Страница:
Buybuy! I'm fly! Hear, pippy, under the limes. You know bigtree are all
against gravstone. They hisshistenency. Garnd ond mand ! So chip chirp
chirrup, cigolo, for the lug of Migo! The little passdoor, I go you before,
so, and you're at my apron stage. Shy is him, dovey? Musforget there's an
audience. I have been lost, angel. Cuddle, ye divil ye! It's our
toot-a-toot. Hearhere! Sensation! Let them, their whole four courtships! Let
them, Bigbawl and his boosers' eleven makes twelve territorials. The Old
Sot's Hole that wants wide streets to commission their noisense in, at the
Mitchells v. Nicholls. Aves Selvae Acquae Valles! And my waiting twenty
classbirds, sitting on their stiles! Let me finger their eurhythmytic. And
you'll see if I'm selfthought. They're all of them out to please. Wait! In
the name of. And all the holly. And some the mistle and it Saint Yves.
Hoost! Ahem! There's Ada, Bett, Celia, Delia, Ena, Fretta, Gilda, Hilda,
Ita, Jess, Katty, Lou, (they make me cough as sure as I read them) Mina,
Nippa, Opsy, Poll, Queeniee, Ruth, Saucy, Trix, Una, Vela, Wanda, Xenia,
Yva, Zulma, Phoebe, Thelma. And Mee! The reformatory boys is goaling in for
the church so we've all comefeast like the groupsuppers and caught
lipsolution from Anty Pravidance under penancies for myrtle sins. When their
bride was married all my belles began ti ting. A ring a ring a rosaring!
Then everyone will hear of it. Whoses wishes is the farther to my thoughts.
But I'll plant them a poser for their nomanclatter. When they're out with
the daynurse doing Chaperon Mall. Bright pigeons all over the whirrld will
fly with my mistletoe message round their loveribboned necks and d crumb of
my cake for each chasta dieva. We keeps all and sundry papers. In th'
amourlight, O my darling! No, I swear to you by Fibsburrow churchdome and
Sainte Andr e's Undershift, by all I hold secret from my world and in my
underworld of nighties and naughties and all the other wonderwearlds! Close
your, notmust look! Now open, pet, your lips, pepette, like I used my sweet
parted lipsabuss with Dan Holohan of facetious memory taught me after the
flannel dance, with the proof of love, up Smock Alley the first night he
smelled pouder and I coloured beneath my fan, pipetta mia, when you learned
me the linguo to melt. Whowham would have ears like ours, the blackhaired!
Do you like that, silenzioso? Are you enjoying, this same little me, my
life, my love? Why do you like my whisping? Is it not divinely deluscious?
But in't it bafforyou? Misi misi! Tell me till my thrillme comes! I will not
break the seal. I am enjoying it still, I swear I am! Why do you prefer its
in these dark nets, if why may ask, my sweetykins? Sh sh! Longears is
flying. No, sweetissest, why would that ennoy me? But don't! You want to be
slap well slapped for that. Your delighted lips, love, be careful! Mind my
duvetyne dress above all! It's golded silvy, the newest sextones with
princess effect. For Rutland blue's got out of passion. So, so, my precious
! O, I can see the cost, chare! Don't tell me! Why, the boy in sheeps' lane
knows that. If I sell whose, dears? Was I sold here' tears? You mean those
conversation lozenges? How awful! The bold shame of me ! I wouldn't,
chickens, not for all the juliettes in the twinkly way! I could snap them
when I see them winking at me in bed. I didn't did so, my intended, or was
going to or thinking of. Shshsh! Don't start like that, you wretch! I
thought ye knew all and more, ye aucthor, to explique to ones the significat
of their exsystems with your nieu nivulon lead. It's only another queer fish
or other in Brinbrou's damned old trouchorous river again, Gothewishegoths
bless us and spare her! And gibos rest from the bosso ! Excuse me for
swearing, love, I swear to the sorrasims on their trons of Uian I didn't
mean to by this alpin armlet! Did you really never in all our cantalang
lives speak clothse to a girl's before? No! Not even to the charmermaid? How
marfellows! Of course I believe you, my own dear doting liest, when you tell
me. As I'd live to, O, I'd love to! Liss, liss! I muss whiss! Never that
ever or I can remember dearstreaming faces, you may go through me! Never in
all my whole white life of my matchless and pair. Or ever for bitter be the
frucht of this hour! With my whiteness I thee woo and bind my silk breasths
I thee bound! Always, Amory, amor andmore! Till always, thou lovest!
Shshshsh! So long as the lucksmith. Laughs!
II. If you met on the binge a poor acheseyeld from Ailing, when the
tune of his tremble shook shimmy on shin, while his countrary raged in the
weak of his wailing, like a rugilant pugilant Lyon O'Lynn; if he maundered
in misliness, plaining his plight or, played fox and lice, pricking and
dropping hips teeth, or wringing his handcuffs for peace, the blind
blighter, praying Dieuf and Domb Nostrums foh thomethinks to eath; if he
weapt while he leapt and guffalled quith a quhimper, made cold blood a blue
mundy and no bones without flech, taking kiss, kake or kick with a suck,
sigh or simper, a diffle to larn and a dibble to lech; if the fain shinner
pegged you to shave his immartial, wee skillmustered shoul with his ooh,
hoodoodoo ! broking wind that to wiles, woemaid sin he was partial, we don't
think, Jones, we'd care to this evening, would you?
Answer: No, blank ye! So you think I have impulsivism? Did they tell
you I am one of the fortysixths? And I suppose you heard I had a wag on my
ears? And I suppose they told you too that my roll of life is not natural?
But before proceeding to conclusively confute this begging question it would
be far fitter for you, if you dare! to hasitate to consult with and
consequentially attempt at my disposale of the same dime-cash problem
elsewhere naturalistically of course, from the blinkpoint of so eminent a
spatialist. From it you will here notice, Schott, upon my for the first
remarking you that the sophology of Bitchson while driven as under by a
purely dime-dime urge is not without his cashcash characktericksticks,
borrowed for its nonce ends from the fiery goodmother Miss Fortune (who the
lost time we had the pleasure we have had our little recherch brush with,
what, Schott?) and as I further could have told you as brisk as your D.B.C.
behaviouristically paillet with a coat of homoid icing which is in reality
only a done by chance ridiculisation of the whoo-whoo and where's hairs
theorics of Winestain. To put it all the more plumbsily. The speechform is a
mere sorrogate. Whilst the quality and tality (I shall explex what you ought
to mean by this with its proper when and where and why and how in the
subsequent sentence) are alternativomentally harrogate and arrogate, as the
gates may be.
Talis is a word often abused by many passims (I am working out a
quantum theory about it for it is really most tantumising state of affairs).
A pessim may frequent you to say: Have you been seeing much of Talis and
Talis those times? optimately meaning: Will you put up at hree of irish? Or
a ladyeater may perhaps have casualised as you temptoed her ... la sourdine:
Of your plates? Is Talis de Talis, the swordswallower, who is on at the
Craterium the same Talis von Talis, the penscrusher, no funk you ! who runs
his duly mile? Or this is a perhaps cleaner example. At a recent postvortex
piece infustigation of a determinised case of chronic spinosis an extension
lecturer on The Ague who out of matter of form was trying his seesers, Dr's
Het Ubeleeft, borrowed the question: Why's which Suchman's talis qualis? to
whom, as a fatter of macht, Dr Gedankje of Stoutgirth, who was wiping his
whistle, toarsely retoarted: While thou beast' one zoom of a whorl! (Talis
and Talis originally mean the same thing, hit it's: Qualis.)
Professor Loewy-Brueller (though as I shall promptly prove his whole
account of the Sennacherib as distinct from the Shalmanesir sanitational
reforms and of the Mr Skekels and Dr Hydes problem in the same connection
differs toto coelo from the fruit of my own investigations -- though the
reason I went to Jericho must remain for certain reasons a political secret
-- especially as I shall shortly be wanted in Cavantry, I congratulate
myself, for the same and other reasons -- as being again hopelessly vitiated
by what I have now resolved to call the dime and cash diamond fallacy) in
his talked off confession which recently met with such a leonine uproar on
its escape after its confinement Why am I not born like a Gentileman and why
am I now so speakable about my own eatables (Feigenbaumblatt and Father,
Judapest, 5688, A.M.) whole-heartedly takes off his gabbercoat and wig,
honest draughty fellow, in his public interest, to make us see how though,
as he says: 'by Allswill' the inception and the descent and the endswell of
Man is temporarily wrapped in obscenity, looking through at these accidents
with the faroscope of television, (this nightlife instrument needs still
some subtractional betterment in the readjustment of the more refrangible
angles to the squeals of his hypothesis on the outer tin sides), I can
easily believe heartily in my own most spacious immensity as my ownhouse and
microbemost cosm when I am reassured by ratio that the cube of my volumes is
to the surfaces of their subjects as the sphericity of these globes (I am
very pressing for a parliamentary motion this term which, under my guidance,
would establish the deleteriousness of decorousness in the morbidisation of
the modern mandaboutwoman type) is to the feracity of Fairynelly's vacuum. I
need not anthrapologise for any obintentional (I must here correct all that
school of neoitalian or paleoparisien schola of tinkers and spanglers who
say I'm wrong parcequeue out of revolscian from romanitis I want to be)
downtrodding on my foes. Professor Levi-Brullo, F.D. of SexeWeiman-Eitelnaky
finds, from experiments made by hinn with his Nuremberg eggs in the one
hands and the watches cunldron apan the oven, though it is astensably a case
of Ket's rebollions cooling the Popes back, because the number of squeer
faiths in weekly circulation will not be appreciably augmented by the
notherslogging of my cupolar clods. What the romantic in rags pines after
like all tomtompions haunting crevices for a deadbeat escupement and what
het importunes our Mitleid for in accornish with the Mortadarthella
taradition is the poorest commononguardiant waste of time. His everpresent
toes are always in retaliessian out throuth his overpast boots. Hear him
squak! Teek heet to that looswallawer how he bolo the bat! Tyro a toray!
