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On this particular evening he began his journey in a westerly direction, toward the hidden sea. There was a good crystal frost in the air; it cut the nose and made the lungs blaze like a Christmas tree inside; you could feel the cold light going on and off, all the branches filled with invisible snow. He listened to the faint push of his soft shoes through autumn leaves with satisfaction, and whistled a cold quiet whistle between his teeth, occasionally picking up a leaf as he passed, examining its skeletal pattern in the infrequent lamplights as he went on, smelling its rusty smell.
"Hello, in there," he whispered to every house on every side as he moved. "What's up tonight on Channel 4, Channel 7, Channel 9? Where are the cowboys rushing, and do I see the United States Cavalry over the next hill to the rescue?"
The street was silent and long and empty, with only his shadow moving like the shadow of a hawk in mid-country. If he closed his eyes and stood very still, frozen, he could imagine himself upon the center of a plain, a wintry, windless Arizona desert with no house in a thousand miles, and only dry river beds, the streets, for company.
"What is it now?" he asked the houses, noticing his wrist watch. "Eight-thirty P.M.? Time for a dozen assorted murders? A quiz? A revue? A comedian falling off the stage?"
Was that a murmur of laughter from within a moon-white house? He hesitated, but went on when nothing more happened. He stumbled over a particularly uneven section of sidewalk. The cement was vanishing under flowers and grass. In ten years of walking by night or day, for thousands of miles, he had never met another person walking, not one in all that time,
He came to a cloverleaf intersection which stood silent where two main highways crossed the town. During the day it was a thunderous surge of cars. the gas stations open, a great insect rustling and a ceaseless jockeying for position as the scarab-beetles, a faint incense puttering from their exhausts, skimmed homeward to the far directions. But now these highways, too, were like streams in a dry season, all stone and bed and moon radiance.
He turned back on a side street, circling around toward his home. He was within a block of his destination when the lone car turned a corner quite suddenly and flashed a fierce white cone of light upon him. He stood entranced, not unlike a night moth, stunned by the illumination, and then drawn toward it.
A metallic voice called to him:
"Stand still. Stay where you are! Don't move!"
He halted.
"Put up your hands!"
"But -" he said.
"Your hands up! Or we'll shoot!"
The police, of course, but what a rare, incredible thing, in a city of three million, there was only one police car left, wasn't that conect? Ever since a year ago, 2052, the election year, the force had been cut down from three cars to one. Crime was ebbing; there was no need now for the police, save for this one lone car wandering and wandering the empty streets.
"Your name?" said the police car in a metallic whisper.
He couldn't see the men in it for the bright light in his eyes.
"Leonard Mead," he said.
"Speak up!"
"Leonard Mead!"
"Business or profession?"
"I guess you'd call me a writer."
"No profession," said the police car, as if talking to itself. The light held him fixed, like a museum specimen, needle thrust through chest.
"You might say that," said Mr.Mead. He hadn't written in years. Magazines and books didn't sell any more. Everything went on in the tomb-like houses at night now, he thought, continuing his fancy. The tombs, ill-lit by television light, where the people sat like the dead, the gray or multi-coloured lights touching their faces, but never really touching them.
"No profession," said the phonograph voice, hissing. "What are you doing out?"
"Walking," said Leonard Mead.
"Walking!"
"Just walking," he said simply, but his face felt cold.
"Walking, just walking, walking?"
"Yes, sir."
"Walking where? For what?"
"Walking for air. Walking to see."
"Your address!"
"Eleven South Saint James Street."
"And there is air in your house, you have an air conditioner, Mr.Mead?"
"Yes."
"And you have a viewing screen in your house to see with?"
"No."
"No?" There was a crackling quiet that in itself was an accusation.
"Are you married, Mr.Mead?"
"No."
"Not married," said the police voice behind the fiery beam. The moon was high and clear among the stars and the houses were gray and silent.
"Nobody wanted me," said Leonard Mead with a smile.
"Don't speak unless you're spoken to!"
Leonard Mead waited in the cold night.
"Just walking, Mr.Mead?"
"Yes."
"But you haven't explained for what purpose."
"I explained; for air, and to see, and just to walk."
"Have you done this often?"
"Every night for years."
The police car sat in the center of the street with its radio throat faintly humming.
"Well, Mr.Mead," it said.
"Is that all?" he asked politely.
"Yes," said the voice. "Here." There was a sigh, a pop. The back door of the police car sprang wide. "Get in."
"Wait a minute, I haven't done anything!"
"Get in."
"I protest!"
"Mr.Mead."
He walked like a man suddenly drunk. As he passed the front window of the car he looked in. As he had expected, there was no one in the front seat, no one in the car at all.
"Get in."
He put his hand to the door and peered into the back seat, which was a little cell, a little black jail with bars. It smelled of riveted steel. It smelled of harsh antiseptic; it smelled too clean and hard and metallic. There was nothing soft there.
"Now if you had a wife to give you an alibi," said the iron voice. "But -"
"Where are you taking me?"
The car hesitated, or rather gave a faint whirring click, as if information, somewhere, was dropping card by punch-slotted card under electric eyes. "To the Psychiatric Center for Research on Regressive Tendencies."
He got in. The door shut with a soft thud. The police car rolled through the night avenues, flashing its dim lights ahead.
They passed one house on one street a moment later, one house in an entire city of houses that were dark, but this one particular house had all of its electric lights brightly lit, every window a loud yellow illumination, square and warm in the cool darkness.
"That's my house," said Leonard Mead.
No one answered him.
The car moved down the empty river-bed streets and off away, leaving the empty streets with the empty sidewalks, and no sound and no motion all the rest of the chill November night.
The Pedestrian 1951( Пешеход)
Больше всего на свете Леонард Мид любил выйти в тишину, что туманным ноябрьским вечером, часам к восьми, окутывает город, и – руки в карманы – шагать сквозь тишину по неровному асфальту тротуаров, стараясь не наступить на проросшую из трещин траву. Остановясь на перекрестке, он всматривался в длинные улицы, озаренные луной, и решал, в какую сторону пойти, – а впрочем, невелика разница: ведь а этом мире, в лето от Рождества Христова две тысячи пятьдесят третье, он один или все равно что один; и наконец он решался, выбирал дорогу и шагал, и перед ним, точно дым сигары, клубился в морозном воздухе пар его дыхания.
Иногда он шел так часами, отмеряя милю за милей, и возвращался только в полночь. На ходу он оглядывал дома и домики с темными окнами – казалось, идешь по кладбищу, и лишь изредка, точно светлячки, мерцают за окнами слабые, дрожащие отблески. Иное окно еще не завешено на ночь, и в глубине комнаты вдруг мелькнут на стене серые призраки; а другое окно еще не закрыли – и из здания, похожего на склеп, послышатся шорохи и шепот.
Леонард Мид останавливался, склонял голову набок, и прислушивался, и смотрел, а потом неслышно шел дальше по бугристому тротуару. Давно уже он, отправляясь на вечернюю прогулку, предусмотрительно надевал туфли на мягкой подошве: начни он стучать каблуками, в каждом квартале все собаки станут встречать и провожать его яростным лаем, и повсюду защелкают выключатели, и замаячат в окнах лица – всю улицу спугнет он, одинокий путник, своей прогулкой в ранний ноябрьский вечер.
В этот вечер он направился на запад – там, невидимое, лежало море. Такой был славный звонкий морозец, даже пощипывало нос, и в груди будто рождественская елка горела, при каждом вздохе то вспыхивали, то гасли холодные огоньки, и колкие ветки покрывал незримый снег. Приятно было слушать, как шуршат под мягкими подошвами осенние листья, и тихонько, неторопливо насвистывать сквозь зубы, и порой, подобрав сухой лист, при свете редких фонарей всматриваться на ходу в узор тонких жилок, и вдыхать горьковатый запах увядания.
– Эй, вы там, – шептал он, проходя, каждому дому, – что у вас нынче по четвертой программе, по седьмой, по девятой? Куда скачут ковбои? А из-за холма сейчас, конечно, подоспеет на выручку наша храбрая кавалерия?
Улица тянулась вдаль, безмолвная и пустынная, лишь его тень скользила по ней, словно тень ястреба над полями. Если закрыть глаза и стоять не шевелясь, почудится, будто тебя занесло в Аризону, в самое сердце зимней безжизненной равнины, где не дохнет ветер и на тысячи миль не встретить человеческого жилья, и только русла пересохших рек – безлюдные улицы – окружают тебя в твоем одиночестве.
