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One thing was certain, that the WHITE kitten had had nothing to do
with it: - it was the black kitten's fault entirely. For the white kitten
had been having its face washed by the old cat for the last quarter of an
hour (and bearing it pretty well, considering); so you see that it
COULDN'T have had any hand in the mischief.
The way Dinah washed her children's faces was this: first she held
the poor thing down by its ear with one paw, and then with the other paw
she rubbed its face all over, the wrong way, beginning at the nose: and
just now, as I said, she was hard at work on the white kitten, which was
lying quite still and trying to purr - no doubt feeling that it was all
meant for its good.
But the black kitten had been finished with earlier in the afternoon,
and so, while Alice was sitting curled up in a corner of the great
arm-chair, half talking to herself and half asleep, the kitten had been
having a grand game of romps with the ball of worsted Alice had been
trying to wind up, and had been rolling it up and down till it had all
come undone again; and there it was, spread over the hearth-rug, all knots
and tangles, with the kitten running after its own tail in the middle.
- Oh, you wicked little thing! - cried Alice, catching up the kitten,
and giving it a little kiss to make it understand that it was in disgrace.
- Really, Dinah ought to have taught you better manners! You OUGHT, Dinah,
you know you ought! - she added, looking reproachfully at the old cat, and
speaking in as cross a voice as she could manage - and then she scrambled
back into the arm-chair, taking the kitten and the worsted with her, and
began winding up the ball again. But she didn't get on very fast, as she
was talking all the time, sometimes to the kitten, and sometimes to
herself. Kitty sat very demurely on her knee, pretending to watch the
progress of the winding, and now and then putting out one paw and gently
touching the ball, as if it would be glad to help, if it might.
- Do you know what to-morrow is, Kitty? - Alice began. - You'd have
guessed if you'd been up in the window with me - only Dinah was making you
tidy, so you couldn't. I was watching the boys getting in stick for the
bonfire - and it wants plenty of sticks, Kitty! Only it got so cold, and
it snowed so, they had to leave off. Never mind, Kitty, we'll go and see
the bonfire to-morrow. - Here Alice wound two or three turns of the
worsted round the kitten's neck, just to see how it would look: this led
to a scramble, in which the ball rolled down upon the floor, and yards and
yards of it got unwound again.
- Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty, - Alice went on as soon as they
were comfortably settled again, - when I saw all the mischief you had been
doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the
snow! And you'd have deserved it, you little mischievous darling! What
have you got to say for yourself? Now don't interrupt me! - she went on,
holding up one finger. - I'm going to tell you all your faults. Number
one: you squeaked twice while Dinah was washing your face this morning.
Now you can't deny it, Kitty: I heard you! What that you say? -
(pretending that the kitten was speaking.) - Her paw went into your eye?
Well, that's YOUR fault, for keeping your eyes open - if you'd shut them
tight up, it wouldn't have happened. Now don't make any more excuses, but
listen! Number two: you pulled Snowdrop away by the tail just as I had put
down the saucer of milk before her! What, you were thirsty, were you? How
do you know she wasn't thirsty too? Now for number three: you unwound
every bit of the worsted while I wasn't looking!
- That's three faults, Kitty, and you've not been punished for any of
them yet. You know I'm saving up all your punishments for Wednesday week -
Suppose they had saved up all MY punishments! - she went on, talking more
to herself than the kitten. - What WOULD they do at the end of a year? I
should be sent to prison, I suppose, when the day came. Or - let me see -
suppose each punishment was to be going without a dinner: then, when the
miserable day came, I should have to go without fifty dinners at once!
Well, I shouldn't mind THAT much! I'd far rather go without them than eat
them!
- Do you hear the snow against the window-panes, Kitty? How nice and
soft it sounds! Just as if some one was kissing the window all over
outside. I wonder if the snow LOVES the trees and fields, that it kisses
them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white
quilt; and perhaps it says, "Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes
again." And when they wake up in the summer, Kitty, they dress themselves
all in green, and dance about - whenever the wind blows - oh, that's very
pretty! - cried Alice, dropping the ball of worsted to clap her hands. -
And I do so WISH it was true! I'm sure the woods look sleepy in the
autumn, when the leaves are getting brown.