When Mullocky won the couple of colds, when we were stripping in number
three, I would like the neat drop that would malt in my mouth but I fail to
see when (I am purposely refraining from expounding the obvious fallacy as
to the specific gravitates of the two deglutables implied nor to the lapses
lequou asousiated with the royal gorge through students of mixed
hydrostatics and pneumodipsics will after some difficulties grapple away
with my meinungs). Myrrdin aloer! as old Marsellas Cambriannus puts his.
But, on Professor Llewellys ap Bryllars, F.D., Ph. Dr's showings, the plea,
if he pleads, is all posh and robbage on a melodeontic scale since his man's
when is no otherman's quandour (Mine, dank you?) while,-- for aught I care
for the contrary, the all is where in love as war and the plane where me
arts soar you'd aisy rouse a thunder from and where I cling true'tis there I
climb tree and where Innocent looks best (pick!) there's holly in his ives.
As my explanations here are probably above your understandings,
lattlebrattons, though as augmentatively uncomparisoned as Cadwan, Cadwallon
and Cadwalloner, I shall revert to a more expletive method which I
frequently use when I have to sermo with muddlecrass pupils. Imagine for my
purpose that you are a squad of urchins, snifflynosed, goslingnecked,
clothyheaded, tangled in your lacings, tingled in your pants, etsitaraw
etcicero. And you, Bruno Nowlan, take your tongue out of your inkpot! As
none of you knows javanese I will give all my easyfree translation of the
old fabulist's parable. Allaboy Minor, take your head out of your satchel!
Audi, Joe Peters! Exaudi facts !
The Mookse and The Gripes.
Gentes and laitymen, fullstoppers and semicolonials, hybreds and
lubberds !
Eins within a space and a wearywide space it wast ere wohned a Mookse.
The onesomeness wast alltolonely, archunsitslike, broady oval, and a Mookse
he would a walking go (My hood! cries Antony Romeo),so one grandsumer
evening, after a great morning and his good supper of gammon and spittish,
having flabelled his eyes, pilleoled his nostrils, vacticanated his ears and
palliumed his throats, he put on his impermeable, seized his impugnable,
harped on his crown and stepped out of his immobile De Rure Albo (socolled
becauld it was chalkfull of masterplasters and had borgeously letout gardens
strown with cascadas, pintacostecas, horthoducts and currycombs) and set off
from Ludstown a spasso to see how badness was badness in the weirdest of all
pensible ways.
As he set off with his father's sword, his lancia spezzata, he was
girded on, and with that between his legs and his tarkeels, our once in only
Bragspear, he clanked, to my clinking, from veetoes to threetop, every inch
of an immortal.
He had not walked over a pentiadpair of parsecs from his azylium when
at the turning of the Shinshone Lanteran near Saint
Bowery's-without-his-Walls he came (secunding to the one one oneth of the
propecies, Amnis Limina Permanent) upon the most unconsciously boggylooking
stream he ever locked his eyes with. Out of the colliens it took a rise by
daubing itself Ninon. It looked little and it smelt of brown and it thought
in narrows and it talked showshallow. And as it rinn it dribbled like any
lively purliteasy: My, my, my! Me and me! Little down dream don't I love
thee!
And, I declare, what was there on the yonder bank of the stream that
would be a river, parched on a limb of the olum, bolt downright, but the
Gripes? And no doubt he was fit to be dried for why had he not been having
the juice of his times?
His pips had been neatly all drowned on him; his polps were charging
odours every older minute; he was quickly for getting the dresser's desdaign
on the flyleaf of his frons; and he was quietly for giving the bailiff's
distrain on to the bulkside of his cul de Pompe. In all his specious
heavings, as be lived by Optimus Maximus, the Mookse had never seen his
Dubville brooderon-low so nigh to a pickle.
Adrian (that was the Mookse now's assumptinome) stuccstill
phiz-...--phiz to the Gripes in an accessit of aurignacian. But Allmookse
must to Moodend much as Allrouts, austereways or wastersways, in roaming run
through Room. Hic sor a stone, singularly illud, and on hoc stone Seter satt
huc sate which it filled quite poposterously and by acclammitation to its
fullest justotoryum and whereopum with his unfallable encyclicling upom his
alloilable, diupetriark of the wouest, and the athemystsprinkled pederect he
always walked with, Deusdedit, cheek by jowel with his frisherman's blague?
Bellua Triumphanes, his everyway addedto wallat's collectium, for yea longer
he lieved yea broader he betaught of it, the fetter, the summe and the haul
it cost, he looked the first and last micahlike laicness of Quartus the
Fifth and Quintus the Sixth and Sixtus the Seventh giving allnight sitting
to Lio the Faultyfindth.
-- Good appetite us, sir Mookse ! How do you do it? cheeped the Gripes
in a wherry whiggy maudelenian woice and the jackasses all within bawl
laughed and brayed for his intentions for they knew their sly toad lowry
now. I am rarumominum blessed to see you, my dear mouster. Will you not
perhopes tell me everything if you are pleased, sanity? All about aulne and
lithial and allsall allinall about awn and liseias? Ney?
Think of it! O miserendissimest retempter! A Gripes!
-- Rats! bullowed the Mookse most telesphorously, the concionator, and
the sissymusses and the zozzymusses in their robenhauses quailed to hear his
tardeynois at all for you cannot wake a silken nouse out of a hoarse oar.
Blast yourself and your anathomy infairioriboos! No, hang you for an animal
rurale! I am superbly in my supremest poncif! Abase you, baldyqueens! Gather
behind me, satraps! Rots!
-- I am till infinity obliged with you, bowed the Gripes, his whine
having gone to his palpruy head. I am still always having a wish on all my
extremities. By the watch, what is the time, pace?
Figure it! The pining peever! To a Mookse!
-- Ask my index, mund my achilles, swell my obolum, woshup my nase
serene, answered the Mookse, rapidly by turning clement, urban, eugenious
and celestian in the formose of good grogory humours. Quote awhore? That is
quite about what I came on my missions with my intentions laudibiliter to
settle with you, barbarousse. Let thor be orlog. Let Pauline be Irene. Let
you be Beeton. And let me be Los Angeles. Now measure your length. Now
estimate my capacity. Well, sour? Is this space of our couple of hours too
dimensional for you, temporiser? Will you give you up? Como? Fuert it?
Sancta Patientia! You should have heard the voice that answered him !
Culla vosellina.
-- I was just thinkling upon that, swees Mooksey, but, for all the rime
on my raisins, if I connow make my submission, I cannos give you up, the
Gripes whimpered from nethermost of his wanhope.
Ishallassoboundbewilsothoutoosezit. My tumble, loudy bullocker, is my own.
My velicity is too fit in one stockend. And my spetial inexshellsis the
belowing things ab ove. But I will never be abler to tell Your Honoriousness
(here he near lost his limb) though my corked father was bott a
pseudowaiter, whose o'cloak you ware.
Incredible! Well, hear the inevitable.
-- Your temple, sus in cribro! Semperexcommunicambiambisumers.
Tugurios-in-Newrobe or Tukurias-in-Ashies. Novarome, my creature, blievend
bleives. My building space in lyonine city is always to let to leonlike Men,
the Mookse in a most consistorous allocution pompifically with immediate
jurisdiction constantinently concludded (what a crammer for the shapewrucked
Gripes!). And I regret to proclaim that it is out of my temporal to help you
from being killed by inchies, (what a thrust!), as we first met each other
newwhere so airly. (Poor little sowsieved subsquashed Gripes! I begin to
feel contemption for him!). My side,thank decretals, is as safe as
motherour's houses, he continued, and I can seen from my holeydome what it
is to be wholly sane. Unionjok and be joined to yok! Parysis, tu sais,
crucycrooks, belongs to him who parises himself. And there I must leave you
subject for the pressing. I can prove that against you, weight a momentum,
mein goot enemy! or Cospol's not our star. I bet you this dozen odd. This
foluminous dozen odd. Quas primas -- but 'tis bitter to compote my
knowledge's fructos of. Tomes.
Elevating, to give peint to his blick, his jewelled pederect to the
allmysty cielung, he luckystruck blueild out of a few shouldbe santillants,
a cloister of starabouts over Maples, a lucciolys in Teresa street and a
stopsign before Sophy Barratt's, he gaddered togodder the odds docence of
his vellumes, gresk, letton and russicruxian, onto the lapse of his prolegs,
into umfullth onescuppered, and sat about his widerproof He proved it well
whoonearth dry and drysick times, and vremiament, tu cesses, to the
extinction of Niklaus altogether (Niklaus Alopysius having been the once
Gripes's popwilled nimbum) by Neuclidius and Inexagoras and Mumfsen and
Thumpsem, by Orasmus and by Amenius, by Anacletus the Jew and by Malachy the
Augurer and by the Cappon's collection and after that, with Cheekee's
gelatine and Alldaybrandy's formolon, he reproved it ehrltogether when not
in that order sundering in some different order, alter three thirty and a
hundred times by the binomial dioram and the penic walls and the ind, the
Inklespill legends and the rure, the rule of the hoop and the blessons of
expedience and the jus, the jugicants of Pontius Pilax and all the
mummyscrips in Sick Bokes' Juncroom and the Chapters for the Cunning of the
Chapters of the Conning Fox by Tail.
While that Mooksius with preprocession and with proprecession,
duplicitly and diplussedly, was promulgating ipsofacts and sadcontras this
raskolly Gripos he had allbust seceded in monophysicking his
illsobordunates. But asawfulas he had caught his base semenoyous
sarchnaktiers to combuccinate upon the silipses of his aspillouts and the
acheporeoozers of his haggyown pneumax to synerethetise with the
breadchestviousness of his sweeatovular ducose sofarfully the loggerthuds of
his sakellaries were fond at variance with the synodals of his somepooliom
and his babskissed nepogreasymost got the hoof from his philioquus.
-- Efter thousand yaws, O Gripes con my sheepskins, yow will be belined
to the world, enscayed Mookse the pius.
-- Ofter thousand yores, amsered Gripes the gregary, be the goat of
MacHammud's, yours may be still, O Mookse, more botheared.
-- Us shall be chosen as the first of the last by the electress of Vale
Hollow, obselved the Mookse nobily, for par the unicum of Elelijiacks, Us am
in Our stabulary and that is what Ruby and Roby fall for, blissim.