– А что теперь? – спрашивал он у домов, бросив взгляд на ручные часы. – Половина девятого? Самое время для дюжины отборных убийств? Иди викторина? Эстрадное обозрение? Или вверх тормашками валится со сцены комик?
Что это – в доме, побеленном луной, кто-то негромко засмеялся? Леонард Мид помедлил – нет, больше ни звука, и он пошел дальше. Споткнулся – тротуар тут особенно неровный. Асфальта совсем не видно, все заросло цветами и травой. Десять лет он бродит вот так, то среди дня, то ночами, отшагал тысячи миль, но еще ни разу ему не повстречался ни один пешеход, ни разу.
Он вышел на тройной перекресток, здесь в улицу вливались два шоссе, пересекавшие город; сейчас тут было тихо. Весь день по обоим шоссе с ревом мчались автомобили, без передышки работали бензоколонки, машины жужжали и гудели, словно тучи огромных жуков, тесня и обгоняя друг друга, фыркая облаками выхлопных газов, и неслись, неслись каждая к своей далекой цели. Но сейчас и эти магистрали тоже похожи на русла рек, обнаженные засухой, – каменное ложе молча стынет в лунном сиянии.
Он свернул в переулок, пора было возвращаться. До дому оставался всего лишь квартал, как вдруг из-за угла вылетела одинокая машина и его ослепил яркий сноп света. Он замер, словно ночная бабочка в луче фонаря, потом, как завороженный, двинулся на свет.
Металлический голос приказал:
– Смирно! Ни с места! Ни шагу!
Он остановился.
– Руки вверх!
– Но… – начал он.
– Руки вверх! Будем стрелять!
Ясное дело – полиция, редкостный, невероятный случай; ведь на весь город с тремя миллионами жителей осталась одна-единственная полицейская машина, не так ли? Еще год назад, в 2052-м – в год выборов – полицейские силы были сокращены, из трех машин осталась одна. Преступность все убывала; полиция стала не нужна, только эта единственная машина все кружила и кружила по пустынным улицам.
– Имя? – негромким металлическим голосом спросила полицейская машина; яркий свет фар слепил глаза, людей не разглядеть.
– Леонард Мид, – ответил он.
– Громче!
– Леонард Мид!
– Род занятий?
– Пожалуй, меня следует назвать писателем.
– Без определенных занятий, – словно про себя сказала полицейская машина. Луч света упирался ему в грудь, пронизывал насквозь, точно игла жука в коллекции.
– Можно сказать и так, – согласился Мид.
Он ничего не писал уже много лет. Журналы и книги никто больше не покупает. "Все теперь замыкаются по вечерам в домах, подобных склепам", – подумал он, продолжая недавнюю игру воображения. Склепы тускло освещает отблеск телевизионных экранов, и люди сидят перед экранами, точно мертвецы; серые или разноцветные отсветы скользят по их лицам, но никогда не задевают душу.
– Без определенных занятий, – прошипел механический голос. – Что вы делаете на улице?
– Гуляю, – сказал Леонард Мид.
– Гуляете?!
– Да, просто гуляю, – честно повторил он, но кровь отхлынула от лица.
– Гуляете? Просто гуляете?
– Да, сэр.
– Где? Зачем?
– Дышу воздухом. И смотрю.
– Где живете?
– Южная сторона, Сент-Джеймс-стрит, одиннадцать.
– Но воздух есть и у вас в доме, мистер Мид? Кондиционная установка есть?
– Да.
– А чтобы смотреть, есть телевизор?
– Нет.
– Нет? – Молчание, только что-то потрескивает, и это – как обвинение.
– Вы женаты, мистер Мид?
– Нет.
– Не женат, – произнес жесткий голос за слепящей полосой света.
Луна поднялась уже высоко и сияла среди звезд, дома стояли серые, молчаливые.
– Ни одна женщина на меня не польстилась, – с улыбкой сказал Леонард Мид.
– Молчите, пока вас не спрашивают.
Леонард Мид ждал, холодная ночь обступала его.
– Вы просто гуляли, мистер Мид?
– Да.
– Вы не объяснили, с какой целью.
– Я объяснил: хотел подышать воздухом, поглядеть вокруг, просто пройтись.
– Часто вы этим занимаетесь?
– Каждый вечер, уже много лет.
Полицейская машина торчала посреди улицы, в ее радио-глотке что-то негромко гудело.
– Что ж, мистер Мид, – сказала она.
– Это все? – учтиво спросил Мид.
– Да, – ответил голос. – Сюда. – Что-то дохнуло, что-то щелкнуло. Задняя дверца машины распахнулась. – Влезайте.
– Погодите, ведь я ничего такого не сделал!
– Влезайте.
– Я протестую!
– Ми-стер Мид!
И он пошел нетвердой походкой, будто вдруг захмелел. Проходя мимо лобового стекла, заглянул внутрь. Так и знал: никого ни на переднем сиденье, ни вообще в машине.
– Влезайте.
Он взялся за дверцу и заглянул – заднее сиденье помещалось в черном тесном ящике, это была узкая тюремная камера, забранная решеткой. Пахло сталью. Едко пахло дезинфекцией; все отдавало чрезмерной чистотой, жесткостью, металлом. Здесь не было ничего мягкого.
– Будь вы женаты, жена могла бы подтвердить ваше алиби, – сказал железный голос. – Но…
– Куда вы меня повезете?
Машина словно засомневалась, послышалось слабое жужжание и щелчок, как будто где-то внутри механизм-информатор выбросил пробитую отверстиями карточку и подставил ее взгляду электрических глаз.
– В Психиатрический центр по исследованию атавистических наклонностей.
Он вошел в клетку. Дверь бесшумно захлопнулась. Полицейская машина покатила по ночным улицам, освещая себе путь приглушенными огнями фар.
Через минуту показался дом, он был один такой на одной только улице во всем этом городе темных домов – единственный дом, где зажжены были все электрические лампы и желтые квадраты окон празднично и жарко горели в холодном сумраке ночи.
– Вот он, мой дом, – сказал Леонард Мид.
Никто ему не ответил.
Машина мчалась все дальше и дальше по улицам – по каменным руслам пересохших рек, позади оставались пустынные мостовые и пустынные тротуары, и нигде в ледяной ноябрьской ночи больше ни звука, ни движения.
The April Witch 1952
Into the air, over the valleys, under the stars, above a river, a pond, a road, flew Cecy. Invisible as new spring winds, fresh as the breath of clover rising from twilight fields, she flew. She soared in doves as soft as white ermine, stopped in trees and lived in blossoms, showering away in petals when the breeze blew. She perched in a limegreen frog, cool as mint by a shining pool. She trotted in a brambly dog and barked to hear echoes from the sides of distant barns. She lived in new April grasses, in sweet clear liquids rising from the musky earth.
It's spring, thought Cecy. I'll be in every living thing in the world tonight.
Now she inhabited neat crickets on the tar-pool roads, now prickled in dew on an iron gate. Hers was an adapt-ably quick mind flowing unseen upon Illinois winds on this one evening of her life when she was just seventeen.
"I want to be in love," she said.
She had said it at supper. And her parents had widened their eyes and stiffened back in their chairs. "Patience," had been their advice. "Remember, you're remarkable. Our whole family is odd and remarkable. We can't mix or marry with ordinary folk. We'd lose our magical powers if we did. You wouldn't want to lose your ability to 'travel' by magic, would you? Then be careful. Be careful!"
But in her high bedroom, Cecy had touched perfume to her throat and stretched out, trembling and apprehensive, on her four-poster, as a moon the colour of milk rose over Illinois country, turning rivers to cream and roads to platinum.
"Yes," she sighed. "I'm one of an odd family. We sleep days and fly nights like black kites on the wind. If we want, we can sleep in moles through the winter, in the warm earth. I can live in anything at all – a pebble, a crocus, or a praying mantis. I can leave my plain, bony body behind and send my mind far out for adventure. Now!"
The wind whipped her away over fields and meadows.
She saw the warm spring lights of cottages and farms glowing with twilight colours.
If I can't be in love, myself, because I'm plain and odd, then I'll be in love through someone else, she thought.
