests, and touching each of you as I do it,
maybe fifteen minutes at a time. The lines of power are weak in this area.
They may be stronger in other areas and then I could last longer."
Aahz nodded, seemingly satisfied with my answer. He turned to Tanda.
"Can you do a cushion spell, in case he drops us?"
"Not a problem," Tanda said.
"What do we do if someone sees us?" I asked. "I'm not sure that I can
do a bird disguise spell as well as keeping us flying."
"We're not going to worry about that," Aahz said. Clearly he didn't
think I could either.
"We'll walk when we see someone," Tanda said, staring at the town below
us in the valley. "Just keep us close to the ground and over a road."
I nodded. "Whenever you're ready."
"Good," Aahz said. "Take us down to Evade, we'll walk through town and
out the other side."
I nodded, glancing at how low the sun was getting in the sky. We'd have
to deal with where we were going to stay later.
I doubted that Aahz would want to stay in Evade. With luck we'd reach
Baker, and they'd have a hotel there as well.
I moved over and stood between Aahz and Tanda, putting a hand on each
of their arms. Then I concentrated on taking in what power I could find and
lifting us about a pace off the ground.
"Hold on to your hats," I said as we lifted into the air.
I floated us down to the road and then picked up speed, skimming us
toward Evade a lot faster than even a running horse could take us. To an
outsider we must have looked very strange. Three strangers seeming to be
just standing, but moving along the road at a very fast clip.
After only two minutes I was starting to feel the wear, but before I
had to stop Aahz said, "I think we're close enough now."
What had cost me an hour of walking earlier had only taken two or three
minutes of flying. Why hadn't I thought of that this morning?
I slowed and put us down at a normal walking pace. The moment I let go
of the power I stumbled, but Tanda kept me from falling on my face. It was
as if every bit of energy had been drained from my muscles, leaving them
weak and noodle-like. "You'll be fine in a moment," Aahz said, keeping us
walking at a good pace toward the now close edge of town.
He was right. A few more steps and I was sweating like a dam had
broken, but I was able to walk.
Tanda gave me some more water, and that brought even more of my energy
back. I was starting to believe that I could do this. And flying, even
though it tired me out, was a lot better than riding horses, let alone doing
the job it would take to pay for one.
We got into town as people were starting to close up their businesses
and shutter the windows.
"You weren't kidding, were you?" Tanda said as we walked down the now
mostly deserted sidewalk.
"They're afraid of something that comes out at night," I said. "I have
no idea what it might be."
As we passed in front of Audry's, my friend the bartender waved from
inside the window. I tipped my hat back at him. These people might be
strange vegetarians who were afraid of the dark, but they sure were nice. We
passed the hotel without Aahz even hesitating. And I didn't say anything
either. The last thing I wanted to let my mentor know was that the fear the
locals felt had gotten to me as well during my one-night stay here. On the
other side of town we stepped off the sidewalk and just kept walking, past a
few homes with the shutters already drawn and bolted. Ten minutes later,
with the sun still not touching the tops of the hills to the west, Aahz gave
the all-clear.
Again I touched each of them, pulled in the power, and lifted us,
sending us down the road as fast as I dared take us, considering I had to
make sharp corners and steep hills.
This time I lasted ten minutes before I had to stop. Water and a quick
rest got me going again, just as the sun started to set. From what I could
tell, we were a long way yet from Baker. It was getting noticeably cooler,
which was also helping me.
"Can you keep going?" Tanda asked as I stopped for a second time and
sat down on a rock beside the road.
"We're making good speed," Aahz said, clearly satisfied with our
progress.
"We are," Tanda said, "but this is hard on Skeeve."
"I can keep going," I said, taking one more drink and then standing. "I
just need to rest every ten minutes or so."
"Understandable," Aahz said. "For someone of your level of skill."
"For someone of any level," Tanda said, stepping to my defense.
"There's not much power in this area. He's having to pull from a ways off."
"That true?" Aahz asked me.
"It is," I said. "But I said I can keep going and I can."
"Then we go when you're ready," Aahz said. "We don't have much light
left and we won't be able to make the speed we are making now at night."
It was clear we were going to spend a night outside on Kowtow and face
what an entire population was afraid to face.
Aahz didn't seem to be worried.
Tanda had said nothing.
I was just the apprentice. What place was it for me to say anything?
In the west the sun was slowly setting. In the east an almost full moon
was starting to come up over the horizon. In a few days the full moon would
signal another fear in the people who lived here: the round-up.
I pushed the thoughts and fears from my mind, focused on bringing in as
much power as I could, then lifted us knee-high off the ground and headed
down the road as fast as I could take us.
The sun had almost set completely by the time I stopped for my next
break. There was still no sign of the town of Baker.
Okay, I'm the first to admit when I'm being stupid, if it's pointed out
to me. Luckily I had had enough common sense to not tell Aahz and Tanda how
worried I was about the darkness, so they didn't get the chance to point any
of my stupidity when we ran into no problems at all after it turned dark.
The first part of the trip was fairly easy. It took me three more rest
stops, and, it was well after the sun had set by the time we got to Baker.
The town was buttoned up tighter than anything I had ever seen. In the
moonlight the buildings looked haunted and strange, more like monster-boxes
than structures. Very little light got past any of the shutters, but the
almost-full moon was giving us enough light to see by to stay on the road.
Baker looked to be about twice the size of Evade, and was spread out
over more than just a Main Street. It was tucked into a small valley, with
flat farmland going off in both directions from it.
We walked into town, following the road and staying off the wooden
sidewalks so that we wouldn't make any noise. The town was just flat empty.
Not even a horse had been left outside. Nothing was moving, and as far as we
could tell, nothing lived here, even though we knew better.
"This is very strange," Tanda said as we got near the center of town.
"How boring would it be to go to bed when the sun set every night? I'd go
stark-raving crazy in a matter of days."
Tanda was the kind of person that always had to be doing something:
going on adventures, shopping, or partying. I had no doubt that it wouldn't
take her days to go crazy here.
"I just wonder what they are afraid of," Aahz said. He pointed to one
building. "Those shutters look as if they could take a pretty good pounding
and still hold."
"It was the same way in Evade," I said. "But I was awake all night and
never heard a sound from outside."
"More than likely this is just an old custom," Tanda said, "and we're
still so far out in the sticks, away from any larger cities, that the custom
remains."
"Are there larger cities in this dimension?" I asked.
"Who knows?" Aahz said. "Just stay alert and watch for anything
unusual."
He didn't have to tell me to do that, since I was already on full
alert. And even though flying, combined with no sleep the night before, had
me exhausted, I doubted I could sleep now even if I wanted to try.
Aahz found a sliver of light coming from the shutters of one store and
stopped. He unfolded the map and we gathered around, trying to be as quiet
as we could while we looked for our next destination.
"You were right, Skeeve," Aahz whispered, patting me on the back.
The map had changed.
Baker, the city we were standing in, was now the focal point of the
map, and two roads led toward two other towns from Baker. The treasure was
now marked in a town called Silver City. Dodge City wasn't even on the map.
Glenda was going to be mad. I wished I could be there when she discovered
how stupid she had been.
"So which way do we go?" Tanda asked.
The two towns next in line from Baker were named Bank and Keep. Both
looked to be about the same distance from here, but Bank was to the right in
the north and Keep was to the left in the south.
"Bank," I said, before I even realized the word was out of my mouth.
"Why?" Aahz asked, staring at me, his intense eyes scary in the
semi-dark.
"I don't know," I said. "It just seems right, and starts with the same
letter as Baker."
Tanda laughed, but had the decency to not say anything.
Aahz just shook his head, folded up the map and put it away.
"Bank it is," he said, moving out into the middle of the street and
walking on toward the west end of town.
"I could be wrong," I said, walking between him and Tanda.
"More than likely," Aahz said.
"So why go with my suggestion?"
"Because I have none better to offer."
"Neither do I," Tanda said. "Besides, if you're wrong, we can blame
you."
"Terrific!" I said. "As if I don't get in enough trouble as it is."
Both Aahz and Tanda chuckled, but said nothing the rest of the way to
the edge of town.
It was easy to find the road to Bank. At a fork in the road a hundred
paces outside of the main part of town there was a sign, clear and readable
even in the moonlight, pointing to the right.
Aahz glanced around, then turned to me. "Ready?"
"Sure," I said.
"Keep it slower than before," Aahz said. "We don't want to run into
anything out here."
I concentrated on the power coming into my body, easier here than back
near Evade. When I had enough I lifted us slightly off the ground and headed
down the road. Outside of town the road was straight, running between what
looked like pastures, and even in the moonlight I could get us up to a
pretty decent speed.
In the pastures along both sides of the road animals were grazing. When
I finally had to stop to rest, a number of the grazing animals looked up at
us, big eyes glowing in the moonlight. They almost looked surprised to see
us.
