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“Jacob? Seth? What’s going on?”
I slowed and then paced back a few steps. The smell was so sharp through this nose that it felt like it was honestly burning me. Seth whined quietly, hesitating, and then he fell back behind me.
To answer Edward’s question, I let my mind run over the confrontation with Sam, moving through it backward. Seth thought with me, filling in the gaps, showing the scene from another angle. We stopped when we got to the part about the “abomination,” because Edward hissed furiously and leaped off the porch.
“They want to kill Bella?” he snarled flatly.
Emmett and Jasper, not having heard the first part of the conversation, took his inflectionless question for a statement. They were right next to him in a flash, teeth exposed as they moved on us.
Hey, now,Seth thought, backing away.
“Em, Jazz—not them! The others. The pack is coming.”
Emmett and Jasper rocked back on their heels; Emmett turned to Edward while Jasper kept his eyes locked on us.
“What’s theirproblem?” Emmett demanded.
“The same one as mine,” Edward hissed. “But they have their own plan to handle it. Get the others. Call Carlisle! He and Esme have to get back here now.”
I whined uneasily. They wereseparated.
“They aren’t far,” Edward said in the same dead voice as before.
I’m going to go take a look,Seth said. Run the western perimeter.
“Will you be in danger, Seth?” Edward asked.
Seth and I exchanged a glance.
Don’t think so,we thought together. And then I added, But maybe I should go. Just in case…
They’ll be less likely to challenge me,Seth pointed out. I’m just a kid to them.
You’re just a kid to me, kid.
I’m outta here. You need to coordinate with the Cullens.
He wheeled and darted into the darkness. I wasn’t going to order Seth around, so I let him go.
Edward and I stood facing each other in the dark meadow. I could hear Emmett muttering into his phone. Jasper was watching the place where Seth had vanished into the woods. Alice appeared on the porch and then, after staring at me with anxious eyes for a long moment, she flitted to Jasper’s side. I guessed that Rosalie was inside with Bella. Still guarding her—from the wrong dangers.
“This isn’t the first time I’ve owed you my gratitude, Jacob,” Edward whispered. “I would never have asked for this from you.”
I thought of what he’d asked me for earlier today. When it came to Bella, there were no lines he wouldn’t cross. Yeah, you would.
He thought about it and then nodded. “I suppose you’re right about that.”
I sighed heavily. Well, this isn’t the first time that I didn’t do it for you.
“Right,” he murmured.
Sorry I didn’t do any good today. Told you she wouldn’t listen to me.
“I know. I never really believed she would. But . . .”
You had to try. I get it. She any better?
His voice and eyes went hollow. “Worse,” he breathed.
I didn’t want to let that word sink in. I was grateful when Alice spoke.
“Jacob, would you mind switching forms?” Alice asked. “I want to know what’s going on.”
I shook my head at the same time Edward answered.
“He needs to stay linked to Seth.”
“Well, then would yoube so kind as to tell me what’s happening?”
He explained in clipped, emotionless sentences. “The pack thinks Bella’s become a problem. They foresee potential danger from the… from what she’s carrying. They feel it’s their duty to remove that danger. Jacob and Seth disbanded from the pack to warn us. The rest are planning to attack tonight.”
Alice hissed, leaning away from me. Emmett and Jasper exchanged a glance, and then their eyes ranged across the trees.
Nobody out here,Seth reported. All’s quiet on the western front.
They may go around.
I’ll make a loop.
“Carlisle and Esme are on their way,” Emmett said. “Twenty minutes, tops.”
“We should take up a defensive position,” Jasper said.
Edward nodded. “Let’s get inside.”
I’ll run perimeter with Seth. If I get too far for you to hear my head, listen for my howl.
“I will.”
They backed into the house, eyes flickering everywhere. Before they were inside, I turned and ran toward the west.
I’m still not finding much,Seth told me.
I’ll take half the circle. Move fast—we don’t want them to have a chance to sneak past us.
Seth lurched forward in a sudden burst of speed.
We ran in silence, and the minutes passed. I listened to the noises around him, double-checking his judgment.
Hey—something coming up fast!he warned me after fifteen minutes of silence.
On my way!
Hold your position—I don’t think it’s the pack. It sounds different.
Seth—
But he caught the approaching scent on the breeze, and I read it in his mind.
Vampire. Bet it’s Carlisle.
Seth, fall back. It might be someone else.
No, it’s them. I recognize the scent. Hold up, I’m going to phase to explain it to them.
Seth, I don’t think—
But he was gone.
Anxiously, I raced along the western border. Wouldn’t it be just peachy if I couldn’t take care of Seth for one freaking night? What if something happened to him on my watch? Leah would shred me into kibble.
At least the kid kept it short. It wasn’t two minutes later when I felt him in my head again.
Yep, Carlisle and Esme. Boy, were they surprised to see me! They’re probably inside by now. Carlisle said thanks.
He’s a good guy.
Yeah. That’s one of the reasons why we’re right about this.
Hope so.
Why’re you so down, Jake? I’ll bet Sam won’t bring the pack tonight. He’s not going to launch a suicide mission.
I sighed. It didn’t seem to matter, either way.
Oh. This isn’t about Sam so much, is it?
I made the turn at the end of my patrol. I caught Seth’s scent where he’d turned last. We weren’t leaving any gaps.
You think Bella’s going to die anyway,Seth whispered.
Yeah, she is.
Poor Edward. He must be crazy.
Literally.
Edward’s name brought other memories boiling to the surface. Seth read them in astonishment.
And then he was howling. Oh, man! No way! You didnot ! That just plain ol’ sucks rocks, Jacob! And you know it, too! I can’t believe you said you’d kill him. Whatis that? You have to tell him no.
Shut up, shut up, you idiot! They’re going to think the pack is coming!
Oops!He cut off mid-howl.
I wheeled and started loping in toward the house. Just keep out of this, Seth. Take the whole circle for now.
Seth seethed and I ignored him.
False alarm, false alarm,I thought as I ran closer in. Sorry. Seth is young. He forgets things. No one’s attacking. False alarm.
When I got to the meadow, I could see Edward staring out of a dark window. I ran in, wanting to be sure he got the message.
There’s nothing out there—you got that?
He nodded once.
This would be a lot easier if the communication wasn’t one way. Then again, I was kinda glad I wasn’t in hishead.
He looked over his shoulder, back into the house, and I saw a shudder run through his whole frame. He waved me away without looking in my direction again and then moved out of my view.
What’s going on?
Like I was going to get an answer.
I sat very still in the meadow and listened. With these ears, I could almost hear Seth’s soft footfalls, miles out into the forest. It was easy to hear every sound inside the dark house.
“It was a false alarm,” Edward was explaining in that dead voice, just repeating what I’d told him. “Seth was upset about something else, and he forgot we were listening for a signal. He’s very young.”
“Nice to have toddlers guarding the fort,” a deeper voice grumbled. Emmett, I thought.
“They’ve done us a great service tonight, Emmett,” Carlisle said. “At great personal sacrifice.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m just jealous. Wish I was out there.”
“Seth doesn’t think Sam will attack now,” Edward said mechanically. “Not with us forewarned, and lacking two members of the pack.”
“What does Jacob think?” Carlisle asked.
“He’s not as optimistic.”
No one spoke. There was a quiet dripping sound that I couldn’t place. I heard their low breathing—and I could separate Bella’s from the rest. It was harsher, labored. It hitched and broke in strange rhythms. I could hear her heart. It seemed… too fast. I paced it against my own heartbeat, but I wasn’t sure if that was any measure. It wasn’t like I was normal.
“Don’t touch her! You’ll wake her up,” Rosalie whispered.
Someone sighed.
“Rosalie,” Carlisle murmured.
“Don’t start with me, Carlisle. We let you have your way earlier, but that’s all we’re allowing.”
It seemed like Rosalie and Bella were both talking in plurals now. Like they’d formed a pack of their own.
I paced quietly in front of the house. Each pass brought me a little closer. The dark windows were like a TV set running in some dull waiting room—it was impossible to keep my eyes off them for long.
A few more minutes, a few more passes, and my fur was brushing the side of the porch as I paced.
I could see up through the windows—see the top of the walls and the ceiling, the unlit chandelier that hung there. I was tall enough that all I would have to do was stretch my neck a little… and maybe one paw up on the edge of the porch.…
I peeked into the big, open front room, expecting to see something very similar to the scene this afternoon. But it had changed so much that I was confused at first. For a second I thought I’d gotten the wrong room.
The glass wall was gone—it looked like metal now. And the furniture was all dragged out of the way, with Bella curled up awkwardly on a narrow bed in the center of the open space. Not a normal bed—one with rails like in a hospital. Also like a hospital were the monitors strapped to her body, the tubes stuck into her skin. The lights on the monitors flashed, but there was no sound. The dripping noise was from the IV plugged into her arm—some fluid that was thick and white, not clear.