Outside a farmhouse in the spring night a dark-haired girl, no more than nineteen, drew up water from a deep stone well. She was singing.
Cecy fell – a green leaf- into the well. She lay in the tender moss of the well, gazing up through dark coolness. Now she quickened in a fluttering, invisible amoeba. Now in a water droplet! At last, within a cold cup, she felt herself lifted to the girl's warm lips. There was a soft night sound of drinking.
Ceсy looked out from the girl's eyes.
She entered into the dark head and gazed from the shining eyes at the hands pulling the rough rope. She listened through the shell ears to this girl's world. She smelled a particular universe through these delicate nostrils, felt this special heart beating, beating. Felt this strange tongue move with singing.
Does she know I'm here? thought Cecy.
The girl gasped. She stared into the night meadows.
"Who's there?"
No answer.
"Only the wind," whispered Cecy.
"Only the wind." The girl laughed at herself, but shivered.
It was a good body, this girl's body. It held bones of finest slender ivory hidden and roundly fleshed. This brain was like a pink tea rose, hung in darkness, and there was cider-wine in this mouth. The lips lay firm on the white, white teeth and the brows arched neatly at the world, and the hair blew soft and fine on her milky neck. The pores knit small and close. The nose tilted at the moon and the cheeks glowed like small fires. The body drifted with feather-balances from one motion to another and seemed always singing to itself. Being in this body, this head, was like basking in a hearth fire, living in the purr of a sleeping cat, stirring in warm creek waters that flowed by night to the sea.
I'll like it here, thought Cecy.
"What?" asked the girl, as if she'd heard a voice.
"What's your name?" asked Cecy carefully.
"Ann Leary." The girl twitched. "Now why should I say that out loud?"
"Ann, Ann," whispered Cecy. "Ann, you're going to be in love."
As if to answer this, a great roar sprang from the road, a clatter and a ring of wheels on gravel. A tall man drove up in a rig, holding the reins high with his monstrous arms, his smile glowing across the yard.
"Is that you, Tom?"
"Who else?" Leaping from the rig, he tied the reins to the fence.
"I'm not speaking to you!" Ann whirled, the bucket in her hands slopping.
"No!" cried Cecy.
Ann froze. She looked at the hills and the first spring stars. She stared at the man named Tom. Cecy made her drop the bucket.
"Look what you've done!"
Tom ran up.
"Look what you made me do!"
He wiped her shoes with a kerchief, laughing.
"Get away!" She kicked at his hands, but he laughed again, and gazing down on him from miles away, Cecy saw the turn of his head, the size of his skull, the flare of his nose, the shine of his eye, the girth of his shoulder, and the hard strength of his hands doing this delicate thing with the handkerchief. Peering down from the secret attic of this lovely head, Cecy yanked a hidden copper ventriloquist's wire and the pretty mouth popped wide: "Thank you!"
"Oh, so you have manners?" The smell of leather on his hands, the smell of the horse rose from his clothes into the tender nostrils, and Cecy, far, far away over night meadows and flowered fields, stirred as with some dream in her bed.
"Not for you, no!" said Ann.
"Hush, speak gently," said Cecy. She moved Ann's fingers out toward Tom's head. Ann snatched them back.
"I've gone mad!"
"You have." He nodded, smiling but bewildered. "Were you going to touch me then?"
"I don't know. Oh, go away!" Her cheeks glowed with pink charcoals.
"Why don't you run? I'm not stopping you." Tom got up. "Have you changed your mind? Will you go to the dance with me tonight? It's special. Tell you why later."
"No," said Ann.
"Yes!" cried Cecy. "I've never danced. I want to dance. I've never worn a long gown, all rustly. I want that. I want to dance all night. I've never known what it's like to be in a woman, dancing; Father and Mother would never permit it. Dogs, cats, locusts, leaves, everything else in the world at one time or another I've known, but never a woman in the spring, never on a night like this. Oh, please – we must go to that dance!"
She spread her thought like the fingers of a hand within a new glove.
"Yes," said Ann Leary, "I'll go. I don't know why, but I'll go to the dance with you tonight, Tom."
"Now inside, quick!" cried Cecy. "You must wash, tell your folks, get your gown ready, out with the iron, into your room!"
"Mother," said Ann, "I've changed my mind!"
The rig was galloping off down the pike, the rooms of the farmhouse jumped to life, water was boiling for a bath, the coal stove was heating an iron to press the gown, the mother was rushing about with a fringe of hairpins in her mouth. "What's come over you, Ann? You don't like Tom!"
"That's true." Ann stopped amidst the great fever.
But it's spring! thought Cecy.
"It's spring," said Ann.
And it's a fine night for dancing, thought Cecy.
"… for dancing," murmured Ann, Leary.
Then she was in the tub and the soap creaming on her white seal shoulders, small nests of soap beneath her arms, and the flesh of her warm breasts moving in her hands and Cecy moving the mouth, making the smile, keeping the actions going. There must be no pause, no hesitation, or the entire pantomime might fall in ruins! Ann Leary must be kept moving, doing, acting, wash here, soap there, now out! Rub with a towel! Now perfume and powder!
"You!" Ann caught herself in the mirror, all whiteness and pinkness like lilies and carnations. "Who are you tonight?"
"I'm a girl seventeen." Cecy gazed from her violet eyes. "You can't see me. Do you know I'm here?"
Ann Leary shook her head. "I've rented my body to an April witch, for sure."
"Close, very close!" laughed Cecy. "Now, on with your dressing."
The luxury of feeling good clothes move over an ample body! And then the halloo outside.
"Ann, Tom's back!"
"Tell him to wait." Ann sat down suddenly. "Tell him I'm not going to that dance."
"What?" said her mother, in the door.
Cecy snapped back into attention. It had been a fatal relaxing, a fatal moment of leaving Ann's body for only an instant. She had heard the distant sound of horses' hoofs and the rig rambling through moonlit spring country. For a second she thought, I'll go find Tom and sit in his head and see what it's like to be in a man of twenty-two on a night like this. And so she had started quickly across a heather field, but now, like a bird to a cage, flew back and rustled and beat about in Ann Leary's head.
"Tell him to go away!"
"Ann!" Cecy settled down and spread her thoughts.
But Ann had the bit in her mouth now. "No, no, I hate him!"
I shouldn't have left – even for a moment. Cecy poured her mind into the hands of the young girl, into the heart, into the head, softly, softly. Stand up, she thought.
Ann stood.
Put on your coat!
Ann put on her coat.
Now, march!
No! thought Ann Leary.
March!
"Ann," said her mother, "don't keep Tom waiting another minute. You get on out there now and no nonsense. What's come over you?"
"Nothing, Mother. Good night. We'll be home late."
Ann and Cecy ran together into the spring evening.
A room full of softly dancing pigeons ruffling their quiet, trailing feathers, a room full of peacocks, a room full of rainbow eyes and lights. And in the center of it, around, around, around, danced Ann Leary.
"Oh, it is a fine evening," said Cecy.
"Oh, it's a fine evening," said Ann.
"You're odd," said Tom.
The music whirled them in dimness, in rivers of song, they floated, they bobbed, they sank down, they arose for air, they gasped, they clutched each other like drowning people and whirled on again, in fan motions, in whispers and sighs, to "Beautiful Ohio."
Cecy hummed. Ann's lips parted and the music came out.
"Yes, I'm odd," said Cecy.
"You're not the same," said Tom.
"No, not tonight."
"You're not the Ann Leary I knew."
"No, not at all, at all," whispered Cecy, miles and miles away. "No, not at all," said the moved lips.
"I've the funniest feeling," said Tom.
"About what?"
"About you." He held her back and danced her and looked into her glowing face, watching for something. "Your eyes," he said, "I can't figure it."
"Do you see me?" asked Cecy.
"Part of you's here, Ann, and part of you's not." Tom turned her carefully, his face uneasy.
"Yes."
"Why did you come with me?"
"I didn't want to come," said Ann.
"Why, then?"
"Something made me."
"What?"
"I don't know." Ann's voice was faintly hysterical.
"Now, now, hush, hush," whispered Cecy. "Hush, that's it. Around, around."
They whispered and rustled and rose and fell away in the dark room, with the music moving and turning them.
"But you did come to the dance," said Tom.
"I did," said Cecy.