"Cows," Tanda said, pointing at the large creatures staring at us from
the field.
They looked fat and heavy, with white and dark areas over their bodies.
In the half-darkness, they seemed almost sinister with their big eyes and
long ears.
"So how come they aren't inside like everything else?" I asked as Tanda
gave me more water and a little bit of a snack to eat.
"You're asking me?" she said. "Maybe they're not bothered by whatever
worries the people around here."
That made sense, in an odd sort of way.
"Maybe they are what worries the residents," I said, staring into the
deep pits of eyes of the closest cow.
Both Aahz and Tanda laughed as if that was the funniest thing I had
ever said.
I didn't see what was so funny. Cows looked nasty to me, and I couldn't
imagine trying to get milk, golden or not, from any of the ones I could see.
By the time I was rested enough to get us farther down the road, a
bunch of the nearby cows had sauntered over and were gathering near the road
watching what we were doing. It was creepy, and I was glad to get on the
way.
From that point onward there were cattle along the road watching us, as
if something had told them we were coming. When I asked Aahz what made them
do that, he said he didn't know. He'd never seen cattle act that way.
Tanda said she hadn't either.
That answer didn't comfort me at all.
I kept us going longer and longer, not wanting to rest and have all the
cows gather close to us. By the time the sun came up I had flown us to the
edge of Bank City. I was exhausted and was going to have to get a few hours
sleep before we went on.
At first light, the moment the sun peeked over the edge of the nearby
mountains, the cows stopped watching us and went back to grazing.
For some reason that bothered me a lot more than them staring at us.
"It's an acquired taste."
H. LECHTER
I was so tired that even the short walk into the center of the town of
Bank darned near killed me. All I wanted to do was fall down and sleep, at
least for a few hours. Aahz promised me that was going to be possible very
soon, so I limped along with them.
The merchants were opening up the stores and the shutters had all
disappeared from the windows. Horses pulling wagons were lined up outside a
few stores, and, just like in Evade, a guy wearing a hat and carrying a
shovel was going around cleaning up after the horses. Clearly that was a
standard job in every town. I couldn't imagine a kid wanting to be the
horse-poop cleaner when he grew up. But maybe in this culture, that was the
top job.
Bank looked a lot like Evade, just bigger. The buildings were all the
same size, and there were wooden sidewalks.
We found a small establishment like the one Glenda had left me in, and
sat down at a table near the front window. We were the only ones in the
place. It felt great to be off my feet and not moving. I might be able to
sleep right there in the chair if they let me.
As I looked around I realized this place was almost identical to
Audry's in Evade, with the bar down the left side and wooden tables and
chairs.
"What can I get for ya, folks?" A man asked as he came out from the
back room.
He was just like the guy in Evade, right down to the white apron and
the dirty towel.
"Could we trouble you for just one glass of your best juice?" I asked.
"Not a problem at all," he said, smiling. "You want some breakfast, I
just got a fresh load in this very morning. Good and crisp."
"Sounds great," I said, "maybe later. But I think first we just want to
sit a spell."
The guy came back with the carrot juice drink and slid it onto the
table with a smile before he headed back into the kitchen area.
"You've picked up the lingo pretty well," Tanda said. "A night alone in
a place do that for you?"
"I suppose," I said, taking a sip of the juice. "Isn't it creepy how
all these people seem the same from town to town?"
"I was noticing that as well," Tanda said. "The guy shoveling dung
looks just like every other guy I've seen shoveling dung."
Aahz laughed and I just stared at her, too tired to even try to figure
out what she had just said.
"I wonder why there's no milk," Aahz said, staring at the carrot juice
with a look of disgust on his face.
"I don't think you want to ask, even if they had any," I said. "I was
in a kitchen of one of these places, and there was nothing there but
veggies, and not a clean surface in the room."
"Ughh," Tanda said. "More than likely you could get us arrested for
even thinking of drinking milk in a dimension full of cows."
"You two have far too active an imagination," Aahz said as he pulled
out the map and opened it.
Again it had changed.
I kept sipping my carrot juice as I studied the parchment. Bank, the
town we were in, was the main town on the map now. And the treasure was now
located in a city called Placer. Three roads left Bank and headed off in
three directions, all, in one fashion or another, getting to Placer after a
few more towns.
"Now which way?" I asked, staring at our options.
They were towns called Chip, Pie, and Biscuit. Weird names. Everything
about this dimension was starting to seem weird to me.
Tanda pointed to one of the towns. "Following Skeeve's plan of going to
towns that start with the letter B, we head for Biscuit."
"Sounds good to me," I said.
Aahz just shook his head in amazement.
"As good as any, I suppose."
He studied the map for a moment more and then folded it up and put it
away.
Biscuit was on the road that stayed north going out the west side of
Bank. I doubted it would be hard to find. I took another sip while Tanda
wrinkled her nose at my drink and me.
"It's an acquired taste," I said, realizing what I was doing. I had
finished almost half the glass.
I offered the rest to her, but she shook her head.
"No, thanks. Not in a million years."
I shrugged and took another drink. The stuff wasn't bad at all, once
you got past the initial taste of smashed and juiced carrots.
"So how you feeling?" Aahz asked.
"He's going to have to rest," Tanda said, not letting me answer.
"I know that," Aahz said. "I was just wondering how we were going to do
that. We don't dare go back to the cabin because Glenda might be there. I
don't want to deal with her just yet. So we have to find some private spot."
"Actually," I said, stopping the fight before it got started, "I'm
feeling pretty good. A little juice here and some time sitting down and I
think I can go again for a while."
Tanda looked into the orange liquid.
"What did they put in there?"
"You know," I said, looking at the juice, "I don't know, but it really
is helping."
We sat for another ten minutes while I finished off the carrot juice,
then I went over and asked how I could pay the man for the drink.
"Come back for a dinner," he said. "That's payment enough."
I thanked him for his hospitality. I had no idea how this bartering
system in this dimension worked, but it sure made everyone friendly.
We headed toward the west end of town, walking down the sidewalk and
tipping our hats at the smiling people we met. I felt great again. Drinking
that juice was like getting a good night's sleep. I had no idea what was in
one besides carrots, but I could easily get hooked on them.
It wasn't going to be a problem taking the wrong road because there was
a sign saying Biscuit and a big arrow at the fork in the roads. Around us
were buildings and homes and several hundred of head of cattle grazing, so
we started off walking, going slow and steady as the sun got hotter.
Finally, after maybe a mile, we were far enough out in the country to
not chance being seen flying.
"You sure you're all right?" Aahz asked.
"Never felt better," I said.
"You know, at the next town, I'm trying some of that juice," Tanda
said.
As I reached out with my mind searching for power, it became clear that
we were in an area much more powerful than where we had started. It was easy
for me to get enough to lift the three of us knee-high off the ground and
whisk us along.
We had to stop flying and walk a half dozen times over the next few
hours when we saw people coming, or a house was too close to the road. And
we must have passed at least a million cows along the way. Not one had
actually looked at us. And not once did I have to actually sit down and
rest.
Amazing juice.
By the time we reached Biscuit, it was mid-afternoon and I was starting
to get tired again. We found a place to sit in a bar that looked just like
Audry's and the one in Bank. Now all of us were growing bothered by the
similar nature of the places. I wanted to run from the bar when a man who
looked a lot like the previous two, down to wearing a white apron and
carrying a dirty rag, came out of the kitchen and asked us what we wanted.
"Just two glasses of your finest," I said.
"Sure you all don't want an early dinner?" he asked. "I just got a
fresh load from the fields. Really crisp. We all need our energy, you know,
with the round-up coming."
I glanced at Aahz, then Tanda, then answered the guy's question.
"After we sit awhile we just might."
He smiled real big, like I had said the right thing, then went and
brought us our juice. He had disappeared into the back room before any of us
said anything.
"So someone want to explain to me what's going on?" Tanda asked.
"I've never seen anything like this," Aahz said. "I thought you two
were just imagining things at the last stop. But these three places are
almost identical."
"Are we going in circles or something?" I asked. "Is it possible that
all these towns are the same one?"
"No, there're different sizes and shapes and in different countryside,"
Tanda said.
"No doubt we're in different towns," Aahz said, "all built, it seems,
off the same pattern, with the same kind of people living in them."
"Okay," Tanda said, "now I can safely say I've seen it all."
"Not yet," I said. 'We've still got the round-up, whatever that is. And
a golden cow."
Tanda nodded and looked at Aahz with a serious face.
"I'm starting to think this treasure isn't worth what we're risking."
Aahz looked at her as if she had gone crazy.
"Are you kidding? We've come this far. Only a few more towns to go."
She nodded, but I could tell as I sipped my juice that this entire
dimension was bothering Tanda a great deal. And in the time I had known
Tanda, I had never seen anything bother her.