She choked a little in her uneasy sleep, and both Edward and Rosalie moved in to hover over her. Her body jerked, and she whimpered. Rosalie smoothed her hand across Bella’s forehead. Edward’s body stiffened—his back was to me, but his expression must have been something to see, because Emmett wrenched himself between them before there was time to blink. He held his hands up to Edward.
“Not tonight, Edward. We’ve got other things to worry about.”
Edward turned away from them, and he was the burning man again. His eyes met mine for one moment, and then I dropped back to all fours.
I ran back into the dark forest, running to join Seth, running away from what was behind me.
Worse. Yes, she was worse.
12 SOME PEOPLE JUST DON’T GRASP THE CONCEPT OF “UNWELCOME”
13 GOOD THING I’VE GOT A STRONG STOMACH
I slowed and then paced back a few steps. The smell was so sharp through this nose that it felt like it was honestly burning me. Seth whined quietly, hesitating, and then he fell back behind me.
To answer Edward’s question, I let my mind run over the confrontation with Sam, moving through it backward. Seth thought with me, filling in the gaps, showing the scene from another angle. We stopped when we got to the part about the “abomination,” because Edward hissed furiously and leaped off the porch.
“They want to kill Bella?” he snarled flatly.
Emmett and Jasper, not having heard the first part of the conversation, took his inflectionless question for a statement. They were right next to him in a flash, teeth exposed as they moved on us.
Hey, now,Seth thought, backing away.
“Em, Jazz—not them! The others. The pack is coming.”
Emmett and Jasper rocked back on their heels; Emmett turned to Edward while Jasper kept his eyes locked on us.
“What’s theirproblem?” Emmett demanded.
“The same one as mine,” Edward hissed. “But they have their own plan to handle it. Get the others. Call Carlisle! He and Esme have to get back here now.”
I whined uneasily. They wereseparated.
“They aren’t far,” Edward said in the same dead voice as before.
I’m going to go take a look,Seth said. Run the western perimeter.
“Will you be in danger, Seth?” Edward asked.
Seth and I exchanged a glance.
Don’t think so,we thought together. And then I added, But maybe I should go. Just in case…
They’ll be less likely to challenge me,Seth pointed out. I’m just a kid to them.
You’re just a kid to me, kid.
I’m outta here. You need to coordinate with the Cullens.
He wheeled and darted into the darkness. I wasn’t going to order Seth around, so I let him go.
Edward and I stood facing each other in the dark meadow. I could hear Emmett muttering into his phone. Jasper was watching the place where Seth had vanished into the woods. Alice appeared on the porch and then, after staring at me with anxious eyes for a long moment, she flitted to Jasper’s side. I guessed that Rosalie was inside with Bella. Still guarding her—from the wrong dangers.
“This isn’t the first time I’ve owed you my gratitude, Jacob,” Edward whispered. “I would never have asked for this from you.”
I thought of what he’d asked me for earlier today. When it came to Bella, there were no lines he wouldn’t cross. Yeah, you would.
He thought about it and then nodded. “I suppose you’re right about that.”
I sighed heavily. Well, this isn’t the first time that I didn’t do it for you.
“Right,” he murmured.
Sorry I didn’t do any good today. Told you she wouldn’t listen to me.
“I know. I never really believed she would. But . . .”
You had to try. I get it. She any better?
His voice and eyes went hollow. “Worse,” he breathed.
I didn’t want to let that word sink in. I was grateful when Alice spoke.
“Jacob, would you mind switching forms?” Alice asked. “I want to know what’s going on.”
I shook my head at the same time Edward answered.
“He needs to stay linked to Seth.”
“Well, then would yoube so kind as to tell me what’s happening?”
He explained in clipped, emotionless sentences. “The pack thinks Bella’s become a problem. They foresee potential danger from the… from what she’s carrying. They feel it’s their duty to remove that danger. Jacob and Seth disbanded from the pack to warn us. The rest are planning to attack tonight.”
Alice hissed, leaning away from me. Emmett and Jasper exchanged a glance, and then their eyes ranged across the trees.
Nobody out here,Seth reported. All’s quiet on the western front.
They may go around.
I’ll make a loop.
“Carlisle and Esme are on their way,” Emmett said. “Twenty minutes, tops.”
“We should take up a defensive position,” Jasper said.
Edward nodded. “Let’s get inside.”
I’ll run perimeter with Seth. If I get too far for you to hear my head, listen for my howl.
“I will.”
They backed into the house, eyes flickering everywhere. Before they were inside, I turned and ran toward the west.
I’m still not finding much,Seth told me.
I’ll take half the circle. Move fast—we don’t want them to have a chance to sneak past us.
Seth lurched forward in a sudden burst of speed.
We ran in silence, and the minutes passed. I listened to the noises around him, double-checking his judgment.
Hey—something coming up fast!he warned me after fifteen minutes of silence.
On my way!
Hold your position—I don’t think it’s the pack. It sounds different.
Seth—
But he caught the approaching scent on the breeze, and I read it in his mind.
Vampire. Bet it’s Carlisle.
Seth, fall back. It might be someone else.
No, it’s them. I recognize the scent. Hold up, I’m going to phase to explain it to them.
Seth, I don’t think—
But he was gone.
Anxiously, I raced along the western border. Wouldn’t it be just peachy if I couldn’t take care of Seth for one freaking night? What if something happened to him on my watch? Leah would shred me into kibble.
At least the kid kept it short. It wasn’t two minutes later when I felt him in my head again.
Yep, Carlisle and Esme. Boy, were they surprised to see me! They’re probably inside by now. Carlisle said thanks.
He’s a good guy.
Yeah. That’s one of the reasons why we’re right about this.
Hope so.
Why’re you so down, Jake? I’ll bet Sam won’t bring the pack tonight. He’s not going to launch a suicide mission.
I sighed. It didn’t seem to matter, either way.
Oh. This isn’t about Sam so much, is it?
I made the turn at the end of my patrol. I caught Seth’s scent where he’d turned last. We weren’t leaving any gaps.
You think Bella’s going to die anyway,Seth whispered.
Yeah, she is.
Poor Edward. He must be crazy.
Literally.
Edward’s name brought other memories boiling to the surface. Seth read them in astonishment.
And then he was howling. Oh, man! No way! You didnot ! That just plain ol’ sucks rocks, Jacob! And you know it, too! I can’t believe you said you’d kill him. Whatis that? You have to tell him no.
Shut up, shut up, you idiot! They’re going to think the pack is coming!
Oops!He cut off mid-howl.
I wheeled and started loping in toward the house. Just keep out of this, Seth. Take the whole circle for now.
Seth seethed and I ignored him.
False alarm, false alarm,I thought as I ran closer in. Sorry. Seth is young. He forgets things. No one’s attacking. False alarm.
When I got to the meadow, I could see Edward staring out of a dark window. I ran in, wanting to be sure he got the message.
There’s nothing out there—you got that?
He nodded once.
This would be a lot easier if the communication wasn’t one way. Then again, I was kinda glad I wasn’t in hishead.
He looked over his shoulder, back into the house, and I saw a shudder run through his whole frame. He waved me away without looking in my direction again and then moved out of my view.
What’s going on?
Like I was going to get an answer.
I sat very still in the meadow and listened. With these ears, I could almost hear Seth’s soft footfalls, miles out into the forest. It was easy to hear every sound inside the dark house.
“It was a false alarm,” Edward was explaining in that dead voice, just repeating what I’d told him. “Seth was upset about something else, and he forgot we were listening for a signal. He’s very young.”
“Nice to have toddlers guarding the fort,” a deeper voice grumbled. Emmett, I thought.
“They’ve done us a great service tonight, Emmett,” Carlisle said. “At great personal sacrifice.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m just jealous. Wish I was out there.”
“Seth doesn’t think Sam will attack now,” Edward said mechanically. “Not with us forewarned, and lacking two members of the pack.”
“What does Jacob think?” Carlisle asked.
“He’s not as optimistic.”
No one spoke. There was a quiet dripping sound that I couldn’t place. I heard their low breathing—and I could separate Bella’s from the rest. It was harsher, labored. It hitched and broke in strange rhythms. I could hear her heart. It seemed… too fast. I paced it against my own heartbeat, but I wasn’t sure if that was any measure. It wasn’t like I was normal.
“Don’t touch her! You’ll wake her up,” Rosalie whispered.
Someone sighed.
“Rosalie,” Carlisle murmured.
“Don’t start with me, Carlisle. We let you have your way earlier, but that’s all we’re allowing.”
It seemed like Rosalie and Bella were both talking in plurals now. Like they’d formed a pack of their own.
I paced quietly in front of the house. Each pass brought me a little closer. The dark windows were like a TV set running in some dull waiting room—it was impossible to keep my eyes off them for long.
A few more minutes, a few more passes, and my fur was brushing the side of the porch as I paced.
I could see up through the windows—see the top of the walls and the ceiling, the unlit chandelier that hung there. I was tall enough that all I would have to do was stretch my neck a little… and maybe one paw up on the edge of the porch.…
I peeked into the big, open front room, expecting to see something very similar to the scene this afternoon. But it had changed so much that I was confused at first. For a second I thought I’d gotten the wrong room.