The Pills, the Nasal Wash (Yardly's), the Army Man Cut, as british as
bondstrict and as straightcut as when that brokenarched traveller from
Nuzuland . . .
-- Wee, cumfused the Gripes limply, shall not even be the last of the
first, wee hope, when oust are visitated by the Veiled Horror. And, he
added: Mee are relying entirely, see the fortethurd of Elissabed, on the
weightiness of mear's breath. Puffut!
Unsightbared embouscher, relentless foe to social and business succes!
(Hourihaleine) It might have been a happy evening but . . .
And they viterberated each other, canis et coluber with the wildest
ever wielded since Tarriestinus lashed Pissasphaltium.
-- Unuchorn!
-- Ungulant!
-- Uvuloid !
-- Uskybeak!
And bullfolly answered volleyball.
Nuvoletta in her lightdress, spunn of sisteen shimmers, was looking
down on them, leaning over the bannistars and listening all she childishly
could. How she was brightened when Shouldrups in his glaubering hochskied
his welkinstuck and how she was overclused when Kneesknobs on his zwivvel
was makeacting such a paulse of himshelp! She was alone. All her nubied
companions were asleeping with the squirrels. Their mivver, Mrs Moonan, was
off in the Fuerst quarter scrubbing the backsteps of Number 28. Fuvver, that
Skand, he was up in Norwood's sokaparlour, eating oceans of Voking's
Blemish. Nuvoletta listened as she reflected herself, though the heavenly
one with his constellatria and his emanations stood between, and she tried
all she tried to make the Mookse look up at her (but he was fore too
adiaptotously farseeing) and to make the Gripes hear how coy she could be
(though he was much too schystimatically auricular about his ens to heed
her) but it was all mild's vapour moist. Not even her feignt reflection,
Nuvoluccia, could they toke their gnoses off for their minds with
intrepifide fate and bungless curiasity, were conclaved with Heliogobbleus
and Commodus and Enobarbarus and whatever the coordinal dickens they did as
their damprauch of papyrs and buchstubs said. As if that was their
spiration! As if theirs could duiparate her queendim! As if she would be
third perty to search on search proceedings! She tried all the winsome
wonsome ways her four winds had taught her. She tossed her
sfumastelliacinous hair like le princesse de la Petite Bretagne and she
rounded her mignons arms like Mrs Cornwallis-West and she smiled over
herself like the beauty of the image of the pose of the daughter of the
queen of the Emperour of Irelande and she sighed after herself as were she
born to bride with Tristis Tristior Tristissimus. But, sweet madonine, she
might fair as well have carried her daisy's worth to Florida. For the
Mookse, a dogmad Accanite, were not amoosed and the Gripes, a dubliboused
Catalick, wis pinefully obliviscent.
I see, she sighed. There are menner.
The siss of the whisp of the sigh of the softzing at the stir of the
ver grose O arundo of a long one in midias reeds: and shades began to
glidder along the banks, greepsing, greepsing, duusk unto duusk, and it was
as glooming as gloaming could be in the waste of all peacable worlds.
Metamnisia was allsoonome coloroform brune; citherior spiane an eaulande,
innemorous and unnumerose. The Mookse had a sound eyes right but he could
not all hear. The Gripes had light ears left yet he could but ill see. He
ceased. And he ceased, tung and trit, and it was neversoever so dusk of both
of them. But still Moo thought on the deeps of the undths he would
profoundth come the morrokse and still Gri feeled of the scripes he would
escipe if by grice he had luck enoupes.
Oh, how it was duusk! From Vallee Maraia to Grasyaplaina, dormimust
echo! Ah dew! Ah dew! It was so duusk that the tears of night began to fall,
first by ones and twos, then by threes and fours, at last by fives and sixes
of sevens, for the tired ones were wecking, as we weep now with them. O! O!
O! Par la pluie!
Then there came down to the thither bank a woman of no appearance (I
believe she was a Black with chills at her feet) and she gathered up his
hoariness the Mookse motamourfully where he was spread and carried him away
to her invisible dwelling, thats hights, Aquila Rapax, for he was the holy
sacred solem and poshup spit of her boshop's apron. So you see the Mookse he
had reason as I knew and you knew and he knew all along. And there came down
to the hither bank a woman to all important (though they say that she was
comely, spite the cold in her heed) and, for he was as like it as blow it to
a hawker's hank, she plucked down the Gripes, torn panicky autotone, in
angeu from his limb and cariad away its beotitubes with her to her unseen
shieling, it is, De Rore Coeli. And so the poor Gripes got wrong; for that
is always how a Gripes is, always was and always will.be. And it was never
so thoughtful of either of them. And there were left now an only elmtree and
but a stone. Polled with pietrous, Sierre but saule. O! Yes! And Nuvoletta,
a lass.
Then Nuvoletta reflected for the last time in her little long life and
she made up all her myriads of drifting minds in one. She cancelled all her
engauzements. She climbed over the bannistars; she gave a childy cloudy cry:
Nu e! Nu e! A lightdress fluttered. She was gone. And into the river that
had been a stream (for a thousand of tears had gone eon her and come on her
and she was stout and struck on dancing and her muddied name was
Missisliffi) there fell a tear, a singult tear, the loveliest of all tears
(I mean for those crylove fables fans who are 'keen' on the prettypretty
commonface sort of thing you meet by hopeharrods) for it was a leaptear. But
the river tripped on her by and by, lapping as though her heart was brook:
Why, why, why! Weh, O weh I'se so silly to be flowing but I no canna stay!
No applause, please! Bast! The romescot nattleshaker will go round your
circulation in diu dursus.
Allaboy, Major, I'll take your reactions in another place after themes.
Nolan Browne, you may now leave the classroom. Joe Peters, Fox.
As I have now successfully explained to you my own naturalborn rations
which are even in excise of my vaultybrain insure me that I am a mouth's
more deserving case by genius. I feel in symbathos for my ever devoted
friend and halfaloafonwashed, Gnaccus Gnoccovitch. Darling gem! Darling
smallfox! Horoseshoew! I could love that man like my own ambo for being so
baileycliaver though he's a nawful curillass and I must slav to
methodiousness. I want him to go and live like a theabild in charge of the
night brigade on Tristan da Cunha, isle of manoverboard, where he'll make
Number 106 and be near Inaccessible. (The meeting of mahoganies, be the
waves, rementious me that this exposed sight though it pines for an umbrella
of its own and needs a shelter belt of the true service sort to keep its
boles clean, -- the weeping beeches, Picea and Tillia, are in a wild state
about it -- ought to be classified, as Cricketbutt Willowm and his two
nurserymen advisers suggested, under genus Inexhaustible when we refloat
upon all the butternat, sweet gum and manna ash redcedera which is so
purvulent there as if there was howthorns in Curraghchasa which ought to
look as plane as a lodgepole to anybody until we are introduced to that
pinetacotta of Verney Rubeus where the deodarty is pinctured for us in a
pure stand, which we do not doubt ha has a habitat of doing, but without
those selfsownseedlings which are a species of proof that the largest
individual can occur at or in an olivetion such as East Conna Hillock where
it mixes with foolth accacians and common sallies and is tender) Vux
Populus, as we say in hickoryhockery and I wish we had some more glasses of
arbor vitae. Why roat by the roadside or awn over alum pot? Alderman
Whitebeaver is dakyo. He ought to go away for a change of ideas and he'd
have a world of things to look back on. Do,sweet Daniel! If I weren't a
jones in myself I'd elect myself to be his dolphin in the wildsbillow
because he is such a barefooted rubber with my supersocks pulled over his
face which I publicked in my bestback garden for the laetification of
siderodromites and to the irony of the stars. You will say it is most
unenglish and I shall hope to hear that you will not be wrong about it. But
I further, feeling a bit husky in my truths.
Will you please come over and let us mooremoore murgessly to each's
other down below our vices. I am underheerd by old billfaust. Wilsh is full
of curks. The coolskittle is philip deblinite. Mr Wist is thereover beyeind
the wantnot. Wilsh and wist are as thick of thins udder as faust on the
deblinite. Sgunoshooto estas preter la tapizo malgranda. Lilegas al si en
sia chambro. Kelkefoje funcktas, kelkefoje srumpas Shultroj. Houdian Kiel vi
fartas, mia nigra sinjoro? And from the poignt of fun where I am crying to
arrive you at they are on allfore as foibleminded as you can feel they are
fablebodied.
My heeders will recoil with a great leisure how at the outbreak before
trespassing on the space question where even michelangelines have fooled to
dread I proved to mindself as to your sotisfiction how his abject all
through (the quickquid of Professor Ciondolone's too frequently hypothecated
Bettlermensch) is nothing so much more than a mere cashdime however genteel
he may want ours, if we please (I am speaking to us in the second person),
for to this graded intellecktuals dime is cash and the cash system (you must
not be allowed to forget that this is all contained, I mean the system, in
the dogmarks of origen on spurios) means that I cannot now have or nothave a
piece of cheeps in your pocket at the same time and with the same manners as
you can now nothalf or half the cheek apiece I've in mind unless Burrus and
Caseous have not or not have seemaultaneously sysentangled themselves,
selldear to soldthere, once in the dairy days of buy and buy.
Burrus, let us like to imagine, is a genuine prime, the real choice,
full of natural greace, the mildest of milkstoffs yet unbeaten as a risicide
and, of course, obsoletely unadulterous whereat Caseous is obversely the
revise of him and in fact not an ideal choose by any meals, though the
betterman of the two is meltingly addicted to the more casual side of the
arrivaliste case and, let me say it at once, as zealous over him as is
passably he. The seemsame home and histry seeks and hidepence which we used
to be reading for our prepurgatory, hot, Schott? till Duddy shut the shopper
op and Mutti, poor Mutti! brought us our poor suppy, (ah who! eh how!) in
Acetius and Oleosus and Sellius Volatilis and Petrus Papricus! Our Old Party
quite united round the Slatbowel at Commons: Pfarrer Salamoss himself and
that sprog of a Pedersill and his Sprig of Thyme and a dozen of the
Murphybuds and a score and more of the hot young Capels and Lettucia in her
greensleeves and you too and me three, twinsome bibs but hansome ates, like
shakespill and eggs! But there's many a split pretext bowl and jowl; and
(snob screwing that cork, Schott!) to understand this as well as you can,
feeling how backward you are in your down-to-the-ground benches, I have
completed the following arrangement for the coarse use of stools and if I
don't make away with you I'm beyond Caesar outnullused
The older sisars (Tyrants, regicide is too good for you!) become
unbeurrable from age, (the compositor of the farce of dustiny however makes
a thunpledrum mistake by letting off this pienofarte effect as his furst act
as that is where the juke comes in) having been sort-of-nineknived and
chewly removed (this soldier -- author -- batman for all his commontoryism
is just another of those souftsiezed bubbles who never quite got the
sandhurst out of his eyes so that the champaign he draws for us is as flop
as a plankrieg) the twinfreer types are billed to make their reupprearance
as the knew kneck and knife knickknots on the deserted champ de bouteilles.