Aahz glanced to make sure the guy was still in the kitchen, then opened
up the map and spread it on the table. As every other time, it had changed
again.
This time, we had four roads to pick from, and all the towns started
with the letter "B". Brae was the southern most, then there was Brawn, then
Bent, and finally, to the north, Bethel. The golden treasure was marked as
being in a place called Donner.
"Well, so much for that system," I said.
"And it was working, too," Aahz said.
"You know, maybe I could drain off the magik from the map again." I had
just finished my entire glass of carrot juice and was feeling really, really
alive and well.
Aahz glanced at the kitchen door again, then asked me, "You feel up to
it?"
"I feel like I'm getting stronger the farther we come," I said.
"Let him try," Tanda said. "Might save us a lot of back-tracking."
Aahz looked at me, then nodded. "Give it a shot."
I took a deep breath and let my mind search out the power in the map.
For an instant I didn't think anything was going to happen. Then I felt it.
The power rushed through me from the map as I hastily directed it into the
ground. My head spun for a second, and it was done. The power was gone and
the map was normal...for now. I took a deep breath, again feeling the
strain. I needed more carrot juice.
"It worked," Aahz said. "Nice job, Skeeve."
It wasn't often that I got a compliment from my mentor, so I savored
the moment. Tanda patted me on the arm and gave me a kiss on the cheek for a
reward. Nothing like doing a job and doing it well.
I took her glass of carrot juice and sipped from it while we studied
the map.
Only one road led from Biscuit where we were, through Bethel and then
to Donner. Donner actually was the place with the golden cow. We had been
closer than we thought.
But from the look of the map, it was a long way to Bethel, and even
farther to Donner. Just getting to the first place was going to take to the
middle of the night. I just hoped the cows didn't watch us.
"You rested enough to get going?" Aahz asked me.
I downed half of the glass of carrot juice and nodded.
"Put this in one of our water containers, would you?"
Tanda nodded as I stood and moved to the door into the back room. I
knocked and the guy came out.
"What can we do for you in exchange for the wonderful drinks you
served?"
He smiled, as if I had again said some magik words.
"Just come back for food sometime soon."
"I promise we will," I said. I tipped my hat at him.
"Thanks."
He stood there smiling, watching us leave like we were his children
headed off to school.
We went through Bethel in the middle of the night. The town looked like
all the others, and, even though it was locked up tight and shuttered, I
recognized the Audry's-place-look-alike as we passed it.
For the past few hours, since a stop we made right after dark, the cows
had again watched us. We were the cow entertainment for the night as we sped
past pasture after pasture. Thousands and thousands of cows lined the road,
ready for us to come flashing past. I had no idea why they did it, or how
they knew we were coming, but there wasn't a stretch of road that didn't
have cows lined up beside it all night long. And even though there were no
fences, none of them came into the road to stop us.
After a while I stopped looking at them as well. Their big eyes,
shining in the moonlight, just unnerved me.
My flying was getting better and better as the trip went on, and since
the moon was almost full the road was easy to see. I could manage almost an
hour of nonstop flying before I had to rest, and, because of the mostly flat
land, we were making great time.
Even though I wanted to drink it earlier because I was feeling tired, I
forced myself to wait until we were walking through Bethel to finish the
last of the carrot juice I had had Tanda save.
Just that half a glass gave me enough energy to keep on going, as if I
had slept a full night. It seemed to allow me to use every bit of the power
around me to keep us above the road and speeding toward the treasure.
At sunrise the cows stopped watching again, going back to gra2ing as if
we didn't matter at all. For a while I felt almost insulted, before I
realized what I was thinking. How could a cow not wanting to watch me fly
past ever insult me? Made no sense.
About halfway through the morning, still a long distance from Donner,
we came on a small town. It couldn't have been half the size of Evade, and
not more than a dot on the map. The juice I had drunk in the middle of the
night had long ago worn off and I was so tired that I was just about falling
down.
As I had hoped when I saw the little town, right in the middle was a
place that looked a lot like Audry's. It was empty and we went in, taking
what I was starting to think of as our normal table. I slouched in a chair
in front of the window, glad to still be alive.
There was only one thing bad about the carrot juice. When you came down
off of it, you came down hard. Right now, if we were going to get to Donner
by the middle of the night, I needed another fix or two of the golden
liquor.
This place didn't just look like Audry's; it could have been Audry's.
And when the guy with the white apron and dirty rag came out of the back
room, I wasn't surprised in the slightest.
"What can I get for you, strangers?"
"If you wouldn't mind," I said before either Tanda or Aahz could speak,
"could I trouble you for three glasses of your best?"
The guy beamed, wiped his hands with the towel, and said the words I
was expecting.
"Not a problem. Sure I couldn't interest you folks in some lunch as
well? Just got a fresh wagon-load in. Everything's really crisp. You all
need your strength, what with the round-up coming."
"Thanks, partner," I said. "That sounds really good, but I think we'll
just start with the juice right now, if you don't mind."
"Not at all," he said.
A few moments later he came back with three glasses of the carrot
juice, smiled at us as he put them down, then headed off into the kitchen.
"Okay, that does it," Tanda said, staring at where the guy had gone.
"I'm officially completely creeped out."
"What?" Aahz asked. "All the staring cows last night didn't do it for
you?"
"Okay, double creeped out," Tanda said.
I downed about a half a glass of carrot juice and sat back, letting the
wonderful flavor warm me. How I had ever lived without the stuff was beyond
me.
"I think you might want to go easy on that juice," Aahz said. He was
looking as tired as I had felt a few minutes ago.
"I think you might want to try some," I said, "if you're expecting to
get to the treasure tonight."
He shook his head.
"I think one of us hooked on carrot juice is enough."
"Your loss," I said.
He just frowned and pulled out the map.
This time the map hadn't changed. My magik had worked. We were still
headed for Donner, which looked to be a good distance from here. I was going
to need all the energy I could get. I downed another quarter of the glass.
By the time we left the place, with me running through the same routine
with the guy in the apron, promising we might be back for dinner, I had
downed a glass and a half of the juice, and had the rest in the water
containers. I was good to go through the night. As far as I was concerned,
Tanda and Aahz could sleep while I flew. They weren't doing anything, so why
not?
Later that afternoon I think they both did actually fall asleep while
flashing along knee-high off the road. It was lucky for all of us I had my
carrot juice.
As it happened, we were approaching another tiny little town along the
road to Donner as the sun set. On the map this place wasn't even listed. It
had maybe twenty buildings, all of them boarded up and shuttered. Still,
Aahz figured there was no point in taking any chances, so we walked into the
tiny town.
We were just about through the town when, at once, every door in the
town slammed open. It was a dark and quiet night, with the sun down and the
moon not yet up. That much sudden noise and movement darned near scared me
right out of my skin.
"What's happening?" Tanda asked.
I didn't have a clue. From what I could tell, every person in the town,
all dressed in different clothing, some in nightshirts, walked into the
street like zombies, turned, and in a line headed out of town to the west.
We quickly stepped up onto the sidewalk to get out of the way as the
chain of people moved past down the center of the road. There was no life in
any of their eyes or fighting against what was happening to them.
"Be ready to take us back to Vortex #6," Aahz whispered to Tanda.
"Oh, I've been ready for days," she said.
The last person moved past us, leaving the town empty and every door
standing wide open. I had no idea what we should do. I took the canister out
of my pouch and downed the last of the second glass of carrot juice, just to
be ready for whatever was coming.
Aahz motioned that we should follow them, so, moving slowly about
thirty steps behind the last person, we followed the line of people out into
the countryside, along the very same road we had planned on traveling.
The farther out we got, the more I expected to see the cows waiting for
us, watching the zombie townspeople now. But there were no cows to be seen.
But there were a lot of naked people, yawning and stretching scattered
around the fields, as if they were just waking up from a long nap.
The townspeople kept doing the zombie march as the naked people in the
fields moved toward them. The first naked guy to reach the line near us
grabbed an old man in a nightshirt, tipped back the old guy's head, and bit
into his neck.
"Vampires," Tanda whispered.
Behind us the full moon was easing up over the edge of the hill,
shining light on the feast as more and more vampires picked a meal and bit
in. So this was what the round-up was all about? I couldn't believe what I
was seeing.
The cows were vampires, and their feeding stock was the people. No
wonder all the people in all the towns all ate vegetables and were afraid of
the night. The people who lived in the towns were nothing more than cattle,
being fattened for slaughter every month.
It was the cows that were the masters.
"You are not in the round-up line," a deep and pleasant voice said from
behind us.
All three of us spun around as one to face two naked people. One was a
man, one a woman. Their bodies were perfectly formed, their muscles toned,
their eyes large and brown, like the cow's eyes along the road every night.
The woman was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen without
clothes on. No, make that the most beautiful. And with one glance into her
eyes, I wanted to give myself to her. I didn't care if she bit me or not.