The glass wall was gone—it looked like metal now. And the furniture was all dragged out of the way, with Bella curled up awkwardly on a narrow bed in the center of the open space. Not a normal bed—one with rails like in a hospital. Also like a hospital were the monitors strapped to her body, the tubes stuck into her skin. The lights on the monitors flashed, but there was no sound. The dripping noise was from the IV plugged into her arm—some fluid that was thick and white, not clear.
She choked a little in her uneasy sleep, and both Edward and Rosalie moved in to hover over her. Her body jerked, and she whimpered. Rosalie smoothed her hand across Bella’s forehead. Edward’s body stiffened—his back was to me, but his expression must have been something to see, because Emmett wrenched himself between them before there was time to blink. He held his hands up to Edward.
“Not tonight, Edward. We’ve got other things to worry about.”
Edward turned away from them, and he was the burning man again. His eyes met mine for one moment, and then I dropped back to all fours.
I ran back into the dark forest, running to join Seth, running away from what was behind me.
Worse. Yes, she was worse.
12 SOME PEOPLE JUST DON’T GRASP THE CONCEPT OF “UNWELCOME”
I was right on the edge of sleep.
The sun had risen behind the clouds an hour ago—the forest was gray now instead of black. Seth’d curled up and passed out around one, and I’d woken him at dawn to trade off. Even after running all night, I was having a hard time making my brain shut up long enough to fall asleep, but Seth’s rhythmic run was helping. One, two-three, four, one, two-three, four— dum dum-dum dum—dull paw thuds against the damp earth, over and over as he made the wide circuit surrounding the Cullens’ land. We were already wearing a trail into the ground. Seth’s thoughts were empty, just a blur of green and gray as the woods flew past him. It was restful. It helped to fill my head with what he saw rather than letting my own images take center stage.
And then Seth’s piercing howl broke the early morning quiet.
I lurched up from the ground, my front legs pulling toward a sprint before my hind legs were off the ground. I raced toward the place where Seth had frozen, listening with him to the tread of paws running in our direction.
Morning, boys.
A shocked whine broke through Seth’s teeth. And then we both snarled as we read deeper into the new thoughts.
Oh, man! Goaway , Leah!Seth groaned.
I stopped when I got to Seth, head thrown back, ready to howl again—this time to complain.
Cut the noise, Seth.
Right. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!He whimpered and pawed at the ground, scratching deep furrows in the dirt.
Leah trotted into view, her small gray body weaving through the underbrush.
Stop whining, Seth. You’re such a baby.
I growled at her, my ears flattening against my skull. She skipped back a step automatically.
What do you think you’re doing, Leah?
She huffed a heavy sigh. It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? I’m joining your crappy little renegade pack. The vampires’ guard dogs.She barked out a low, sarcastic laugh.
No, you’re not. Turn around before I rip out one of your hamstrings.
Like you could catch me.She grinned and coiled her body for launch. Wanna race, O fearless leader?
I took a deep breath, filling my lungs until my sides bulged. Then, when I was sure I wasn’t going to scream, I exhaled in a gust.
Seth, go let the Cullens know that it’s just your stupid sister—I thought the words as harshly as possible. I’ll deal with this.
On it!Seth was only too happy to leave. He vanished toward the house.
Leah whined, and she leaned after him, the fur on her shoulders rising. You’re just going to let him run off to the vampiresalone?
I’m pretty sure he’d rather they took him out than spend another minute with you.
Shut up, Jacob. Oops, I’m sorry—I meant, shut up, most high Alpha.
Why thehell are you here?
You think I’m just going to sit home while my little brother volunteers as a vampire chew toy?
Seth doesn’t want or need your protection. In fact, no one wants you here.
Oooh, ouch, that’s gonna leave ahuge mark. Ha,she barked. Tell me whodoes want me around, and I’m outta here.
So this isn’t about Seth at all, is it?
Of course it is. I’m just pointing out that being unwanted is not a first for me. Not really a motivating factor, if you know what I mean.
I gritted my teeth and tried to get my head straight.
Did Sam send you?
If I was here on Sam’s errand, you wouldn’t be able to hear me. My allegiance is no longer with him.
I listened carefully to the thoughts mixed in with the words. If this was a diversion or a ploy, I had to be alert enough to see through it. But there was nothing. Her declaration was nothing but the truth. Unwilling, almost despairing truth.
You’re loyal tome now?I asked with deep sarcasm. Uh-huh. Right.
My choices are limited. I’m working with the options I’ve got. Trust me, I’m not enjoying this any more than you are.
That wasn’t true. There was an edgy kind of excitement in her mind. She was unhappy about this, but she was also riding some weird high. I searched her mind, trying to understand.
She bristled, resenting the intrusion. I usually tried to tune Leah out—I’d never tried to make sense of her before.
We were interrupted by Seth, thinking his explanation at Edward. Leah whined anxiously. Edward’s face, framed in the same window as last night, showed no reaction to the news. It was a blank face, dead.
Wow, he looks bad,Seth muttered to himself. The vampire showed no reaction to that thought, either. He disappeared into the house. Seth pivoted and headed back out to us. Leah relaxed a little.
What’s going on?Leah asked. Catch me up to speed.
There’s no point. You’re not staying.
Actually, Mr. Alpha, I am. Because since apparently I have to belong tosomeone —and don’t think I haven’t tried breaking off on my own, you know yourself how wellthat doesn’t work—I choose you.
Leah, you don’t like me. I don’t like you.
Thank you, Captain Obvious. That doesn’t matter to me. I’m staying with Seth.
You don’t like vampires. Don’t you think that’s a little conflict of interest right there?
You don’t like vampires either.
But Iam committed to this alliance. You aren’t.
I’ll keep my distance from them. I can run patrols out here, just like Seth.
And I’m supposed to trust you with that?
She stretched her neck, leaning up on her toes, trying to be as tall as me as she stared into my eyes. I will not betray my pack.
I wanted to throw my head back and howl, like Seth had before. This isn’t your pack! This isn’t evena pack. This is just me, going off on my own! What is it with you Clearwaters? Why can’t you leave me alone?
Seth, just coming up behind us now, whined; I’d offended him. Great.
I’ve been helpful, haven’t I, Jake?
You haven’t madetoo much a nuisance of yourself, kid, but if you and Leah are a package deal—if the only way to get rid of her is for you to go home.… Well, can you blame me for wanting you gone?
Ugh, Leah, you ruin everything!
Yeah, I know,she told him, and the thought was loaded with the heaviness of her despair.
I felt the pain in the three little words, and it was more than I would’ve guessed. I didn’t want to feel that. I didn’t want to feel bad for her. Sure, the pack was rough on her, but she brought it all on herself with the bitterness that tainted her every thought and made being in her head a nightmare.
Seth was feeling guilty, too. Jake… You’re not really gonna send me away, are you? Leah’s not so bad. Really. I mean, with her here, we can push the perimeter out farther. And this puts Sam down to seven. There’s no way he’s going to mount an attack that outnumbered. It’s probably a good thing.…
You know I don’t want to lead a pack, Seth.
So don’t lead us,Leah offered.
I snorted. Sounds perfect to me. Run along home now.
Jake,Seth thought. I belong here. Ido like vampires. Cullens, anyway. They’re people to me, and I’m going to protect them, ’cause that’s what we’re supposed to do.
Maybe you belong, kid, but your sister doesn’t. And she’s going to go wherever you are—
I stopped short, because I saw something when I said that. Something Leah had been trying not to think.
Leah wasn’t going anywhere.
Thought this was about Seth,I thought sourly.
She flinched. Of course I’m here for Seth.
And to get away from Sam.
Her jaw clenched. I don’t have to explain myself to you. I just have to do what I’m told. I belong toyour pack, Jacob. The end.
I paced away from her, growling.
Crap. I was never going to get rid of her. As much as she disliked me, as much as she loathed the Cullens, as happy as she’d be to go kill all the vampires right now, as much as it pissed her off to have to protect them instead—none of that was anythingcompared to what she felt being free of Sam.
Leah didn’t like me, so it wasn’t such a chore having me wish she would disappear.
She loved Sam. Still. And having himwish she would disappear was more pain than she was willing to live with, now that she had a choice. She would have taken any other option. Even if it meant moving in with the Cullens as their lapdog.
I don’t know if I’d go that far,she thought. She tried to make the words tough, aggressive, but there were big cracks in her show. I’m sure I’d give killing myself a few good tries first.
Look, Leah…
No,you look, Jacob. Stop arguing with me, because it’s not going to do any good. I’ll stay out of your way, okay? I’ll do anything you want. Except go back to Sam’s pack and be the pathetic ex-girlfriend he can’t get away from. If you want me to leave—she sat back on her haunches and stared straight into my eyes— you’re going to have tomake me.
I snarled for a long, angry minute. I was beginning to feel some sympathy for Sam, despite what he had done to me, to Seth. No wonder he was always ordering the pack around. How else would you ever get anything done?
Seth, are you gonna get mad at me if I kill your sister?