(A most cursery reading into the Persic-Uraliens hostery shows us how
Fonnumagula picked up that propper numen out of a colluction of prifixes
though to the permienting cannasure the Coucousien oafsprung of this sun of
a kuk is as sattin as there's a tub in Tobolosk) Ostiak della Vogul Marina!
But that I dannoy the fact of wanton to weste point I could paint you to
that butter (cheese it!) if you had some wash. Mordvealive! Oh me none
onsens! Why the case is as inessive and impossive as kezom hands! Their
interlocative is conprovocative just as every hazzy hates to having a
hazbane in her noze. Caseous may bethink himself a thought of a caviller but
Burrus has the reachly roundered head that goes best with thofthinking
defensive fideism. He has the lac of wisdom under every dent in his lofter
while the other follow's onni vesy milky indeedmymy. Laughing over the
linnuts and weeping off the uniun. He hisn't the hey og he lisn't the lug,
poohoo. And each night sim misses mand he winks he had the semagen. It was
aptly and corrigidly stated (and, it is royally needless for one ex ungue
Leonem to say by whom) that his seeingscraft was that clarety as were the
wholeborough of Poutresbourg to be averlaunched over him pitchbatch he could
still make out with his augstritch the green moat in Ireland's Eye. Let me
sell you the fulltroth of Burrus when he wore a younker. Here it is, and
chorming too, in six by sevens! A cleanly line, by the gods! A king off duty
and a jaw for ever! And what a cheery ripe outlook, good help me Deus v
Deus! If I were to speak my ohole mouthful to arinam about it you should
call me the ormuzd aliment in your midst of faime. Eat ye up, heat ye up!
sings the somun in the salm. Butyrum et mel comedet ut sciat reprobare malum
et eligere bonum. This, of course, also explains why we were taught to play
in the childhood: Der Haensli ist ern Butterbrot, mein Butterbrot! Und Koebi
iss dein Schtinkenkot! Ja! Ja! Ja!
This in fact, just to show you, is Caseous, the brutherscutch or puir
tyron: a hole or two, the highstinks aforefelt and anygo prigging wurms.
Cheesugh! you complain. And Hi Hi High must say you are not Hoa Hoa Hoally
in the wrong!
Thus we cannot escape our likes and mislikes, exiles or ambusheers,
beggar and neighbour and -- this is where the dimeshow advertisers advance
the temporal relief plea -- let us be tolerant of antipathies. Nex quovis
burro num fit mercaseus? I am not hereby giving my final endorsement to the
learned ignorants of the Cusanus philosophism in which old Nicholas pegs it
down that the smarter the spin of the top the sounder the span of the buttom
(what the worthy old auberginiste ought to have meant was: the more stolidly
immobile in space appears to me the bottom which is presented to use in time
by the top primomobilisk &c.). And I shall be misunderstord if understood to
give an unconditional sinequam to the heroicised furibouts of the Nolanus
theory, or, at any rate, of that substrate of apart from hissheory where the
Theophil swoors that on principial he was the pointing start of his odiose
by comparison and that whiles eggs will fall cheapened all over the walled
the Bure will be dear on the Brie.
Now, while I am not out now to be taken up as unintentionally
recommending the Silkebjorg tyrondynamon machine for the more economical
helixtrolysis of these amboadipates until I can find space to look into it
myself a little more closely first I shall go on with my decisions after
having shown to you in good time how both products of our social stomach
(the excellent Dr Burroman, I noticed by the way from his emended food
theory, has been carefully digesting the very wholesome criticism I helped
him to in my princeps edition which is all so munch to the cud) are
mutuearly polarised the incompatabilily of any delusional acting as
ambivalent to the fixation of his pivotism. Positing, as above, too males
pooles, the one the pictor of the other and the omber the Skotia of the one,
and looking wantingly around our undistributed middle between males we feel
we must waistfully woent a female to focus and on this stage there
pleasantly appears the cowrymaid M. whom we shall often meet below who
introduces herself upon us at some precise hour which we shall again agree
to call absolute zero or the babbling pumpt of platinism. And so like that
former son of a kish who went up and out to found his farmer's ashes we come
down home gently on our own turnedabout asses to meet Margareen.
We now romp through a period of pure lyricism of shamebred music
(technologically, let me say, the appetising entry of this subject on a fool
chest of vialds is plumply pudding the carp before doevre hors) evidenced by
such words in distress as I cream for thee, Sweet Margareen, and the more
hopeful O Margareena! O Margareena! Still in the bowl is left a lump of
gold! (Correspondents, by the way, will keep on asking me what is the
correct garnish to serve drisheens with. Tansy Sauce. Enough). The
pawnbreaking pathos of the first of these shoddy pieces reveals it as a
Caseous effort. Burrus's bit is often used for a toast. Criniculture can
tell us very precisely indeed how and why this particular streak of yellow
silver first appeared on (not in) the bowel, that is to see, the human head,
bald, black, bronze, brown, brindled, betteraved or blanchemanged where it
might be usefully compared with an earwig on a fullbottom. I am offering
this to Signorina Cuticura and I intend to take it up and bring it under the
nosetice of Herr Harlene by way of diverting his attentions. Of course the
unskilled singer continues to pervert our wiser ears by subordinating the
space-element, that is to sing, the aria, to the time-factor, which ought to
be killed, ill tempor. I should advise any unborn singer who may still be
among my heeders to forget her temporal diaphragm at home (the best thing
that could happen to it!) and attack the roulade with a swift colpo di
glottide to the lug (though Maace I will insist was reclined from overdoing
this, his recovery often being slow) and then, O ! on the third dead beat, O
! to cluse her eyes and aiopen her oath and see what spice I may send her.
How? Cease thee, cantatrickee! I fain would be solo. Arouse thee, my valour!
And save for e'er my true Bdur!
I shall have a word to say in a few yards about the acoustic and
orchidectural management of the tonehall but, as ours is a vivarious where
one plant's breaf is a lunger planner's byscent and you may not care for
argon, it will be very convenient for me for the emolument to pursue Burrus
and Caseous for a rung or two up their isocelating biangle. Every admirer
has seen my goulache of Marge (she is so like the sister, you don't know,
and they both dress A L I K E !) which I titled The Very Picture of a
Needlesswoman which in the presence ornates our national cruetstand. This
genre of portraiture of changes of mind in order to be truly torse should
evoke the bush soul of females so I am leaving it to the experienced victim
to complete the general suggestion by the mental addition of a wallopy bound
or, should the zulugical zealot prefer it, a congorool teal. The hatboxes
which composed Rhomba, lady Trabezond (Marge in her excelsis), also
comprised the climactogram up which B and C may fondly be imagined ascending
and are suggestive of gentlemen's spring modes, these modes carrying us back
to the superimposed claylayers of eocene and pleastoseen formation and the
gradual morphological changes in our body politic which Professor
Ebahi-Ahuri of Philadespoinis (Ill) -- whose bluebutterbust I have just
given his coupe de grass to -- neatly names a bo te ... surprises. The
boxes, if I may break the subject gently, are worth about fourpence pourbox
but I am inventing a more patent process, foolproof and pryperfect (I should
like to ask that Shedlock Homes person who is out for removing the roofs of
our criminal classics by what deductio ad domunum he hopes de tacto to
detect anything unless he happens of himself, movibile tectu, to have a
slade off) after which they can be reduced to a fragment of their true crust
by even the youngest of Margees if she will take plase to be seated and
smile if I please.
Now there can be no question about it either that I having done as
much, have quite got the size of that demilitery young female (we will
continue to call her Marge) whose types may be met with in any public
garden, wearing a very "dressy" affair, known as an "ethel" of instep length
and with a real fur, reduced to 3/9, and muffin cap to tone (they are
"angelskin" this fall), ostentatiously hemming apologetically over the
shirtness of some "sweet" garment, when she is not sitting on all the free
benches avidously reading about "it" but ovidently on the look out for "him"
or so "thrilled" about the best dressed dolly pram and beautiful elbow
competition or at the movies swallowing sobs and blowing bixed mixcuits over
"childe" chaplain's "latest" or on the verge of the gutter with some
bobbedhair brieffrocked babyma's toddler (the Smythe-Smythes now keep TWO
domestics and aspire to THREE male ones, a shover, a butlegger and a
sectary) held hostage at armslength, teaching His Infant Majesty how to make
waters worse.
(I am closely watching Master Pules, as I have regions to suspect from
my post that her "litde man" is a secondary schoolteacher under the boards
of education, a voted disciple of Infantulus who is being utilised thus
publicly by the seducente infanta to conceal her own more mascular
personality by flaunting frivolish finery over men's inside clothes, for the
femininny of that totamulier will always lack the musculink of a verumvirum.
My solotions for the proper parturience of matres and the education of
micturious mites must stand over from the moment till I tackle this tickler
hussy for occupying my uttentions.)