The next instant the dust storm on Vortex #6 slammed into me, snapping
me out of my desire to make a fool of myself with a beautiful woman for the
second time in a week.
"I can quit anytime."
S. HOLMES
The hundred slogging steps through the dust storm to the cabin seemed
to get longer and longer every time I had to do it. I had no idea why we
just couldn't D-Hop right into the cabin and skip all this dust and wind. I
was going to ask Tanda that, as soon as things settled down.
As we got near the cabin, Tanda held up her hand for us to stop. I
could barely see the dark shape of the building in the storm. There was no
light in the window this time.
She did something with both arms I assumed was some sort of scanning
magik that assassins knew, then motioned that it was clear and we should
move forward. Therefore, Glenda wasn't here waiting for us.
I had the sudden image of one of the cow-vampires bending her over and
sucking on her neck in the middle of some road somewhere. Considering what
she had done to me, it was one of the nicer thoughts I had had about her in
days.
We got inside and the door closed against the storm.
"Are we shielded?" Aahz asked Tanda.
"Up and solid," she said. "Skeeve was right; there is powerful energy
here. I can hold the shield for as long as we need it."
"So Glenda can't pop in and surprise us?" I asked, moving to the stove
to get it started before I took off my coat.
"Not a chance," Tanda said. "She hops back here, she's going to get
awful dirty standing out there in the dust."
Aahz laughed. "Couldn't happen to a nicer demon."
"Want something to eat?" Tanda asked, working around in the cabinets as
I sat at the table.
"Just more carrot juice," I said.
I could feel my body starting to get really tired, as if someone had
pulled the energy plug and what I had left was draining onto the floor.
I dug into my pouch for the canister that I had been carrying. It was
gone. I checked again and it was still not there. I couldn't remember doing
anything with it, but I might have dropped it in the excitement of watching
cows become vampires and bite on people.
"You have the other canister of juice?" I asked Aahz. "Afraid not,
apprentice," he said. "Left it back on Kowtow when we hopped out of there."
My first reaction was not to believe him. Then it became clear that he
had left the rest of my carrot juice, and my reaction was anger.
"How could you do that?" I shouted. "Easy," he said.
He showed me by reaching into his pouch, taking out an invisible
canister, and dropping it to the floor. "But what am I going to do without
it?" Again I shouted. I needed that carrot juice; right down to the very
bottom of my soul I needed it.
"You're going to sleep for a long time," Tanda said, smiling at me.
Just her mention of sleep made me sleepy. I couldn't believe they had
done this to me.
"Taking a guy's carrot juice isn't nice."
"I know," Tanda said. "But we're doing it for your own good. You
haven't slept in at least three days. You need to stop moving and just lie
down."
The tiredness was washing up over me like a wave on the beach. It was
everything I could do to even think about saying I didn't need sleep.
How dare she tell me what I needed? How dare Aahz leave my juice
behind? Hadn't I trusted him with that juice?
"I don't need to rest," I said, my voice sounding funny to my ears.
"How about you just lie down for a few minutes and then we'll talk
about it," Tanda said, helping me to me feet and moving me over to the
soft-looking bed against one wall.
"Well, maybe just a minute," I said.
What could a minute hurt? I'd get back some of my energy, and then
convince Tanda to hop me back to get my juice.
"Only one minute," I said.
Or at least I think I said that. I might not have, because from the
moment my head touched the pillow, I don't remember another thing.
I woke up with a blinding headache and a taste in my mouth that was a
cross between horse droppings and stale carrots. I rolled over and the pain
hit me even harder, smashing into my head like someone was taking a hammer
and pounding me right between the eyes.
"Ohhh," I said, putting both hands to my head trying to stop the agony.
"The sleeping apprentice awakes," Aahz, said, his voice far too loud
for the size of the space between my ears.
"And in pain, it seems," Tanda shouted.
"Please whisper," I said, but my throat was so dry the words didn't
really come out.
I wanted to die. Why hadn't they just killed me as I slept? Or maybe
they had tried, which was why I hurt so much.
I also wanted to be sick, but that wasn't possible since there wasn't
anything left in my stomach. But my stomach still felt like it wanted to
twist inside out and come up through my throat. And the world spinning
didn't help that feeling at all.
And, most of all, I really wanted to forget all the nightmares I'd had
about cows turning into vampires, and the people of a dimension being
nothing more than food stock. What an awful nightmare. That was the last
time I had carrot juice if it caused those kind of visions.
Tanda came over and knelt beside me. I could feel her hand on my
forehead, then a soft energy flowing through me, washing the pain and nausea
with it. Whatever she did, it was nice.
After a moment she moved away and I opened my eyes. My head didn't hurt
as much, and the world that felt as if it was smashing down on me from all
sides had retreated.
I also realized that what I had thought were carrot-juice-induced
nightmares had actually happened. "That help?" Tanda asked.
I nodded, wishing I hadn't almost at once. She had taken away the pain,
but the rest of the problems-upset stomach and spinning world-were still
with me.
She brought me a glass of water, helping me sit up to drink it.
"Well, hangovers are sure fun, aren't they, apprentice?" Aahz asked.
"No," I managed to croak out after I took a small drink, "they are
not."
"Good thing to remember next time you go bingeing."
The thought of even seeing another carrot made my stomach twist.
"Was there alcohol in the carrot juice?"
"No, but it had other stuff in it," Aahz said, "Stuff I'm guessing make
the people of those towns good eating for the vampires."
My stomach twisted.
"And maybe help keep them under control," Tanda said, looking at me.
"Think you can come to the table and try to eat a little something?"
"I can try," I said, "but no promises."
"Good enough. You need to eat."
"How long was I sleeping?" I asked as I stood and shuffled my way to
the table.
I dropped into a chair and then tried to remain still while the world
spun for a moment.
"About twelve hours," Aahz said. "We were just getting ready to head
back to Kowtow when you started to wake up."
"Without me?" I asked, staring into the eyes of my mentor.
He smiled at what must have been my shocked expression.
"Just to explore and get a little closer to Donner while the vampires
were back being cows. We would have left you shielded and been back in a few
hours."
"You still want to see if you can get to the treasure?" I asked, not
believing that Aahz would even want to go back to the place again, let alone
try to get a golden-milk-giving cow that turned into a vampire.
"Sure," he said. "We're too close to turn back now."
"And just what are you going to do when you find this golden cow?"
"I asked him the same thing," Tanda said.
"I'll figure that out when we find it," Aahz said.
I nodded. "Glad I woke up then."
"I doubt you're going to be up for coming along just yet," Tanda said,
putting a little sandwich and another glass of water in front of me.
"I'll be fine," I said. "Just a little carrot juice and I can fly a
long ways."
The silence in the cabin was intense.
I looked at Aahz, then at Tanda and smiled. "Just kid-ding."
For some reason, neither of them laughed.
Along the way there were more and more cattle, bigger herds than we had
seen at any other place. I was just glad that none of them were lined up
along the road watching us.
The countryside was becoming pretty hilly, and the road looked like it
was headed right at a fairly large mountain range. I hoped Donner was on
this side of the range and not the other. My question was answered almost at
once as we topped a slight ridge and could see off ahead.
I somehow managed to bring us to a stop and lower us to the ground.
Considering what we were facing, I thought that was pretty good
concentration.
From the top of this hill we could see Donner. It had been built going
up the side of a gentle hill. From here it looked as if the buildings down
low were all like the ones in the towns we had already seen, but the farther
up the hill you went, the larger the buildings, the more ornate.
by my previous mentor. My mentor had been killed before he could lift the
joke. Now Aahz just had to wait for the joke to wear off and his powers to
come back, which he said would take more time than I wanted to think about.
Aahz unfolded the magik map and laid it on the top of a rock so we
could all study it.
The town of Evade was clearly marked as our starting point, with a road
leading from it to a town called Baker. In Baker two roads split off to two
other towns, then two roads left each of those towns. Eventually a few of
the roads led to Dodge, where it was marked that the treasure was.
Where Glenda was heading.
But was the golden-milk-giving cow there? I was betting it wasn't. I
was betting the map would change when we reached Baker. And then keep on
changing with every city after that until we finally found the right city.
Glenda was going to be angry, and it served her right. I didn't want to
see what Aahz would do to her the next time he saw her. Pervects are not to
be messed with, and she had left him to die on a frozen planet. What he
would do to her wasn't going to be pretty.
"So we're back needing horses," Aahz said, tracing along the distances
between the towns. Then he looked at me. "Unless you think your flying spell
is good enough here to work for us."
Flying wasn't the strongest of my magik, but it was one of the things
Aahz had trained me to do first. It had saved us from a hanging and a few
other tight spots in our last few adventures. But I wasn't sure if I could
lift all three of us and carry us any distance.