He pretended to think about it for a minute. Well… yeah, probably.
I sighed.
Okay, then, Ms. Do-Anything-I-Want. Why don’t you make yourself useful by telling us what you know? What happened after we left last night?
Lots of howling. But you probably heard that part. It was so loud that it took us a while to figure out that we couldn’t hear either of you anymore. Sam was…Words failed her, but we could see it in our head. Both Seth and I cringed. After that, it was clear pretty quick that we were going to have to rethink things. Sam was planning to talk to the other Elders first thing this morning. We were supposed to meet up and figure out a game plan. I could tell he wasn’t going to mount another attack right away, though. Suicide at this point, with you and Seth AWOL and the bloodsuckers forewarned. I’m not sure what they’ll do, but I wouldn’t be wandering the forest alone if I was a leech. It’s open season on vamps now.
You decided to skip the meeting this morning?I asked.
When we split up for patrols last night, I asked permission to go home, to tell my mother what had happened—
Crap! You told Mom?Seth growled.
Seth, hold off on the sibling stuff for a sec. Go on, Leah.
So once I was human, I took a minute to think things through. Well, actually, I took all night. I bet the others think I fell asleep. But the whole two-separate-packs, two-separate-pack-minds thing gave me a lot to sift through. In the end, I weighed Seth’s safety and the, er, other benefits against the idea of turning traitor and sniffing vampire stink for who knows how long. You know what I decided. I left a note for my mom. I expect we’ll hear it when Sam finds out.…
Leah cocked an ear to the west.
Yeah, I expect we will,I agreed.
So that’s everything. What do we do now?she asked.
She and Seth both looked at me expectantly.
This was exactly the kind of thing I didn’t want to have to do.
I guess we just keep an eye out for now. That’s all wecan do. You should probably take a nap, Leah.
You’ve had as much sleep as I have.
Thought you were going to do what you were told?
Right. That’s going to get old,she grumbled, and then she yawned. Well, whatever. I don’t care.
I’ll run the border, Jake. I’m not tired at all.Seth was so glad I hadn’t forced them home, he was all but prancing with excitement.
Sure, sure. I’m going to go check in with the Cullens.
Seth took off along the new path worn into the damp earth. Leah looked after him thoughtfully.
Maybe a round or two before I crash.… Hey Seth, wanna see how many times I can lap you?
NO!
Barking out a low chuckle, Leah lunged into the woods after him.
I growled uselessly. So much for peace and quiet.
Leah was trying—for Leah. She kept her jibes to a minimum as she raced around the circuit, but it was impossible not to be aware of her smug mood. I thought of the whole “two’s company” saying. It didn’t really apply, because onewas plenty to my mind. But if there hadto be three of us, it was hard to think of anyone that I wouldn’t trade her for.
Paul?she suggested.
Maybe,I allowed.
She laughed to herself, too jittery and hyper to get offended. I wondered how long the buzz from dodging Sam’s pity would last.
That will be my goal, then—to be less annoying than Paul.
Yeah, work on that.
I changed into my other form when I was a few yards from the lawn. I hadn’t been planning to spend much time human here. But I hadn’t been planning to have Leah in my head, either. I pulled on my ragged shorts and started across the lawn.
The door opened before I got to the steps, and I was surprised to see Carlisle rather than Edward step outside to meet me—his face looked exhausted and defeated. For a second, my heart froze. I faltered to a stop, unable to speak.
“Are you all right, Jacob?” Carlisle asked.
“Is Bella?” I choked out.
“She’s… much the same as last night. Did I startle you? I’m sorry. Edward said you were coming in your human form, and I came out to greet you, as he didn’t want to leave her. She’s awake.”
And Edward didn’t want to lose any time with her, because he didn’t have much time left. Carlisle didn’t say the words out loud, but he might as well have.
It had been a while since I’d slept—since before my last patrol. I could really feel that now. I took a step forward, sat down on the porch steps, and slumped against the railing.
Moving whisper-quiet as only a vampire could, Carlisle took a seat on the same step, against the other railing.
“I didn’t get a chance to thank you last night, Jacob. You don’t know how much I appreciate your… compassion. I know your goal was to protect Bella, but I owe you the safety of the rest of my family as well. Edward told me what you had to do. . . .”
“Don’t mention it,” I muttered.
“If you prefer.”
We sat in silence. I could hear the others in the house. Emmett, Alice, and Jasper, speaking in low, serious voices upstairs. Esme humming tunelessly in another room. Rosalie and Edward breathing close by—I couldn’t tell which was which, but I could hear the difference in Bella’s labored panting. I could hear her heart, too. It seemed… uneven.
It was like fate was out to make me do everything I’d ever sworn I wouldn’t in the course of twenty-four hours. Here I was, hanging around, waiting for her to die.
I didn’t want to listen anymore. Talking was better than listening.
“She’s family to you?” I asked Carlisle. It had caught my notice before, when he’d said I’d helped the restof his family, too.
“Yes. Bella is already a daughter to me. A beloved daughter.”
“But you’re going to let her die.”
He was quiet long enough that I looked up. His face was very, very tired. I knew how he felt.
“I can imagine what you think of me for that,” he finally said. “But I can’t ignore her will. It wouldn’t be right to make such a choice for her, to force her.”
I wanted to be angry with him, but he was making it hard. It was like he was throwing my own words back at me, just scrambled up. They’d sounded right before, but they couldn’t be right now. Not with Bella dying. Still… I remembered how it felt to be broken on the ground under Sam—to have no choice but be involved in the murder of someone I loved. It wasn’t the same, though. Sam was wrong. And Bella loved things she shouldn’t.
“Do you think there’s any chance she’ll make it? I mean, as a vampire and all that. She told me about… about Esme.”
“I’d say there’s an even chance at this point,” he answered quietly. “I’ve seen vampire venom work miracles, but there are conditions that even venom cannot overcome. Her heart is working too hard now; if it should fail… there won’t be anything for me to do.”
Bella’s heartbeat throbbed and faltered, giving an agonizing emphasis to his words.
Maybe the planet had started turning backward. Maybe that would explain how everything was the opposite of what it had been yesterday—how I could be hoping for what had once seemed like the very worst thing in the world.
“What is that thing doing to her?” I whispered. “She was so much worse last night. I saw… the tubes and all that. Through the window.”
“The fetus isn’t compatible with her body. Too strong, for one thing, but she could probably endure that for a while. The bigger problem is that it won’t allow her to get the sustenance she needs. Her body is rejecting every form of nutrition. I’m trying to feed her intravenously, but she’s just not absorbing it. Everything about her condition is accelerated. I’m watching her—and not just her, but the fetus as well—starve to death by the hour. I can’t stop it and I can’t slow it down. I can’t figure out what it wants.” His weary voice broke at the end.
I felt the same way I had yesterday, when I’d seen the black stains across her stomach—furious, and a little crazy.
I clenched my hands into fists to control the shaking. I hated the thing that was hurting her. It wasn’t enough for the monster to beat her from the inside out. No, it was starving her, too. Probably just looking for something to sink its teeth into—a throat to suck dry. Since it wasn’t big enough to kill anyone else yet, it settled for sucking Bella’s life from her.
I could tell them exactly what it wanted: death and blood, blood and death.
My skin was all hot and prickly. I breathed slowly in and out, focusing on that to calm myself.
“I wish I could get a better idea of what exactly it is,” Carlisle murmured. “The fetus is well protected. I haven’t been able to produce an ultrasonic image. I doubt there is any way to get a needle through the amniotic sac, but Rosalie won’t agree to let me try, in any case.”
“A needle?” I mumbled. “What good would that do?”
“The more I know about the fetus, the better I can estimate what it will be capable of. What I wouldn’t give for even a little amniotic fluid. If I knew even the chromosomal count . . .”
“You’re losing me, Doc. Can you dumb it down?”
He chuckled once—even his laugh sounded exhausted. “Okay. How much biology have you taken? Did you study chromosomal pairs?”
“Think so. We have twenty-three, right?”
“Humans do.”
I blinked. “How many do you have?”
“Twenty-five.”
I frowned at my fists for a second. “What does that mean?”
“I thought it meant that our species were almost completely different. Less related than a lion and a house cat. But this new life—well, it suggests that we’re more genetically compatible than I’d thought.” He sighed sadly. “I didn’t know to warn them.”
I sighed, too. It had been easy to hate Edward for the same ignorance. I still hated him for it. It was just hard to feel the same way about Carlisle. Maybe because I wasn’t ten shades of jealous in Carlisle’s case.
“It might help to know what the count was—whether the fetus was closer to us or to her. To know what to expect.” Then he shrugged. “And maybe it wouldn’t help anything. I guess I just wish I had something to study, anything to do.”
“Wonder what my chromosomes are like,” I muttered randomly. I thought of those Olympic steroids tests again. Did they run DNA scans?
Carlisle coughed self-consciously. “You have twenty-four pairs, Jacob.”
I turned slowly to stare at him, raising my eyebrows.
He looked embarrassed. “I was… curious. I took the liberty when I was treating you last June.”