- Kitty, can you play chess? Now, don't smile, my dear, I'm asking it
seriously. Because, when we were playing just now, you watched just as if
you understood it: and when I said "Check!" you purred! Well, it WAS a
nice check, Kitty, and really I might have won, if it hadn't been for that
nasty Knight, that came wiggling down among my pieces. Kitty, dear, let's
pretend - And here I wish I could tell you half the things Alice used to
say, beginning with her favourite phrase - Let's pretend. - She had had
quite a long argument with her sister only the say before - all because
Alice had begun with - Let's pretend we're kings and queens; - and her
sister, who liked being very exact, had argued that they couldn't, because
there were only two of them, and Alice had been reduced at last to say, -
Well, YOU can be one of them then, and I'LL be all the rest." And once she
had really frightened her old nurse by shouting suddenly in her ear, -
Nurse! Do let's pretend that I'm a hungry hyaena, and you're a bone.
But this is taking us away from Alice's speech to the kitten.
- Let's pretend that you're the Red Queen, Kitty! Do you know, I
think if you sat up and folded your arms, you'd look exactly like her. Now
do try, there's a dear! - And Alice got the Red Queen off the table, and
set it up before the kitten as a model for it to imitate: however, the
thing didn't succeed, principally, Alice said, because the kitten wouldn't
fold its arms properly. So, to punish it, she held it up to the
Looking-glass, that it might see how sulky it was - and if you're not good
directly, - she added, - I'll put you through into Looking-glass House.
How would you like THAT?
- Now, if you'll only attend, Kitty, and not talk so much, I'll tell
you all my ideas about Looking-glass House. First, there's the room you
can see through the glass - that's just the same as our drawing room, only
the things go the other way. I can see all of it when I get upon a chair -
all but the bit behind the fireplace. Oh! I do so wish I could see THAT
bit! I want so much to know whether they've a fire in the winter: you
never CAN tell, you know, unless our fire smokes, and then smoke comes up
in that room too - but that may be only pretence, just to make it look as
if they had a fire. Well then, the books are something like our books,
only the words go the wrong way; I know that, because I've held up one of
our books to the glass, and then they hold up one in the other room.
- How would you like to live in Looking-glass House, Kitty? I wonder
if they'd give you milk in there? Perhaps Looking-glass milk isn't good to
drink - But oh, Kitty! now we come to the passage. You can just see a
little PEEP of the passage in Looking-glass House, if you leave the door
of our drawing-room wide open: and it's very like our passage as far as
you can see, only you know it may be quite different on beyond. Oh, Kitty!
how nice it would be if we could only get through into Lookingglass House!
I'm sure it's got, oh! such beautiful things in it! Let's pretend there's
a way of getting through into it, somehow, Kitty. Let's pretend the glass
has got all soft like gauze, so that we can get through. Why, it's turning
into a sort of mist now, I declare! It'll be easy enough to get through
She was up on the chimney-piece while she said this, though she hardly
knew how she had got there. And certainly the glass WAS beginning to melt
away, just like a bright silvery mist.
In another moment Alice was through the glass, and had jumped lightly
down into the Looking-glass room. The very first thing she did was to look
whether there was a fire in the fireplace, and she was quite pleased to
find that there was a real one, blazing away as brightly as the one she
had left behind. - So I shall be as warm here as I was in the old room, -
thought Alice: - warmer, in fact, because there'll be no one here to scold
me away from the fire. Oh, what fun it'll be, when they see me through the
glass in here, and can't get at me!
Then she began looking about, and noticed that what could be seen
from the old room was quite common and uninteresting, but that all the
rest was a different as possible. For instance, the pictures on the wall
next the fire seemed to be all alive, and the very clock on the
chimney-piece (you know you can only see the back of it in the
Looking-glass) had got the face of a little old man, and grinned at her.
- They don't keep this room so tidy as the other, - Alice thought to
herself, as she noticed several of the chessmen down in the hearth among
the cinders: but in another moment, with a little - Oh! - of surprise, she
was down on her hands and knees watching them. The chessmen were walking
about, two and two!
- Here are the Red King and the Red Queen, - Alice said (in a
whisper, for fear of frightening them), - and there are the White King and
the White Queen sitting on the edge of the shovel - and here are two
castles walking arm in arm - I don't think they can hear me, she went on,
as she put her head closer down, - and I'm nearly sure they can't see me.
I feel somehow as if I were invisible
Here something began squeaking on the table behind Alice, and made
her turn her head just in time to see one of the White Pawns roll over and
begin kicking: she watched it with great curiosity to see what would
happen next.
- It is the voice of my child! - the White Queen cried out as she
rushed past the King, so violently that she knocked him over among the
cinders. - My precious Lily! My imperial kitten! - and she began
scrambling wildly up the side of the fender.
- Imperial fiddlestick! - said the King, rubbing his nose, which had
been hurt by the fall. He had a right to be a LITTLE annoyed with the
Queen, for he was covered with ashes from head to foot.