Margareena she's very fond of Burrus but, alick and alack! she velly
fond of chee. (The important influence exercised on everything by this
eastasian import has not been till now fully flavoured though we can
comfortably taste it in this case. I shall come back for a little more say
farther on.) A cleopatrician in her own right she at once complicates the
position while Burrus and Caseous are contending for her misstery by
implicating herself with an elusive Antonius, a wop who would appear to hug
a personal interest in refined chees of all chades at the same time as he
wags an antomine art of being rude like the boor. This
Antonius-Burrus-Caseous grouptriad may be said to equate the qualis
equivalent with the older socalled talis on talis one just as quantly as in
the hyperchemical economantarchy the tantum ergons irruminate the quantum
against gravstone. They hisshistenency. Garnd ond mand ! So chip chirp
chirrup, cigolo, for the lug of Migo! The little passdoor, I go you before,
so, and you're at my apron stage. Shy is him, dovey? Musforget there's an
audience. I have been lost, angel. Cuddle, ye divil ye! It's our
toot-a-toot. Hearhere! Sensation! Let them, their whole four courtships! Let
them, Bigbawl and his boosers' eleven makes twelve territorials. The Old
Sot's Hole that wants wide streets to commission their noisense in, at the
Mitchells v. Nicholls. Aves Selvae Acquae Valles! And my waiting twenty
classbirds, sitting on their stiles! Let me finger their eurhythmytic. And
you'll see if I'm selfthought. They're all of them out to please. Wait! In
the name of. And all the holly. And some the mistle and it Saint Yves.
Hoost! Ahem! There's Ada, Bett, Celia, Delia, Ena, Fretta, Gilda, Hilda,
Ita, Jess, Katty, Lou, (they make me cough as sure as I read them) Mina,
Nippa, Opsy, Poll, Queeniee, Ruth, Saucy, Trix, Una, Vela, Wanda, Xenia,
Yva, Zulma, Phoebe, Thelma. And Mee! The reformatory boys is goaling in for
the church so we've all comefeast like the groupsuppers and caught
lipsolution from Anty Pravidance under penancies for myrtle sins. When their
bride was married all my belles began ti ting. A ring a ring a rosaring!
Then everyone will hear of it. Whoses wishes is the farther to my thoughts.
But I'll plant them a poser for their nomanclatter. When they're out with
the daynurse doing Chaperon Mall. Bright pigeons all over the whirrld will
fly with my mistletoe message round their loveribboned necks and d crumb of
my cake for each chasta dieva. We keeps all and sundry papers. In th'
amourlight, O my darling! No, I swear to you by Fibsburrow churchdome and
Sainte Andr e's Undershift, by all I hold secret from my world and in my
underworld of nighties and naughties and all the other wonderwearlds! Close
your, notmust look! Now open, pet, your lips, pepette, like I used my sweet
parted lipsabuss with Dan Holohan of facetious memory taught me after the
flannel dance, with the proof of love, up Smock Alley the first night he
smelled pouder and I coloured beneath my fan, pipetta mia, when you learned
me the linguo to melt. Whowham would have ears like ours, the blackhaired!
Do you like that, silenzioso? Are you enjoying, this same little me, my
life, my love? Why do you like my whisping? Is it not divinely deluscious?
But in't it bafforyou? Misi misi! Tell me till my thrillme comes! I will not
break the seal. I am enjoying it still, I swear I am! Why do you prefer its
in these dark nets, if why may ask, my sweetykins? Sh sh! Longears is
flying. No, sweetissest, why would that ennoy me? But don't! You want to be
slap well slapped for that. Your delighted lips, love, be careful! Mind my
duvetyne dress above all! It's golded silvy, the newest sextones with
princess effect. For Rutland blue's got out of passion. So, so, my precious
! O, I can see the cost, chare! Don't tell me! Why, the boy in sheeps' lane
knows that. If I sell whose, dears? Was I sold here' tears? You mean those
conversation lozenges? How awful! The bold shame of me ! I wouldn't,
chickens, not for all the juliettes in the twinkly way! I could snap them
when I see them winking at me in bed. I didn't did so, my intended, or was
going to or thinking of. Shshsh! Don't start like that, you wretch! I
thought ye knew all and more, ye aucthor, to explique to ones the significat
of their exsystems with your nieu nivulon lead. It's only another queer fish
or other in Brinbrou's damned old trouchorous river again, Gothewishegoths
bless us and spare her! And gibos rest from the bosso ! Excuse me for
swearing, love, I swear to the sorrasims on their trons of Uian I didn't
mean to by this alpin armlet! Did you really never in all our cantalang
lives speak clothse to a girl's before? No! Not even to the charmermaid? How
marfellows! Of course I believe you, my own dear doting liest, when you tell
me. As I'd live to, O, I'd love to! Liss, liss! I muss whiss! Never that
ever or I can remember dearstreaming faces, you may go through me! Never in
all my whole white life of my matchless and pair. Or ever for bitter be the
frucht of this hour! With my whiteness I thee woo and bind my silk breasths
I thee bound! Always, Amory, amor andmore! Till always, thou lovest!
Shshshsh! So long as the lucksmith. Laughs!
II. If you met on the binge a poor acheseyeld from Ailing, when the
tune of his tremble shook shimmy on shin, while his countrary raged in the
weak of his wailing, like a rugilant pugilant Lyon O'Lynn; if he maundered
in misliness, plaining his plight or, played fox and lice, pricking and
dropping hips teeth, or wringing his handcuffs for peace, the blind
blighter, praying Dieuf and Domb Nostrums foh thomethinks to eath; if he
weapt while he leapt and guffalled quith a quhimper, made cold blood a blue
mundy and no bones without flech, taking kiss, kake or kick with a suck,
sigh or simper, a diffle to larn and a dibble to lech; if the fain shinner
pegged you to shave his immartial, wee skillmustered shoul with his ooh,
hoodoodoo ! broking wind that to wiles, woemaid sin he was partial, we don't
think, Jones, we'd care to this evening, would you?
Answer: No, blank ye! So you think I have impulsivism? Did they tell
you I am one of the fortysixths? And I suppose you heard I had a wag on my
ears? And I suppose they told you too that my roll of life is not natural?
But before proceeding to conclusively confute this begging question it would
be far fitter for you, if you dare! to hasitate to consult with and
consequentially attempt at my disposale of the same dime-cash problem
elsewhere naturalistically of course, from the blinkpoint of so eminent a
spatialist. From it you will here notice, Schott, upon my for the first
remarking you that the sophology of Bitchson while driven as under by a
purely dime-dime urge is not without his cashcash characktericksticks,
borrowed for its nonce ends from the fiery goodmother Miss Fortune (who the
lost time we had the pleasure we have had our little recherch brush with,
what, Schott?) and as I further could have told you as brisk as your D.B.C.
behaviouristically paillet with a coat of homoid icing which is in reality
only a done by chance ridiculisation of the whoo-whoo and where's hairs
theorics of Winestain. To put it all the more plumbsily. The speechform is a
mere sorrogate. Whilst the quality and tality (I shall explex what you ought
to mean by this with its proper when and where and why and how in the
subsequent sentence) are alternativomentally harrogate and arrogate, as the
gates may be.
Talis is a word often abused by many passims (I am working out a
quantum theory about it for it is really most tantumising state of affairs).
A pessim may frequent you to say: Have you been seeing much of Talis and
Talis those times? optimately meaning: Will you put up at hree of irish? Or
a ladyeater may perhaps have casualised as you temptoed her ... la sourdine:
Of your plates? Is Talis de Talis, the swordswallower, who is on at the
Craterium the same Talis von Talis, the penscrusher, no funk you ! who runs
his duly mile? Or this is a perhaps cleaner example. At a recent postvortex
piece infustigation of a determinised case of chronic spinosis an extension
lecturer on The Ague who out of matter of form was trying his seesers, Dr's
Het Ubeleeft, borrowed the question: Why's which Suchman's talis qualis? to
whom, as a fatter of macht, Dr Gedankje of Stoutgirth, who was wiping his
whistle, toarsely retoarted: While thou beast' one zoom of a whorl! (Talis
and Talis originally mean the same thing, hit it's: Qualis.)
Professor Loewy-Brueller (though as I shall promptly prove his whole
account of the Sennacherib as distinct from the Shalmanesir sanitational
reforms and of the Mr Skekels and Dr Hydes problem in the same connection
differs toto coelo from the fruit of my own investigations -- though the
reason I went to Jericho must remain for certain reasons a political secret
-- especially as I shall shortly be wanted in Cavantry, I congratulate
myself, for the same and other reasons -- as being again hopelessly vitiated
by what I have now resolved to call the dime and cash diamond fallacy) in
his talked off confession which recently met with such a leonine uproar on
its escape after its confinement Why am I not born like a Gentileman and why
am I now so speakable about my own eatables (Feigenbaumblatt and Father,
Judapest, 5688, A.M.) whole-heartedly takes off his gabbercoat and wig,
honest draughty fellow, in his public interest, to make us see how though,
as he says: 'by Allswill' the inception and the descent and the endswell of
Man is temporarily wrapped in obscenity, looking through at these accidents
with the faroscope of television, (this nightlife instrument needs still
some subtractional betterment in the readjustment of the more refrangible
angles to the squeals of his hypothesis on the outer tin sides), I can
easily believe heartily in my own most spacious immensity as my ownhouse and
microbemost cosm when I am reassured by ratio that the cube of my volumes is
to the surfaces of their subjects as the sphericity of these globes (I am
very pressing for a parliamentary motion this term which, under my guidance,
would establish the deleteriousness of decorousness in the morbidisation of
the modern mandaboutwoman type) is to the feracity of Fairynelly's vacuum. I
need not anthrapologise for any obintentional (I must here correct all that
school of neoitalian or paleoparisien schola of tinkers and spanglers who
say I'm wrong parcequeue out of revolscian from romanitis I want to be)
downtrodding on my foes. Professor Levi-Brullo, F.D. of SexeWeiman-Eitelnaky
finds, from experiments made by hinn with his Nuremberg eggs in the one
hands and the watches cunldron apan the oven, though it is astensably a case
of Ket's rebollions cooling the Popes back, because the number of squeer
faiths in weekly circulation will not be appreciably augmented by the
notherslogging of my cupolar clods. What the romantic in rags pines after
like all tomtompions haunting crevices for a deadbeat escupement and what
het importunes our Mitleid for in accornish with the Mortadarthella
taradition is the poorest commononguardiant waste of time. His everpresent
toes are always in retaliessian out throuth his overpast boots. Hear him
squak! Teek heet to that looswallawer how he bolo the bat! Tyro a toray!
When Mullocky won the couple of colds, when we were stripping in number
three, I would like the neat drop that would malt in my mouth but I fail to
see when (I am purposely refraining from expounding the obvious fallacy as
to the specific gravitates of the two deglutables implied nor to the lapses
lequou asousiated with the royal gorge through students of mixed
hydrostatics and pneumodipsics will after some difficulties grapple away
with my meinungs). Myrrdin aloer! as old Marsellas Cambriannus puts his.