"Here." And he danced her lightly out an open door and walked her quietly away from the hall and the music and the people.
They climbed up and sat together in the rig.
"Ann," he said, taking her hands, trembling. "Ann." But the way he said the name it was as if it wasn't her name. He kept glancing into her pale face, and now her eyes were open again. "I used to love you, you know that," he said.
"I know."
"But you've always been fickle and I didn't want to be hurt."
"It's just as well, we're very young," said Ann.
"No, I mean to say, I'm sorry," said Cecy.
"What do you mean?" Tom dropped her hands and stiffened.
The night was warm and the smell of the earth shimmered up all about them where they sat, and the fresh trees breathed one leaf against another in a shaking and rustling.
"I don't know," said Ann.
"Oh, but I know," said Cecy. "You're tall and you're the finest-looking man in all the world. This is a good evening; this is an evening I'll always remember, being with you." She put out the alien cold hand to find his reluctant hand again and bring it back, and warm it and hold it very tight.
"But," said Tom, blinking, "tonight you're here, you're there. One minute one way, the next minute another. I wanted to take you to the dance tonight for old times' sake. I meant nothing by it when I first asked you. And then, when we were standing at the well, I knew something had changed, really changed, about you. You were different. There was something new and soft, something…" He groped for a word. "I don't know, I can't say. The way you looked. Something about your voice. And I know I'm in love with you again."
"No," said Cecy. "With me, with we."
"And I'm afraid of being in love with you," he said. "You'll hurt me again."
"I might," said Ann.
No, no, I'd love you with all my heart! thought Cecy. Ann, say it to him, say it for me. Say you'd love him with all your heart.
Ann said nothing.
Tom moved quietly closer and put his hand up to hold her chin. "I'm going away. I've got a job a hundred miles from here. Will you miss me?"
"Yes," said Ann and Cecy.
"May I kiss you good-bye, then?"
"Yes," said Cecy before anyone else could speak.
He placed his lips to the strange mouth. He kissed the strange mouth and he was trembling.
Ann sat like a white statue.
"Ann!" said Cecy. "Move your arms, hold him!"
She sat like a carved wooden doll in the moonlight.
Again he kissed her lips.
"I do love you," whispered Cecy. "I'm here, it's me you saw in her eyes it's me, and I love you if she never will."
He moved away and seemed like a man who had run a long distance. He sat beside her. "I don't know what's happening. For a moment there…"
"Yes?" asked Cecy.
"For a moment I thought -" He put his hands to his eyes. "Never mind. Shall I take you home now?"
"Please," said Ann Leary.
He clucked to the horse, snapped the reins tiredly, and drove the rig away. They rode in the rustle and slap and motion of the moonlit rig in the still early, only eleven o'clock spring night, with the shining meadows and sweet fields of clover gliding by.
And Cecy, looking at the fields and meadows, thought, 'It would be worth it, it would be worth everything to be with him from this night on.' And she heard her parents' voices again, faintly, "Be careful. You wouldn't want to lose your magical powers, would you – married to a mere mortal? Be careful. You wouldn't want that."
Yes, yes, thought Cecy, even that I'd give up, here and now, if he would have me. I wouldn't need to roam the spring nights then, I wouldn't need to live in birds and dogs and cats and foxes, I'd need only to be with him. Only him. Only him.
The road passed under, whispering.
"Tom," said Ann at last.
"What?" He stared coldly at the road, the horse, the trees, the sky, the stars.
"If you're ever, in years to come, at any time, in Green Town, Illinois, a few miles from here, will you do me a favour?"
"Perhaps."
"Will you do me the favour of stopping and seeing a friend of mine?" Ann Leary said this haltingly, awkwardly.
"Why?"
"She's a good friend. I've told her of you. I'll give you her address. Just a moment." When the rig stopped at her farm she drew forth a pencil and paper from her small purse and wrote in the moonlight, pressing the paper to her knee. "There it is. Can you read it?"
He glanced at the paper and nodded bewilderedly.
"Cecy Elliott, 12 Willow Street, Green Town, Illinois," he said.
"Will you visit her someday?" asked Ann.
"Someday," he said.
"Promise?"
"What has this to do with us?" he cried savagely. "What do I want with names and papers?" He crumpled the paper into a tight ball and shoved it in his coat.
"Oh, please promise!" begged Cecy.
"… promise…" said Ann.
"All right, all right, now let me be!" he shouted.
I'm tired, thought Cecy. I can't stay I have to go home. I'm weakening. I've only the power to stay a few hours out like this in the night, travelling, travelling. But before I go…
"… before I go," said Ann.
She kissed Tom on the lips.
"This is me kissing you," said Cecy.
Tom held her off and looked at Ann Leary and looked deep, deep inside. He said nothing, but his face began to relax slowly, very slowly, and the lines vanished away, and his mouth softened from its hardness, and he looked deep again into the moonlit face held here before him.
Then he put her off the rig and without so much as a good night was driving swiftly down the road.
Cecy let go.
Ann Leary, crying out, released from prison, it seemed, raced up the moonlit path to her house and slammed the door.
Cecy lingered for only a little while. In the eyes of a cricket she saw the spring night world. In the eyes of a frog she sat for a lonely moment by a pool. In the eyes of a night bird she looked down from a tall, moon-haunted elm and saw the light go out in two farmhouses, one here, one a mile away. She thought of herself and her family, and her strange power, and the fact that no one in the family could ever marry any one of the people in this vast world out here beyond the hills.
"Tom?" Her weakening mind flew in a night bird under the trees and over deep fields of wild mustard. "Have you still got the paper, Tom? Will you come by someday, some year, sometime, to see me? Will you know me then? Will you look in my face and remember then where it was you saw me last and know that you love me as I love you, with all my heart for all time?"
She paused in the cool night air, a million miles from towns and people, above farms and continents and rivers and hills. "Tom?" Softly.
Tom was asleep. It was deep night; his clothes were hung on chairs or folded neatly over the end of the bed. And in one silent, carefully upflung hand upon the white pillow, by his head, was a small piece of paper with writing on it. Slowly, slowly, a fraction of an inch at a time, his fingers closed down upon and held it tightly. And he did not even stir or notice when a blackbird, faintly, wondrously, beat softly for " moment against the clear moon crystals of the windowpane, then, fluttering quietly, stopped and flew away toward the east, over the sleeping earth.
The April Witch 1952( Апрельское колдовство)
Высоко-высоко, выше гор, ниже звезд, над рекой, над прудом, над дорогой летела Сеси. Невидимая, как юные весенние ветры, свежая, как дыхание клевера на сумеречных лугах… Она парила в горлинках, мягких, как белый горностай, отдыхала в деревьях и жила в цветах, улетая с лепестками от самого легкого дуновения Она сидела в прохладной, как мята, лимонно-зеленой лягушке рядом с блестящей лужей. Она бежала в косматом псе и громко лаяла, чтобы услышать, как между амбарами вдалеке мечется эхо. Она жила в нежной апрельской травке, в чистой, как слеза, влаге, которая испарялась из пахнущей мускусом почвы.
"Весна… – думала Сеси. – Сегодня ночью я побываю во всем, что живет на свете"
Она вселялась в франтоватых кузнечиков на пятнистом гудроне шоссе, купалась в капле росы на железной ограде. В этот неповторимый вечер ей исполнилось ровно семнадцать лет, и душа ее, поминутно преображаясь, летела, незримая, на ветрах Иллинойса.
– Хочу влюбиться, – произнесла она.
Она еще за ужином сказала то же самое. Родители переглянулись и приняли чопорный вид.
– Терпение, – посоветовали они. – Не забудь, ты не как все. Наша семья вся особенная, необычная. Нам нельзя общаться с обыкновенными людьми, тем более вступать в брак. Не то мы лишимся своей магической силы. Ну скажи, разве ты захочешь утратить дар волшебных путешествий? То-то… Так что будь осторожна. Будь осторожна!
Но в своей спальне наверху Сеси чуть-чуть надушила шею и легла, трепещущая, взволнованная, на кровать с пологом, а над полями Иллинойса всплыла молочная луна, превращая реки в сметану, дороги – в платину.