Alice was very anxious to be of use, and, as the poor little Lily was
nearly screaming herself into a fit, she hastily picked up the Queen and
set her on the table by the side of her noisy little daughter.
The Queen gasped, and sat down: the rapid journey through the air had
quite taken away her breath and for a minute or two she could do nothing
but hug the little Lily in silence. As soon as she had recovered her
breath a little, she called out to the White King, who was sitting sulkily
among the ashes, - Mind the volcano!
- What volcano? - said the Kind, looking up anxiously into the fire,
as if he thought that was the most likely place to find one.
- Blew - me - up, - panted the Queen, who was still a little out of
breath. - Mind you come up - the regular way - don't get blown up!
Alice watched the White King as he slowly struggled up from bar to
bar, till at last she said, - Why, you'll be hours and hours getting to
the table, at that rate. I'd far better help you, hadn't I? - But the King
took no notice of the question: it was quite clear that he could neither
hear her nor see her.
So Alice picked him up very gently, and lifted him across more slowly
than she had lifted the Queen, that she mightn't take his breath away:
but, before she put him on the table, she thought she might as well dust
him a little, he was so covered with ashes.
She said afterwards that she had never seen in all her life such a
face as the King made, when he found himself held in the air by an
invisible hand, and being dusted: he was far too much astonished to cry
out, but his eyes and his mouth went on getting larger and larger, and
rounder and rounder, till her hand shook so with laughing that she nearly
let him drop upon the floor.
- Oh! PLEASE don't make such faces, my dear! - she cried out, quite
forgetting that the King couldn't hear her. - You make me laugh so that I
can hardly hold you! And don't keep your mouth so wide open! All the ashes
will get into it - there, now I think you're tidy enough! - she added, as
she smoothed his hair, and set him upon the table near the Queen.
The King immediately fell flat on his back, and lay perfectly still:
and Alice was a little alarmed at what she had done, and went round the
room to see if she could find any water to throw over him. However, she
could find nothing but a bottle of ink, and when she got back with it she
found he had recovered, and he and the Queen were talking together in a
frightened whisper - so low, that Alice could hardly hear what they said.
The King was saying, - I assure, you my dear, I turned cold to the
very ends of my whiskers!
To which the Queen replied, - You haven't got any whiskers. - The
horror of that moment, - the King went on, - I shall never,
NEVER forget!
- You will, though, - the Queen said, - if you don't make a
memorandum of it.
Alice looked on with great interest as the King took an enormous
memorandum-book out of his pocket, and began writing. A sudden thought
struck her, and she took hold of the end of the pencil, which came some
way over his shoulder, and began writing for him.
The poor King look puzzled and unhappy, and struggled with the pencil
for some time without saying anything; but Alice was too strong for him,
and at last he panted out, - My dear! I really MUST get a thinner pencil.
I can't manage this one a bit; it writes all manner of things that I don't
intend
- What manner of things? - said the Queen, looking over the book (in
which Alice had put - THE WHITE KNIGHT IS SLIDING DOWN THE POKER. HE
BALANCES VERY BADLY') - That's not a memorandum of YOUR feelings!
There was a book lying near Alice on the table, and while she sat
watching the White King (for she was still a little anxious about him, and
had the ink all ready to throw over him, in case he fainted again), she
turned over the leaves, to find some part that she could read, - for it's
all in some language I don't know, - she said to herself.
It was like this.
YKCOWREBBAJ
sevot yhtils eht dna ,gillirb sawT
ebaw eht ni elbmig dna eryg diD
,sevogorob eht erew ysmim llA
.ebargtuo shtar emom eht dnA
She puzzled over this for some time, but at last a bright thought
struck her. - Why, it's a Looking-glass book, of course! And if I hold it
up to a glass, the words will all go the right way again."
This was the poem that Alice read.
JABBERWOCKY
- Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
- Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jujub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought
So rested he by the Tumtum gree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wook,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
- And has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Calloh! Callay!
He chortled in his joy.
- Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
- It seems very pretty, - she said when she had finished it, - but
it's RATHER hard to understand! - (You see she didn't like to confess,
ever to herself, that she couldn't make it out at all.) - Somehow it seems
to fill my head with ideas - only I don't exactly know what they are!
However, SOMEBODY killed SOMETHING: that's clear, at any rate
- But oh! - thought Alice, suddenly jumping up, - if I don't make
haste I shall have to go back through the Looking-glass, before I've seen
what the rest of the house is like! Let's have a look at the garden first!