But, on Professor Llewellys ap Bryllars, F.D., Ph. Dr's showings, the plea,
if he pleads, is all posh and robbage on a melodeontic scale since his man's
when is no otherman's quandour (Mine, dank you?) while,-- for aught I care
for the contrary, the all is where in love as war and the plane where me
arts soar you'd aisy rouse a thunder from and where I cling true'tis there I
climb tree and where Innocent looks best (pick!) there's holly in his ives.
As my explanations here are probably above your understandings,
lattlebrattons, though as augmentatively uncomparisoned as Cadwan, Cadwallon
and Cadwalloner, I shall revert to a more expletive method which I
frequently use when I have to sermo with muddlecrass pupils. Imagine for my
purpose that you are a squad of urchins, snifflynosed, goslingnecked,
clothyheaded, tangled in your lacings, tingled in your pants, etsitaraw
etcicero. And you, Bruno Nowlan, take your tongue out of your inkpot! As
none of you knows javanese I will give all my easyfree translation of the
old fabulist's parable. Allaboy Minor, take your head out of your satchel!
Audi, Joe Peters! Exaudi facts !
The Mookse and The Gripes.
Gentes and laitymen, fullstoppers and semicolonials, hybreds and
lubberds !
Eins within a space and a wearywide space it wast ere wohned a Mookse.
The onesomeness wast alltolonely, archunsitslike, broady oval, and a Mookse
he would a walking go (My hood! cries Antony Romeo),so one grandsumer
evening, after a great morning and his good supper of gammon and spittish,
having flabelled his eyes, pilleoled his nostrils, vacticanated his ears and
palliumed his throats, he put on his impermeable, seized his impugnable,
harped on his crown and stepped out of his immobile De Rure Albo (socolled
becauld it was chalkfull of masterplasters and had borgeously letout gardens
strown with cascadas, pintacostecas, horthoducts and currycombs) and set off
from Ludstown a spasso to see how badness was badness in the weirdest of all
pensible ways.
As he set off with his father's sword, his lancia spezzata, he was
girded on, and with that between his legs and his tarkeels, our once in only
Bragspear, he clanked, to my clinking, from veetoes to threetop, every inch
of an immortal.
He had not walked over a pentiadpair of parsecs from his azylium when
at the turning of the Shinshone Lanteran near Saint
Bowery's-without-his-Walls he came (secunding to the one one oneth of the
propecies, Amnis Limina Permanent) upon the most unconsciously boggylooking
stream he ever locked his eyes with. Out of the colliens it took a rise by
daubing itself Ninon. It looked little and it smelt of brown and it thought
in narrows and it talked showshallow. And as it rinn it dribbled like any
lively purliteasy: My, my, my! Me and me! Little down dream don't I love
thee!
And, I declare, what was there on the yonder bank of the stream that
would be a river, parched on a limb of the olum, bolt downright, but the
Gripes? And no doubt he was fit to be dried for why had he not been having
the juice of his times?
His pips had been neatly all drowned on him; his polps were charging
odours every older minute; he was quickly for getting the dresser's desdaign
on the flyleaf of his frons; and he was quietly for giving the bailiff's
distrain on to the bulkside of his cul de Pompe. In all his specious
heavings, as be lived by Optimus Maximus, the Mookse had never seen his
Dubville brooderon-low so nigh to a pickle.
Adrian (that was the Mookse now's assumptinome) stuccstill
phiz-...--phiz to the Gripes in an accessit of aurignacian. But Allmookse
must to Moodend much as Allrouts, austereways or wastersways, in roaming run
through Room. Hic sor a stone, singularly illud, and on hoc stone Seter satt
huc sate which it filled quite poposterously and by acclammitation to its
fullest justotoryum and whereopum with his unfallable encyclicling upom his
alloilable, diupetriark of the wouest, and the athemystsprinkled pederect he
always walked with, Deusdedit, cheek by jowel with his frisherman's blague?
Bellua Triumphanes, his everyway addedto wallat's collectium, for yea longer
he lieved yea broader he betaught of it, the fetter, the summe and the haul
it cost, he looked the first and last micahlike laicness of Quartus the
Fifth and Quintus the Sixth and Sixtus the Seventh giving allnight sitting
to Lio the Faultyfindth.
-- Good appetite us, sir Mookse ! How do you do it? cheeped the Gripes
in a wherry whiggy maudelenian woice and the jackasses all within bawl
laughed and brayed for his intentions for they knew their sly toad lowry
now. I am rarumominum blessed to see you, my dear mouster. Will you not
perhopes tell me everything if you are pleased, sanity? All about aulne and
lithial and allsall allinall about awn and liseias? Ney?
Think of it! O miserendissimest retempter! A Gripes!
-- Rats! bullowed the Mookse most telesphorously, the concionator, and
the sissymusses and the zozzymusses in their robenhauses quailed to hear his
tardeynois at all for you cannot wake a silken nouse out of a hoarse oar.
Blast yourself and your anathomy infairioriboos! No, hang you for an animal
rurale! I am superbly in my supremest poncif! Abase you, baldyqueens! Gather
behind me, satraps! Rots!
-- I am till infinity obliged with you, bowed the Gripes, his whine
having gone to his palpruy head. I am still always having a wish on all my
extremities. By the watch, what is the time, pace?
Figure it! The pining peever! To a Mookse!
-- Ask my index, mund my achilles, swell my obolum, woshup my nase
serene, answered the Mookse, rapidly by turning clement, urban, eugenious
and celestian in the formose of good grogory humours. Quote awhore? That is
quite about what I came on my missions with my intentions laudibiliter to
settle with you, barbarousse. Let thor be orlog. Let Pauline be Irene. Let
you be Beeton. And let me be Los Angeles. Now measure your length. Now
estimate my capacity. Well, sour? Is this space of our couple of hours too
dimensional for you, temporiser? Will you give you up? Como? Fuert it?
Sancta Patientia! You should have heard the voice that answered him !
Culla vosellina.
-- I was just thinkling upon that, swees Mooksey, but, for all the rime
on my raisins, if I connow make my submission, I cannos give you up, the
Gripes whimpered from nethermost of his wanhope.
Ishallassoboundbewilsothoutoosezit. My tumble, loudy bullocker, is my own.
My velicity is too fit in one stockend. And my spetial inexshellsis the
belowing things ab ove. But I will never be abler to tell Your Honoriousness
(here he near lost his limb) though my corked father was bott a
pseudowaiter, whose o'cloak you ware.
Incredible! Well, hear the inevitable.
-- Your temple, sus in cribro! Semperexcommunicambiambisumers.
Tugurios-in-Newrobe or Tukurias-in-Ashies. Novarome, my creature, blievend
bleives. My building space in lyonine city is always to let to leonlike Men,
the Mookse in a most consistorous allocution pompifically with immediate
jurisdiction constantinently concludded (what a crammer for the shapewrucked
Gripes!). And I regret to proclaim that it is out of my temporal to help you
from being killed by inchies, (what a thrust!), as we first met each other
newwhere so airly. (Poor little sowsieved subsquashed Gripes! I begin to
feel contemption for him!). My side,thank decretals, is as safe as
motherour's houses, he continued, and I can seen from my holeydome what it
is to be wholly sane. Unionjok and be joined to yok! Parysis, tu sais,
crucycrooks, belongs to him who parises himself. And there I must leave you
subject for the pressing. I can prove that against you, weight a momentum,
mein goot enemy! or Cospol's not our star. I bet you this dozen odd. This
foluminous dozen odd. Quas primas -- but 'tis bitter to compote my
knowledge's fructos of. Tomes.
Elevating, to give peint to his blick, his jewelled pederect to the
allmysty cielung, he luckystruck blueild out of a few shouldbe santillants,
a cloister of starabouts over Maples, a lucciolys in Teresa street and a
stopsign before Sophy Barratt's, he gaddered togodder the odds docence of
his vellumes, gresk, letton and russicruxian, onto the lapse of his prolegs,
into umfullth onescuppered, and sat about his widerproof He proved it well
whoonearth dry and drysick times, and vremiament, tu cesses, to the
extinction of Niklaus altogether (Niklaus Alopysius having been the once
Gripes's popwilled nimbum) by Neuclidius and Inexagoras and Mumfsen and
Thumpsem, by Orasmus and by Amenius, by Anacletus the Jew and by Malachy the
Augurer and by the Cappon's collection and after that, with Cheekee's
gelatine and Alldaybrandy's formolon, he reproved it ehrltogether when not
in that order sundering in some different order, alter three thirty and a
hundred times by the binomial dioram and the penic walls and the ind, the
Inklespill legends and the rure, the rule of the hoop and the blessons of
expedience and the jus, the jugicants of Pontius Pilax and all the
mummyscrips in Sick Bokes' Juncroom and the Chapters for the Cunning of the
Chapters of the Conning Fox by Tail.
While that Mooksius with preprocession and with proprecession,
duplicitly and diplussedly, was promulgating ipsofacts and sadcontras this
raskolly Gripos he had allbust seceded in monophysicking his
illsobordunates. But asawfulas he had caught his base semenoyous
sarchnaktiers to combuccinate upon the silipses of his aspillouts and the
acheporeoozers of his haggyown pneumax to synerethetise with the
breadchestviousness of his sweeatovular ducose sofarfully the loggerthuds of
his sakellaries were fond at variance with the synodals of his somepooliom
and his babskissed nepogreasymost got the hoof from his philioquus.
-- Efter thousand yaws, O Gripes con my sheepskins, yow will be belined
to the world, enscayed Mookse the pius.
-- Ofter thousand yores, amsered Gripes the gregary, be the goat of
MacHammud's, yours may be still, O Mookse, more botheared.
-- Us shall be chosen as the first of the last by the electress of Vale
Hollow, obselved the Mookse nobily, for par the unicum of Elelijiacks, Us am
in Our stabulary and that is what Ruby and Roby fall for, blissim.
The Pills, the Nasal Wash (Yardly's), the Army Man Cut, as british as
bondstrict and as straightcut as when that brokenarched traveller from
Nuzuland . . .