– Да, – вздохнула она, – я из необычной семьи. День мы спим, ночь летаем по ветру, как черные бумажные змеи. Захотим – можем всю зиму проспать в кротах, в теплой земле. Я могу жить в чем угодно – в камушке, в крокусе, в богомоле. Могу оставить здесь свою невзрачную оболочку из плоти и послать душу далеко-далеко в полет, на поиски приключений. Лечу!
"Hello, in there," he whispered to every house on every side as he moved. "What's up tonight on Channel 4, Channel 7, Channel 9? Where are the cowboys rushing, and do I see the United States Cavalry over the next hill to the rescue?"
The street was silent and long and empty, with only his shadow moving like the shadow of a hawk in mid-country. If he closed his eyes and stood very still, frozen, he could imagine himself upon the center of a plain, a wintry, windless Arizona desert with no house in a thousand miles, and only dry river beds, the streets, for company.
"What is it now?" he asked the houses, noticing his wrist watch. "Eight-thirty P.M.? Time for a dozen assorted murders? A quiz? A revue? A comedian falling off the stage?"
Was that a murmur of laughter from within a moon-white house? He hesitated, but went on when nothing more happened. He stumbled over a particularly uneven section of sidewalk. The cement was vanishing under flowers and grass. In ten years of walking by night or day, for thousands of miles, he had never met another person walking, not one in all that time,
He came to a cloverleaf intersection which stood silent where two main highways crossed the town. During the day it was a thunderous surge of cars. the gas stations open, a great insect rustling and a ceaseless jockeying for position as the scarab-beetles, a faint incense puttering from their exhausts, skimmed homeward to the far directions. But now these highways, too, were like streams in a dry season, all stone and bed and moon radiance.
He turned back on a side street, circling around toward his home. He was within a block of his destination when the lone car turned a corner quite suddenly and flashed a fierce white cone of light upon him. He stood entranced, not unlike a night moth, stunned by the illumination, and then drawn toward it.
A metallic voice called to him:
"Stand still. Stay where you are! Don't move!"
He halted.
"Put up your hands!"
"But -" he said.
"Your hands up! Or we'll shoot!"
The police, of course, but what a rare, incredible thing, in a city of three million, there was only one police car left, wasn't that conect? Ever since a year ago, 2052, the election year, the force had been cut down from three cars to one. Crime was ebbing; there was no need now for the police, save for this one lone car wandering and wandering the empty streets.
"Your name?" said the police car in a metallic whisper.
He couldn't see the men in it for the bright light in his eyes.
"Leonard Mead," he said.
"Speak up!"
"Leonard Mead!"
"Business or profession?"
"I guess you'd call me a writer."
"No profession," said the police car, as if talking to itself. The light held him fixed, like a museum specimen, needle thrust through chest.
"You might say that," said Mr.Mead. He hadn't written in years. Magazines and books didn't sell any more. Everything went on in the tomb-like houses at night now, he thought, continuing his fancy. The tombs, ill-lit by television light, where the people sat like the dead, the gray or multi-coloured lights touching their faces, but never really touching them.
"No profession," said the phonograph voice, hissing. "What are you doing out?"
"Walking," said Leonard Mead.
"Walking!"
"Just walking," he said simply, but his face felt cold.
"Walking, just walking, walking?"
"Yes, sir."
"Walking where? For what?"
"Walking for air. Walking to see."
"Your address!"
"Eleven South Saint James Street."
"And there is air in your house, you have an air conditioner, Mr.Mead?"
"Yes."
"And you have a viewing screen in your house to see with?"
"No."
"No?" There was a crackling quiet that in itself was an accusation.
"Are you married, Mr.Mead?"
"No."
"Not married," said the police voice behind the fiery beam. The moon was high and clear among the stars and the houses were gray and silent.
"Nobody wanted me," said Leonard Mead with a smile.
"Don't speak unless you're spoken to!"
Leonard Mead waited in the cold night.
"Just walking, Mr.Mead?"
"Yes."
"But you haven't explained for what purpose."
"I explained; for air, and to see, and just to walk."
"Have you done this often?"
"Every night for years."
The police car sat in the center of the street with its radio throat faintly humming.
"Well, Mr.Mead," it said.
"Is that all?" he asked politely.
"Yes," said the voice. "Here." There was a sigh, a pop. The back door of the police car sprang wide. "Get in."
"Wait a minute, I haven't done anything!"
"Get in."
"I protest!"
"Mr.Mead."
He walked like a man suddenly drunk. As he passed the front window of the car he looked in. As he had expected, there was no one in the front seat, no one in the car at all.
"Get in."
He put his hand to the door and peered into the back seat, which was a little cell, a little black jail with bars. It smelled of riveted steel. It smelled of harsh antiseptic; it smelled too clean and hard and metallic. There was nothing soft there.
"Now if you had a wife to give you an alibi," said the iron voice. "But -"
"Where are you taking me?"
The car hesitated, or rather gave a faint whirring click, as if information, somewhere, was dropping card by punch-slotted card under electric eyes. "To the Psychiatric Center for Research on Regressive Tendencies."
He got in. The door shut with a soft thud. The police car rolled through the night avenues, flashing its dim lights ahead.
They passed one house on one street a moment later, one house in an entire city of houses that were dark, but this one particular house had all of its electric lights brightly lit, every window a loud yellow illumination, square and warm in the cool darkness.
"That's my house," said Leonard Mead.
No one answered him.
The car moved down the empty river-bed streets and off away, leaving the empty streets with the empty sidewalks, and no sound and no motion all the rest of the chill November night.
The Pedestrian 1951( Пешеход)
Переводчик: Нора Галь
Больше всего на свете Леонард Мид любил выйти в тишину, что туманным ноябрьским вечером, часам к восьми, окутывает город, и – руки в карманы – шагать сквозь тишину по неровному асфальту тротуаров, стараясь не наступить на проросшую из трещин траву. Остановясь на перекрестке, он всматривался в длинные улицы, озаренные луной, и решал, в какую сторону пойти, – а впрочем, невелика разница: ведь а этом мире, в лето от Рождества Христова две тысячи пятьдесят третье, он один или все равно что один; и наконец он решался, выбирал дорогу и шагал, и перед ним, точно дым сигары, клубился в морозном воздухе пар его дыхания.
Иногда он шел так часами, отмеряя милю за милей, и возвращался только в полночь. На ходу он оглядывал дома и домики с темными окнами – казалось, идешь по кладбищу, и лишь изредка, точно светлячки, мерцают за окнами слабые, дрожащие отблески. Иное окно еще не завешено на ночь, и в глубине комнаты вдруг мелькнут на стене серые призраки; а другое окно еще не закрыли – и из здания, похожего на склеп, послышатся шорохи и шепот.
Леонард Мид останавливался, склонял голову набок, и прислушивался, и смотрел, а потом неслышно шел дальше по бугристому тротуару. Давно уже он, отправляясь на вечернюю прогулку, предусмотрительно надевал туфли на мягкой подошве: начни он стучать каблуками, в каждом квартале все собаки станут встречать и провожать его яростным лаем, и повсюду защелкают выключатели, и замаячат в окнах лица – всю улицу спугнет он, одинокий путник, своей прогулкой в ранний ноябрьский вечер.
В этот вечер он направился на запад – там, невидимое, лежало море. Такой был славный звонкий морозец, даже пощипывало нос, и в груди будто рождественская елка горела, при каждом вздохе то вспыхивали, то гасли холодные огоньки, и колкие ветки покрывал незримый снег. Приятно было слушать, как шуршат под мягкими подошвами осенние листья, и тихонько, неторопливо насвистывать сквозь зубы, и порой, подобрав сухой лист, при свете редких фонарей всматриваться на ходу в узор тонких жилок, и вдыхать горьковатый запах увядания.
– Эй, вы там, – шептал он, проходя, каждому дому, – что у вас нынче по четвертой программе, по седьмой, по девятой? Куда скачут ковбои? А из-за холма сейчас, конечно, подоспеет на выручку наша храбрая кавалерия?
Улица тянулась вдаль, безмолвная и пустынная, лишь его тень скользила по ней, словно тень ястреба над полями. Если закрыть глаза и стоять не шевелясь, почудится, будто тебя занесло в Аризону, в самое сердце зимней безжизненной равнины, где не дохнет ветер и на тысячи миль не встретить человеческого жилья, и только русла пересохших рек – безлюдные улицы – окружают тебя в твоем одиночестве.