- She was out of the room in a moment, and ran down stairs or, at least,
it wasn't exactly running, but a new invention of hers for getting down
stairs quickly and easily, as Alice said to herself. She just kept the
tips of her fingers on the hand-rail, and floated gently down without even
touching the stairs with her feet; then she floated on through the hall,
and would have gone straight out at the door in the same way, if she
hadn't caught hold of the door-post. She was getting a little giddy with
so much floating in the air, and was rather glad to find herself walking
again in the natural way.
- I should see the garden far better, - said Alice to herself, - if I
could get to the top of that hill: and here's a path that leads straight
to it - at least, no, it doesn't do that - (after going a few yards along
the path, and turning several sharp corners), - but I suppose it will at
last. But how curiously it twists! It's more like a corkscrew than a path!
Well, THIS turn goes to the hill, I suppose - no, it doesn't! This goes
straight back to the house! Well then, I'll try it the other way.
And so she did: wandering up and down, and trying turn after turn,
but always coming back to the house, do what she would. Indeed, once, when
she turned a corner rather more quickly than usual, she ran against it
before she could stop herself.
- It's no use talking about it," Alice said, looking up at the house
and pretending it was arguing with her. - I'm NOT going in again yet. I
know I should have to get through the Looking-glass again - back into the
old room - and there'd be an end of all my adventures!
So, resolutely turning back upon the house, she set out once more
down the path, determined to keep straight on till she got to the hill.
For a few minutes all went on well, and she was just saying, - I really
SHALL do it this time - when the path gave a sudden twist and shook itself
(as she described it afterwards), and the next moment she found herself
actually walking in at the door.
- Oh, it's too bad! - she cried. - I never saw such a house for
getting in the way! Never!
However, there was the hill full in sight, so there was nothing to be
done but start again. This time she came upon a large flower-bed, with a
border of daisies, and a willow-tree growing in the middle.
- O Tiger-lily, - said Alice, addressing herself to one that was
waving gracefully about in the wind, - I WISH you could talk!
- We CAN talk, - said the Tiger-lily: - when there's anybody worth
talking to.
Alice was so astonished that she could not speak for a minute: it
quite seemed to take her breath away. At length, as the Tiger-lily only
went on waving about, she spoke again, in a timid voice almost in a
whisper. - And can ALL the flowers talk?
- As well as YOU can, - said the Tiger-lily. - And a great deal
louder.
- It isn't manners for us to begin, you know, - said the Rose, - and
I really was wondering when you'd speak! Said I to myself, "Her face has
got SOME sense in it, thought it's not a clever one!" Still, you're the
right colour, and that goes a long way.
- I don't care about the colour, - the Tiger-lily remarked. - If only
her petals curled up a little more, she'd be all right.
Alice didn't like being criticised, so she began asking questions. -
Aren't you sometimes frightened at being planted out here, with nobody to
take care of you?
- There's the tree in the middle, - said the Rose: - what else is it
good for?
- But what could it do, if any danger came? - Alice asked.
- It says "Bough-wough!" cried a Daisy: - that's why its branches are
called boughs!
- Didn't you know THAT? - cried another Daisy, and here they all
began shouting together, till the air seemed quite full of little shrill
voices. - Silence, every one of you! - cried the Tigerlily, waving itself
passionately from side to side, and trembling with excitement. - They know
I can't get at them! - it panted, bending its quivering head towards
Alice, - or they wouldn't dare to do it!
- Never mind! - Alice said in a soothing tone, and stooping down to
the daisies, who were just beginning again, she whispered, - If you don't
hold your tongues, I'll pick you!
There was silence in a moment, and several of the pink daisies turned
white.
- That's right! - said the Tiger-lily. - The daisies are worst of
all. When one speaks, they all begin together, and it's enough to make one
wither to hear the way they go on!
- How is it you can all talk so nicely? - Alice said, hoping to get
it into a better temper by a compliment. - I've been in many gardens
before, but none of the flowers could talk.
- Put your hand down, and feel the ground, - said the Tiger-lily. -
Then you'll know why.
Alice did so. - It's very hard, - she said, - but I don't see what
that has to do with it.
- In most gardens, - the Tiger-lily said, - they make the beds too
soft - so that the flowers are always asleep.
This sounded a very good reason, and Alice was quite pleased to know
it. - I never thought of that before! - she said.
- It's MY opinion that you never think AT ALL, - the Rose said in a
rather severe tone.
- I never say anybody that looked stupider, - a Violet said, so
suddenly, that Alice quite jumped; for it hadn't spoken before.
- Hold YOUR tongue! - cried the Tiger-lily. - As if YOU ever saw
anybody! You keep your head under the leaves, and snore away there, till
you know no more what's going on in the world, that if you were a bud!
- Are there any more people in the garden besides me? - Alice said,
not choosing to notice the Rose's last remark.