I thought about it for a second. “I guess that should piss me off. But I don’t really care.”
“I’m sorry. I should have asked.”
“S’okay, Doc. You didn’t mean any harm.”
“No, I promise you that I did notmean you any harm. It’s just that… I find your species fascinating. I suppose that the elements of vampiric nature have come to seem commonplace to me over the centuries. Your family’s divergence from humanity is much more interesting. Magical, almost.”
“Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo,” I mumbled. He was just like Bella with all the magic garbage.
Carlisle laughed another weary laugh.
Then we heard Edward’s voice inside the house, and we both paused to listen.
“I’ll be right back, Bella. I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment. Actually, Rosalie, would you mind accompanying me?” Edward sounded different. There was a little life in his dead voice. A spark of something. Not hope exactly, but maybe the desireto hope.
“What is it, Edward?” Bella asked hoarsely.
“Nothing you need to worry about, love. It will just take a second. Please, Rose?”
“Esme?” Rosalie called. “Can you mind Bella for me?”
I heard the whisper of wind as Esme flitted down the stairs.
“Of course,” she said.
Carlisle shifted, twisting to look expectantly at the door. Edward was through the door first, with Rosalie right on his heels. His face was, like his voice, no longer dead. He seemed intensely focused. Rosalie looked suspicious.
Edward shut the door behind her.
“Carlisle,” he murmured.
“What is it, Edward?”
“Perhaps we’ve been going about this the wrong way. I was listening to you and Jacob just now, and when you were speaking of what the… fetus wants, Jacob had an interesting thought.”
Me?What had Ithought? Besides my obvious hatred for the thing? At least I wasn’t alone in that. I could tell that Edward had a difficult time using a term as mild as fetus.
“We haven’t actually addressed thatangle,” Edward went on. “We’ve been trying to get Bella what she needs. And her body is accepting it about as well as one of ours would. Perhaps we should address the needs of the… fetus first. Maybe if we can satisfy it, we’ll be able to help her more effectively.”
“I’m not following you, Edward,” Carlisle said.
“Think about it, Carlisle. If that creature is more vampire than human, can’t you guess what it craves—what it’s not getting? Jacob did.”
I did? I ran through the conversation, trying to remember what thoughts I’d kept to myself. I remembered at the same time that Carlisle understood.
“Oh,” he said in a surprised tone. “You think it is… thirsty?”
Rosalie hissed under her breath. She wasn’t suspicious anymore. Her revoltingly perfect face was all lit up, her eyes wide with excitement. “Of course,” she muttered. “Carlisle, we have all that type O negative laid aside for Bella. It’s a good idea,” she added, not looking at me.
“Hmm.” Carlisle put his hand to his chin, lost in thought. “I wonder… And then, what would be the best way to administer. . . .”
Rosalie shook her head. “We don’t have time to be creative. I’d say we should start with the traditional way.”
“Wait a minute,” I whispered. “Just hold on. Are you—are you talking about making Bella drink blood?”
“It was your idea, dog,” Rosalie said, scowling at me without ever quite looking at me.
I ignored her and watched Carlisle. That same ghost of hope that had been in Edward’s face was now in the doctor’s eyes. He pursed his lips, speculating.
“That’s just . . .” I couldn’t find the right word.
“Monstrous?” Edward suggested. “Repulsive?”
“Pretty much.”
“But what if it helps her?” he whispered.
I shook my head angrily. “What are you gonna do, shove a tube down her throat?”
“I plan to ask her what she thinks. I just wanted to run it past Carlisle first.”
Rosalie nodded. “If you tell her it might help the baby, she’ll be willing to do anything. Even if we do have to feed them through a tube.”
I realized then—when I heard how her voice got all loveydovey as she said the word baby—that Blondie would be in line with anything that helped the little life-sucking monster. Was that what was going on, the mystery factor that was bonding the two of them? Was Rosalie after the kid?
From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward nod once, absently, not looking in my direction. But I knew he was answering my questions.
Huh. I wouldn’t have thought the ice-cold Barbie would have a maternal side. So much for protecting Bella—Rosalie’d probably jam the tube down Bella’s throat herself.
Edward’s mouth mashed into a hard line, and I knew I was right again.
“Well, we don’t have time to sit around discussing this,” Rosalie said impatiently. “What do you think, Carlisle? Can we try?”
Carlisle took a deep breath, and then he was on his feet. “We’ll ask Bella.”
Blondie smiled smugly—sure that, if it was up to Bella, she would get her way.
I dragged myself up from the stairs and followed after them as they disappeared into the house. I wasn’t sure why. Just morbid curiosity, maybe. It was like a horror movie. Monsters and blood all over the place.
Maybe I just couldn’t resist another hit of my dwindling drug supply.
Bella lay flat on the hospital bed, her belly a mountain under the sheet. She looked like wax—colorless and sort of see-through. You’d think she was already dead, except for the tiny movement of her chest, her shallow breathing. And then her eyes, following the four of us with exhausted suspicion.
The others were at her side already, flitting across the room with sudden darting motions. It was creepy to watch. I ambled along at a slow walk.
“What’s going on?” Bella demanded in a scratchy whisper. Her waxy hand twitched up—like she was trying to protect her balloon-shaped stomach.
“Jacob had an idea that might help you,” Carlisle said. I wished he would leave me out of it. I hadn’t suggested anything. Give the credit to her bloodsucking husband, where it belonged. “It won’t be… pleasant, but—”
“But it will help the baby,” Rosalie interrupted eagerly. “We’ve thought of a better way to feed him. Maybe.”
Bella’s eyelids fluttered. Then she coughed out a weak chuckle. “Not pleasant?” she whispered. “Gosh, that’ll be such a change.” She eyed the tube stuck into her arm and coughed again.
Blondie laughed with her.
The girl looked like she only had hours left, and she had to be in pain, but she was making jokes. So Bella. Trying to ease the tension, make it better for everyone else.
Edward stepped around Rosalie, no humor touching his intense expression. I was glad for that. It helped, just a little bit, that he was suffering worse than me. He took her hand, not the one that was still protecting her swollen belly.
“Bella, love, we’re going to ask you to do something monstrous,” he said, using the same adjectives he’d offered me. “Repulsive.”
Well, at least he was giving it to her straight.
She took a shallow, fluttery breath. “How bad?”
Carlisle answered. “We think the fetus might have an appetite closer to ours than to yours. We think it’s thirsty.”
She blinked. “Oh. Oh.”
“Your condition—both of your conditions—are deteriorating rapidly. We don’t have time to waste, to come up with more palatable ways to do this. The fastest way to test the theory—”
“I’ve got to drink it,” she whispered. She nodded slightly—barely enough energy for a little head bob. “I can do that. Practice for the future, right?” Her colorless lips stretched into a faint grin as she looked at Edward. He didn’t smile back.
Rosalie started tapping her toe impatiently. The sound was really irritating. I wondered what she would do if I threw her through a wall right now.
“So, who’s going to catch me a grizzly bear?” Bella whispered.
Carlisle and Edward exchanged a quick glance. Rosalie stopped tapping.
“What?” Bella asked.
“It will be a more effective test if we don’t cut corners, Bella,” Carlisle said.
“ Ifthe fetus is craving blood,” Edward explained, “it’s not craving animal blood.”
“It won’t make a difference to you, Bella. Don’t think about it,” Rosalie encouraged.
Bella’s eyes widened. “Who?” she breathed, and her gaze flickered to me.
“I’m not here as a donor, Bells,” I grumbled. “’Sides, it’s human blood that thing’s after, and I don’t think mine applies—”
“We have blood on hand,” Rosalie told her, talking over me before I’d finished, like I wasn’t there. “For you—just in case. Don’t worry about anything at all. It’s going to be fine. I have a good feeling about this, Bella. I think the baby will be so much better.”
Bella’s hand ran across her stomach.
“Well,” she rasped, barely audible. “ I’mstarving, so I’ll bet he is, too.” Trying to make another joke. “Let’s go for it. My first vampire act.”
The sun had risen behind the clouds an hour ago—the forest was gray now instead of black. Seth’d curled up and passed out around one, and I’d woken him at dawn to trade off. Even after running all night, I was having a hard time making my brain shut up long enough to fall asleep, but Seth’s rhythmic run was helping. One, two-three, four, one, two-three, four— dum dum-dum dum—dull paw thuds against the damp earth, over and over as he made the wide circuit surrounding the Cullens’ land. We were already wearing a trail into the ground. Seth’s thoughts were empty, just a blur of green and gray as the woods flew past him. It was restful. It helped to fill my head with what he saw rather than letting my own images take center stage.
And then Seth’s piercing howl broke the early morning quiet.
I lurched up from the ground, my front legs pulling toward a sprint before my hind legs were off the ground. I raced toward the place where Seth had frozen, listening with him to the tread of paws running in our direction.
Morning, boys.
A shocked whine broke through Seth’s teeth. And then we both snarled as we read deeper into the new thoughts.
Oh, man! Goaway , Leah!Seth groaned.