"I can try," I said, wishing I hadn't said those words the moment I
heard them come out of my mouth.
"Concentrate," Aahz said, going into teacher mode. "Search for your
lines of power and use them, pull them in, let them flow through you."
"You can do it, Skeeve," Tanda said.
I wasn't so sure. Each place had power lines, invisible things that all
magicians got their energy from. Some places, like the area of the cabin in
Vortex #6 were jam-packed with power. Back at the cabin I could have flown
fifty people, but here there wasn't much magik power. In fact, it seemed
almost empty.
I stretched out my mind, holding onto the power that I could feel, and
then concentrating on bringing it in and using it to lift all three of us. A
moment later we all were off the ground and into the hot air.
"Not too high," Aahz warned. "Keep us just three or four paces off the
ground."
I was glad to do that, because it was easier. And much safer to boot. I
lowered all three of us back to a position just above the top of the
boulders and held us there for a few moments to make sure I could do it,
then I lowered us back to where we had started.
When I let us go I could feel the energy drain away. I was sweating and
short of breath and needed a drink of water, but at least I had done it.
"Nice job," Tanda said, handing me a canister of water. "How long do
you think you could keep that up?" Aahz asked, watching me with a look that
I knew meant he could see through any extra bragging I might try.
"Honestly, I don't know," I said after I took a long drink of the
wonderfully cold liquid. "With rests, and touching each of you as I do it,
maybe fifteen minutes at a time. The lines of power are weak in this area.
They may be stronger in other areas and then I could last longer."
Aahz nodded, seemingly satisfied with my answer. He turned to Tanda.
"Can you do a cushion spell, in case he drops us?"
"Not a problem," Tanda said.
"What do we do if someone sees us?" I asked. "I'm not sure that I can
do a bird disguise spell as well as keeping us flying."
"We're not going to worry about that," Aahz said. Clearly he didn't
think I could either.
"We'll walk when we see someone," Tanda said, staring at the town below
us in the valley. "Just keep us close to the ground and over a road."
I nodded. "Whenever you're ready."
"Good," Aahz said. "Take us down to Evade, we'll walk through town and
out the other side."
I nodded, glancing at how low the sun was getting in the sky. We'd have
to deal with where we were going to stay later.
I doubted that Aahz would want to stay in Evade. With luck we'd reach
Baker, and they'd have a hotel there as well.
I moved over and stood between Aahz and Tanda, putting a hand on each
of their arms. Then I concentrated on taking in what power I could find and
lifting us about a pace off the ground.
"Hold on to your hats," I said as we lifted into the air.
I floated us down to the road and then picked up speed, skimming us
toward Evade a lot faster than even a running horse could take us. To an
outsider we must have looked very strange. Three strangers seeming to be
just standing, but moving along the road at a very fast clip.
After only two minutes I was starting to feel the wear, but before I
had to stop Aahz said, "I think we're close enough now."
What had cost me an hour of walking earlier had only taken two or three
minutes of flying. Why hadn't I thought of that this morning?
I slowed and put us down at a normal walking pace. The moment I let go
of the power I stumbled, but Tanda kept me from falling on my face. It was
as if every bit of energy had been drained from my muscles, leaving them
weak and noodle-like. "You'll be fine in a moment," Aahz said, keeping us
walking at a good pace toward the now close edge of town.
He was right. A few more steps and I was sweating like a dam had
broken, but I was able to walk.
Tanda gave me some more water, and that brought even more of my energy
back. I was starting to believe that I could do this. And flying, even
though it tired me out, was a lot better than riding horses, let alone doing
the job it would take to pay for one.
We got into town as people were starting to close up their businesses
and shutter the windows.
"You weren't kidding, were you?" Tanda said as we walked down the now
mostly deserted sidewalk.
"They're afraid of something that comes out at night," I said. "I have
no idea what it might be."
As we passed in front of Audry's, my friend the bartender waved from
inside the window. I tipped my hat back at him. These people might be
strange vegetarians who were afraid of the dark, but they sure were nice. We
passed the hotel without Aahz even hesitating. And I didn't say anything
either. The last thing I wanted to let my mentor know was that the fear the
locals felt had gotten to me as well during my one-night stay here. On the
other side of town we stepped off the sidewalk and just kept walking, past a
few homes with the shutters already drawn and bolted. Ten minutes later,
with the sun still not touching the tops of the hills to the west, Aahz gave
the all-clear.
Again I touched each of them, pulled in the power, and lifted us,
sending us down the road as fast as I dared take us, considering I had to
make sharp corners and steep hills.
This time I lasted ten minutes before I had to stop. Water and a quick
rest got me going again, just as the sun started to set. From what I could
tell, we were a long way yet from Baker. It was getting noticeably cooler,
which was also helping me.
"Can you keep going?" Tanda asked as I stopped for a second time and
sat down on a rock beside the road.
"We're making good speed," Aahz said, clearly satisfied with our
progress.
"We are," Tanda said, "but this is hard on Skeeve."
"I can keep going," I said, taking one more drink and then standing. "I
just need to rest every ten minutes or so."
"Understandable," Aahz said. "For someone of your level of skill."
"For someone of any level," Tanda said, stepping to my defense.
"There's not much power in this area. He's having to pull from a ways off."
"That true?" Aahz asked me.
"It is," I said. "But I said I can keep going and I can."
"Then we go when you're ready," Aahz said. "We don't have much light
left and we won't be able to make the speed we are making now at night."
It was clear we were going to spend a night outside on Kowtow and face
what an entire population was afraid to face.
Aahz didn't seem to be worried.
Tanda had said nothing.
I was just the apprentice. What place was it for me to say anything?
In the west the sun was slowly setting. In the east an almost full moon
was starting to come up over the horizon. In a few days the full moon would
signal another fear in the people who lived here: the round-up.
I pushed the thoughts and fears from my mind, focused on bringing in as
much power as I could, then lifted us knee-high off the ground and headed
down the road as fast as I could take us.
The sun had almost set completely by the time I stopped for my next
break. There was still no sign of the town of Baker.
Okay, I'm the first to admit when I'm being stupid, if it's pointed out
to me. Luckily I had had enough common sense to not tell Aahz and Tanda how
worried I was about the darkness, so they didn't get the chance to point any
of my stupidity when we ran into no problems at all after it turned dark.
The first part of the trip was fairly easy. It took me three more rest
stops, and, it was well after the sun had set by the time we got to Baker.
The town was buttoned up tighter than anything I had ever seen. In the
moonlight the buildings looked haunted and strange, more like monster-boxes
than structures. Very little light got past any of the shutters, but the
almost-full moon was giving us enough light to see by to stay on the road.
Baker looked to be about twice the size of Evade, and was spread out
over more than just a Main Street. It was tucked into a small valley, with
flat farmland going off in both directions from it.
We walked into town, following the road and staying off the wooden
sidewalks so that we wouldn't make any noise. The town was just flat empty.
Not even a horse had been left outside. Nothing was moving, and as far as we
could tell, nothing lived here, even though we knew better.
"This is very strange," Tanda said as we got near the center of town.
"How boring would it be to go to bed when the sun set every night? I'd go
stark-raving crazy in a matter of days."
Tanda was the kind of person that always had to be doing something:
going on adventures, shopping, or partying. I had no doubt that it wouldn't
take her days to go crazy here.
"I just wonder what they are afraid of," Aahz said. He pointed to one
building. "Those shutters look as if they could take a pretty good pounding
and still hold."
"It was the same way in Evade," I said. "But I was awake all night and
never heard a sound from outside."
"More than likely this is just an old custom," Tanda said, "and we're
still so far out in the sticks, away from any larger cities, that the custom
remains."
"Are there larger cities in this dimension?" I asked.
"Who knows?" Aahz said. "Just stay alert and watch for anything
unusual."
He didn't have to tell me to do that, since I was already on full
alert. And even though flying, combined with no sleep the night before, had
me exhausted, I doubted I could sleep now even if I wanted to try.
Aahz found a sliver of light coming from the shutters of one store and
stopped. He unfolded the map and we gathered around, trying to be as quiet
as we could while we looked for our next destination.
"You were right, Skeeve," Aahz whispered, patting me on the back.
The map had changed.
Baker, the city we were standing in, was now the focal point of the
map, and two roads led toward two other towns from Baker. The treasure was
now marked in a town called Silver City. Dodge City wasn't even on the map.
Glenda was going to be mad. I wished I could be there when she discovered
how stupid she had been.
"So which way do we go?" Tanda asked.
The two towns next in line from Baker were named Bank and Keep. Both
looked to be about the same distance from here, but Bank was to the right in
the north and Keep was to the left in the south.
"Bank," I said, before I even realized the word was out of my mouth.
"Why?" Aahz asked, staring at me, his intense eyes scary in the
semi-dark.
"I don't know," I said. "It just seems right, and starts with the same
letter as Baker."