-- Wee, cumfused the Gripes limply, shall not even be the last of the
first, wee hope, when oust are visitated by the Veiled Horror. And, he
added: Mee are relying entirely, see the fortethurd of Elissabed, on the
weightiness of mear's breath. Puffut!
Unsightbared embouscher, relentless foe to social and business succes!
(Hourihaleine) It might have been a happy evening but . . .
And they viterberated each other, canis et coluber with the wildest
ever wielded since Tarriestinus lashed Pissasphaltium.
-- Unuchorn!
-- Ungulant!
-- Uvuloid !
-- Uskybeak!
And bullfolly answered volleyball.
Nuvoletta in her lightdress, spunn of sisteen shimmers, was looking
down on them, leaning over the bannistars and listening all she childishly
could. How she was brightened when Shouldrups in his glaubering hochskied
his welkinstuck and how she was overclused when Kneesknobs on his zwivvel
was makeacting such a paulse of himshelp! She was alone. All her nubied
companions were asleeping with the squirrels. Their mivver, Mrs Moonan, was
off in the Fuerst quarter scrubbing the backsteps of Number 28. Fuvver, that
Skand, he was up in Norwood's sokaparlour, eating oceans of Voking's
Blemish. Nuvoletta listened as she reflected herself, though the heavenly
one with his constellatria and his emanations stood between, and she tried
all she tried to make the Mookse look up at her (but he was fore too
adiaptotously farseeing) and to make the Gripes hear how coy she could be
(though he was much too schystimatically auricular about his ens to heed
her) but it was all mild's vapour moist. Not even her feignt reflection,
Nuvoluccia, could they toke their gnoses off for their minds with
intrepifide fate and bungless curiasity, were conclaved with Heliogobbleus
and Commodus and Enobarbarus and whatever the coordinal dickens they did as
their damprauch of papyrs and buchstubs said. As if that was their
spiration! As if theirs could duiparate her queendim! As if she would be
third perty to search on search proceedings! She tried all the winsome
wonsome ways her four winds had taught her. She tossed her
sfumastelliacinous hair like le princesse de la Petite Bretagne and she
rounded her mignons arms like Mrs Cornwallis-West and she smiled over
herself like the beauty of the image of the pose of the daughter of the
queen of the Emperour of Irelande and she sighed after herself as were she
born to bride with Tristis Tristior Tristissimus. But, sweet madonine, she
might fair as well have carried her daisy's worth to Florida. For the
Mookse, a dogmad Accanite, were not amoosed and the Gripes, a dubliboused
Catalick, wis pinefully obliviscent.
I see, she sighed. There are menner.
The siss of the whisp of the sigh of the softzing at the stir of the
ver grose O arundo of a long one in midias reeds: and shades began to
glidder along the banks, greepsing, greepsing, duusk unto duusk, and it was
as glooming as gloaming could be in the waste of all peacable worlds.
Metamnisia was allsoonome coloroform brune; citherior spiane an eaulande,
innemorous and unnumerose. The Mookse had a sound eyes right but he could
not all hear. The Gripes had light ears left yet he could but ill see. He
ceased. And he ceased, tung and trit, and it was neversoever so dusk of both
of them. But still Moo thought on the deeps of the undths he would
profoundth come the morrokse and still Gri feeled of the scripes he would
escipe if by grice he had luck enoupes.
Oh, how it was duusk! From Vallee Maraia to Grasyaplaina, dormimust
echo! Ah dew! Ah dew! It was so duusk that the tears of night began to fall,
first by ones and twos, then by threes and fours, at last by fives and sixes
of sevens, for the tired ones were wecking, as we weep now with them. O! O!
O! Par la pluie!
Then there came down to the thither bank a woman of no appearance (I
believe she was a Black with chills at her feet) and she gathered up his
hoariness the Mookse motamourfully where he was spread and carried him away
to her invisible dwelling, thats hights, Aquila Rapax, for he was the holy
sacred solem and poshup spit of her boshop's apron. So you see the Mookse he
had reason as I knew and you knew and he knew all along. And there came down
to the hither bank a woman to all important (though they say that she was
comely, spite the cold in her heed) and, for he was as like it as blow it to
a hawker's hank, she plucked down the Gripes, torn panicky autotone, in
angeu from his limb and cariad away its beotitubes with her to her unseen
shieling, it is, De Rore Coeli. And so the poor Gripes got wrong; for that
is always how a Gripes is, always was and always will.be. And it was never
so thoughtful of either of them. And there were left now an only elmtree and
but a stone. Polled with pietrous, Sierre but saule. O! Yes! And Nuvoletta,
a lass.
Then Nuvoletta reflected for the last time in her little long life and
she made up all her myriads of drifting minds in one. She cancelled all her
engauzements. She climbed over the bannistars; she gave a childy cloudy cry:
Nu e! Nu e! A lightdress fluttered. She was gone. And into the river that
had been a stream (for a thousand of tears had gone eon her and come on her
and she was stout and struck on dancing and her muddied name was
Missisliffi) there fell a tear, a singult tear, the loveliest of all tears
(I mean for those crylove fables fans who are 'keen' on the prettypretty
commonface sort of thing you meet by hopeharrods) for it was a leaptear. But
the river tripped on her by and by, lapping as though her heart was brook:
Why, why, why! Weh, O weh I'se so silly to be flowing but I no canna stay!
No applause, please! Bast! The romescot nattleshaker will go round your
circulation in diu dursus.
Allaboy, Major, I'll take your reactions in another place after themes.
Nolan Browne, you may now leave the classroom. Joe Peters, Fox.
As I have now successfully explained to you my own naturalborn rations
which are even in excise of my vaultybrain insure me that I am a mouth's
more deserving case by genius. I feel in symbathos for my ever devoted
friend and halfaloafonwashed, Gnaccus Gnoccovitch. Darling gem! Darling
smallfox! Horoseshoew! I could love that man like my own ambo for being so
baileycliaver though he's a nawful curillass and I must slav to
methodiousness. I want him to go and live like a theabild in charge of the
night brigade on Tristan da Cunha, isle of manoverboard, where he'll make
Number 106 and be near Inaccessible. (The meeting of mahoganies, be the
waves, rementious me that this exposed sight though it pines for an umbrella
of its own and needs a shelter belt of the true service sort to keep its
boles clean, -- the weeping beeches, Picea and Tillia, are in a wild state
about it -- ought to be classified, as Cricketbutt Willowm and his two
nurserymen advisers suggested, under genus Inexhaustible when we refloat
upon all the butternat, sweet gum and manna ash redcedera which is so
purvulent there as if there was howthorns in Curraghchasa which ought to
look as plane as a lodgepole to anybody until we are introduced to that
pinetacotta of Verney Rubeus where the deodarty is pinctured for us in a
pure stand, which we do not doubt ha has a habitat of doing, but without
those selfsownseedlings which are a species of proof that the largest
individual can occur at or in an olivetion such as East Conna Hillock where
it mixes with foolth accacians and common sallies and is tender) Vux
Populus, as we say in hickoryhockery and I wish we had some more glasses of
arbor vitae. Why roat by the roadside or awn over alum pot? Alderman
Whitebeaver is dakyo. He ought to go away for a change of ideas and he'd
have a world of things to look back on. Do,sweet Daniel! If I weren't a
jones in myself I'd elect myself to be his dolphin in the wildsbillow
because he is such a barefooted rubber with my supersocks pulled over his
face which I publicked in my bestback garden for the laetification of
siderodromites and to the irony of the stars. You will say it is most
unenglish and I shall hope to hear that you will not be wrong about it. But
I further, feeling a bit husky in my truths.
Will you please come over and let us mooremoore murgessly to each's
other down below our vices. I am underheerd by old billfaust. Wilsh is full
of curks. The coolskittle is philip deblinite. Mr Wist is thereover beyeind
the wantnot. Wilsh and wist are as thick of thins udder as faust on the
deblinite. Sgunoshooto estas preter la tapizo malgranda. Lilegas al si en
sia chambro. Kelkefoje funcktas, kelkefoje srumpas Shultroj. Houdian Kiel vi
fartas, mia nigra sinjoro? And from the poignt of fun where I am crying to
arrive you at they are on allfore as foibleminded as you can feel they are
fablebodied.
My heeders will recoil with a great leisure how at the outbreak before
trespassing on the space question where even michelangelines have fooled to
dread I proved to mindself as to your sotisfiction how his abject all
through (the quickquid of Professor Ciondolone's too frequently hypothecated
Bettlermensch) is nothing so much more than a mere cashdime however genteel
he may want ours, if we please (I am speaking to us in the second person),
for to this graded intellecktuals dime is cash and the cash system (you must
not be allowed to forget that this is all contained, I mean the system, in
the dogmarks of origen on spurios) means that I cannot now have or nothave a
piece of cheeps in your pocket at the same time and with the same manners as
you can now nothalf or half the cheek apiece I've in mind unless Burrus and
Caseous have not or not have seemaultaneously sysentangled themselves,
selldear to soldthere, once in the dairy days of buy and buy.
Burrus, let us like to imagine, is a genuine prime, the real choice,
full of natural greace, the mildest of milkstoffs yet unbeaten as a risicide
and, of course, obsoletely unadulterous whereat Caseous is obversely the
revise of him and in fact not an ideal choose by any meals, though the
betterman of the two is meltingly addicted to the more casual side of the
arrivaliste case and, let me say it at once, as zealous over him as is
passably he. The seemsame home and histry seeks and hidepence which we used
to be reading for our prepurgatory, hot, Schott? till Duddy shut the shopper
op and Mutti, poor Mutti! brought us our poor suppy, (ah who! eh how!) in
Acetius and Oleosus and Sellius Volatilis and Petrus Papricus! Our Old Party
quite united round the Slatbowel at Commons: Pfarrer Salamoss himself and
that sprog of a Pedersill and his Sprig of Thyme and a dozen of the
Murphybuds and a score and more of the hot young Capels and Lettucia in her
greensleeves and you too and me three, twinsome bibs but hansome ates, like
shakespill and eggs! But there's many a split pretext bowl and jowl; and
(snob screwing that cork, Schott!) to understand this as well as you can,
feeling how backward you are in your down-to-the-ground benches, I have
completed the following arrangement for the coarse use of stools and if I
don't make away with you I'm beyond Caesar outnullused
The older sisars (Tyrants, regicide is too good for you!) become
unbeurrable from age, (the compositor of the farce of dustiny however makes
a thunpledrum mistake by letting off this pienofarte effect as his furst act
as that is where the juke comes in) having been sort-of-nineknived and
chewly removed (this soldier -- author -- batman for all his commontoryism
is just another of those souftsiezed bubbles who never quite got the
sandhurst out of his eyes so that the champaign he draws for us is as flop
as a plankrieg) the twinfreer types are billed to make their reupprearance
as the knew kneck and knife knickknots on the deserted champ de bouteilles.