I stopped when I got to Seth, head thrown back, ready to howl again—this time to complain.
Cut the noise, Seth.
Right. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!He whimpered and pawed at the ground, scratching deep furrows in the dirt.
Leah trotted into view, her small gray body weaving through the underbrush.
Stop whining, Seth. You’re such a baby.
I growled at her, my ears flattening against my skull. She skipped back a step automatically.
What do you think you’re doing, Leah?
She huffed a heavy sigh. It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? I’m joining your crappy little renegade pack. The vampires’ guard dogs.She barked out a low, sarcastic laugh.
No, you’re not. Turn around before I rip out one of your hamstrings.
Like you could catch me.She grinned and coiled her body for launch. Wanna race, O fearless leader?
I took a deep breath, filling my lungs until my sides bulged. Then, when I was sure I wasn’t going to scream, I exhaled in a gust.
Seth, go let the Cullens know that it’s just your stupid sister—I thought the words as harshly as possible. I’ll deal with this.
On it!Seth was only too happy to leave. He vanished toward the house.
Leah whined, and she leaned after him, the fur on her shoulders rising. You’re just going to let him run off to the vampiresalone?
I’m pretty sure he’d rather they took him out than spend another minute with you.
Shut up, Jacob. Oops, I’m sorry—I meant, shut up, most high Alpha.
Why thehell are you here?
You think I’m just going to sit home while my little brother volunteers as a vampire chew toy?
Seth doesn’t want or need your protection. In fact, no one wants you here.
Oooh, ouch, that’s gonna leave ahuge mark. Ha,she barked. Tell me whodoes want me around, and I’m outta here.
So this isn’t about Seth at all, is it?
Of course it is. I’m just pointing out that being unwanted is not a first for me. Not really a motivating factor, if you know what I mean.
I gritted my teeth and tried to get my head straight.
Did Sam send you?
If I was here on Sam’s errand, you wouldn’t be able to hear me. My allegiance is no longer with him.
I listened carefully to the thoughts mixed in with the words. If this was a diversion or a ploy, I had to be alert enough to see through it. But there was nothing. Her declaration was nothing but the truth. Unwilling, almost despairing truth.
You’re loyal tome now?I asked with deep sarcasm. Uh-huh. Right.
My choices are limited. I’m working with the options I’ve got. Trust me, I’m not enjoying this any more than you are.
That wasn’t true. There was an edgy kind of excitement in her mind. She was unhappy about this, but she was also riding some weird high. I searched her mind, trying to understand.
She bristled, resenting the intrusion. I usually tried to tune Leah out—I’d never tried to make sense of her before.
We were interrupted by Seth, thinking his explanation at Edward. Leah whined anxiously. Edward’s face, framed in the same window as last night, showed no reaction to the news. It was a blank face, dead.
Wow, he looks bad,Seth muttered to himself. The vampire showed no reaction to that thought, either. He disappeared into the house. Seth pivoted and headed back out to us. Leah relaxed a little.
What’s going on?Leah asked. Catch me up to speed.
There’s no point. You’re not staying.
Actually, Mr. Alpha, I am. Because since apparently I have to belong tosomeone —and don’t think I haven’t tried breaking off on my own, you know yourself how wellthat doesn’t work—I choose you.
Leah, you don’t like me. I don’t like you.
Thank you, Captain Obvious. That doesn’t matter to me. I’m staying with Seth.
You don’t like vampires. Don’t you think that’s a little conflict of interest right there?
You don’t like vampires either.
But Iam committed to this alliance. You aren’t.
I’ll keep my distance from them. I can run patrols out here, just like Seth.
And I’m supposed to trust you with that?
She stretched her neck, leaning up on her toes, trying to be as tall as me as she stared into my eyes. I will not betray my pack.
I wanted to throw my head back and howl, like Seth had before. This isn’t your pack! This isn’t evena pack. This is just me, going off on my own! What is it with you Clearwaters? Why can’t you leave me alone?
Seth, just coming up behind us now, whined; I’d offended him. Great.
I’ve been helpful, haven’t I, Jake?
You haven’t madetoo much a nuisance of yourself, kid, but if you and Leah are a package deal—if the only way to get rid of her is for you to go home.… Well, can you blame me for wanting you gone?
Ugh, Leah, you ruin everything!
Yeah, I know,she told him, and the thought was loaded with the heaviness of her despair.
I felt the pain in the three little words, and it was more than I would’ve guessed. I didn’t want to feel that. I didn’t want to feel bad for her. Sure, the pack was rough on her, but she brought it all on herself with the bitterness that tainted her every thought and made being in her head a nightmare.
Seth was feeling guilty, too. Jake… You’re not really gonna send me away, are you? Leah’s not so bad. Really. I mean, with her here, we can push the perimeter out farther. And this puts Sam down to seven. There’s no way he’s going to mount an attack that outnumbered. It’s probably a good thing.…
You know I don’t want to lead a pack, Seth.
So don’t lead us,Leah offered.
I snorted. Sounds perfect to me. Run along home now.
Jake,Seth thought. I belong here. Ido like vampires. Cullens, anyway. They’re people to me, and I’m going to protect them, ’cause that’s what we’re supposed to do.
Maybe you belong, kid, but your sister doesn’t. And she’s going to go wherever you are—
I stopped short, because I saw something when I said that. Something Leah had been trying not to think.
Leah wasn’t going anywhere.
Thought this was about Seth,I thought sourly.
She flinched. Of course I’m here for Seth.
And to get away from Sam.
Her jaw clenched. I don’t have to explain myself to you. I just have to do what I’m told. I belong toyour pack, Jacob. The end.
I paced away from her, growling.
Crap. I was never going to get rid of her. As much as she disliked me, as much as she loathed the Cullens, as happy as she’d be to go kill all the vampires right now, as much as it pissed her off to have to protect them instead—none of that was anythingcompared to what she felt being free of Sam.
Leah didn’t like me, so it wasn’t such a chore having me wish she would disappear.
She loved Sam. Still. And having himwish she would disappear was more pain than she was willing to live with, now that she had a choice. She would have taken any other option. Even if it meant moving in with the Cullens as their lapdog.
I don’t know if I’d go that far,she thought. She tried to make the words tough, aggressive, but there were big cracks in her show. I’m sure I’d give killing myself a few good tries first.
Look, Leah…
No,you look, Jacob. Stop arguing with me, because it’s not going to do any good. I’ll stay out of your way, okay? I’ll do anything you want. Except go back to Sam’s pack and be the pathetic ex-girlfriend he can’t get away from. If you want me to leave—she sat back on her haunches and stared straight into my eyes— you’re going to have tomake me.
I snarled for a long, angry minute. I was beginning to feel some sympathy for Sam, despite what he had done to me, to Seth. No wonder he was always ordering the pack around. How else would you ever get anything done?
Seth, are you gonna get mad at me if I kill your sister?
He pretended to think about it for a minute. Well… yeah, probably.
I sighed.
Okay, then, Ms. Do-Anything-I-Want. Why don’t you make yourself useful by telling us what you know? What happened after we left last night?
Lots of howling. But you probably heard that part. It was so loud that it took us a while to figure out that we couldn’t hear either of you anymore. Sam was…Words failed her, but we could see it in our head. Both Seth and I cringed. After that, it was clear pretty quick that we were going to have to rethink things. Sam was planning to talk to the other Elders first thing this morning. We were supposed to meet up and figure out a game plan. I could tell he wasn’t going to mount another attack right away, though. Suicide at this point, with you and Seth AWOL and the bloodsuckers forewarned. I’m not sure what they’ll do, but I wouldn’t be wandering the forest alone if I was a leech. It’s open season on vamps now.
You decided to skip the meeting this morning?I asked.
When we split up for patrols last night, I asked permission to go home, to tell my mother what had happened—
Crap! You told Mom?Seth growled.
Seth, hold off on the sibling stuff for a sec. Go on, Leah.
So once I was human, I took a minute to think things through. Well, actually, I took all night. I bet the others think I fell asleep. But the whole two-separate-packs, two-separate-pack-minds thing gave me a lot to sift through. In the end, I weighed Seth’s safety and the, er, other benefits against the idea of turning traitor and sniffing vampire stink for who knows how long. You know what I decided. I left a note for my mom. I expect we’ll hear it when Sam finds out.…
Leah cocked an ear to the west.
Yeah, I expect we will,I agreed.
So that’s everything. What do we do now?she asked.
She and Seth both looked at me expectantly.
This was exactly the kind of thing I didn’t want to have to do.
I guess we just keep an eye out for now. That’s all wecan do. You should probably take a nap, Leah.
You’ve had as much sleep as I have.
Thought you were going to do what you were told?
Right. That’s going to get old,she grumbled, and then she yawned. Well, whatever. I don’t care.
I’ll run the border, Jake. I’m not tired at all.Seth was so glad I hadn’t forced them home, he was all but prancing with excitement.
Sure, sure. I’m going to go check in with the Cullens.
Seth took off along the new path worn into the damp earth. Leah looked after him thoughtfully.