– А что теперь? – спрашивал он у домов, бросив взгляд на ручные часы. – Половина девятого? Самое время для дюжины отборных убийств? Иди викторина? Эстрадное обозрение? Или вверх тормашками валится со сцены комик?
Что это – в доме, побеленном луной, кто-то негромко засмеялся? Леонард Мид помедлил – нет, больше ни звука, и он пошел дальше. Споткнулся – тротуар тут особенно неровный. Асфальта совсем не видно, все заросло цветами и травой. Десять лет он бродит вот так, то среди дня, то ночами, отшагал тысячи миль, но еще ни разу ему не повстречался ни один пешеход, ни разу.
Он вышел на тройной перекресток, здесь в улицу вливались два шоссе, пересекавшие город; сейчас тут было тихо. Весь день по обоим шоссе с ревом мчались автомобили, без передышки работали бензоколонки, машины жужжали и гудели, словно тучи огромных жуков, тесня и обгоняя друг друга, фыркая облаками выхлопных газов, и неслись, неслись каждая к своей далекой цели. Но сейчас и эти магистрали тоже похожи на русла рек, обнаженные засухой, – каменное ложе молча стынет в лунном сиянии.
Он свернул в переулок, пора было возвращаться. До дому оставался всего лишь квартал, как вдруг из-за угла вылетела одинокая машина и его ослепил яркий сноп света. Он замер, словно ночная бабочка в луче фонаря, потом, как завороженный, двинулся на свет.
Металлический голос приказал:
– Смирно! Ни с места! Ни шагу!
Он остановился.
– Руки вверх!
– Но… – начал он.
– Руки вверх! Будем стрелять!
Ясное дело – полиция, редкостный, невероятный случай; ведь на весь город с тремя миллионами жителей осталась одна-единственная полицейская машина, не так ли? Еще год назад, в 2052-м – в год выборов – полицейские силы были сокращены, из трех машин осталась одна. Преступность все убывала; полиция стала не нужна, только эта единственная машина все кружила и кружила по пустынным улицам.
– Имя? – негромким металлическим голосом спросила полицейская машина; яркий свет фар слепил глаза, людей не разглядеть.
– Леонард Мид, – ответил он.
– Громче!
– Леонард Мид!
– Род занятий?
– Пожалуй, меня следует назвать писателем.
– Без определенных занятий, – словно про себя сказала полицейская машина. Луч света упирался ему в грудь, пронизывал насквозь, точно игла жука в коллекции.
– Можно сказать и так, – согласился Мид.
Он ничего не писал уже много лет. Журналы и книги никто больше не покупает. "Все теперь замыкаются по вечерам в домах, подобных склепам", – подумал он, продолжая недавнюю игру воображения. Склепы тускло освещает отблеск телевизионных экранов, и люди сидят перед экранами, точно мертвецы; серые или разноцветные отсветы скользят по их лицам, но никогда не задевают душу.
– Без определенных занятий, – прошипел механический голос. – Что вы делаете на улице?
– Гуляю, – сказал Леонард Мид.
– Гуляете?!
– Да, просто гуляю, – честно повторил он, но кровь отхлынула от лица.
– Гуляете? Просто гуляете?
– Да, сэр.
– Где? Зачем?
– Дышу воздухом. И смотрю.
– Где живете?
– Южная сторона, Сент-Джеймс-стрит, одиннадцать.
– Но воздух есть и у вас в доме, мистер Мид? Кондиционная установка есть?
– Да.
– А чтобы смотреть, есть телевизор?
– Нет.
– Нет? – Молчание, только что-то потрескивает, и это – как обвинение.
– Вы женаты, мистер Мид?
– Нет.
– Не женат, – произнес жесткий голос за слепящей полосой света.
Луна поднялась уже высоко и сияла среди звезд, дома стояли серые, молчаливые.
– Ни одна женщина на меня не польстилась, – с улыбкой сказал Леонард Мид.
– Молчите, пока вас не спрашивают.
Леонард Мид ждал, холодная ночь обступала его.
– Вы просто гуляли, мистер Мид?
– Да.
– Вы не объяснили, с какой целью.
– Я объяснил: хотел подышать воздухом, поглядеть вокруг, просто пройтись.
– Часто вы этим занимаетесь?
– Каждый вечер, уже много лет.
Полицейская машина торчала посреди улицы, в ее радио-глотке что-то негромко гудело.
– Что ж, мистер Мид, – сказала она.
– Это все? – учтиво спросил Мид.
– Да, – ответил голос. – Сюда. – Что-то дохнуло, что-то щелкнуло. Задняя дверца машины распахнулась. – Влезайте.
– Погодите, ведь я ничего такого не сделал!
– Влезайте.
– Я протестую!
– Ми-стер Мид!
И он пошел нетвердой походкой, будто вдруг захмелел. Проходя мимо лобового стекла, заглянул внутрь. Так и знал: никого ни на переднем сиденье, ни вообще в машине.
– Влезайте.
Он взялся за дверцу и заглянул – заднее сиденье помещалось в черном тесном ящике, это была узкая тюремная камера, забранная решеткой. Пахло сталью. Едко пахло дезинфекцией; все отдавало чрезмерной чистотой, жесткостью, металлом. Здесь не было ничего мягкого.
– Будь вы женаты, жена могла бы подтвердить ваше алиби, – сказал железный голос. – Но…
– Куда вы меня повезете?
Машина словно засомневалась, послышалось слабое жужжание и щелчок, как будто где-то внутри механизм-информатор выбросил пробитую отверстиями карточку и подставил ее взгляду электрических глаз.
– В Психиатрический центр по исследованию атавистических наклонностей.
Он вошел в клетку. Дверь бесшумно захлопнулась. Полицейская машина покатила по ночным улицам, освещая себе путь приглушенными огнями фар.
Через минуту показался дом, он был один такой на одной только улице во всем этом городе темных домов – единственный дом, где зажжены были все электрические лампы и желтые квадраты окон празднично и жарко горели в холодном сумраке ночи.
– Вот он, мой дом, – сказал Леонард Мид.
Никто ему не ответил.
Машина мчалась все дальше и дальше по улицам – по каменным руслам пересохших рек, позади оставались пустынные мостовые и пустынные тротуары, и нигде в ледяной ноябрьской ночи больше ни звука, ни движения.
The April Witch 1952
Into the air, over the valleys, under the stars, above a river, a pond, a road, flew Cecy. Invisible as new spring winds, fresh as the breath of clover rising from twilight fields, she flew. She soared in doves as soft as white ermine, stopped in trees and lived in blossoms, showering away in petals when the breeze blew. She perched in a limegreen frog, cool as mint by a shining pool. She trotted in a brambly dog and barked to hear echoes from the sides of distant barns. She lived in new April grasses, in sweet clear liquids rising from the musky earth.
It's spring, thought Cecy. I'll be in every living thing in the world tonight.
Now she inhabited neat crickets on the tar-pool roads, now prickled in dew on an iron gate. Hers was an adapt-ably quick mind flowing unseen upon Illinois winds on this one evening of her life when she was just seventeen.
"I want to be in love," she said.
She had said it at supper. And her parents had widened their eyes and stiffened back in their chairs. "Patience," had been their advice. "Remember, you're remarkable. Our whole family is odd and remarkable. We can't mix or marry with ordinary folk. We'd lose our magical powers if we did. You wouldn't want to lose your ability to 'travel' by magic, would you? Then be careful. Be careful!"
But in her high bedroom, Cecy had touched perfume to her throat and stretched out, trembling and apprehensive, on her four-poster, as a moon the colour of milk rose over Illinois country, turning rivers to cream and roads to platinum.
"Yes," she sighed. "I'm one of an odd family. We sleep days and fly nights like black kites on the wind. If we want, we can sleep in moles through the winter, in the warm earth. I can live in anything at all – a pebble, a crocus, or a praying mantis. I can leave my plain, bony body behind and send my mind far out for adventure. Now!"
The wind whipped her away over fields and meadows.
She saw the warm spring lights of cottages and farms glowing with twilight colours.
If I can't be in love, myself, because I'm plain and odd, then I'll be in love through someone else, she thought.
Outside a farmhouse in the spring night a dark-haired girl, no more than nineteen, drew up water from a deep stone well. She was singing.