Tanda laughed, but had the decency to not say anything.
Aahz just shook his head, folded up the map and put it away.
"Bank it is," he said, moving out into the middle of the street and
walking on toward the west end of town.
"I could be wrong," I said, walking between him and Tanda.
"More than likely," Aahz said.
"So why go with my suggestion?"
"Because I have none better to offer."
"Neither do I," Tanda said. "Besides, if you're wrong, we can blame
you."
"Terrific!" I said. "As if I don't get in enough trouble as it is."
Both Aahz and Tanda chuckled, but said nothing the rest of the way to
the edge of town.
It was easy to find the road to Bank. At a fork in the road a hundred
paces outside of the main part of town there was a sign, clear and readable
even in the moonlight, pointing to the right.
Aahz glanced around, then turned to me. "Ready?"
"Sure," I said.
"Keep it slower than before," Aahz said. "We don't want to run into
anything out here."
I concentrated on the power coming into my body, easier here than back
near Evade. When I had enough I lifted us slightly off the ground and headed
down the road. Outside of town the road was straight, running between what
looked like pastures, and even in the moonlight I could get us up to a
pretty decent speed.
In the pastures along both sides of the road animals were grazing. When
I finally had to stop to rest, a number of the grazing animals looked up at
us, big eyes glowing in the moonlight. They almost looked surprised to see
us.
"Cows," Tanda said, pointing at the large creatures staring at us from
the field.
They looked fat and heavy, with white and dark areas over their bodies.
In the half-darkness, they seemed almost sinister with their big eyes and
long ears.
"So how come they aren't inside like everything else?" I asked as Tanda
gave me more water and a little bit of a snack to eat.
"You're asking me?" she said. "Maybe they're not bothered by whatever
worries the people around here."
That made sense, in an odd sort of way.
"Maybe they are what worries the residents," I said, staring into the
deep pits of eyes of the closest cow.
Both Aahz and Tanda laughed as if that was the funniest thing I had
ever said.
I didn't see what was so funny. Cows looked nasty to me, and I couldn't
imagine trying to get milk, golden or not, from any of the ones I could see.
By the time I was rested enough to get us farther down the road, a
bunch of the nearby cows had sauntered over and were gathering near the road
watching what we were doing. It was creepy, and I was glad to get on the
way.
From that point onward there were cattle along the road watching us, as
if something had told them we were coming. When I asked Aahz what made them
do that, he said he didn't know. He'd never seen cattle act that way.
Tanda said she hadn't either.
That answer didn't comfort me at all.
I kept us going longer and longer, not wanting to rest and have all the
cows gather close to us. By the time the sun came up I had flown us to the
edge of Bank City. I was exhausted and was going to have to get a few hours
sleep before we went on.
At first light, the moment the sun peeked over the edge of the nearby
mountains, the cows stopped watching us and went back to grazing.
For some reason that bothered me a lot more than them staring at us.
"It's an acquired taste."
H. LECHTER
I was so tired that even the short walk into the center of the town of
Bank darned near killed me. All I wanted to do was fall down and sleep, at
least for a few hours. Aahz promised me that was going to be possible very
soon, so I limped along with them.
The merchants were opening up the stores and the shutters had all
disappeared from the windows. Horses pulling wagons were lined up outside a
few stores, and, just like in Evade, a guy wearing a hat and carrying a
shovel was going around cleaning up after the horses. Clearly that was a
standard job in every town. I couldn't imagine a kid wanting to be the
horse-poop cleaner when he grew up. But maybe in this culture, that was the
top job.
Bank looked a lot like Evade, just bigger. The buildings were all the
same size, and there were wooden sidewalks.
We found a small establishment like the one Glenda had left me in, and
sat down at a table near the front window. We were the only ones in the
place. It felt great to be off my feet and not moving. I might be able to
sleep right there in the chair if they let me.
As I looked around I realized this place was almost identical to
Audry's in Evade, with the bar down the left side and wooden tables and
chairs.
"What can I get for ya, folks?" A man asked as he came out from the
back room.
He was just like the guy in Evade, right down to the white apron and
the dirty towel.
"Could we trouble you for just one glass of your best juice?" I asked.
"Not a problem at all," he said, smiling. "You want some breakfast, I
just got a fresh load in this very morning. Good and crisp."
"Sounds great," I said, "maybe later. But I think first we just want to
sit a spell."
The guy came back with the carrot juice drink and slid it onto the
table with a smile before he headed back into the kitchen area.
"You've picked up the lingo pretty well," Tanda said. "A night alone in
a place do that for you?"
"I suppose," I said, taking a sip of the juice. "Isn't it creepy how
all these people seem the same from town to town?"
"I was noticing that as well," Tanda said. "The guy shoveling dung
looks just like every other guy I've seen shoveling dung."
Aahz laughed and I just stared at her, too tired to even try to figure
out what she had just said.
"I wonder why there's no milk," Aahz said, staring at the carrot juice
with a look of disgust on his face.
"I don't think you want to ask, even if they had any," I said. "I was
in a kitchen of one of these places, and there was nothing there but
veggies, and not a clean surface in the room."
"Ughh," Tanda said. "More than likely you could get us arrested for
even thinking of drinking milk in a dimension full of cows."
"You two have far too active an imagination," Aahz said as he pulled
out the map and opened it.
Again it had changed.
I kept sipping my carrot juice as I studied the parchment. Bank, the
town we were in, was the main town on the map now. And the treasure was now
located in a city called Placer. Three roads left Bank and headed off in
three directions, all, in one fashion or another, getting to Placer after a
few more towns.
"Now which way?" I asked, staring at our options.
They were towns called Chip, Pie, and Biscuit. Weird names. Everything
about this dimension was starting to seem weird to me.
Tanda pointed to one of the towns. "Following Skeeve's plan of going to
towns that start with the letter B, we head for Biscuit."
"Sounds good to me," I said.
Aahz just shook his head in amazement.
"As good as any, I suppose."
He studied the map for a moment more and then folded it up and put it
away.
Biscuit was on the road that stayed north going out the west side of
Bank. I doubted it would be hard to find. I took another sip while Tanda
wrinkled her nose at my drink and me.
"It's an acquired taste," I said, realizing what I was doing. I had
finished almost half the glass.
I offered the rest to her, but she shook her head.
"No, thanks. Not in a million years."
I shrugged and took another drink. The stuff wasn't bad at all, once
you got past the initial taste of smashed and juiced carrots.
"So how you feeling?" Aahz asked.
"He's going to have to rest," Tanda said, not letting me answer.
"I know that," Aahz said. "I was just wondering how we were going to do
that. We don't dare go back to the cabin because Glenda might be there. I
don't want to deal with her just yet. So we have to find some private spot."
"Actually," I said, stopping the fight before it got started, "I'm
feeling pretty good. A little juice here and some time sitting down and I
think I can go again for a while."
Tanda looked into the orange liquid.
"What did they put in there?"
"You know," I said, looking at the juice, "I don't know, but it really
is helping."
We sat for another ten minutes while I finished off the carrot juice,
then I went over and asked how I could pay the man for the drink.
"Come back for a dinner," he said. "That's payment enough."
I thanked him for his hospitality. I had no idea how this bartering
system in this dimension worked, but it sure made everyone friendly.
We headed toward the west end of town, walking down the sidewalk and
tipping our hats at the smiling people we met. I felt great again. Drinking
that juice was like getting a good night's sleep. I had no idea what was in
one besides carrots, but I could easily get hooked on them.
It wasn't going to be a problem taking the wrong road because there was
a sign saying Biscuit and a big arrow at the fork in the roads. Around us
were buildings and homes and several hundred of head of cattle grazing, so
we started off walking, going slow and steady as the sun got hotter.
Finally, after maybe a mile, we were far enough out in the country to
not chance being seen flying.
"You sure you're all right?" Aahz asked.
"Never felt better," I said.
"You know, at the next town, I'm trying some of that juice," Tanda
said.
As I reached out with my mind searching for power, it became clear that
we were in an area much more powerful than where we had started. It was easy
for me to get enough to lift the three of us knee-high off the ground and
whisk us along.
We had to stop flying and walk a half dozen times over the next few
hours when we saw people coming, or a house was too close to the road. And
we must have passed at least a million cows along the way. Not one had
actually looked at us. And not once did I have to actually sit down and
rest.
Amazing juice.
By the time we reached Biscuit, it was mid-afternoon and I was starting
to get tired again. We found a place to sit in a bar that looked just like
Audry's and the one in Bank. Now all of us were growing bothered by the
similar nature of the places. I wanted to run from the bar when a man who
looked a lot like the previous two, down to wearing a white apron and
carrying a dirty rag, came out of the kitchen and asked us what we wanted.
"Just two glasses of your finest," I said.