Maybe a round or two before I crash.… Hey Seth, wanna see how many times I can lap you?
NO!
Barking out a low chuckle, Leah lunged into the woods after him.
I growled uselessly. So much for peace and quiet.
Leah was trying—for Leah. She kept her jibes to a minimum as she raced around the circuit, but it was impossible not to be aware of her smug mood. I thought of the whole “two’s company” saying. It didn’t really apply, because onewas plenty to my mind. But if there hadto be three of us, it was hard to think of anyone that I wouldn’t trade her for.
Paul?she suggested.
Maybe,I allowed.
She laughed to herself, too jittery and hyper to get offended. I wondered how long the buzz from dodging Sam’s pity would last.
That will be my goal, then—to be less annoying than Paul.
Yeah, work on that.
I changed into my other form when I was a few yards from the lawn. I hadn’t been planning to spend much time human here. But I hadn’t been planning to have Leah in my head, either. I pulled on my ragged shorts and started across the lawn.
The door opened before I got to the steps, and I was surprised to see Carlisle rather than Edward step outside to meet me—his face looked exhausted and defeated. For a second, my heart froze. I faltered to a stop, unable to speak.
“Are you all right, Jacob?” Carlisle asked.
“Is Bella?” I choked out.
“She’s… much the same as last night. Did I startle you? I’m sorry. Edward said you were coming in your human form, and I came out to greet you, as he didn’t want to leave her. She’s awake.”
And Edward didn’t want to lose any time with her, because he didn’t have much time left. Carlisle didn’t say the words out loud, but he might as well have.
It had been a while since I’d slept—since before my last patrol. I could really feel that now. I took a step forward, sat down on the porch steps, and slumped against the railing.
Moving whisper-quiet as only a vampire could, Carlisle took a seat on the same step, against the other railing.
“I didn’t get a chance to thank you last night, Jacob. You don’t know how much I appreciate your… compassion. I know your goal was to protect Bella, but I owe you the safety of the rest of my family as well. Edward told me what you had to do. . . .”
“Don’t mention it,” I muttered.
“If you prefer.”
We sat in silence. I could hear the others in the house. Emmett, Alice, and Jasper, speaking in low, serious voices upstairs. Esme humming tunelessly in another room. Rosalie and Edward breathing close by—I couldn’t tell which was which, but I could hear the difference in Bella’s labored panting. I could hear her heart, too. It seemed… uneven.
It was like fate was out to make me do everything I’d ever sworn I wouldn’t in the course of twenty-four hours. Here I was, hanging around, waiting for her to die.
I didn’t want to listen anymore. Talking was better than listening.
“She’s family to you?” I asked Carlisle. It had caught my notice before, when he’d said I’d helped the restof his family, too.
“Yes. Bella is already a daughter to me. A beloved daughter.”
“But you’re going to let her die.”
He was quiet long enough that I looked up. His face was very, very tired. I knew how he felt.
“I can imagine what you think of me for that,” he finally said. “But I can’t ignore her will. It wouldn’t be right to make such a choice for her, to force her.”
I wanted to be angry with him, but he was making it hard. It was like he was throwing my own words back at me, just scrambled up. They’d sounded right before, but they couldn’t be right now. Not with Bella dying. Still… I remembered how it felt to be broken on the ground under Sam—to have no choice but be involved in the murder of someone I loved. It wasn’t the same, though. Sam was wrong. And Bella loved things she shouldn’t.
“Do you think there’s any chance she’ll make it? I mean, as a vampire and all that. She told me about… about Esme.”
“I’d say there’s an even chance at this point,” he answered quietly. “I’ve seen vampire venom work miracles, but there are conditions that even venom cannot overcome. Her heart is working too hard now; if it should fail… there won’t be anything for me to do.”
Bella’s heartbeat throbbed and faltered, giving an agonizing emphasis to his words.
Maybe the planet had started turning backward. Maybe that would explain how everything was the opposite of what it had been yesterday—how I could be hoping for what had once seemed like the very worst thing in the world.
“What is that thing doing to her?” I whispered. “She was so much worse last night. I saw… the tubes and all that. Through the window.”
“The fetus isn’t compatible with her body. Too strong, for one thing, but she could probably endure that for a while. The bigger problem is that it won’t allow her to get the sustenance she needs. Her body is rejecting every form of nutrition. I’m trying to feed her intravenously, but she’s just not absorbing it. Everything about her condition is accelerated. I’m watching her—and not just her, but the fetus as well—starve to death by the hour. I can’t stop it and I can’t slow it down. I can’t figure out what it wants.” His weary voice broke at the end.
I felt the same way I had yesterday, when I’d seen the black stains across her stomach—furious, and a little crazy.
I clenched my hands into fists to control the shaking. I hated the thing that was hurting her. It wasn’t enough for the monster to beat her from the inside out. No, it was starving her, too. Probably just looking for something to sink its teeth into—a throat to suck dry. Since it wasn’t big enough to kill anyone else yet, it settled for sucking Bella’s life from her.
I could tell them exactly what it wanted: death and blood, blood and death.
My skin was all hot and prickly. I breathed slowly in and out, focusing on that to calm myself.
“I wish I could get a better idea of what exactly it is,” Carlisle murmured. “The fetus is well protected. I haven’t been able to produce an ultrasonic image. I doubt there is any way to get a needle through the amniotic sac, but Rosalie won’t agree to let me try, in any case.”
“A needle?” I mumbled. “What good would that do?”
“The more I know about the fetus, the better I can estimate what it will be capable of. What I wouldn’t give for even a little amniotic fluid. If I knew even the chromosomal count . . .”
“You’re losing me, Doc. Can you dumb it down?”
He chuckled once—even his laugh sounded exhausted. “Okay. How much biology have you taken? Did you study chromosomal pairs?”
“Think so. We have twenty-three, right?”
“Humans do.”
I blinked. “How many do you have?”
“Twenty-five.”
I frowned at my fists for a second. “What does that mean?”
“I thought it meant that our species were almost completely different. Less related than a lion and a house cat. But this new life—well, it suggests that we’re more genetically compatible than I’d thought.” He sighed sadly. “I didn’t know to warn them.”
I sighed, too. It had been easy to hate Edward for the same ignorance. I still hated him for it. It was just hard to feel the same way about Carlisle. Maybe because I wasn’t ten shades of jealous in Carlisle’s case.
“It might help to know what the count was—whether the fetus was closer to us or to her. To know what to expect.” Then he shrugged. “And maybe it wouldn’t help anything. I guess I just wish I had something to study, anything to do.”
“Wonder what my chromosomes are like,” I muttered randomly. I thought of those Olympic steroids tests again. Did they run DNA scans?
Carlisle coughed self-consciously. “You have twenty-four pairs, Jacob.”
I turned slowly to stare at him, raising my eyebrows.
He looked embarrassed. “I was… curious. I took the liberty when I was treating you last June.”
I thought about it for a second. “I guess that should piss me off. But I don’t really care.”
“I’m sorry. I should have asked.”
“S’okay, Doc. You didn’t mean any harm.”
“No, I promise you that I did notmean you any harm. It’s just that… I find your species fascinating. I suppose that the elements of vampiric nature have come to seem commonplace to me over the centuries. Your family’s divergence from humanity is much more interesting. Magical, almost.”
“Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo,” I mumbled. He was just like Bella with all the magic garbage.
Carlisle laughed another weary laugh.
Then we heard Edward’s voice inside the house, and we both paused to listen.
“I’ll be right back, Bella. I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment. Actually, Rosalie, would you mind accompanying me?” Edward sounded different. There was a little life in his dead voice. A spark of something. Not hope exactly, but maybe the desireto hope.
“What is it, Edward?” Bella asked hoarsely.
“Nothing you need to worry about, love. It will just take a second. Please, Rose?”
“Esme?” Rosalie called. “Can you mind Bella for me?”
I heard the whisper of wind as Esme flitted down the stairs.
“Of course,” she said.
Carlisle shifted, twisting to look expectantly at the door. Edward was through the door first, with Rosalie right on his heels. His face was, like his voice, no longer dead. He seemed intensely focused. Rosalie looked suspicious.
Edward shut the door behind her.
“Carlisle,” he murmured.
“What is it, Edward?”
“Perhaps we’ve been going about this the wrong way. I was listening to you and Jacob just now, and when you were speaking of what the… fetus wants, Jacob had an interesting thought.”
Me?What had Ithought? Besides my obvious hatred for the thing? At least I wasn’t alone in that. I could tell that Edward had a difficult time using a term as mild as fetus.
“We haven’t actually addressed thatangle,” Edward went on. “We’ve been trying to get Bella what she needs. And her body is accepting it about as well as one of ours would. Perhaps we should address the needs of the… fetus first. Maybe if we can satisfy it, we’ll be able to help her more effectively.”
“I’m not following you, Edward,” Carlisle said.
“Think about it, Carlisle. If that creature is more vampire than human, can’t you guess what it craves—what it’s not getting? Jacob did.”
I did? I ran through the conversation, trying to remember what thoughts I’d kept to myself. I remembered at the same time that Carlisle understood.