Cecy fell – a green leaf- into the well. She lay in the tender moss of the well, gazing up through dark coolness. Now she quickened in a fluttering, invisible amoeba. Now in a water droplet! At last, within a cold cup, she felt herself lifted to the girl's warm lips. There was a soft night sound of drinking.
Ceсy looked out from the girl's eyes.
She entered into the dark head and gazed from the shining eyes at the hands pulling the rough rope. She listened through the shell ears to this girl's world. She smelled a particular universe through these delicate nostrils, felt this special heart beating, beating. Felt this strange tongue move with singing.
Does she know I'm here? thought Cecy.
The girl gasped. She stared into the night meadows.
"Who's there?"
No answer.
"Only the wind," whispered Cecy.
"Only the wind." The girl laughed at herself, but shivered.
It was a good body, this girl's body. It held bones of finest slender ivory hidden and roundly fleshed. This brain was like a pink tea rose, hung in darkness, and there was cider-wine in this mouth. The lips lay firm on the white, white teeth and the brows arched neatly at the world, and the hair blew soft and fine on her milky neck. The pores knit small and close. The nose tilted at the moon and the cheeks glowed like small fires. The body drifted with feather-balances from one motion to another and seemed always singing to itself. Being in this body, this head, was like basking in a hearth fire, living in the purr of a sleeping cat, stirring in warm creek waters that flowed by night to the sea.
I'll like it here, thought Cecy.
"What?" asked the girl, as if she'd heard a voice.
"What's your name?" asked Cecy carefully.
"Ann Leary." The girl twitched. "Now why should I say that out loud?"
"Ann, Ann," whispered Cecy. "Ann, you're going to be in love."
As if to answer this, a great roar sprang from the road, a clatter and a ring of wheels on gravel. A tall man drove up in a rig, holding the reins high with his monstrous arms, his smile glowing across the yard.
"Is that you, Tom?"
"Who else?" Leaping from the rig, he tied the reins to the fence.
"I'm not speaking to you!" Ann whirled, the bucket in her hands slopping.
"No!" cried Cecy.
Ann froze. She looked at the hills and the first spring stars. She stared at the man named Tom. Cecy made her drop the bucket.
"Look what you've done!"
Tom ran up.
"Look what you made me do!"
He wiped her shoes with a kerchief, laughing.
"Get away!" She kicked at his hands, but he laughed again, and gazing down on him from miles away, Cecy saw the turn of his head, the size of his skull, the flare of his nose, the shine of his eye, the girth of his shoulder, and the hard strength of his hands doing this delicate thing with the handkerchief. Peering down from the secret attic of this lovely head, Cecy yanked a hidden copper ventriloquist's wire and the pretty mouth popped wide: "Thank you!"
"Oh, so you have manners?" The smell of leather on his hands, the smell of the horse rose from his clothes into the tender nostrils, and Cecy, far, far away over night meadows and flowered fields, stirred as with some dream in her bed.
"Not for you, no!" said Ann.
"Hush, speak gently," said Cecy. She moved Ann's fingers out toward Tom's head. Ann snatched them back.
"I've gone mad!"
"You have." He nodded, smiling but bewildered. "Were you going to touch me then?"
"I don't know. Oh, go away!" Her cheeks glowed with pink charcoals.
"Why don't you run? I'm not stopping you." Tom got up. "Have you changed your mind? Will you go to the dance with me tonight? It's special. Tell you why later."
"No," said Ann.
"Yes!" cried Cecy. "I've never danced. I want to dance. I've never worn a long gown, all rustly. I want that. I want to dance all night. I've never known what it's like to be in a woman, dancing; Father and Mother would never permit it. Dogs, cats, locusts, leaves, everything else in the world at one time or another I've known, but never a woman in the spring, never on a night like this. Oh, please – we must go to that dance!"
She spread her thought like the fingers of a hand within a new glove.
"Yes," said Ann Leary, "I'll go. I don't know why, but I'll go to the dance with you tonight, Tom."
"Now inside, quick!" cried Cecy. "You must wash, tell your folks, get your gown ready, out with the iron, into your room!"
"Mother," said Ann, "I've changed my mind!"
The rig was galloping off down the pike, the rooms of the farmhouse jumped to life, water was boiling for a bath, the coal stove was heating an iron to press the gown, the mother was rushing about with a fringe of hairpins in her mouth. "What's come over you, Ann? You don't like Tom!"
"That's true." Ann stopped amidst the great fever.
But it's spring! thought Cecy.
"It's spring," said Ann.
And it's a fine night for dancing, thought Cecy.
"… for dancing," murmured Ann, Leary.
Then she was in the tub and the soap creaming on her white seal shoulders, small nests of soap beneath her arms, and the flesh of her warm breasts moving in her hands and Cecy moving the mouth, making the smile, keeping the actions going. There must be no pause, no hesitation, or the entire pantomime might fall in ruins! Ann Leary must be kept moving, doing, acting, wash here, soap there, now out! Rub with a towel! Now perfume and powder!
"You!" Ann caught herself in the mirror, all whiteness and pinkness like lilies and carnations. "Who are you tonight?"
"I'm a girl seventeen." Cecy gazed from her violet eyes. "You can't see me. Do you know I'm here?"
Ann Leary shook her head. "I've rented my body to an April witch, for sure."
"Close, very close!" laughed Cecy. "Now, on with your dressing."
The luxury of feeling good clothes move over an ample body! And then the halloo outside.
"Ann, Tom's back!"
"Tell him to wait." Ann sat down suddenly. "Tell him I'm not going to that dance."
"What?" said her mother, in the door.
Cecy snapped back into attention. It had been a fatal relaxing, a fatal moment of leaving Ann's body for only an instant. She had heard the distant sound of horses' hoofs and the rig rambling through moonlit spring country. For a second she thought, I'll go find Tom and sit in his head and see what it's like to be in a man of twenty-two on a night like this. And so she had started quickly across a heather field, but now, like a bird to a cage, flew back and rustled and beat about in Ann Leary's head.
"Tell him to go away!"
"Ann!" Cecy settled down and spread her thoughts.
But Ann had the bit in her mouth now. "No, no, I hate him!"
I shouldn't have left – even for a moment. Cecy poured her mind into the hands of the young girl, into the heart, into the head, softly, softly. Stand up, she thought.
Ann stood.
Put on your coat!
Ann put on her coat.
Now, march!
No! thought Ann Leary.
March!
"Ann," said her mother, "don't keep Tom waiting another minute. You get on out there now and no nonsense. What's come over you?"
"Nothing, Mother. Good night. We'll be home late."
Ann and Cecy ran together into the spring evening.
A room full of softly dancing pigeons ruffling their quiet, trailing feathers, a room full of peacocks, a room full of rainbow eyes and lights. And in the center of it, around, around, around, danced Ann Leary.
"Oh, it is a fine evening," said Cecy.
"Oh, it's a fine evening," said Ann.
"You're odd," said Tom.
The music whirled them in dimness, in rivers of song, they floated, they bobbed, they sank down, they arose for air, they gasped, they clutched each other like drowning people and whirled on again, in fan motions, in whispers and sighs, to "Beautiful Ohio."
Cecy hummed. Ann's lips parted and the music came out.
"Yes, I'm odd," said Cecy.
"You're not the same," said Tom.
"No, not tonight."
"You're not the Ann Leary I knew."
"No, not at all, at all," whispered Cecy, miles and miles away. "No, not at all," said the moved lips.
"I've the funniest feeling," said Tom.
"About what?"
"About you." He held her back and danced her and looked into her glowing face, watching for something. "Your eyes," he said, "I can't figure it."
"Do you see me?" asked Cecy.
"Part of you's here, Ann, and part of you's not." Tom turned her carefully, his face uneasy.
"Yes."
"Why did you come with me?"
"I didn't want to come," said Ann.
"Why, then?"
"Something made me."
"What?"
"I don't know." Ann's voice was faintly hysterical.
"Now, now, hush, hush," whispered Cecy. "Hush, that's it. Around, around."
They whispered and rustled and rose and fell away in the dark room, with the music moving and turning them.
"But you did come to the dance," said Tom.
"I did," said Cecy.
"Here." And he danced her lightly out an open door and walked her quietly away from the hall and the music and the people.
They climbed up and sat together in the rig.
"Ann," he said, taking her hands, trembling. "Ann." But the way he said the name it was as if it wasn't her name. He kept glancing into her pale face, and now her eyes were open again. "I used to love you, you know that," he said.