"Sure you all don't want an early dinner?" he asked. "I just got a
fresh load from the fields. Really crisp. We all need our energy, you know,
with the round-up coming."
I glanced at Aahz, then Tanda, then answered the guy's question.
"After we sit awhile we just might."
He smiled real big, like I had said the right thing, then went and
brought us our juice. He had disappeared into the back room before any of us
said anything.
"So someone want to explain to me what's going on?" Tanda asked.
"I've never seen anything like this," Aahz said. "I thought you two
were just imagining things at the last stop. But these three places are
almost identical."
"Are we going in circles or something?" I asked. "Is it possible that
all these towns are the same one?"
"No, there're different sizes and shapes and in different countryside,"
Tanda said.
"No doubt we're in different towns," Aahz said, "all built, it seems,
off the same pattern, with the same kind of people living in them."
"Okay," Tanda said, "now I can safely say I've seen it all."
"Not yet," I said. 'We've still got the round-up, whatever that is. And
a golden cow."
Tanda nodded and looked at Aahz with a serious face.
"I'm starting to think this treasure isn't worth what we're risking."
Aahz looked at her as if she had gone crazy.
"Are you kidding? We've come this far. Only a few more towns to go."
She nodded, but I could tell as I sipped my juice that this entire
dimension was bothering Tanda a great deal. And in the time I had known
Tanda, I had never seen anything bother her.
Aahz glanced to make sure the guy was still in the kitchen, then opened
up the map and spread it on the table. As every other time, it had changed
again.
This time, we had four roads to pick from, and all the towns started
with the letter "B". Brae was the southern most, then there was Brawn, then
Bent, and finally, to the north, Bethel. The golden treasure was marked as
being in a place called Donner.
"Well, so much for that system," I said.
"And it was working, too," Aahz said.
"You know, maybe I could drain off the magik from the map again." I had
just finished my entire glass of carrot juice and was feeling really, really
alive and well.
Aahz glanced at the kitchen door again, then asked me, "You feel up to
it?"
"I feel like I'm getting stronger the farther we come," I said.
"Let him try," Tanda said. "Might save us a lot of back-tracking."
Aahz looked at me, then nodded. "Give it a shot."
I took a deep breath and let my mind search out the power in the map.
For an instant I didn't think anything was going to happen. Then I felt it.
The power rushed through me from the map as I hastily directed it into the
ground. My head spun for a second, and it was done. The power was gone and
the map was normal...for now. I took a deep breath, again feeling the
strain. I needed more carrot juice.
"It worked," Aahz said. "Nice job, Skeeve."
It wasn't often that I got a compliment from my mentor, so I savored
the moment. Tanda patted me on the arm and gave me a kiss on the cheek for a
reward. Nothing like doing a job and doing it well.
I took her glass of carrot juice and sipped from it while we studied
the map.
Only one road led from Biscuit where we were, through Bethel and then
to Donner. Donner actually was the place with the golden cow. We had been
closer than we thought.
But from the look of the map, it was a long way to Bethel, and even
farther to Donner. Just getting to the first place was going to take to the
middle of the night. I just hoped the cows didn't watch us.
"You rested enough to get going?" Aahz asked me.
I downed half of the glass of carrot juice and nodded.
"Put this in one of our water containers, would you?"
Tanda nodded as I stood and moved to the door into the back room. I
knocked and the guy came out.
"What can we do for you in exchange for the wonderful drinks you
served?"
He smiled, as if I had again said some magik words.
"Just come back for food sometime soon."
"I promise we will," I said. I tipped my hat at him.
"Thanks."
He stood there smiling, watching us leave like we were his children
headed off to school.
We went through Bethel in the middle of the night. The town looked like
all the others, and, even though it was locked up tight and shuttered, I
recognized the Audry's-place-look-alike as we passed it.
For the past few hours, since a stop we made right after dark, the cows
had again watched us. We were the cow entertainment for the night as we sped
past pasture after pasture. Thousands and thousands of cows lined the road,
ready for us to come flashing past. I had no idea why they did it, or how
they knew we were coming, but there wasn't a stretch of road that didn't
have cows lined up beside it all night long. And even though there were no
fences, none of them came into the road to stop us.
After a while I stopped looking at them as well. Their big eyes,
shining in the moonlight, just unnerved me.
My flying was getting better and better as the trip went on, and since
the moon was almost full the road was easy to see. I could manage almost an
hour of nonstop flying before I had to rest, and, because of the mostly flat
land, we were making great time.
Even though I wanted to drink it earlier because I was feeling tired, I
forced myself to wait until we were walking through Bethel to finish the
last of the carrot juice I had had Tanda save.
Just that half a glass gave me enough energy to keep on going, as if I
had slept a full night. It seemed to allow me to use every bit of the power
around me to keep us above the road and speeding toward the treasure.
At sunrise the cows stopped watching again, going back to gra2ing as if
we didn't matter at all. For a while I felt almost insulted, before I
realized what I was thinking. How could a cow not wanting to watch me fly
past ever insult me? Made no sense.
About halfway through the morning, still a long distance from Donner,
we came on a small town. It couldn't have been half the size of Evade, and
not more than a dot on the map. The juice I had drunk in the middle of the
night had long ago worn off and I was so tired that I was just about falling
down.
As I had hoped when I saw the little town, right in the middle was a
place that looked a lot like Audry's. It was empty and we went in, taking
what I was starting to think of as our normal table. I slouched in a chair
in front of the window, glad to still be alive.
There was only one thing bad about the carrot juice. When you came down
off of it, you came down hard. Right now, if we were going to get to Donner
by the middle of the night, I needed another fix or two of the golden
liquor.
This place didn't just look like Audry's; it could have been Audry's.
And when the guy with the white apron and dirty rag came out of the back
room, I wasn't surprised in the slightest.
"What can I get for you, strangers?"
"If you wouldn't mind," I said before either Tanda or Aahz could speak,
"could I trouble you for three glasses of your best?"
The guy beamed, wiped his hands with the towel, and said the words I
was expecting.
"Not a problem. Sure I couldn't interest you folks in some lunch as
well? Just got a fresh wagon-load in. Everything's really crisp. You all
need your strength, what with the round-up coming."
"Thanks, partner," I said. "That sounds really good, but I think we'll
just start with the juice right now, if you don't mind."
"Not at all," he said.
A few moments later he came back with three glasses of the carrot
juice, smiled at us as he put them down, then headed off into the kitchen.
"Okay, that does it," Tanda said, staring at where the guy had gone.
"I'm officially completely creeped out."
"What?" Aahz asked. "All the staring cows last night didn't do it for
you?"
"Okay, double creeped out," Tanda said.
I downed about a half a glass of carrot juice and sat back, letting the
wonderful flavor warm me. How I had ever lived without the stuff was beyond
me.
"I think you might want to go easy on that juice," Aahz said. He was
looking as tired as I had felt a few minutes ago.
"I think you might want to try some," I said, "if you're expecting to
get to the treasure tonight."
He shook his head.
"I think one of us hooked on carrot juice is enough."
"Your loss," I said.
He just frowned and pulled out the map.
This time the map hadn't changed. My magik had worked. We were still
headed for Donner, which looked to be a good distance from here. I was going
to need all the energy I could get. I downed another quarter of the glass.
By the time we left the place, with me running through the same routine
with the guy in the apron, promising we might be back for dinner, I had
downed a glass and a half of the juice, and had the rest in the water
containers. I was good to go through the night. As far as I was concerned,
Tanda and Aahz could sleep while I flew. They weren't doing anything, so why
not?
Later that afternoon I think they both did actually fall asleep while
flashing along knee-high off the road. It was lucky for all of us I had my
carrot juice.
As it happened, we were approaching another tiny little town along the
road to Donner as the sun set. On the map this place wasn't even listed. It
had maybe twenty buildings, all of them boarded up and shuttered. Still,
Aahz figured there was no point in taking any chances, so we walked into the
tiny town.
We were just about through the town when, at once, every door in the
town slammed open. It was a dark and quiet night, with the sun down and the
moon not yet up. That much sudden noise and movement darned near scared me
right out of my skin.
"What's happening?" Tanda asked.
I didn't have a clue. From what I could tell, every person in the town,
all dressed in different clothing, some in nightshirts, walked into the
street like zombies, turned, and in a line headed out of town to the west.
We quickly stepped up onto the sidewalk to get out of the way as the
chain of people moved past down the center of the road. There was no life in
any of their eyes or fighting against what was happening to them.
"Be ready to take us back to Vortex #6," Aahz whispered to Tanda.
"Oh, I've been ready for days," she said.
The last person moved past us, leaving the town empty and every door
standing wide open. I had no idea what we should do. I took the canister out
of my pouch and downed the last of the second glass of carrot juice, just to
be ready for whatever was coming.
Aahz motioned that we should follow them, so, moving slowly about
thirty steps behind the last person, we followed the line of people out into
the countryside, along the very same road we had planned on traveling.