“Oh,” he said in a surprised tone. “You think it is… thirsty?”
Rosalie hissed under her breath. She wasn’t suspicious anymore. Her revoltingly perfect face was all lit up, her eyes wide with excitement. “Of course,” she muttered. “Carlisle, we have all that type O negative laid aside for Bella. It’s a good idea,” she added, not looking at me.
“Hmm.” Carlisle put his hand to his chin, lost in thought. “I wonder… And then, what would be the best way to administer. . . .”
Rosalie shook her head. “We don’t have time to be creative. I’d say we should start with the traditional way.”
“Wait a minute,” I whispered. “Just hold on. Are you—are you talking about making Bella drink blood?”
“It was your idea, dog,” Rosalie said, scowling at me without ever quite looking at me.
I ignored her and watched Carlisle. That same ghost of hope that had been in Edward’s face was now in the doctor’s eyes. He pursed his lips, speculating.
“That’s just . . .” I couldn’t find the right word.
“Monstrous?” Edward suggested. “Repulsive?”
“Pretty much.”
“But what if it helps her?” he whispered.
I shook my head angrily. “What are you gonna do, shove a tube down her throat?”
“I plan to ask her what she thinks. I just wanted to run it past Carlisle first.”
Rosalie nodded. “If you tell her it might help the baby, she’ll be willing to do anything. Even if we do have to feed them through a tube.”
I realized then—when I heard how her voice got all loveydovey as she said the word baby—that Blondie would be in line with anything that helped the little life-sucking monster. Was that what was going on, the mystery factor that was bonding the two of them? Was Rosalie after the kid?
From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward nod once, absently, not looking in my direction. But I knew he was answering my questions.
Huh. I wouldn’t have thought the ice-cold Barbie would have a maternal side. So much for protecting Bella—Rosalie’d probably jam the tube down Bella’s throat herself.
Edward’s mouth mashed into a hard line, and I knew I was right again.
“Well, we don’t have time to sit around discussing this,” Rosalie said impatiently. “What do you think, Carlisle? Can we try?”
Carlisle took a deep breath, and then he was on his feet. “We’ll ask Bella.”
Blondie smiled smugly—sure that, if it was up to Bella, she would get her way.
I dragged myself up from the stairs and followed after them as they disappeared into the house. I wasn’t sure why. Just morbid curiosity, maybe. It was like a horror movie. Monsters and blood all over the place.
Maybe I just couldn’t resist another hit of my dwindling drug supply.
Bella lay flat on the hospital bed, her belly a mountain under the sheet. She looked like wax—colorless and sort of see-through. You’d think she was already dead, except for the tiny movement of her chest, her shallow breathing. And then her eyes, following the four of us with exhausted suspicion.
The others were at her side already, flitting across the room with sudden darting motions. It was creepy to watch. I ambled along at a slow walk.
“What’s going on?” Bella demanded in a scratchy whisper. Her waxy hand twitched up—like she was trying to protect her balloon-shaped stomach.
“Jacob had an idea that might help you,” Carlisle said. I wished he would leave me out of it. I hadn’t suggested anything. Give the credit to her bloodsucking husband, where it belonged. “It won’t be… pleasant, but—”
“But it will help the baby,” Rosalie interrupted eagerly. “We’ve thought of a better way to feed him. Maybe.”
Bella’s eyelids fluttered. Then she coughed out a weak chuckle. “Not pleasant?” she whispered. “Gosh, that’ll be such a change.” She eyed the tube stuck into her arm and coughed again.
Blondie laughed with her.
The girl looked like she only had hours left, and she had to be in pain, but she was making jokes. So Bella. Trying to ease the tension, make it better for everyone else.
Edward stepped around Rosalie, no humor touching his intense expression. I was glad for that. It helped, just a little bit, that he was suffering worse than me. He took her hand, not the one that was still protecting her swollen belly.
“Bella, love, we’re going to ask you to do something monstrous,” he said, using the same adjectives he’d offered me. “Repulsive.”
Well, at least he was giving it to her straight.
She took a shallow, fluttery breath. “How bad?”
Carlisle answered. “We think the fetus might have an appetite closer to ours than to yours. We think it’s thirsty.”
She blinked. “Oh. Oh.”
“Your condition—both of your conditions—are deteriorating rapidly. We don’t have time to waste, to come up with more palatable ways to do this. The fastest way to test the theory—”
“I’ve got to drink it,” she whispered. She nodded slightly—barely enough energy for a little head bob. “I can do that. Practice for the future, right?” Her colorless lips stretched into a faint grin as she looked at Edward. He didn’t smile back.
Rosalie started tapping her toe impatiently. The sound was really irritating. I wondered what she would do if I threw her through a wall right now.
“So, who’s going to catch me a grizzly bear?” Bella whispered.
Carlisle and Edward exchanged a quick glance. Rosalie stopped tapping.
“What?” Bella asked.
“It will be a more effective test if we don’t cut corners, Bella,” Carlisle said.
“ Ifthe fetus is craving blood,” Edward explained, “it’s not craving animal blood.”
“It won’t make a difference to you, Bella. Don’t think about it,” Rosalie encouraged.
Bella’s eyes widened. “Who?” she breathed, and her gaze flickered to me.
“I’m not here as a donor, Bells,” I grumbled. “’Sides, it’s human blood that thing’s after, and I don’t think mine applies—”
“We have blood on hand,” Rosalie told her, talking over me before I’d finished, like I wasn’t there. “For you—just in case. Don’t worry about anything at all. It’s going to be fine. I have a good feeling about this, Bella. I think the baby will be so much better.”
Bella’s hand ran across her stomach.
“Well,” she rasped, barely audible. “ I’mstarving, so I’ll bet he is, too.” Trying to make another joke. “Let’s go for it. My first vampire act.”
13 GOOD THING I’VE GOT A STRONG STOMACH
Carlisle and Rosalie were off in a flash, darting upstairs. I could hear them debating whether they should warm it up for her. Ugh. I wondered what all house-of-horrors stuff they kept around here. Fridge full of blood, check. What else? Torture chamber? Coffin room?
Edward stayed, holding Bella’s hand. His face was dead again. He didn’t seem to have the energy to keep up even that little hint of hope he’d had before. They stared into each other’s eyes, but not in a gooey way. It was like they were having a conversation. Kind of reminded me of Sam and Emily.
No, it wasn’t gooey, but that only made it harder to watch.
I knew what it was like for Leah, having to see that all the time. Having to hear it in Sam’s head. Of course we all felt bad for her, we weren’t monsters—in that sense, anyway. But I guess we’d blamed her for how she handled it. Lashing out at everyone, trying to make us all as miserable as she was.
I would never blame her again. How could anyone help spreading this kind of misery around? How could anyone nottry to ease some of the burden by shoving a little piece of it off on someone else?
And if it meant that I had to have a pack, how could I blame her for taking my freedom? I would do the same. If there was a way to escape this pain, I’d take it, too.
Rosalie darted downstairs after a second, flying through the room like a sharp breeze, stirring up the burning smell. She stopped inside the kitchen, and I heard the creak of a cupboard door.
“Not clear, Rosalie,” Edward murmured. He rolled his eyes.
Bella looked curious, but Edward just shook his head at her.
Rosalie blew back through the room and disappeared again.
“This was your idea?” Bella whispered, her voice rough as she strained to make it loud enough for me to hear. Forgetting that I could hear just fine. I kind of liked how, a lot of the time, she seemed to forget that I wasn’t completely human. I moved closer, so that she wouldn’t have to work so hard.
Edward stayed, holding Bella’s hand. His face was dead again. He didn’t seem to have the energy to keep up even that little hint of hope he’d had before. They stared into each other’s eyes, but not in a gooey way. It was like they were having a conversation. Kind of reminded me of Sam and Emily.
No, it wasn’t gooey, but that only made it harder to watch.
I knew what it was like for Leah, having to see that all the time. Having to hear it in Sam’s head. Of course we all felt bad for her, we weren’t monsters—in that sense, anyway. But I guess we’d blamed her for how she handled it. Lashing out at everyone, trying to make us all as miserable as she was.
I would never blame her again. How could anyone help spreading this kind of misery around? How could anyone nottry to ease some of the burden by shoving a little piece of it off on someone else?
And if it meant that I had to have a pack, how could I blame her for taking my freedom? I would do the same. If there was a way to escape this pain, I’d take it, too.
Rosalie darted downstairs after a second, flying through the room like a sharp breeze, stirring up the burning smell. She stopped inside the kitchen, and I heard the creak of a cupboard door.
“Not clear, Rosalie,” Edward murmured. He rolled his eyes.
Bella looked curious, but Edward just shook his head at her.
Rosalie blew back through the room and disappeared again.
“This was your idea?” Bella whispered, her voice rough as she strained to make it loud enough for me to hear. Forgetting that I could hear just fine. I kind of liked how, a lot of the time, she seemed to forget that I wasn’t completely human. I moved closer, so that she wouldn’t have to work so hard.