- There's one other flower in the garden that can move about like
you, - said the Rose. - I wonder how you do it - ( - You're always
wondering, - said the Tiger-lily), - but she's more bushy than you are.
- Is she like me? - Alice asked eagerly, for the thought crossed her
mind, - There's another little girl in the garden, somewhere!
- Well, she has the same awkward shape as you, - the Rose said, - but
she's redder - and her petals are shorter, I think.
- Her petals are done up close, almost like a dahlia, - the
Tiger-lily interrupted: - not tumbled about anyhow, like yours.
- But that's not YOUR fault, - the Rose added kindly: - you're
beginning to fade, you know - and then one can't help one's petals getting
a little untidy.
Alice didn't like this idea at all: so, to change the subject, she
asked - Does she ever come out here?
- I daresay you'll see her soon, - said the Rose. - She's one of the
thorny kind.
- Where does she wear the thorns? - Alice asked with some curiosity.
- Why all round her head, of course, - the Rose replied. - I was
wondering YOU hadn't got some too. I thought it was the regular rule.
- She's coming! - cried the Larkspur. - I hear her footstep, thump,
thump, thump, along the gravel-walk!
Alice looked round eagerly, and found that it was the Red Queen. -
She's grown a good deal! - was her first remark. She had indeed: when
Alice first found her in the ashes, she had been only three inches high -
and here she was, half a head taller than Alice herself!
- It's the fresh air that does it, - said the Rose: - wonderfully
fine air it is, out here.
"I think I'll go and meet her, - said Alice, for, though the flowers
were interesting enough, she felt that it would be far grander to have a
talk with a real Queen.
- You can't possibly do that, - said the Rose: - _I_ should advise
you to walk the other way.
This sounded nonsense to Alice, so she said nothing, but set off at
once towards the Red Queen. To her surprise, she lost sight of her in a
moment, and found herself walking in at the front-door again.
A little provoked, she drew back, and after looking everywhere for
the queen (whom she spied out at last, a long way off), she thought she
would try the plan, this time, of walking in the opposite direction.
It succeeded beautifully. She had not been walking a minute before
she found herself face to face with the Red Queen, and full in sight of
the hill she had been so long aiming at.
- Where do you come from? - said the Red Queen. - And where are you
going? Look up, speak nicely, and don't twiddle your fingers all the time.
Alice attended to all these directions, and explained, as well as she
could, that she had lost her way.
- I don't know what you mean by YOUR way, - said the Queen: - all the
ways about here belong to ME - but why did you come out here at all? - she
added in a kinder tone. - Curtsey while you - re thinking what to say, it
saves time.
Alice wondered a little at this, but she was too much in awe of the
Queen to disbelieve it. - I'll try it when I go home, - she thought to
herself. - the next time I'm a little late for dinner.
- It's time for you to answer now, - the Queen said, looking at her
watch: - open your mouth a LITTLE wider when you speak, and always say
"your Majesty."
- I only wanted to see what the garden was like, your Majesty
- That's right, - said the Queen, patting her on the head, which
Alice didn't like at all, - though, when you say "garden," - I'VE seen
gardens, compare with which this would be a wilderness.
Alice didn't dare to argue the point, but went on: - and I thought
I'd try and find my way to the top of that hill
- When you say "hill," - the Queen interrupted, - _I_ could show you
hills, in comparison with which you'd call that a valley.
- No, I shouldn't, - said Alice, surprised into contradicting her at
last: - a hill CAN'T be a valley, you know. That would be nonsense
The Red Queen shook her head, - You may call it "nonsense" if you
like, - she said, - but I'VE heard nonsense, compared with which that
would be as sensible as a dictionary!
Alice curtseyed again, as she was afraid from the Queen's tone that
she was a LITTLE offended: and they walked on in silence till they got to
the top of the little hill.
For some minutes Alice stood without speaking, looking out in all
directions over the country - and a most curious country it was. There
were a number of tiny little brooks running straight across it from side
to side, and the ground between was divided up into squares by a number of
little green hedges, that reached from brook to brook.
- I declare it's marked out just like a large chessboard! - Alice
said at last. - There ought to be some men moving about somewhere and so
there are! - She added in a tone of delight, and her heart began to beat
quick with excitement as she went on. - It's a great huge game of chess
that's being played - all over the world - if this IS the world at all,
you know. Oh, what fun it is! How I WISH I was one of them! I wouldn't
mind being a Pawn, if only I might join - though of course I should LIKE
to be a Queen, best.