"I know."
"But you've always been fickle and I didn't want to be hurt."
"It's just as well, we're very young," said Ann.
"No, I mean to say, I'm sorry," said Cecy.
"What do you mean?" Tom dropped her hands and stiffened.
The night was warm and the smell of the earth shimmered up all about them where they sat, and the fresh trees breathed one leaf against another in a shaking and rustling.
"I don't know," said Ann.
"Oh, but I know," said Cecy. "You're tall and you're the finest-looking man in all the world. This is a good evening; this is an evening I'll always remember, being with you." She put out the alien cold hand to find his reluctant hand again and bring it back, and warm it and hold it very tight.
"But," said Tom, blinking, "tonight you're here, you're there. One minute one way, the next minute another. I wanted to take you to the dance tonight for old times' sake. I meant nothing by it when I first asked you. And then, when we were standing at the well, I knew something had changed, really changed, about you. You were different. There was something new and soft, something…" He groped for a word. "I don't know, I can't say. The way you looked. Something about your voice. And I know I'm in love with you again."
"No," said Cecy. "With me, with we."
"And I'm afraid of being in love with you," he said. "You'll hurt me again."
"I might," said Ann.
No, no, I'd love you with all my heart! thought Cecy. Ann, say it to him, say it for me. Say you'd love him with all your heart.
Ann said nothing.
Tom moved quietly closer and put his hand up to hold her chin. "I'm going away. I've got a job a hundred miles from here. Will you miss me?"
"Yes," said Ann and Cecy.
"May I kiss you good-bye, then?"
"Yes," said Cecy before anyone else could speak.
He placed his lips to the strange mouth. He kissed the strange mouth and he was trembling.
Ann sat like a white statue.
"Ann!" said Cecy. "Move your arms, hold him!"
She sat like a carved wooden doll in the moonlight.
Again he kissed her lips.
"I do love you," whispered Cecy. "I'm here, it's me you saw in her eyes it's me, and I love you if she never will."
He moved away and seemed like a man who had run a long distance. He sat beside her. "I don't know what's happening. For a moment there…"
"Yes?" asked Cecy.
"For a moment I thought -" He put his hands to his eyes. "Never mind. Shall I take you home now?"
"Please," said Ann Leary.
He clucked to the horse, snapped the reins tiredly, and drove the rig away. They rode in the rustle and slap and motion of the moonlit rig in the still early, only eleven o'clock spring night, with the shining meadows and sweet fields of clover gliding by.
And Cecy, looking at the fields and meadows, thought, 'It would be worth it, it would be worth everything to be with him from this night on.' And she heard her parents' voices again, faintly, "Be careful. You wouldn't want to lose your magical powers, would you – married to a mere mortal? Be careful. You wouldn't want that."
Yes, yes, thought Cecy, even that I'd give up, here and now, if he would have me. I wouldn't need to roam the spring nights then, I wouldn't need to live in birds and dogs and cats and foxes, I'd need only to be with him. Only him. Only him.
The road passed under, whispering.
"Tom," said Ann at last.
"What?" He stared coldly at the road, the horse, the trees, the sky, the stars.
"If you're ever, in years to come, at any time, in Green Town, Illinois, a few miles from here, will you do me a favour?"
"Perhaps."
"Will you do me the favour of stopping and seeing a friend of mine?" Ann Leary said this haltingly, awkwardly.
"Why?"
"She's a good friend. I've told her of you. I'll give you her address. Just a moment." When the rig stopped at her farm she drew forth a pencil and paper from her small purse and wrote in the moonlight, pressing the paper to her knee. "There it is. Can you read it?"
He glanced at the paper and nodded bewilderedly.
"Cecy Elliott, 12 Willow Street, Green Town, Illinois," he said.
"Will you visit her someday?" asked Ann.
"Someday," he said.
"Promise?"
"What has this to do with us?" he cried savagely. "What do I want with names and papers?" He crumpled the paper into a tight ball and shoved it in his coat.
"Oh, please promise!" begged Cecy.
"… promise…" said Ann.
"All right, all right, now let me be!" he shouted.
I'm tired, thought Cecy. I can't stay I have to go home. I'm weakening. I've only the power to stay a few hours out like this in the night, travelling, travelling. But before I go…
"… before I go," said Ann.
She kissed Tom on the lips.
"This is me kissing you," said Cecy.
Tom held her off and looked at Ann Leary and looked deep, deep inside. He said nothing, but his face began to relax slowly, very slowly, and the lines vanished away, and his mouth softened from its hardness, and he looked deep again into the moonlit face held here before him.
Then he put her off the rig and without so much as a good night was driving swiftly down the road.
Cecy let go.
Ann Leary, crying out, released from prison, it seemed, raced up the moonlit path to her house and slammed the door.
Cecy lingered for only a little while. In the eyes of a cricket she saw the spring night world. In the eyes of a frog she sat for a lonely moment by a pool. In the eyes of a night bird she looked down from a tall, moon-haunted elm and saw the light go out in two farmhouses, one here, one a mile away. She thought of herself and her family, and her strange power, and the fact that no one in the family could ever marry any one of the people in this vast world out here beyond the hills.
"Tom?" Her weakening mind flew in a night bird under the trees and over deep fields of wild mustard. "Have you still got the paper, Tom? Will you come by someday, some year, sometime, to see me? Will you know me then? Will you look in my face and remember then where it was you saw me last and know that you love me as I love you, with all my heart for all time?"
She paused in the cool night air, a million miles from towns and people, above farms and continents and rivers and hills. "Tom?" Softly.
Tom was asleep. It was deep night; his clothes were hung on chairs or folded neatly over the end of the bed. And in one silent, carefully upflung hand upon the white pillow, by his head, was a small piece of paper with writing on it. Slowly, slowly, a fraction of an inch at a time, his fingers closed down upon and held it tightly. And he did not even stir or notice when a blackbird, faintly, wondrously, beat softly for " moment against the clear moon crystals of the windowpane, then, fluttering quietly, stopped and flew away toward the east, over the sleeping earth.
The April Witch 1952( Апрельское колдовство)
Переводчик: Лев Жданов
Высоко-высоко, выше гор, ниже звезд, над рекой, над прудом, над дорогой летела Сеси. Невидимая, как юные весенние ветры, свежая, как дыхание клевера на сумеречных лугах… Она парила в горлинках, мягких, как белый горностай, отдыхала в деревьях и жила в цветах, улетая с лепестками от самого легкого дуновения Она сидела в прохладной, как мята, лимонно-зеленой лягушке рядом с блестящей лужей. Она бежала в косматом псе и громко лаяла, чтобы услышать, как между амбарами вдалеке мечется эхо. Она жила в нежной апрельской травке, в чистой, как слеза, влаге, которая испарялась из пахнущей мускусом почвы.
"Весна… – думала Сеси. – Сегодня ночью я побываю во всем, что живет на свете"
Она вселялась в франтоватых кузнечиков на пятнистом гудроне шоссе, купалась в капле росы на железной ограде. В этот неповторимый вечер ей исполнилось ровно семнадцать лет, и душа ее, поминутно преображаясь, летела, незримая, на ветрах Иллинойса.
– Хочу влюбиться, – произнесла она.
Она еще за ужином сказала то же самое. Родители переглянулись и приняли чопорный вид.
– Терпение, – посоветовали они. – Не забудь, ты не как все. Наша семья вся особенная, необычная. Нам нельзя общаться с обыкновенными людьми, тем более вступать в брак. Не то мы лишимся своей магической силы. Ну скажи, разве ты захочешь утратить дар волшебных путешествий? То-то… Так что будь осторожна. Будь осторожна!
Но в своей спальне наверху Сеси чуть-чуть надушила шею и легла, трепещущая, взволнованная, на кровать с пологом, а над полями Иллинойса всплыла молочная луна, превращая реки в сметану, дороги – в платину.
– Да, – вздохнула она, – я из необычной семьи. День мы спим, ночь летаем по ветру, как черные бумажные змеи. Захотим – можем всю зиму проспать в кротах, в теплой земле. Я могу жить в чем угодно – в камушке, в крокусе, в богомоле. Могу оставить здесь свою невзрачную оболочку из плоти и послать душу далеко-далеко в полет, на поиски приключений. Лечу!