(A most cursery reading into the Persic-Uraliens hostery shows us how
Fonnumagula picked up that propper numen out of a colluction of prifixes
though to the permienting cannasure the Coucousien oafsprung of this sun of
a kuk is as sattin as there's a tub in Tobolosk) Ostiak della Vogul Marina!
But that I dannoy the fact of wanton to weste point I could paint you to
that butter (cheese it!) if you had some wash. Mordvealive! Oh me none
onsens! Why the case is as inessive and impossive as kezom hands! Their
interlocative is conprovocative just as every hazzy hates to having a
hazbane in her noze. Caseous may bethink himself a thought of a caviller but
Burrus has the reachly roundered head that goes best with thofthinking
defensive fideism. He has the lac of wisdom under every dent in his lofter
while the other follow's onni vesy milky indeedmymy. Laughing over the
linnuts and weeping off the uniun. He hisn't the hey og he lisn't the lug,
poohoo. And each night sim misses mand he winks he had the semagen. It was
aptly and corrigidly stated (and, it is royally needless for one ex ungue
Leonem to say by whom) that his seeingscraft was that clarety as were the
wholeborough of Poutresbourg to be averlaunched over him pitchbatch he could
still make out with his augstritch the green moat in Ireland's Eye. Let me
sell you the fulltroth of Burrus when he wore a younker. Here it is, and
chorming too, in six by sevens! A cleanly line, by the gods! A king off duty
and a jaw for ever! And what a cheery ripe outlook, good help me Deus v
Deus! If I were to speak my ohole mouthful to arinam about it you should
call me the ormuzd aliment in your midst of faime. Eat ye up, heat ye up!
sings the somun in the salm. Butyrum et mel comedet ut sciat reprobare malum
et eligere bonum. This, of course, also explains why we were taught to play
in the childhood: Der Haensli ist ern Butterbrot, mein Butterbrot! Und Koebi
iss dein Schtinkenkot! Ja! Ja! Ja!
This in fact, just to show you, is Caseous, the brutherscutch or puir
tyron: a hole or two, the highstinks aforefelt and anygo prigging wurms.
Cheesugh! you complain. And Hi Hi High must say you are not Hoa Hoa Hoally
in the wrong!
Thus we cannot escape our likes and mislikes, exiles or ambusheers,
beggar and neighbour and -- this is where the dimeshow advertisers advance
the temporal relief plea -- let us be tolerant of antipathies. Nex quovis
burro num fit mercaseus? I am not hereby giving my final endorsement to the
learned ignorants of the Cusanus philosophism in which old Nicholas pegs it
down that the smarter the spin of the top the sounder the span of the buttom
(what the worthy old auberginiste ought to have meant was: the more stolidly
immobile in space appears to me the bottom which is presented to use in time
by the top primomobilisk &c.). And I shall be misunderstord if understood to
give an unconditional sinequam to the heroicised furibouts of the Nolanus
theory, or, at any rate, of that substrate of apart from hissheory where the
Theophil swoors that on principial he was the pointing start of his odiose
by comparison and that whiles eggs will fall cheapened all over the walled
the Bure will be dear on the Brie.
Now, while I am not out now to be taken up as unintentionally
recommending the Silkebjorg tyrondynamon machine for the more economical
helixtrolysis of these amboadipates until I can find space to look into it
myself a little more closely first I shall go on with my decisions after
having shown to you in good time how both products of our social stomach
(the excellent Dr Burroman, I noticed by the way from his emended food
theory, has been carefully digesting the very wholesome criticism I helped
him to in my princeps edition which is all so munch to the cud) are
mutuearly polarised the incompatabilily of any delusional acting as
ambivalent to the fixation of his pivotism. Positing, as above, too males
pooles, the one the pictor of the other and the omber the Skotia of the one,
and looking wantingly around our undistributed middle between males we feel
we must waistfully woent a female to focus and on this stage there
pleasantly appears the cowrymaid M. whom we shall often meet below who
introduces herself upon us at some precise hour which we shall again agree
to call absolute zero or the babbling pumpt of platinism. And so like that
former son of a kish who went up and out to found his farmer's ashes we come
down home gently on our own turnedabout asses to meet Margareen.
We now romp through a period of pure lyricism of shamebred music
(technologically, let me say, the appetising entry of this subject on a fool
chest of vialds is plumply pudding the carp before doevre hors) evidenced by
such words in distress as I cream for thee, Sweet Margareen, and the more
hopeful O Margareena! O Margareena! Still in the bowl is left a lump of
gold! (Correspondents, by the way, will keep on asking me what is the
correct garnish to serve drisheens with. Tansy Sauce. Enough). The
pawnbreaking pathos of the first of these shoddy pieces reveals it as a
Caseous effort. Burrus's bit is often used for a toast. Criniculture can
tell us very precisely indeed how and why this particular streak of yellow
silver first appeared on (not in) the bowel, that is to see, the human head,
bald, black, bronze, brown, brindled, betteraved or blanchemanged where it
might be usefully compared with an earwig on a fullbottom. I am offering
this to Signorina Cuticura and I intend to take it up and bring it under the
nosetice of Herr Harlene by way of diverting his attentions. Of course the
unskilled singer continues to pervert our wiser ears by subordinating the
space-element, that is to sing, the aria, to the time-factor, which ought to
be killed, ill tempor. I should advise any unborn singer who may still be
among my heeders to forget her temporal diaphragm at home (the best thing
that could happen to it!) and attack the roulade with a swift colpo di
glottide to the lug (though Maace I will insist was reclined from overdoing
this, his recovery often being slow) and then, O ! on the third dead beat, O
! to cluse her eyes and aiopen her oath and see what spice I may send her.
How? Cease thee, cantatrickee! I fain would be solo. Arouse thee, my valour!
And save for e'er my true Bdur!
I shall have a word to say in a few yards about the acoustic and
orchidectural management of the tonehall but, as ours is a vivarious where
one plant's breaf is a lunger planner's byscent and you may not care for
argon, it will be very convenient for me for the emolument to pursue Burrus
and Caseous for a rung or two up their isocelating biangle. Every admirer
has seen my goulache of Marge (she is so like the sister, you don't know,
and they both dress A L I K E !) which I titled The Very Picture of a
Needlesswoman which in the presence ornates our national cruetstand. This
genre of portraiture of changes of mind in order to be truly torse should
evoke the bush soul of females so I am leaving it to the experienced victim
to complete the general suggestion by the mental addition of a wallopy bound
or, should the zulugical zealot prefer it, a congorool teal. The hatboxes
which composed Rhomba, lady Trabezond (Marge in her excelsis), also
comprised the climactogram up which B and C may fondly be imagined ascending
and are suggestive of gentlemen's spring modes, these modes carrying us back
to the superimposed claylayers of eocene and pleastoseen formation and the
gradual morphological changes in our body politic which Professor
Ebahi-Ahuri of Philadespoinis (Ill) -- whose bluebutterbust I have just
given his coupe de grass to -- neatly names a bo te ... surprises. The
boxes, if I may break the subject gently, are worth about fourpence pourbox
but I am inventing a more patent process, foolproof and pryperfect (I should
like to ask that Shedlock Homes person who is out for removing the roofs of
our criminal classics by what deductio ad domunum he hopes de tacto to
detect anything unless he happens of himself, movibile tectu, to have a
slade off) after which they can be reduced to a fragment of their true crust
by even the youngest of Margees if she will take plase to be seated and
smile if I please.
Now there can be no question about it either that I having done as
much, have quite got the size of that demilitery young female (we will
continue to call her Marge) whose types may be met with in any public
garden, wearing a very "dressy" affair, known as an "ethel" of instep length
and with a real fur, reduced to 3/9, and muffin cap to tone (they are
"angelskin" this fall), ostentatiously hemming apologetically over the
shirtness of some "sweet" garment, when she is not sitting on all the free
benches avidously reading about "it" but ovidently on the look out for "him"
or so "thrilled" about the best dressed dolly pram and beautiful elbow
competition or at the movies swallowing sobs and blowing bixed mixcuits over
"childe" chaplain's "latest" or on the verge of the gutter with some
bobbedhair brieffrocked babyma's toddler (the Smythe-Smythes now keep TWO
domestics and aspire to THREE male ones, a shover, a butlegger and a
sectary) held hostage at armslength, teaching His Infant Majesty how to make
waters worse.
(I am closely watching Master Pules, as I have regions to suspect from
my post that her "litde man" is a secondary schoolteacher under the boards
of education, a voted disciple of Infantulus who is being utilised thus
publicly by the seducente infanta to conceal her own more mascular
personality by flaunting frivolish finery over men's inside clothes, for the
femininny of that totamulier will always lack the musculink of a verumvirum.
My solotions for the proper parturience of matres and the education of
micturious mites must stand over from the moment till I tackle this tickler
hussy for occupying my uttentions.)
Margareena she's very fond of Burrus but, alick and alack! she velly
fond of chee. (The important influence exercised on everything by this
eastasian import has not been till now fully flavoured though we can
comfortably taste it in this case. I shall come back for a little more say
farther on.) A cleopatrician in her own right she at once complicates the
position while Burrus and Caseous are contending for her misstery by
implicating herself with an elusive Antonius, a wop who would appear to hug
a personal interest in refined chees of all chades at the same time as he
wags an antomine art of being rude like the boor. This
Antonius-Burrus-Caseous grouptriad may be said to equate the qualis
equivalent with the older socalled talis on talis one just as quantly as in
the hyperchemical economantarchy the tantum ergons irruminate the quantum