She glanced rather shyly at the real Queen as she said this, but her
companion only smiled pleasantly, and said, - That's easily managed. You
can be the White Queen's Pawn, if you like, as Lily's too young to play;
and you're in the Second Square to began with: when you get to the Eighth
Square you'll be a Queen - Just at this moment, somehow or other, they
began to run.
Alice never could quite make out, in thinking it over afterwards, how
it was that they began: all she remembers is, that they were running hand
in hand, and the Queen went so fast that it was all she could do to keep
up with her: and still the Queen kept crying - Faster! Faster! - but Alice
felt she COULD NOT go faster, thought she had not breath left to say so.
The most curious part of the thing was, that the trees and the other
things round them never changed their places at all: however fast they
went, they never seemed to pass anything. - I wonder if all the things
move along with us? - thought poor puzzled Alice. And the Queen seemed to
guess her thoughts, for she cried, - Faster! Don't try to talk!
Not that Alice had any idea of doing THAT. She felt as if she would
never be able to talk again, she was getting so much out of breath: and
still the Queen cried - Faster! Faster! - and dragged her along. - Are we
nearly there? - Alice managed to pant out at last.
- Nearly there! - the Queen repeated. - Why, we passed it ten minutes
ago! Faster! And they ran on for a time in silence, with the wind
whistling in Alice's ears, and almost blowing her hair off her head, she
fancied.
- Now! Now! - cried the Queen. - Faster! Faster! - And they went so
fast that at last they seemed to skim through the air, hardly touching the
ground with their feet, till suddenly, just as Alice was getting quite
exhausted, they stopped, and she found herself sitting on the ground,
breathless and giddy.
The Queen propped her up against a tree, and said kindly, - You may
rest a little now.
Alice looked round her in great surprise. - Why, I do believe we've
been under this tree the whole time! Everything's just as it was!
- Of course it is, - said the Queen, - what would you have it?
- Well, in OUR country, - said Alice, still panting a little, - you'd
generally get to somewhere else - if you ran very fast for a long time, as
we've been doing.
- A slow sort of country! - said the Queen. - Now, HERE, you see, it
takes all the running YOU can do, to keep in the same place. If you want
to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!
- I'd rather not try, please! - said Alice. - I'm quite content to
stay here - only I AM so hot and thirsty!
- I know what YOU'D like! - the Queen said good-naturedly, taking a
little box out of her pocket. - Have a biscuit?
Alice thought it would not be civil to say - No, - though it wasn't
at all what she wanted. So she took it, and ate it as well as she could:
and it was VERY dry; and she thought she had never been so nearly choked
in all her life.
- While you're refreshing yourself, - said the Queen, - I'll just
take the measurements. - And she took a ribbon out of her pocket, marked
in inches, and began measuring the ground, and sticking little pegs in
here and there.
- At the end of two yards, - she said, putting in a peg to mark the
distance, - I shall give you your directions - have another biscuit?
- No, thank you, - said Alice,:** - one's QUITE enough!
- Thirst quenched, I hope? - said the Queen. Alice did not know what
to say to this, but luckily the Queen did not
wait for an answer, but went on. - At the end of THREE yards I shall
repeat them - for fear of your forgetting them. At then end of FOUR, I
shall say good-bye. And at then end of FIVE, I shall go!
She had got all the pegs put in by this time, and Alice looked on
with great interest as she returned to the tree, and then began slowly
walking down the row.
At the two-yard peg she faced round, and said, - A pawn goes two
squares in its first move, you know. So you'll go VERY quickly through the
Third Square - by railway, I should think - and you'll find yourself in
the Fourth Square in no time. Well, THAT square belongs to Tweedledum and
Tweedledee - the Fifth is mostly water the Sixth belongs to Humpty Dumpty
- But you make no remark?
- I - I didn't know I had to make one - just then, - Alice faltered
out.
- You SHOULD have said, - "It's extremely kind of you to tell me all
this" - however, we'll suppose it said - the Seventh Square is all forest
- however, one of the Knights will show you the way - and in the Eighth
Square we shall be Queens together, and it's all feasting and fun! - Alice
got up and curtseyed, and sat down again.
At the next peg the Queen turned again, and this time she said, -
Speak in French when you can't think of the English for a thing turn out
your toes as you walk - and remember who you are! - She did not wait for
Alice to curtsey this time, but walked on quickly to the next peg, where
she turned for a moment to say - good-bye, - and then hurried on to the
last.
How it happened, Alice never knew, but exactly as she came to the
last peg, she was gone. Whether she vanished into the air, or whether she
ran quickly into the wood ( - and she CAN run very fast! - thought Alice),
there was no way of guessing, but she was gone, and Alice began to
remember that she was a Pawn, and that it would soon be time for her to
move.