The farther out we got, the more I expected to see the cows waiting for
us, watching the zombie townspeople now. But there were no cows to be seen.
But there were a lot of naked people, yawning and stretching scattered
around the fields, as if they were just waking up from a long nap.
The townspeople kept doing the zombie march as the naked people in the
fields moved toward them. The first naked guy to reach the line near us
grabbed an old man in a nightshirt, tipped back the old guy's head, and bit
into his neck.
"Vampires," Tanda whispered.
Behind us the full moon was easing up over the edge of the hill,
shining light on the feast as more and more vampires picked a meal and bit
in. So this was what the round-up was all about? I couldn't believe what I
was seeing.
The cows were vampires, and their feeding stock was the people. No
wonder all the people in all the towns all ate vegetables and were afraid of
the night. The people who lived in the towns were nothing more than cattle,
being fattened for slaughter every month.
It was the cows that were the masters.
"You are not in the round-up line," a deep and pleasant voice said from
behind us.
All three of us spun around as one to face two naked people. One was a
man, one a woman. Their bodies were perfectly formed, their muscles toned,
their eyes large and brown, like the cow's eyes along the road every night.
The woman was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen without
clothes on. No, make that the most beautiful. And with one glance into her
eyes, I wanted to give myself to her. I didn't care if she bit me or not.
The next instant the dust storm on Vortex #6 slammed into me, snapping
me out of my desire to make a fool of myself with a beautiful woman for the
second time in a week.
"I can quit anytime."
S. HOLMES
The hundred slogging steps through the dust storm to the cabin seemed
to get longer and longer every time I had to do it. I had no idea why we
just couldn't D-Hop right into the cabin and skip all this dust and wind. I
was going to ask Tanda that, as soon as things settled down.
As we got near the cabin, Tanda held up her hand for us to stop. I
could barely see the dark shape of the building in the storm. There was no
light in the window this time.
She did something with both arms I assumed was some sort of scanning
magik that assassins knew, then motioned that it was clear and we should
move forward. Therefore, Glenda wasn't here waiting for us.
I had the sudden image of one of the cow-vampires bending her over and
sucking on her neck in the middle of some road somewhere. Considering what
she had done to me, it was one of the nicer thoughts I had had about her in
days.
We got inside and the door closed against the storm.
"Are we shielded?" Aahz asked Tanda.
"Up and solid," she said. "Skeeve was right; there is powerful energy
here. I can hold the shield for as long as we need it."
"So Glenda can't pop in and surprise us?" I asked, moving to the stove
to get it started before I took off my coat.
"Not a chance," Tanda said. "She hops back here, she's going to get
awful dirty standing out there in the dust."
Aahz laughed. "Couldn't happen to a nicer demon."
"Want something to eat?" Tanda asked, working around in the cabinets as
I sat at the table.
"Just more carrot juice," I said.
I could feel my body starting to get really tired, as if someone had
pulled the energy plug and what I had left was draining onto the floor.
I dug into my pouch for the canister that I had been carrying. It was
gone. I checked again and it was still not there. I couldn't remember doing
anything with it, but I might have dropped it in the excitement of watching
cows become vampires and bite on people.
"You have the other canister of juice?" I asked Aahz. "Afraid not,
apprentice," he said. "Left it back on Kowtow when we hopped out of there."
My first reaction was not to believe him. Then it became clear that he
had left the rest of my carrot juice, and my reaction was anger.
"How could you do that?" I shouted. "Easy," he said.
He showed me by reaching into his pouch, taking out an invisible
canister, and dropping it to the floor. "But what am I going to do without
it?" Again I shouted. I needed that carrot juice; right down to the very
bottom of my soul I needed it.
"You're going to sleep for a long time," Tanda said, smiling at me.
Just her mention of sleep made me sleepy. I couldn't believe they had
done this to me.
"Taking a guy's carrot juice isn't nice."
"I know," Tanda said. "But we're doing it for your own good. You
haven't slept in at least three days. You need to stop moving and just lie
down."
The tiredness was washing up over me like a wave on the beach. It was
everything I could do to even think about saying I didn't need sleep.
How dare she tell me what I needed? How dare Aahz leave my juice
behind? Hadn't I trusted him with that juice?
"I don't need to rest," I said, my voice sounding funny to my ears.
"How about you just lie down for a few minutes and then we'll talk
about it," Tanda said, helping me to me feet and moving me over to the
soft-looking bed against one wall.
"Well, maybe just a minute," I said.
What could a minute hurt? I'd get back some of my energy, and then
convince Tanda to hop me back to get my juice.
"Only one minute," I said.
Or at least I think I said that. I might not have, because from the
moment my head touched the pillow, I don't remember another thing.
I woke up with a blinding headache and a taste in my mouth that was a
cross between horse droppings and stale carrots. I rolled over and the pain
hit me even harder, smashing into my head like someone was taking a hammer
and pounding me right between the eyes.
"Ohhh," I said, putting both hands to my head trying to stop the agony.
"The sleeping apprentice awakes," Aahz, said, his voice far too loud
for the size of the space between my ears.
"And in pain, it seems," Tanda shouted.
"Please whisper," I said, but my throat was so dry the words didn't
really come out.
I wanted to die. Why hadn't they just killed me as I slept? Or maybe
they had tried, which was why I hurt so much.
I also wanted to be sick, but that wasn't possible since there wasn't
anything left in my stomach. But my stomach still felt like it wanted to
twist inside out and come up through my throat. And the world spinning
didn't help that feeling at all.
And, most of all, I really wanted to forget all the nightmares I'd had
about cows turning into vampires, and the people of a dimension being
nothing more than food stock. What an awful nightmare. That was the last
time I had carrot juice if it caused those kind of visions.
Tanda came over and knelt beside me. I could feel her hand on my
forehead, then a soft energy flowing through me, washing the pain and nausea
with it. Whatever she did, it was nice.
After a moment she moved away and I opened my eyes. My head didn't hurt
as much, and the world that felt as if it was smashing down on me from all
sides had retreated.
I also realized that what I had thought were carrot-juice-induced
nightmares had actually happened. "That help?" Tanda asked.
I nodded, wishing I hadn't almost at once. She had taken away the pain,
but the rest of the problems-upset stomach and spinning world-were still
with me.
She brought me a glass of water, helping me sit up to drink it.
"Well, hangovers are sure fun, aren't they, apprentice?" Aahz asked.
"No," I managed to croak out after I took a small drink, "they are
not."
"Good thing to remember next time you go bingeing."
The thought of even seeing another carrot made my stomach twist.
"Was there alcohol in the carrot juice?"
"No, but it had other stuff in it," Aahz said, "Stuff I'm guessing make
the people of those towns good eating for the vampires."
My stomach twisted.
"And maybe help keep them under control," Tanda said, looking at me.
"Think you can come to the table and try to eat a little something?"
"I can try," I said, "but no promises."
"Good enough. You need to eat."
"How long was I sleeping?" I asked as I stood and shuffled my way to
the table.
I dropped into a chair and then tried to remain still while the world
spun for a moment.
"About twelve hours," Aahz said. "We were just getting ready to head
back to Kowtow when you started to wake up."
"Without me?" I asked, staring into the eyes of my mentor.
He smiled at what must have been my shocked expression.
"Just to explore and get a little closer to Donner while the vampires
were back being cows. We would have left you shielded and been back in a few
hours."
"You still want to see if you can get to the treasure?" I asked, not
believing that Aahz would even want to go back to the place again, let alone
try to get a golden-milk-giving cow that turned into a vampire.
"Sure," he said. "We're too close to turn back now."
"And just what are you going to do when you find this golden cow?"
"I asked him the same thing," Tanda said.
"I'll figure that out when we find it," Aahz said.
I nodded. "Glad I woke up then."
"I doubt you're going to be up for coming along just yet," Tanda said,
putting a little sandwich and another glass of water in front of me.
"I'll be fine," I said. "Just a little carrot juice and I can fly a
long ways."
The silence in the cabin was intense.
I looked at Aahz, then at Tanda and smiled. "Just kid-ding."
For some reason, neither of them laughed.
Along the way there were more and more cattle, bigger herds than we had
seen at any other place. I was just glad that none of them were lined up
along the road watching us.
The countryside was becoming pretty hilly, and the road looked like it
was headed right at a fairly large mountain range. I hoped Donner was on
this side of the range and not the other. My question was answered almost at
once as we topped a slight ridge and could see off ahead.
I somehow managed to bring us to a stop and lower us to the ground.
Considering what we were facing, I thought that was pretty good
concentration.
From the top of this hill we could see Donner. It had been built going
up the side of a gentle hill. From here it looked as if the buildings down
low were all like the ones in the towns we had already seen, but the farther
up the hill you went, the larger the buildings, the more ornate.