Of course the first thing to do was to make a grand survey of the
country she was going to travel through. - It's something very like
learning geography, - thought Alice, as she stood on tiptoe in hopes of
being able to see a little further. - Principal rivers - there ARE none.
Principal mountains - I'm on the only one, but I don't think it's got any
name. Principal towns - why, what ARE those creatures, making honey down
there? They can't be bees - nobody ever saw bees a mile off, you know -
and for some time she stood silent, watching one of them that was bustling
about among the flowers, poking its proboscis into them, - just as if it
was a regular bee, - thought Alice.
However, this was anything but a regular bee: in fact it was an
elephant - as Alice soon found out, though the idea quite took her breath
away at first. - And what enormous flowers they must be! - was her next
idea. - Something like cottages with the roofs taken off, and stalks put
to them - and what quantities of honey they must make! I think I'll go
down and - no, I won't JUST yet, - she went on, checking herself just as
she was beginning to run down the hill, and trying to find some excuse for
turning shy so suddenly. - It'll never do to go down among them without a
good long branch to brush them away - and what fun it'll be when they ask
me how I like my walk. I shall say -"Oh, I like it well enough - " - (here
came the favourite little toss of the head), - "only it was so dusty and
hot, and the elephants did tease so!"
- I think I'll go down the other way, - she said after a pause: - and
perhaps I may visit the elephants later on. Besides, I do so want to get
into the Third Square!
So with this excuse she ran down the hill and jumped over the first
of the six little brooks.
* * * * * * *
* * * * * *
* * * * * * *
- Tickets, please! - said the Guard, putting his head in at the
window. In a moment everybody was holding out a ticket: they were about
the same size as the people, and quite seemed to fill the carriage.
- Now then! Show your ticket, child! - the Guard went on, looking
angrily at Alice. And a great many voices all said together ( - like the
chorus of a song, - thought Alice), - Don't keep him waiting, child! Why,
his time is worth a thousand pounds a minute!
- I'm afraid I haven't got one, - Alice said in a frightened tone: -
there wasn't a ticket-office where I came from." And again the chorus of
voices went on. - There wasn't room for one where she came from. The land
there is worth a thousand pounds an inch!
- Don't make excuses, - said the Guard: - you should have bought one
from the engine-driver. - And once more the chorus of voices went on with
- The man that drives the engine. Why, the smoke alone is worth a thousand
pounds a puff!
Alice thought to herself, - Then there's no use in speaking." The
voices didn't join in this time, as she hadn't spoken, but to her great
surprise, they all THOUGHT in chorus (I hope you understand what THINKING
IN CHORUS means - for I must confess that _I_ don't), - Better say nothing
at all. Language is worth a thousand pounds a word!
- I shall dream about a thousand pounds tonight, I know I shall!
thought Alice.
All this time the Guard was looking at her, first through a
telescope, then through a microscope, and then through an operaglass. At
last he said, - You're travelling the wrong way, - and shut up the window
and went away.
- So young a child, - said the gentleman sitting opposite to her (he
was dressed in white paper), - ought to know which way she's going, even
if she doesn't know her own name!
A Goat, that was sitting next to the gentleman in white, shut his
eyes and said in a loud voice, - She ought to know her way to the
ticket-office, even if she doesn't know her alphabet!
There was a Beetle sitting next to the Goat (it was a very queer
carriage-full of passengers altogether), and, as the rule seemed to be
that they should all speak in turn, HE went on with - She'll have to go
back from here as luggage!
Alice couldn't see who was sitting beyond the Beetle, but a hoarse
voice spoke next. - Change engines - it said, and was obliged to leave
off.
- It sounds like a horse, - Alice thought to herself. And an
extremely small voice, close to her ear, said, - You might make a joke on
that - something about "horse" and "hoarse," you know.
Then a very gentle voice in the distance said, - She must be labelled
"Lass, with care," you know
And after that other voices went on (What a number of people there
are in the carriage! - thought Alice), saying, - She must go by post, as
she's got a head on her - She must be sent as a message by the telegraph -
She must draw the train herself the rest of the way - and so on.
But the gentleman dressed in white paper leaned forwards and
whispered in her ear, - Never mind what they all say, my dear, but take a
return-ticket every time the train stops."
- Indeed I shan't! - Alice said rather impatiently. - I don't belong
to this railway journey at all - I was in a wood just now - and I wish I
could get back there.
- You might make a joke on THAT, said the little voice close to her
ear: - something about "you WOULD if you could," you know.
- Don't tease so, - said Alice, looking about in vain to see where
the voice came from; - if you're so anxious to have a joke made, why don't
you make one yourself?
The little voice sighed deeply: it was VERY unhappy, evidently, and
Alice would have said something pitying to comfort it, - If it would only
sigh like other people! - she thought. But this was such a wonderfully
small sigh, that she wouldn't have heard it at all, if it hadn't come
QUITE close to her ear. The consequence of this was that it tickled her
ear very much, and quite took off her thoughts from the unhappiness of the
poor little creature.
- I know you are a friend, the little voice went on; - a dear friend,
and an old friend. And you won't hurt me, though I AM an insect.
- What kind of insect? - Alice inquired a little anxiously. What she
really wanted to know was, whether it could sting or not, but she thought
this wouldn't be quite a civil question to ask.
- What, then you don't - the little voice began, when it was drowned
by a shrill scream from the engine, and everybody jumped up in alarm,
Alice among the rest.
The Horse, who had put his head out of the window, quietly drew it in
and said, - It's only a brook we have to jump over. - Everybody seemed
satisfied with this, though Alice felt a little nervous at the idea of
trains jumped at all. - However, it'll take us into the Fourth Square,
that's some comfort! - she said to herself. In another moment she felt the
carriage rise straight up into the air, and in her fright she caught at
the thing nearest to her hand. which happened to be the Goat's beard.
* * * * * * *
* * * * * *
* * * * * * *
But the beard seemed to melt away as she touched it, and she found
herself sitting quietly under a tree - while the Gnat (for that was the
insect she had been talking to) was balancing itself on a twig just over
her head, and fanning her with its wings.
It certainly was a VERY large Gnat: - about the size of a chicken,
Alice thought. Still, she couldn't feel nervous with it, after they had
been talking together so long.
- then you don't like all insects? - the Gnat went on, as quietly as
if nothing had happened.
- I like them when they can talk, - Alice said. - None of them ever
talk, where _I_ come from.
- What sort of insects do you rejoice in, where YOU come from? - the
Gnat inquired.
- I don't REJOICE in insects at all, - Alice explained, - because I'm
rather afraid of them - at least the large kinds. But I can tell you the
names of some of them."
- Of course they answer to their names? - the Gnat remarked
carelessly.
- I never knew them do it.
- What's the use of their having names the Gnat said, - if they won't
answer to them?
- No use to THEM, - said Alice; - but it's useful to the people who
name them, I suppose. If not, why do things have names at all?
- I can't say, - the Gnat replied. - Further on, in the wood down
there, they've got no names - however, go on with your list of insects:
you're wasting time.
- Well, there's the Horse-fly, - Alice began, counting off the names
on her fingers.
- All right, - said the Gnat: - half way up that bush, you'll see a
Rocking-horse-fly, if you look. It's made entirely of wood, and gets about
by swinging itself from branch to branch.
- What does it live on? - Alice asked, with great curiosity.
- Sap and sawdust, - said the Gnat. - Go on with the list. Alice
looked up at the Rocking-horse-fly with great interest, and
made up her mind that it must have been just repainted, it looked so
bright and sticky; and then she went on.
- And there's the Dragon-fly.
- Look on the branch above your head, - said the Gnat, - and there
you'll find a snap-dragon-fly. Its body is made of plum-pudding, its wings
of holly-leaves, and its head is a raisin burning in brandy.
- And what does it live on?
- Frumenty and mince pie, - the Gnat replied; - and it makes is nest
in a Christmas box.
- And then there's the Butterfly, - Alice went on, after she had
taken a good look at the insect with its head on fire, and had thought to
herself, - I wonder if that's the reason insects are so fond of flying
into candles - because they want to turn into Snap-dragon-flies!
- Crawling at your feet, - said the Gnat (Alice drew her feet back in
some alarm), - you may observe a Bread-and-Butterfly. Its wings are thin
slices of Bread-and-butter, its body is a crust, and its head is a lump of
sugar.
- And what does IT live on?
- Weak tea with cream in it. A new difficulty came into Alice's head.
- Supposing it couldn't find
any? - she suggested.
- Then it would die, of course.
- But that must happen very often, - Alice remarked thoughtfully.
- It always happens, - said the Gnat. After this, Alice was silent
for a minute or two, pondering. The Gnat
amused itself meanwhile by humming round and round her head: at last it
settled again and remarked, - I suppose you don't want to lose your name?
- No, indeed, - Alice said, a little anxiously.
- And yet I don't know, - the Gnat went on in a careless tone: - only
think how convenient it would be if you could manage to go home without
it! For instance, if the governess wanted to call you to your lessons, she
would call out "come here - ," and there she would have to leave off,
because there wouldn't be any name for her to all, and of course you